TITLE: Sit And Listen To The Rain AUTHOR: Ragna (WritingGoddess@aol.com, RaverRagna@excite.com) RATING: PG. CLASSIFICATION: Partly Buffy POV, Buffy/Spike (as William). SUMMARY: Spike got split by Toth instead of Xander. SPOILERS: AU after beginning of "The Replacement." DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know. PREVIOUS PARTS/ARCHIVED AT: http://www.allslaynoplay.net/slayercommathe DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them. Various friends of mine are holding characters hostage. You may see them by appointment only. Lyrics are to Melissa Etheridge's "I Want To Come Over." FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't care if it's onlist or not, but I prefer offlist since I have quite a few lists on No Mail. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Answers to ::deep breath:: Adam's challenge (#155), Louraine's challenge (#231) and Improv #47 (use a Ryan Adam's song title for the fic title). DEDICATED: To all those who were unhappy with last season. ***** The house was a disaster. Buffy sat, taking it all in. Her mother's watch with the broken band. The purple grape juice stain on the carpet. The muddy footprints on the wall and the ceiling. The candle on top of the smashed TV. She heard the rain starting to pound on the roof, but other than that, it was silent. The CD player still looked like it worked. She didn't want silence right now; she needed something, some sound, to remind her that life went on. She pushed the open button, checked the CD, put it back in and pressed play. She forwarded it a bit, then waited. // I know you're home You left your light on You know I'm here The night is thin I know you're alone I watched the car leave Your lover is gone Let me in \\ She went into the kitchen, which was just as bad as the living room, and looked at the freezer. The door had been ripped off, but the ice cream was still in it. It was half melted, but ice cream was ice cream was ice cream. She knelt down, searching the floor covered with scattered silverware for a spoon. Hell, even a straw would have been okay, since the ice cream was half liquefied. She just sat there, holding the ice cream, her back against the dangling fridge door, and began to cry. *** It had all started when that Toth demon had arrived. There had been the fight in the junkyard, and supposedly everyone walked away in one piece. Supposedly everything was okay. It stayed so until Spike showed up the next evening. He looked different. He looked quieter. And he asked to be called William. Giles did the research bit, and found out everything there was about the Toth demon. And that was when we found out that if we killed one, we killed the other. If this was the softer side of Spike, I was very afraid to see his other half. And then I did. Three days later, on a routine patrol in one of the graveyards, came Spike. I could tell it was Spike and not William because he had a sneer on his face and blood on his mouth. He dropped the woman he was feeding on, and then I knew: he was cruel, he was savage. And he was unchipped. And I couldn't dust him on the spot. See, I *liked* his other side. William was so kind and so gentle. He listened when I talked. He never said anything hurtful about Riley. Even though he wasn't a great fighter, he was intelligent, and he was able to come up with great strategies. As much as it hurt, I turned and walked away from the gory scene in the graveyard. Time passed, but Spike laid low. Riley left, and William was there with a comforting shoulder. I grew to rely on William even more when Mom died, and maybe that was a mistake. Maybe that was the fatal flaw in my life. And still Spike laid low. There was the whole mess with Glorificus and Dawn, and I kept waiting for Spike to join her, to make me have to kill him and lose William in the process. We won, at the cost of my life. I went to heaven. I got pulled back to Earth. And William was there, being my comfort. And Spike wasn't, staying in shadows. Willow was in love with Tara. She was always doing romantic little things for her. Breakfast in bed, making special baths, being there. And Tara wanted to repay her. Tara arranged for a commitment ceremony. Willow was psyched. I mean, she couldn't stop talking about it. She wanted me there, and Xander and Anya and Dawn and William. She liked William. She always went on and on about how romantic he was and how intelligent he was and how he was "just like Tara, only male, cuz Tara's a woman and all." I had to laugh; I knew she thought we'd be perfect for each other. And maybe she was right, but I didn't want to get too involved. I was afraid I already was too involved. I was even more afraid that I'd lose him. The night of the commitment ceremony, I slipped into my room to change into the dress Tara had picked out. It was cornflower blue silk, spaghetti strapped and flowing to around my knees. I loved that dress, the way the cool silk brushed against my skin. And then I noticed the little bit of paper pinned to the strap, folded over with my name elegantly written on it. I opened it and found a short poem. "Heaven sent you to Earth, but when you returned, it couldn't keep you. It sent you for a reason, for more than a season. It sent you here to return love to someone who lost it. Love me." It was signed William. And then I knew it was too late; I was head over heels in love with him. That night was when we made love for the first time. And it was incredible. It was tender and passionate and loving and...it was perfect. That was when Spike showed his face again. He started by going after friends of Dawn's, then friends of Willow's, then friends of Tara's and Xander's and Anya's. They wanted me to end it, but I was so afraid. I couldn't kill Spike; that'd be signing William's death certificate. And I couldn't let the killing and stalking continue. I had no choice. I had to try and combine them. But Spike had other ideas. Tonight, he arrived. Dawn thought he was William and she let him in. And he sat mere inches away from her, not making a move until I came back from patrol with William. He'd been stalking me. He knew enough to fool Dawn. He grabbed Dawn, and bit her neck. He didn't drink, he just bit her. She screamed. I never wanted to hear a scream like that again. Ever. William rushed him, I grabbed Dawn and had her run to her friend's house down the street to call Willow's cell. We needed the spell done immediately. We needed to combine William and Spike. William wouldn't let me fight. Spike was blood crazed. He would have ripped me apart. They fought so hard, they destroyed the living room and the kitchen. They went up towards the bedrooms, and then William threw Spike over the stair railing. William looked at me, a sad smile on his face, and grabbed a broken piece of railing. Spike saw I was alone and in shock. William...he couldn't. He loved me, I knew it, and this would kill me just as sure as it would kill him. Spike was almost on me when William plunged the makeshift stake into his chest. I watched William turn to dust as I felt Spike float to the ground around me. And...it was all over. *** "Buffy?" "In...in the kitchen." Willow and Tara ran in, arms laden with spell stuff. "Are we...?" Willow asked. I just nodded. "Too late." "What happened?" Tara asked quietly, setting some of the supplies on the only chair remaining upright. "William staked himself before Spike got me." She looked at the ice cream, which by then was completely melted. "He saved me." // I want to come over To hell with the consequence You told me you loved me That's all I believe I want to come over It's a need I can't explain To see you again I want to come over \\ "Can we do anything?" Willow asked. Buffy shook her head. "I just want to sit and listen to the rain for a while," she said, standing up and moving to the window, watching the rain roll down.