This is a little fic I wrote for a ficathon some time ago and never posted around. 
Also, wanted to take this opportunity to announce my shiny new archive website- 
http://salustra.vague-disclaimer.org/ 
AUTHORS: Salustra 
E-MAIL: Salustra: goddess_salustra@juno.com 
Title: Soapdish 
Pairing: Spike/ Angel (Liam/William human AU) 
Rating: Adults only. (Sorry, the smut fairy just wouldn't come) 
Summary: Done for the Loving Angel 2005 Valentine's Day ficathon. The assignment- 
for bittersweet_art, AU, soap opera actors, comedy smut, NC-17. Couldn't manage the 
NC-17. 
Disclaimer: I don't own Spike, Angel, or anything else from ME... though I really 
wish I could. 
Distribution: Various lists, Wierd Romance Yahoo Group- 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WierdRomance ; 
My livejournal - http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=salustra ; and the 
website Weird Romances- http://www.salustra.vague-disclaimer.org .
Feedback: Please? E-mail to goddess_salustra@juno.com
Length: 1862 words. 



Liam sits down and picks up his pages for the next day. Time to learn the scenes. 
His mind works almost automatically as he reads the words, learning them, absorbing 
them, with an ease born of innate gift and long practice. His eyes widen as he hits 
a scene, and he picks up the phone and dials, waiting for an answer. 

"Mmmmphrgr?" A muffled voice answers on the other end. 

"Wesley! What the hell is with this new doctor swooping in and competing with me for 
chief of staff? This new, *younger* doctor? I've paid my dues, I've waited years, 
I'm supposed to be the main hunk now. I'm the star of Doctors' Desires. I don't need 
any competition!" 

Wesley shakes himself awake. Heaven preserve him from soap opera divas, both male 
and female. "Now, now, Liam, you're still our star. But the network demanded a new 
face." He speaks soothingly, like to a cranky three-year-old. 

"Oh, right, yeah. If it's just the network, Wesley, why does he kiss Anne? I mean, 
Buffy is supposed to be *Angel's* love interest. And what the hell kinda name is 
Spike for a doctor anyway?" 

Wesley sighs. "All right, you have me there. He's a friend of Anne's. She went to 
the network and demanded a new love interest to spark her storyline. You know how 
she is." 

Liam sighs noisily. "Yeah, I know. Under self-centered in the dictionary, you'll 
find her picture. Ok, Wes, go on back to sleep. See you tomorrow." 

"It is tomorrow," Wesley grumbles. "But I'll see you on the set." 

"Yeah, right. Sorry Wes." Liam hangs up the phone and reads over the pages, learning 
his lines, and then falling into his bed for far too little sleep. 

Next morning he drags onto the set. He's sitting on a make-up chair when the newcomer 
walks in. Liam growls almost unconsciously. Blonde, slender, well-muscled, *waaaay* 
too pretty for a man. He settles into the chair next to Liam. No, 'settles' is the 
wrong word. He drapes himself like a great lazy cat and smiles over at Liam. He puts 
out an almost delicate hand, and in a warm British accent says, "William Foster. I'm 
playin' Spike." He fixes bright blue eyes on Liam. 

Liam is momentarily stunned by those eyes. Then he recovers, extending his own large 
strong hand to envelop William's. "Liam O'Donnell. I'm the star." He gives a firm 
grip and an intimidating stare. 

William's answering smile is welcoming and predatory all at once. "Of course you are. 
I've seen the show. Bloody brilliant work you do." 

Liam is not fooled by the pretty smile. But he takes the obligatory ass-kissing with 
leonine grace. "Thank you. So, first time on a soap?" 

"Yeah. Was doin' some stage work in London before this. But Anne put in a good word 
for me and 'ere I am." 

Liam keeps any sign of disturbance at Anne's name carefully off his face. He hadn't 
expected William to admit it so readily. "Anne's a friend of yours?" 

"Yeah. Known her since forever. Met 'er when she was doin' that dreadful little 
horror flick. I was an extra." 

Liam nods, thinking to himself. Of course. Anne's obligatory movie screw. Well, he 
certainly was pretty enough. He must have been something special for her to keep in 
touch with him all this time. "Well, welcome to our little family." 

"Thanks. Lookin' forward t'workin' with you." William submits to the attentions of 
the make-up person with uncommon grace, as opposed to Liam's only shifting and 
sullen growling. 

A few minutes later, a blonde slender figure bursts into the room and wraps arms 
around William's neck. "Willie!" She squeals. "Why didn't you come by my dressing 
room?" 

William smiles, warmly but not overly sincerely. "Anne. M'just the new boy, no need 
to disturb the star." 

Anne giggles. "Don't be silly, Willie. You can always come see me. Not like you 
haven't already seen me naked. Or like you'd care if you did." 

Liam raises an internal eyebrow at this. So maybe not one of her boytoys. Well, well, 
well. He scans William appreciatively and unobtrusively. This has possibilities. 

"Thanks again for the good word, Anne. Theater work is great, but m'gettin' to the 
age where I need a decent paycheck too." 

"No problem. The network said they were getting me a new love interest, and I wanted 
the prettiest man I knew for it. And that's you." Anne giggles. 

Liam rolls his eyes and suppresses a grunt. Yeah, the network said. 

"Ta, luv," William replies. He gently moves her aside. "M'due on the set." 

Anne pouts a little. "But I wanna talk to you!" She sighs. "Ok, see you later." 

William moves away, and Anne turns to Liam. She grins wickedly. "How do you like your 
new competition? Much prettier than you. And *he's* in shape." Anne pokes a finger 
at Liam's belly. 

Liam snorts, even as he winces internally at her little poke. He's sensitive about 
his current figure. Not enough work-out time recently by far. "Prettier than *you*, 
too, Anne. Sure you want a love interest that outdoes you in the looks department?" 

"Oh, Liam, you're just a jealous pig. And worried that the pretty new boy is going 
to steal all your fans. You're not getting any younger, you know." 

Liam sighs. He could just curse himself daily for feigning interest in this 
brainless vapid little thing long enough to secure her support for his career. She 
never let him forget it. "I can hold my own just fine, Anne, don't worry your cute 
little head about it." 

She giggles. "Whatever you say, *An-gel*." She moves off towards the door. "You 
going to watch him kiss me today?" 

Liam sighs. "Yeah, sure Anne. I'm sure he's a *great* kisser." 

A little while later Liam is on the set, sitting on his chair, watching William and 
Anne in their scene together. 

"Buffy," William says, staring into Anne's eyes. "It's been so long. I thought..." 

"Yes, Spike?" Anne asks breathlessly. 

"I thought there was nothing between us anymore. But now that I see you, I just can't 
resist." William moves in closer, pulling Anne into his arms and slowly moving in 
for a long, scorchingly-hot kiss. Several members of the cast and crew watching fan 
themselves silently as they watch them. 

Anne gasps for breath as she pulls back from the kiss. As the scene ends, William 
walks right by Liam. 

"Looked like a good kiss," Liam manages. 

William looks up with an evil little grin, and almost purrs in a seductive voice. 
"Wouldn't you like t'know yourself?" And then he brushes lightly against Liam and 
moves away. 

The rest of the day was spent like that. William taking every opportunity of 
touching Liam, teasing him, pulling his chain. 

Last scene of the day. It's a confrontation between Angel and Spike.

"I don't know who you think you are, Spike, or whatever you call yourself, but *I'm* 
going to be the next chief of staff. I've put in the time, and this position is 
mine." 

William chuckles. "My, my, my, who's the puffed-up manly man then? Think you c'n 
intimidate me into backin' off, Angel? Think just because you've all but marked your 
territory like a tomcat that m'gonna just roll over for you? Well m'not. The board 
invited me 'ere, obviously, because they 'ave some concerns about your fitness for 
the position. So you'll just 'ave t'get used t'me. M'not going anywhere." 

Liam all but growls. "Speaking of territory, I'd appreciate it if you kept your 
hands and your lips to yourself where my girlfriend is concerned." 

William smirks. "Yeah, well, m'not goin' t'back off there just because you say so 
either. If you can't 'old on to 'er, s'not my lookout." 

Liam snaps then. It's not in the script but he simply cannot stop himself. He rushes 
and grabs William, shoving him against the wall by his shoulders, his face almost 
kissing-close. "Back off, Blondie." 

William smirks. "Temper, temper. Why Angel, I didn't know you cared." 

"And CUT!" The director calls out. "You guys just ad-libbing now?" 

Liam blushes and turns his head, letting go of William. "Sorry Giles. Should we do 
it again?" 

Giles chuckles. "Hell no, it's the best scene in ages. I'm going to go speak with 
the writers. That's a wrap for the day, everyone. See you Monday." 

William smiles back at Liam. "Would been better if you kissed me like I c'n see you 
wanted to." He reaches over and slides a piece of paper into Liam's pocket, then 
glides past him. 

Liam stands stunned for a minute, then pulls out the piece of paper. It's an 
address. Shit, he thinks. Fucking cocky bastard. But then his fingers tingle with 
the warmth of William's shoulders, the feel of holding him against that wall. 

A few hours later, he is knocking on an apartment door. William comes to the door, 
clad only in a silk kimono and boxer shorts. "Hoped you'd come," William purrs. 
"C'mon in." 

Liam walks in the door, holding out a bottle of really good aged Irish whiskey. "I 
come bearing gifts." 

William takes the bottle and heads over to the bar, pulling out two cut crystal 
glasses. "Make yourself comfortable. On the rocks or straight up?" 

Liam settles onto the plush couch, toeing off his shoes. "With a name like Liam, 
what do you think?" 

William laughs. "Nothing to water it down, then." He pours a good amount into each 
glass and carries them over, handing one to Liam. 

Liam takes the glass, shivering just a little as William makes sure to brush fingers
with him during the transfer. "So why the long tease today? Why the address in my 
pocket?"

William sits down, his knees only inches from Liam's. "You *'ave* looked in a mirror 
lately, right?" He chuckles. "Besides, you're precisely my type. Tall, dark, 
'andsome, and dominant. You were wantin' t'throw me against the wall within a minute 
after meetin' me, I could tell. Figured I'd give you the chance, see where it leads." 

Liam tosses back the drink and takes the glass out of William's hand, setting both 
glasses on the coffee table. He pushes William back on the couch, grabbing his arms 
and holding them over his head. "Like this?" He growls. "Is this what you wanted?" 

William arches against Liam. "Ohhh yeah." 

Liam feels that silk against him, and the warm soft skin of William's chest. He can 
smell him, like whiskey and jasmine. He captures his lips, roughly, forcefully, even 
as he grinds a bit against him. He's hardening quickly himself, feeling that body 
under him, and he can feel William's own hardness in response. 

William moans, surrendering into the kiss, writhing his body a bit against Liam's. 
Liam tastes and feels as good as he imagined. He wants him now, so very much. 

Liam sits back and grins. "I'll have to thank Anne when I see her Monday." He stands 
up and scoops William into his arms, heading back for the bedroom. "Got any rope?" 

William chuckles as he is carried off. "Ohhh yeah. Definitely my kind of man." 




The End