PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
Growth Patterns
In Foundation, pre-parents can influence their future child's health through the quality of their own health. A woman who is physically and nutritionally fit will tend to have a relatively easy pregnancy and birth. She will most likely have less discomfort, more energy, and more emotional stability during this time, and she will pass on greater health and disease immunity to her child. A man who is nutritionally and physically healthy will have a higher quality and quantity of sperm (which leads to better "selection"). He will also be more apt to hold up to the rigors of the gestation and birth, both physically and emotionally.
Physical health is not the only factor for pre-parents to consider during Foundation. What is the "health" of their relationship? This is absolutely crucial to the matrix upon which the child will emerge. A strong and resilient partnership is essential, and until this is established, pregnancy might well be avoided, for this and their physical health will set the tone for the pregnancy.
Nutrition
Some nutritionists will tell you that the most important years in a child's nutrition are the two before birth! Both pre-parents have a profound influence on their child by the way they eat. It affects their mood and the subsequent atmosphere between them. It affects the health of both sperm and uterus. It affects their ability to hold up to the rigors of gestation and infancy. So although no rules will be set forth here, it suffices that pre-parents need to consider this area before conception and all through gestation.
One very important point needs to be made. Biochemists are very concerned about the depletion of the earth's topsoil, particularly in heavy farming regions like North America. The depletion in quantity and quality of this precious resource has great bearing on the nutrition of all age groups. Pre-parents may need to consider how they and their future child will receive vital nutrients, particularly trace minerals that are fast disappearing from our soil. Coupled with the possibility of contamination from insecticides, radiation, and chemical preservatives, sweeteners, etc., this concern has vast ramifications, and it may necessitate re-evaluating the family lifestyle. Perhaps fast foods and "junk" foods are the first to be curtailed or eliminated. Perhaps there needs to be a monitoring of the sources where foods are being purchased. Perhaps nutritional supplementation needs to be considered. The choices made at this point may well influence development for years to come.
PSYCHO-SOCIAL & CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
Developmental Urges & Tasks
When does the child's individuality begin to manifest? At birth? At conception? Before that? Without going off into realms of speculation, there are some logical considerations that can be made in the light of natural progression. During Foundation, pre-parents are making choices that will determine what kind of behavioral patterns they will have to handle. In a sense, they are determining the quality of love their child will be able to receive and give, just by their choices in diet, attitude, atmosphere, etc. Perhaps choices are being made at other levels as well, but the conscious decisions made by pre-parents at this time are sufficient to allow a natural, healthy pattern at the outset.
Sense Development
As couples prepare for parenting, they can address some issues which will have a tremendous bearing on the atmosphere in which the child will develop the various senses. Besides monitoring their physical condition and lifestyle, pre-parents can take time to check the state of their own consciousness in regard to these items:
a) Does each really want a child consciously? Subconsciously? Is there any harboring of imposition, obligation, or guilt associated with the idea of parenting at this time? Is there adequate communication about these feelings?
b) How does the man feel about the woman? Is he willing and able to encompass her physically and emotionally during the rigorous time ahead? Is he secretly dependent on her, which might make him resentful when she must soon rely so much on him?
c) Has each one begun to integrate the male and female aspects of personality? Is each one getting comfortable with the entire spectrum of feelings that are possible? Are they getting comfortable with each other expressing a full range, even when it does not fit the stereotypes or expectations men and women may have for each other? Are they becoming comfortable with their own and their partner's sexuality?
These are critical issues, for they set the tone and quality of the home setting. If these issues are met and resolved before conception, the couple is free to focus their energies on the Creative Process ahead, rather than on their own psychological needs.
Character Development
If the child is going to develop a character that is grounded in assurance and an understanding of the Creative Process, it begins with pre-parents who possess the same qualities. Stillness is the key, and this is only possible when the couple has proved trustworthiness and stability to each other. Then hearts are relaxed and the Creative Process can be a living reality in the home -- and in that atmosphere character can develop solidly.
Educational Approach
Couples who are considering a family would benefit from specific preparation. Among the topics they might consider are: the stages of development, the creation of a proper home atmosphere, how the Creative Process applies to conception and gestation (physically and emotionally), parental responsibilities, support systems, etc. As with training in the Creative Process, it is not easy to find such instruction at this stage. Rather than a class setting, it may be found in the presence of a wise and experienced person who would offer guidance, attunement, and overall support -- someone who nurtures self-knowledge, not dependence on theories or books.
SOCIALIZATION & GUIDANCE PROCESSES
Parenting Patterns
During Foundation, the first step or task of parenting can be described as setting a "New Earth." During this period, couples merge life perspectives and purpose in a new relationship. This is could be called coming into a true state of marriage, and it takes place for quite some time after the official wedding ceremony. (One authority has stated that it takes about five years for a marriage to truly consummate.) As partners learn to share life and accommodate each other's unique personalities, they must be patient and not assume readiness for parenthood just because finances or some other minor factors are in order. Patience is required to sense what areas still need addressing in preparation for parenthood. Patience is required to sense when conception is proper. Lack of patience at this point could lead to bringing a child into a home that is not fully ready to receive it, thus setting off a series of missteps.
Responsibility
No matter who may be advising or guiding the couple at this stage, it is they themselves who are responsible for what has been put in motion toward having a child. It is important that the pre-parents learn to "tune in" to themselves and each other, so they can begin to sense the depth and duration of the responsibility they are taking on. This is especially so with the couple's first child. Such tuning in may lead to some sobering moments, and that could be perfect for a couple who thought that "making a baby" would simply be a nice idea!
Society and Community Involvement
When a couple decides to become parents, family and friends can play the vital role of giving acceptance and support. This can take many appropriate forms, but inordinate advice is not one of them. The couple is supposedly basing their decision on a firm foundation of love (not just for each other, but for a larger purpose), and they have made the decision in view of all the factors they can see: finances, home atmosphere, professional support, etc. So the main thing they need from family and friends is a welcoming for their decision and the offer of whatever support is considered mutually acceptable.
Although formal education is likely over for the couple, there is a great need for counseling and guidance during this period. This may be best kept outside the family so that there can be someone on hand with an objective view. Few people can fill this role presently, and couples often do not realize they are missing a vital element in the process when they do without this person. Clergy, birthing centers, and psychological counselors are often asked to take on this role, which may be fine. Whoever fills this role must be equipped with more than pamphlets and techniques and advice; this person must be adept at letting the Creative Process work through all the confusions, doubts, and fears that can arise. This person would represent a safe place where all the factors can come to rest, so that the couple can gain perspective and discover their own answers. This person, who in some cultures might be a grandparent or village elder, is taking on the task of offering attunement to the couple, and this will become more essential as the process unfolds through the next stage.