Title: Sanguine

Author: Anne Rose

Email: anne3rose@yahoo.com

URL: http://annerose.cjb.net/btvs
http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=47579 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Seasons 6 & 7

Summary: S/B, It's the obligatory "Spike's Return", what's up with the
soul, and btw I hated Seeing Red, story.

Archive: Yes. I would be honored if you want to archive it. Please let
me know where so I can visit it. 

Author's Note: Thanks to Caffey and Spiletta for asking me annoying
questions so I could fix things. Thanks to Rabid/Raeann and Hubby for
betaing. (c) November 19, 2002

More Author's Notes: My beta readers asked me a bunch of questions, and
rather than sending the plot exposition fairy to drop anvils on you,
I'm writing long, boring author's notes. You can skip ahead if you
promise not to whinge later.

1) First of all, I adore Joss, but nobody is right all the time. I'm in
the "that wasn't attempted rape" camp. I think Joss made a huge error
in using that term - but as a male writer/executive producer in our
society he probably felt he needed to in order to avoid millions of
angry letters and pickets. When Buffy was constantly beating up Spike,
there was no labeling of it as battery or her as an abuser. That's a
classic double-standard. IMHBCO

PSA - Unquestionably "no" should mean "no", and "Seeing Red" is an
object lesson in why you should not keep saying no when you mean yes.
(Listen to the dialog during the balcony scene in "Dead Things".)

2) I don't think everything in life has to be incredibly complicated.
Sometimes you can just wake up and smell the coffee, the light bulb
comes on. (Insert cliché of choice here if that didn't work for you.)

3) To whinge is to whine in England or Australia. It's not a bloody
typo! I offer http://m-w.com as a reference if you still doubt me.

4) PSA stands for Public Service Announcement. 

5) IMHBCO stands for In My Humble But Correct Opinion.

Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy, etc... own BtVS. No infringement
intended. Any resemblance to people living, dead, or undead, or to real
life events is all in your mind, is downright scary, and means you
seriously need to get a life.

~*~*~
Part 5
~*~*~

Giles watched them leave and then took a seat in the living room. "If
you feel up to it, I would like to ask you a few questions." 

Spike's turned to face Giles. "Go ahead, ask away."

"Buffy said you seemed to know something was coming. How exactly?"

"From beneath you it devours." Spike repeated the phrase. "Something is
coming. Something big and bad. All the demons are talking about it."

Giles looked at Spike, clearly expecting more information.

Spike shook his head. "That's all I know, Watcher. All anybody knows."

Giles mulled that over for a minute. "Does this have something to do
with how you got your soul back?"

Spike looked stunned, as if Giles had struck him. "Is that what you all
think? Maybe the pathetic demon went off, did something to get himself
cursed? Well that's not how it happened."

"That is how the only other vampire with a soul acquired his." Giles
Giles sighed as he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his
nose. "Why don't you tell me about it then?"

Spike shook his head. "Don't think you really want to know, Rupert."

Buffy tried to reassure him. "I want to know too. I need," she stressed
the word need, "to know what happened to you, Spike."

"Didn't happen 'to' me. You both make it sound like an accident.
Wasn't. Had to go all the way to Africa to find someone, something who
could do it."

"You did it intentionally?" Giles exclaimed. His glasses slipped from
his grip and he fumbled around on the carpet for a moment to find them.

Spike nodded. Giles stared at him. He had seen a great many strange
things in his life, and Spike had always been full of surprises, but
this was beyond anything else.

Buffy was shocked. He did it on purpose. Her mind raced as she
considered the implications of Spike's simple statement.

"Wouldn't have endured the tests if I hadn't been trying to get it
back. Bloody painful too, but nothing compared to when he put it back
in." Spike rubbed his chest as if that would ease some of the pain.

Giles was dumbfounded. Finally he managed to say, "Why?"

"Why do you think, Watcher?" Spike's eyes drilled into him as he waited
for Giles to connect the dots. Giles blinked in amazement, and Spike
nodded slowly. 

"But that's..." Giles didn't know what to say.

"Oh, but that's right, you lot think I don't have feelings. So how do
you explain it then?" He sat back and waited for Giles to answer. 

Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She had suspected the truth
after Spike's rambling explanation in the church.

Giles mulled it over. Spike had said again and again that he loved
Buffy. He'd fought with them before her death, protected Dawn after it,
and then stayed by Buffy's side when she returned. The question of why
he stayed to protect Dawn had always nagged at him, but he'd never
really stopped to analyze it.

"Why don't you start at the beginning? Tell us about your trip and the
trials." Giles pulled out a notepad and pen and got ready to take
notes.

Spike began his tale with his visit to LA to have Lorne read him. He
had told Lorne his plan and then sang. Lorne gave him a cryptic song
and dance about his destiny and the path he was on. It all boiled down
to confirming that the only way to set things right was to go to
Africa.

He told Giles about his arrival in Africa and how he'd found the
creature who could help him. Spike tried to gloss over the tests, but
Giles pried every detail out of him. Buffy listened with rapt
attention, cringing at times and other times staring at him in
amazement.

Giles filled page after page in his notebook. He tried not to focus on
the horror of the story Spike related to him and just worked to
transcribe it. He couldn't let himself stop and think about the
implications. There would be time for that later. Right now he was too
busy hanging on as his world was being turned upside down.

Spike finished with the creature putting a hand on his chest and the
blinding pain he had felt. Then he sat back and waited as Giles
finished up his notes.

Giles flipped back through his notes and asked more questions, filling
in details as he read over Spike's story. One part of the narrative
puzzled him. He frowned, and studied a few pages before sitting back
and eyeing the vampire. "Spike," he said, "what was the exact phrasing
you used when you asked for your soul. It could be important."

When he got no answer, he looked up and saw Spike nervously fiddling
with the coasters on the coffee table.

"Now is not the time to get squeamish. What did exactly did you say to
this... creature?"

"I said several things." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair,
looking out of the corner of his eye at Buffy. She looked about like
him - like she was about to jump out of her skin. 

Buffy laid a hand on Spike's arm and smiled at him. She looked up at
Giles. "Giles, put the notepad down, ok?"

Giles reluctantly closed the pad and put it and the pen on the coffee
table. 

"Go ahead, Spike." Buffy encouraged him.

"You sure you want to hear this?" Spike asked her.

"No." She gave him a brave smile and squeezed his arm. "But I figure I
need to know."

Spike nodded. "He knew why I was there, before I told him anything.
Said he knew it was because of the Slayer. Told me I was a pathetic
excuse for a demon. Coming crawling back and asking for... restoration.
But he promised if I endured the trials, if I survived them, then I'd
get what I wanted."

"Ah." Giles' eyebrows went up at this new information. He wasn't sure
what was more disturbing, that Spike had gone on this quest because of
Buffy, or the fact that this creature knew it. "But do you remember
exactly what you asked for?"

Spike looked at Buffy, and she nodded. Then he spoke so quietly that
Giles almost missed it. "Course I remember. I said," he paused and took
a breath. "I said, 'Make me what I was... so Buffy can get what she
deserves.' And then he gave me my soul back."

Buffy squeezed his arm tightly and stared into his eyes. Tears were
once again threatening to fall. She blinked them back as she tried to
comprehend what Spike had done.

Giles paused, his glasses suspended in mid air. He remained frozen for
a long moment. "And he returned your soul in answer to that request,"
Giles breathed. He lowered his glasses and polished them thoughtfully.

"You certainly are full of surprises." Giles put his glasses on.
"There's one thing I don't understand."

Spike was fiddling with the coasters again, avoiding looking at Giles.
"Only one thing, Rupert?"

Giles chuckled. "I'm sure there will be more later, once this has all
sunk in. But for now, tell me why, if you did all this for Buffy, why
didn't you let her know you were back? Why the hiding?"

Buffy looked up. It was embarrassing enough to be in the room with
Giles while Spike told his story. But the reason he left Sunnydale,
that was off the meter.

Spike stood suddenly and paced. He hadn't wanted to tell Giles about
his little adventure, but he'd done it. Telling him about Buffy was
another thing altogether. She might not take kindly to him revealing
certain details. He glanced at her and saw the anxiety coming off her
in waves.

"After you left, Giles, Buffy and I had a falling out. Once I had the
soul I understood a few things a little better. I didn't think she
would want to see me. But I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I
promised I'd take care of Dawn. Till the end of the world." He said the
last softly. He hazarded a look at Buffy, and was relieved to see that
she met his eyes and held them. Spike hoped that explanation would
satisfy Giles. 

Giles was intrigued by what Spike had left out. The old Spike would
have flaunted the fact that he'd slept with the Slayer, bragged about
it to anyone who would listen. Not hesitated to embarrass her in front
of him. But as he thought more about it, he realized that Spike had
slowly been replaced over the last couple of years.

"Buffy, after that I think I need a drink. Could I trouble you to make
me some tea?" Giles asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Dawn at least got ice cream when you wanted her
out of the house."

Giles smiled sheepishly. "Quite true."

Buffy sighed and headed to the kitchen. Giles would find a way to speak
to Spike alone. It might as well be when she was at home and could
intervene if things got out of hand.

~*~*~

TBC...