Title: The Misadventures of Red Riding Hood: A Furry Love Story Author: Foxhunt2blue Summary: A twisted take on Red Riding Hood... Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Spike/Xander Disclaimer: I don't own the boys---Joss does. *sniffle* Oh, yes...the Brothers Grimm are rolling in their graves right now. Feedback: Yes...pwease *flutters lashes* E-Mail: foxhunter2blue@peoplepc.com Author's Note: This was written for Willa's Fractured Fairytale Ficathon. Yeah it's extremely late; yeah I'm a slowis pokis. *sigh* It was written per darkhaven's request below. This is my first attempt at Spander so be kind. There is hot sex, but it's done with humor that I hope works for you darkhaven. **** Title of fairy tale/folk tale/myth/legend: Little Red Riding Hood Pairing and/or characters you want: Spike/Xander Rating desired: NC-17 Three things you want to see: Spike in the wolf role; a happy ending; Xander as either Red or the woodcutter, I don’t mind which. Two things you don't want to see: clumsy!dumb!Xander; evil!Angel. **** Oh and the final word count was over 4,000 & all I had to have was a 1,000. I knew I was long winded! LOL **** Slinking through the trees ducking from shadow to shadow the blonde wolf watched with narrow sapphire eyes. Spike wasn't your typical wolf he was a shape shifter and he had no desire to be here waiting for that annoying little bitch Red Riding Hood or Angel as his friends called him. "Bloody Mr. Perfection..." Spike settled against a tree trunk lighting up a fag. "Prancing about the sodding woods as if he owns 'em." The other wolves had dared him to take out Red. "Bunch of whiny..." he grumbled as he caught a whiff of old Red coming down the path. "How's a wolf supposed to hunt in peace with a do-gooder like that hanging about." Shifting into his wolf form he ran through the trees heading straight to where he knew Red was going. Every Sunday straight to Granny Darla's house and he always took the same path. Spike was pretty sure he wasn't there just to have cookies and milk. Darla wasn't really a grandmother, well there was that crazy bint, Drusilla, he thought as a hunched down in the bushes outside the back door. Someone had to make sure she didn't wander off with her dolly and get eaten by the wolves. The title granny only referred to Darla's age. It was a well known fact that she was a witch or perhaps a vamp. Most of the denizens of the woods agreed on one thing though---the bitch had been around forever. Despite the mumbled gossip amongst his pack about Red's innocence and purity Spike knew better. Old Red was a bloody whore if there ever was one, without a doubt. Spike had been bored one night so he decided to do a bit of spying and what to his wandering eyes did appear. It sure and the bloody hell hadn't been eight tiny reindeer. There was sweet innocent Red---Angel of the woods--- getting his knob thoroughly polished by Granny Darla. Not only that, but Spike had discovered what Darla truly was, a vampire---fangs and all. Angel-boy was willingly giving himself to a bloodsucker once a week just to get a through shagging. Now wasn't that a hoot. Good-doer his sodding arse, Spike thought. A shudder ran through Spike at the memory of that night. Sodding perverts, he thought, wish I could have scrubbed my eyeballs after that. It was a shame really Angel was a fine looking man, but he preferred some immortal bint to a beautiful wolf. That was okay though, Spike had his eye on someone far more manly. Xander, the woodsman. The man was tall, broad shouldered, but smaller than Angel. Besides he made red and black plaid look good. Spike sighed a tiny smile curling at the corners of his mouth. If the rest of his pack knew that they'd make fun of him nine ways from Sunday, then they'd more than likely make him into their next meal. The woodsman was the wolves greatest enemy. Not only did he thin out the forest---the wolves playground- --but he'd been known to kill a few of theem. Actually Xander wore a heavy coat in winter made of the skins of his wolf victims. You just did not pine over your enemy and you sure and the bloody hell didn't want him to shag you senseless. There were a few wolves who thought he spent far too much time near Xander. Of course Spike wasn't a pure blooded wolf, so frankly, after years of abuse by the pack he could have cared less. So here Spike was defending his questionable ethics. He was drawn from his thoughts by the appearance of Drusilla, the crazed bint, slipping out the back door as she did each Sunday. She always left shortly before Red's arrival. Darla couldn't have her insane charge spreading the truth about her little whore about the forest after all. Dru would go down the road a bit and visit with that bratty bitch Goldilocks. Poor damn bears, Spike thought as he shook his head. They never were right after that nutter Goldilocks took over their cottage. Standing Spike reached inside his coat pulling out a rolled up length of scarlet wool, shook it out , and then wrapped it around him as a makeshift cloak. With a wicked grin he cleared his throat and knocked at the door. Unbeknownst to Spike a pair of dark eyes watched from the forest. *** Xander had been keeping an eye on this particular wolf for sometime now. He'd been quiet surprised to discover that the rumors of a unique wolf running with the local pack were quiet true. And his first glimpse of Spike had captured his attention completely. It had been late at night as he was trudging home from the forest. He'd reached the half-way mark---Enchanted Creek---when he'd seen the amazing creature. A wolf that was completely silver white and he'd been shocked into stillness as he had watched the creature drink from the clear burbling water. Mere moments after he'd discovered the wolf a soft breeze had picked up. The creature had stopped drinking to glance up with the most amazing sapphire eyes sniffing the air, and then to Xander's amazement the wolf changed from a wolf into a man. A man, Xander thought, but not just any man. He was beautiful, one could almost say ethereal in his appearance. He had stood there staring into the darkness as if he knew Xander were there. Xander stared right back taking in every detail. Slender pale body, lean and muscular very much like a dancer, a head of silver white curls, and those amazing eyes. A tiny smile had quirked the wolf-man's lips, then he was gone. A soft howl had echoed through the midnight forest as he vanished. Xander shook himself back to the present and reached down adjusting his crotch. "This is just wrong..." he whispered to himself. "I'm a woodsman...a manly man woodsman who kills wolves and chops down trees." His gaze drifted back to Granny Darla's cottage and he watched as the door opened. *** "Who is it? Could it be my dear boy?" Spike suppressed a chuckle, then cleared his throat. "Yes, dear Granny Darla it's me your dear boy." "Do come in Red. I am waiting in the bedroom." Came the muffled reply. Opening the door Spike sauntered into the cottage with a smugness that would have done any full-blooded wolf proud. He took in the neatly arranged dark velvet furnishings, the well organized tomes of magic, and the various bottles and baskets. Well, what do you know, he thought, the immortal bitch wasn't just a vamp, but a sorceress as well. He reached the bedroom just as 'Granny' Darla appeared in the door---all golden curls and pursed scarlet lips. With lightening speed Spike dropped the cloak and pulled a stake from his duster. "Surprise Granny!" That's exactly what was in those furious blue eyes at the moment 'Granny' Darla exploded in a swirl of dust. "Bloody stupid vampire..." Spike snorted as he spit vamp-dust out in disgust. *** A few moments later Red Riding Hood a.k.a. Granny Darla's unsuspecting man-whore, Angel, bounced up to the door. Whistling softly he knocked at the door, then adjusted himself in his trousers. "Who is it? Could it be my dear boy?" Angel grinned lustfully, then answered in a sweet innocent voice. "Yes, dear Granny Darla it's me your dear boy." "Do come in Red. I am waiting in the bedroom." Practically running Angel slammed the door behind him. He really did wish Darla would allow him more than one visit a week. "Darla?" "Yes, dear boy...in here." Came the muffled reply. Parting the drapes Angel came into the bedroom dropping the basket he was carrying next to the door. "I brought you the usual." He answered moving to the curtain draped bed, his brow furrowing. "You sound so strange Darla." "Just a bit to much mandrake punch...deepens the voice." "Oh..." Angel chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip as he peered between the heavy drapes. "Your ears look funny." "The better to hear your screams of passion with, dear boy." He leaned closer still not sure what to make of this new 'game'. Darla was an odd bird even for a vampire. Cocking his head he grinned as he decided to go along with the game. "How very big your eyes look, Granny Darla." He chuckled. "The better to see your exquisite cock with, my dear boy." Creeping onto the bed Angel smiled wide as he caught a glimpse of sharp incisors. "What very big teeth you have, Granny Darla..." he growled softly. "The better to bite your bleedin' cock off!" Granny growled. Angel sat up in shock. "What?!" "You heard me you big ponce!" Spike leapt from beneath the covers with a vicious growl as he shifted completely into his wolf form. He hit Angel hard with his forepaws taking them both off the bed in a wild tumble of arms, legs, paws, and snout. Letting out a shrill scream Angel grabbed the nearest blunt instrument and hit Spike over the snout making a run for the door. *** Sitting beneath a tree Xander had began to doze off when all hell broke loose in Granny Darla's cottage. A loud series of decidedly 'unmanly' screams echoed through the trees as he stood grabbing his axe and headed towards the cottage. A woman in trouble, he thought. To his utter surprise he saw Red Riding Hood run by him---legs and arms rotating wildly---with a silver white streak on his tail. "What the hell?!" Xander yelped as he was nearly trampled. Taking after Red and the silvery blur Xander ran as fast as he could. Ahead of him he could here Red's girlie screams, high pitched enough to make a man's ears bleed. Now this was an interesting development, Xander thought as he ducked beneath low hanging branches and around trees. *** Angel hit the clearing in a cloud of dust, his once perfectly pressed scarlet cloak flying out behind him in tatters. Looking around with terrified eyes, he spotted a low hanging branch and leapt up. As he pulled himself up into the tree he felt a sharp mouthful of fangs ghost across his quivering ass. "ARRRGH!!!" A cool breeze caressed his ass as the teeth ripped the seat of his trousers out leaving him bare as the day he'd been born. "HELLLP!!!" Angel squealed as he clambered higher into the tree. "Get down here you bleedin' ponce!" Spike snarled as he spit out a mouth full of Armani. "How am I suppose to eat you when you're in a sodding tree?" *** Xander was breathing hard and his hair was in his face when he finally made it to the clearing. Axe raised high, muscles straining against his plaid wool shirt, he paused and blinked. Then blinked again. The sight he saw was both confusing and profoundly hilarious. He frankly didn't know whether to attack or laugh his ass off. Red was high in a tree---arms and legs wrapped tightly around the trunk---his ass bare and shining like the full moon. Beneath him the wolf paced in circles, the shreds of both Red's cloak and the seat of his trousers scattered on the bare ground. The wolf was grumbling something about 'pansy-arsed ponces' and Red was shrieking in terror. At first it was a soft bubble in the pit of his stomach, then it rose causing his body to tremble. Mere seconds later Xander Harris---heroic woodsman, manly man--- was dropping to his knees laughing hysterically. He clutched his axe to his chest and gasped for air as he rolled about on the ground, tears streaking his face. "What the bloody hell is so funny you stupid bugger?!'" Spike growled turning on the laughing woodsman. Pointing at Angel, he began to hiccup out a laughter choked reply. "H...h...him..." another howl of laughter rang through the clearing. Angel pouted from his perch in the tree. "This is not funny. He wants to eat me!" Angel shrieked. Sniffling Xander sat up wiping at his eyes and met the silvery white wolf's intense sapphire gaze. "Why would you want to do that?" He swallowed back another laugh. Spike padded up to Xander planting himself down mere inches from the woodsman's nose. "You got something better for me to eat?" He cocked his head, his rear paw scratching at one ear. "Depends." Xander sobered up. "On what, pet?" Spike watched Xander with narrowed eyes. "On if you're who...or what...I think you are." "Hey! He's a wolf...you kill wolves!!" Angel yelled from his perch. "He wants to eat me!" "SHUT UP!!!" The woodsman and wolf both growled at the same time. "Your the woodsman...the hero..." Angel stuttered in disbelief, "...you're suppose to save me. Then I'll be forever grateful." He batted his eyes seductively. Xander rolled his eyes as Spike covered his with his front paws, snout buried in the grass. "What?!" "SHUT UP!!" A rock shot through the air in a perfect arc as Xander watched. Said rock, beaning Angel between the eyes. His eyes rolled up in his head and he fell out of the tree with a thud. "Now where were we, luv?" Xander turned a look of awe on his face to see---sitting in front of him---not a wolf, but a man. The same beautiful man he'd seen that long ago night. "Who...what are you?" "Name's Spike...and you're Xander." Amused eyes studied him. "How do you know who I am?" Xander found himself leaning closer to the silvery white-haired man. "All the creatures here in the Deep Dark Woods know who you are." Spike reached inside his leather duster pulling out a crumple pack of smokes. "Fag?" He raised his brow. Xander shook his head, yet reached out and grabbed the pack from Spike. "Now what's all th..." Spike's annoyed comment was cut off by Xander's full ripe lips claiming his mouth. It was exactly how he thought it would be. Spike parted his lips as Xander's tongue slid along them. Moaning softly he reached up to tangle his slender hands into the lush dark locks of silk that tumbled around Xander's face. For innumerable minutes their tongues tangled with one another, both men rearing up on the knees, then they parted panting for air. "You're so fucking beautiful..." Xander moaned as he pushed Spike down on the grass, "...especially in moonlight." "Was right then...now wasn't I..." Spike whimpered as Xander licked along the sharp angle of his cheekbone. "Saw me down...bloody hell...by Enchanted Creek." "Yep..." Xander clawed at Spike's clothes, ripping open his tee shirt, and lowering his mouth to one pale dusky nipple. The touch of Xander's warm wet lips caused Spike to arch his back up from the ground and moan softly. "Do me..." Lifting his head---shaggy locks falling into his dark chocolate eyes---Xander licked his lips seductively and grinned. "Did you say...?" Spike growled in frustration. "Well what about little Red over there?" Xander chuckled tilting his head towards Angel. "Fuck him!" "Oh...now you want me to fuck him?" Another frustrated growl escaped Spike's parted lips. "You know that ain't what I bloody well meant." Xander snorted. "Testy wolfie." "Horny wolfie is more like it." Spike pushed his hips up grinding his denim-covered erection against Xander's. "Sweet mother of Jesus..." Xander hissed as his hands moved between their bodies, fingers clawing at the button fly of Spike's jeans. "Yeah..." he gasped as he released Spike's swollen cock from its confines. "Screw Red." Roughly, he yanked down Spike's jeans making quick work of the wadded denim as well as his boots. Tossing the tangled mess to the side he reared up on his knees and admired the view. Spike's body was just as he remembered from that night. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, and hips, all silky moonlight pale skin stretched over taunt lean muscle. A soft downy trail of slightly darker hair ran from his navel to end in a nest of dark curls surrounding the most beautiful cock he'd every seen. His skin only looked paler against the dark leather of his duster, spread out beneath him, falling loosely around his shoulders as he pushed up on his elbows. His sapphire eyes glittered in the dim light filtering through the canopy of thick green leaves above as his lips curled into a seductive smirk. "Gonna stare all night, luv." His voice was rough with need. "Not a chance..." Xander whispered as he stripped off his shirt, "...though it's tempting." Squirming he removed his own jeans and boots, then knee walked to where Spike lay. "More tempting to be the woodsman I am." Spike raised a brow. "Woodsman?" An almost evil spark lit up Xander's dark eyes. "You know...conquer the wolf and all." A snort came from the direction of the trees. "I can't believe this. Look at you two." The two soon to be lovers turned to see Red a.k.a. Angel sitting up, rubbing the egg sized knot between his dark eyes. He snorted again as he stood and rubbed his naked ass with a frown. "I'd like to know which of you two horny bastards is going to pay for my Armani slacks. That was fine Italian wool!" Angel snarled. Spike pursed his lips and raised one dark brow. "Fine Italian wool my arse. I'll be scrubbing the taste of that sodding shit out of my mouth for the next two weeks." As if to prove his point he reached up and pulled a frayed piece of the said material from between his teeth. Rolling his eyes Xander snarled at Red. "Just because you can't seem to keep your pants in one piece don't expect us to pay for them." Another rock flew through the air hitting Angel in the shoulder. "Hey! That goddamn rock throwing peroxide wolf of yours needs to get some manners. If he doesn't I'm going to be going home in a new pair of wolf trousers." By this time, Xander was about as close to the edge as he could get. His cock was screaming to be buried in his wolf's tight adorable ass and he didn't have time to be lolly gagging about with Red. He stood in all his naked glory and stormed across the clearing with a growl. "Look you pathetic vampire loving man-whore...do you see this?" Xander pointed down at his erection. "Do you see this? Cause if you do...you know what I would rather be doing right now." Angel snorted. "Is that all you got? I could give your wolf more." "Oh, really you red-hood wearing pansy?" Spike snarked from his casual seat on the ground. "I saw what you had and it didn't even impress Granny Darla." Huffing Angel puffed out his chest in a show of maximum testosterone. If he'd been a rooster, his tail feathers would have been ruffled big time. "You have your nerve you poor excuse for a Cockney wolf! I should skin your tight little ass right now. Have me a new Spike-suit to wear." Xander by this time was tired of the argument. All he wanted to do was have some luscious wolf loving, then take his new pet home. Drawing back his fist, he let fly and Angel hit the ground with an 'OOF'. "I am sooo...done with this argument." Xander growled. "If you know what's good for you Red..." he bent down picking up his axe, "...you'll take your Armani wearing, red hooded ass, and turn around right now and start running. Oh, and by the way I'd suggest you keep going until you reach Happily Ever After town." Angel growled as he got to his feet. Spike chuckled as he stroked himself. Xander drew back his axe with a disgusted, furious roar. Suddenly was Angel was gone, only a cloud of dust remaining, as he shrieked in terror with Xander close on his heels. The denizens of the Deep Dark Woods watched in shock as Red minus the seat of his pants fled through the trees. A completely naked woodsman hot on his tail, axe raised above his head, and an impressive erection bobbing in the wind. In the distance, the howl of Spike's laughter rose on the night wind. "Faster...peaches! Faster!" Spike howled. The only answer was a wild scream that trailed off as Red dove through the brush and rolled ass over apples into an open field. "And don't come back Red! Do you hear me?! Or I'll be wearing me a new Angel-suit!!" Xander stood at the edge of the woods panting. Well now that's done, he thought, with an evil grin. **** By the time Xander reached the clearing, Spike was lost in a fit of laughter that sounded very much like howls. He was curled in a tight ball on his duster so completely lost in his own amusement he'd lost control. His ears were drawn back and pointed, a light dusting of silvery hair trailing down his spine and to Xander's shock a fluffy silver white tail curled around him. Standing there in the moonlit shadows, Xander was mesmerized by that twitching tail. Instead of turning, him off it only made him harder. "Hey, wolfie." Xander whispered. The laughter stopped as Spike sat up his eyes glittering. "Now that's something I never thought I'd see, luv. A woodsman sporting wood while chasing an angel." "Hmmm...Spike?" "Yeah?" "Never thought I'd be turned on by a tail." Xander tilted his head towards the still twitching tail. "Blimey!" Eyes widening Spike's cheeks began to pinken, but his cock seemed to harden even more. "Sorry about that mate." Xander moved to where Spike sat on the ground looking every bit the magical creature he was---ethereal and beautiful. "Don't be..." Xander dropped his axe, falling to his knees and his voice husky. "I kinda like the look." "Do you now?" "Ohhh...yeah..." Spike's lips curled up in a seductive smile; tiny pointed teeth just visible beneath his full lips. "Got a furry fetish?" "Maybe." Xander leaned forward his lips claiming Spike's in a demanding, passionate kiss. By the time he pulled back, they were both out of breath. The only sound was their heavy breathing and the swoosh of Spike's twitching tail. "Want me to keep it?" "Yeah." Laying back Spike spread his thighs as Xander settled between them with a soft groan. Xander reached out tracing a finger along Spike's pointed ears, down his sharp cheekbones, and down to his lips. He smiled as Spike sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, suckling as his gaze locked with his. Releasing them, Spike smiled. "Need a little lube, luv." Xander reached down between Spike's cheeks, his fingertips circling the tight opening, and smiled. "Want to fuck you so bad wolfie." Moaning Spike shifted pushing back against the probing fingers. "Yeah...me, too." He whimpered, then growled. Pushing his fingers forward Xander growled as the tight muscle relaxed and gave way allowing him access to the warm, velvet channel beyond. Spike's head fell back and his soft growls became a howl. Slowly Xander pumped and twisted his fingers as he reached down with his other hand and began pumping Spike's rock hard erection. His thumb glided over the leaking pre- cum, slicking down along the pulsing vein beneath. "So fucking beautiful..." Xander growled, his voice guttural like a wild beast. "Then..." Spike snarled, "...do it, luv. Want you in me..." Shifting Xander released Spike's cock, pulling his fingers from the tightness that he wanted to claim for his own. With a faint snarl of need, he grasped Spike's hips yanking him up so his ass was lined up with his throbbing cock. "Ready, wolfie?" "Damn...bloody hell...get on with it." The tip of Spike's tail twitched. Laughing Xander flipped him over, yanking him up on his knees, and then pushed forward. Spike's tail swished, his back bowed, and he threw his head back howling as Xander's thick cock pierced him. One swift thrust and he was filled completely. "Now..." Spike whimpered. "Now what?" Xander moaned breathlessly. "Move you sodding git!" Chuckling Xander began to pump his hips slowly, and then faster until he was pounding into the tightest place his cock had ever had the pleasure of being. Reaching beneath Spike his hand teased and twisted his nipples drawing soft animal cries from deep in Spike's gut. Slowly his hand trailed down to cup and squeeze his balls, then back up to stroke the burning hot length of him. "How's that wolfie? Like it when I fuck you hard?" "Yes..." Spike hissed. Squeezing Spike roughly Xander began to strip his cock in time with his desperate thrusts. "So tight...so hot...Jesus and that tail..." Xander panted as his hand tightened even harder on the pulsing flesh in his grip. "Gonna come...bloody hell!" Spike howled as his cock exploded over Xander's fist, his ass clenching around Xander's pounding cock. A few seconds later Xander let out an echoing howl as he slammed deep into Spike's ass and exploded with his own orgasm. Panting Xander fell down taking Spike with him, rolling to his side. As his cock slipped from Spike's ass, Spike rolled over to face him. Xander giggled breathlessly as Spike's twitching tail curled around his waist as he snuggled into his chest. "Bloody fantastic..." Spike moaned. "Guess I do have a furry fetish." "I'd bloody well say so..." Spike chuckled licking at Xander's nipple. "So what now?" Xander asked. "Sleep..." came the mumbled reply. "Here?" "Course." "Okay, then." Xander chuckled. There was a moment of silence, as they lay there curled around one another on the forest floor. Gently Xander kissed Spike's sweat tangled silver white curls. "You happy wolfie?" Spike opened one shimmering sapphire eye and chuckled. "Hey it might not be Happily Ever After town, but it's a right good start." The End