Here I sit, up in a tree
With my bow right next to me.
Waiting for a friggin deer
Guess I'll have another beer.
Another hour comes and goes
All I've seen is friggin does.
Waiting for that friggin buck
Got some more beer in my truck.
Climbed down the tree to get my beer
Wishing I would see more deer.
What a shock, there by my truck
Stood that big ole friggin buck.
Lop-side Lisa, thats his name
His two horns are not the same.
One is big and one is small.
Soon will hang upon my wall.
My palms got sweaty, my heart beat fast
I aimed my arrow and though "At Last."
I let it fly at the friggin buck
And the arrow hit my brand new truck.
The friggin buck just ran away
And I decided that I'd just stay.
But not to hunt, to drink my beer
In honor of that friggin deer.
The Rose
GUN
Now, here I am with my gun
Bow and arrow's are all done.
Still waiting to get that friggin deer
Still drinking all of my Busch Beer.
My gun is loaded and ready to fire
My butt is sore and my feet are tired.
But I'm a hunter and will get my deer
And when I do I'll drink my beer.
It's cold, it's wet, standing in this muck
Still waiting for that friggin buck.
I've seen some does, but they won't do
My ass is froze, my lips are blue.
All of a sudden, he did appear
There he stood, the friggin deer.
I aimed my gun at the friggin buck
And shot--and hit my friggin truck.
And now my truck with two holes in it
Is mounted on the wall bove where I sit.
And as for that ole friggin deer
Well--Next hunting season will soon be here.
The Rose
Now here I sit, deer season is done.
I'm not sure, but I think the deer won.
I'm not eating deer meat, I'm eating mush.
And as always, I'm still drinking my Busch.
There's always fishing, for fun you see.
But that's what hunting was supposed to be.
But that friggin deer just got me down
And now I feel like a big ole clown.
My truck has holes in it because of that deer.
And I've drank more than my share of beer.
But one day soon i'll get that big ole buck
And when I do I'll buy a new truck.
Until that day I'll drink my beer
And keep on dreaming about those deer.
Especially that one big ole buck
That made me ruin my brand new truck.
Ole Lop Side Lisa has lucked out this year
But wait till next year, you'll see that deer.
Hanging on my wall right next to my truck
And I'll say "**** you" big damned ole buck.
So you can see I'm not a very good loser
And yes I am a really big boozer.
November 15th 1991 will be the charm
I'll get Lop Side Lisa on the Buncich Farm.
The Rose
Here I am another year older,
And I think I'm a little bit bolder.
Yes, I'm the one with the luck,
That made me miss that friggin buck.
Now I'm back up in the tree
And Lo and behold what do I see.
That big ole buck with a lop-side grin
Yup, I'm pretty sure it's him.
He looked at me with an evil eye,
And shook his head and stared at the sky.
I aimed my bow at his friggin heart
then he lifted his tail and let a fart.
My arrow flew straight at that buck,
He watched it, then moved and it hit my truck.
I threw my bow into my truck
and said to myself I'm gonna get that buck.
I turned on the key, stepped on the gas
And aimed my truck for the friggin bucks ass.
Just before I was about to hit
The friggin buck took a shit.
The shit it flew, broke my windshield apart.
And then teh buck began to fart.
It stunk so bad I held my nose
And my truck ran into a pack of does.
I awoke in a hospital bed,
with a broken leg and a banged up head.
The doctor said on my side was luck
If that was so, why'd I miss that buck.
Another six weeks till my cast comes off
But after that no one will scoff.
That buck will be mine, once and for all
With his friggin head upon my wall.
The Rose
Randy's Hunting
Randy's hunting at the farm
Hoping Steph's his good luck charm.
Wanting to just shoot a buck
Crossed his fingers, wished for luck.
Randy went to climb a tree
Got all the way up and then had to pee.
Climbed back down to start his flow...
And what did appear but a really big doe.
He had to pee, but he wanted that doe
So he cut it short in middle of the flow.
He aimed his gun, got ready to shoot
when all of a sudden he had to toot.
He couldn't hold it, that stinky ole fart
And let it go, it ripped like a dart.
The doe looks up and wrinkled her nose
And Randy looked down as he wet his clothes.
The doe just laughed and took off in the trees
And Randy got mad and finished his pee.
Then packed up his gun and got in his truck
And decided he'd forget about killing a buck.
The Rose
Hunting Season is back for now
And Stephie might just hit a cow
cuz she don't have very good luck
Trying to shoot a doe or buck
She already shot an "alleged" buck
But as we all know hidden in her truck
Is a bottle or two of whiskey and beer
And after some drinks she sees those "deer"
She says she shot two times at that buck
And she tracked the blood in the muck
But once again he got away
And she will get him another day.
She said his rack was really big
But that was after she had a few swigs
So we all just go along with her
Then behind her back we say "yeah sure".
The Rose
2004
Once again it's that time of year
Time of us hunters to get our deer.
So here we go back to the farm
And this year I have a good luck charm.
My truck is loaded with shells and beer
Cuz this year I will get that deer.
I know ya'll know which one I mean
The one I see every nite in my dreams.
Some might say that their not dreams
Nightmare's make more sense it seems.
Because I've missed that friggin deer
Not just once but every year.
You know the deer that I'm talking about
He walks the fields like he has CLOUT.
He thinks that he has beaten me
But ya'll just watch and wait and see.
It's four a.m. and yes, I'm ready.
I've got my gun, my arms are steady.
I'm sittting way up in a tall tree
And lo and behold what do I see.
Here he comes... WOW what a buck.
I start sweating...just my luck.
He stops and snorts as though to say
"GO AHEAD... MAKE MY DAY"
Ever so easy, I raise my gun
I take my time--I'm having fun.
I aim the barrel at that friggin buck
I pull the trigger...damn the luck.
That friggin buck heard the shot
He jumped straight up like his feet were hot
The bullet went between his legs
Then hit a rock and ricocheted.
It hit a metal post near by
Then flew right past my left eye.
I thought I'd be real smart and duck
But once again, ya'll know my luck.
When I ducked I fell from the tree
When I woke up, what did I see?
That big ole buck, standing over me
He snorted again, then started to pee.
Now here I lay with a bump on my head
I really thought that I was dead.
And now I stink and smell like pee
And that ole buck was laughing at me.
I was sore and mad as hell
I put in the paper that I would sell
My hunting gun and my ole truck
Another year gone and still NO BUCK!!!
The Rose
Nov. 2005
It's hunting time and there they go
Bright and early, lot's of snow
Jim is there, waiting to see
Boom, he shot and Killed BAMBI.
The friggin thing she is so small.
He can't hang that one on the wall.
He turns and looks and sees another
And thinks that it might be Bambi's Mother.
He aims and fires cuz she sure looks big.
The bullet hits, she falls like a twig.
He really wishes now that he missed her
Cuz now he sees he killed Bambi's SISTER.
He goes into the house right after that
and with a drink in hand he sat
and shook his head with great dismay
and said "Boy, I've had a friggin bad day."
The next one I shoot with any luck
I hope will be the biggest buck
and then all of them will see
I don't just shoot and kill Bambi's.
The Rose