TITLE: Rising Above the Surface
AUTHOR: Foxhunt2blue
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY:A look within the minds of our heros as
the try to rise above the surface of defeat or is
it destiny??
ARCHIVE: Please just let me know! ;)
FEEDBACK: Always seek it out...hunt it down.
foxhunter2blue@yahoo.com or
Kitsunegari2001@aol.com
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rising Above the Surface
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
They had denied it.
 
Two sides of the same coin.
 
If either of them had been informed of their
hidden feelings a year ago they would have
laughed. 
 
No...actually they would have probably passed
out in the middle of the floor.
 
Why was it that you never saw what you had until 
you lost it? Until you had to face a decision
where no matter what you said or did there would
be no happy ending?
 
Cordelia Chase stood eyes lifted to the night sky
in a world frozen between time. It was so damn 
unfair of the Powers to do this just as the veil
had been lifted from her eyes.
 
She could argue...scream...even curse, but in the
 
end her choice had already been made. Destiny 
had reached out, snatching a selfish, stuckup
little rich girl and remolded her into a hero.
 
A hero.
 
What a fucking joke!
 
She had tried to tell herself that she had
ulterior motives, that it was all about her own
needs. It never worked though...not in the final
mile.
 
Lifting her arms to the light she finally
embraced
what she had never thought possible. They were
calling her home, but she was leaving so much
unsaid...undone.
 
"...angel...," she whispered as the ethereal
light of heaven engulfed her.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Darkness.
 
It always came back to that.
 
No matter how hard he fought the darkness would
always find him. It would slide it's cold arms
around him, dragging him deeper.
 
Conner.
 
His child...his son.
 
In a last ditch attempt to save their child Darla
had sacrificed herself. In the end Darla had been
more human than Angel ever thought possible, but
what had it been for?
 
To watch as a baby, snatched from his father's
arms, returned from a world of darkness. A baby
who was now an angry young man who would do
anything to see him pay for a death that had
never occured.
 
Or had it?
 
Had Holtz sacrificed himself in the final attempt
at a vengence that spanned centuries? A vengence 
whose thirst could never be quenched.
 
Water filled his lungs...burned his eyes as he
drifted closer to what would be his final resting
place. A painful reminder of his failures both as
human and vampire. Never fitting in either world,
just lurking at the boundaries of each one. 
 
Hoping...thirsting for a life he was never
destined to have. A supernatural mongrel that no
one could accept...not true...Buffy had. Someone
else had too.
 
"...cordelia...," he whispered, bubbles rising to
the dark surface of his liquid tomb. 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The sound of the door closing drew his eyes down
from the ceiling where he had been focused for
the
last twenty minutes.
 
Lila.
 
Of all the women in the world he could have
imagined himself ending up in bed with, Lila had
been the least likely.
 
Closing his eyes he began rubbing the bridge of
his nose in a familiar gesture from a time that
seemed long ago and far away. Her scent still
lingered bringing flashes of smooth tanned skin,
dappled with crystalline beads of moisture.
 
Eyes flying open he tossed back the sheets that
reeked of sweat and sex, then sat up his
shoulders slumped.
 
He had done what he thought was right.
 
Why was he being punished?
 
His fingers trembled as they traced the puckered
pinkness of the scar along his throat. One hair
deeper and he would have died, perhaps that would
have been for the best. His father had always
told him he was a fool...a disappointment.
 
On weak legs he moved through the silent
apartment,a shadow among so many others. His slim
fingers encircling the neck of the bottle, it's
contents a fine burn against the dryness of his
throat.
 
Once he had possessed promise.
 
Now all that was left were memories of his own
foolish choices. Lila was just the last in a long
line that seemed to haunt his thoughts. He hadn't
just lost co-workers and friends, he had lost the
only family he had ever truly possessed.
 
Lifting the bottle he slammed it against the wall
collapsing to the floor. Ragged sobs tore at his
chest, his throat, sobs that almost drowned out
his desperate plea.
 
"...forgive me Angel...forgive me,"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Miles of desert stretched out as the bus wove
it's way along the dark ribbon of asphalt.
 
He hadn't wanted to leave.
 
Maybe he would return, but for now he couldn't
face the young man he had loved just weeks before
as his own. To look into those dark eyes and
witness nothing, but pure hatred.
 
Hatred for the color of his skin...for who he
was.
 
A demon.
 
Loren sighed as he leaned into the dusty glass of
the window. With all his heart he hoped that
Angel had taken his farewell gift to heart. He
had known for sometime that Angel loved
Cordelia...just as he had know Fred would chose
Gunn over Wesley.
 
His curse...his gift one could only guess.
 
Life was what one made of it.
 
In the distance he could sense all the lost souls
that waited for his special talent to guide them.
The corner of his mouth twitched in a half smile
as he thought of Fred and Gunn.
 
"...when the moon in the sky...," he sang softly
to himself.
 
Yeah, that was definately amore, he thought.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Gunn watched her sleep.
 
Pale limbs tangled in the sheets, dark hair a
tangled mass that melted into the shadows. She
even looked more innocent here asleep in his arms
if that were possible.
 
The hotel seemed like another world tonight. All
it's occupants gone except Fred and him. Chills
crept across his skin as he thought of the look
on her face earlier. Something was wrong he knew
that in his gut. All those years on the streets
had given him an almost sixth sense about the
dangers that lurked in the darkness.
 
"...mmm...aanngell,"
 
He glanced down into her face at the soft whimper
that escaped her lips. Dark fingertips smoothed
along the wrinkled knot between her brows. A
nightmare, he thought, as he leaned down, his
lips
brushing her pale forehead.
 
"It's okay baby...," he whispered.
 
Fred shifted in his arms with a soft sigh.
 
"I promise you...I swear everything will be
okay."
 
Liar, he thought, nothing will ever be the same
again. Pulling her to his chest, he caught
himself doing something he hadn't done since he
was a child on his momma's knee.
 
"...our father who art in heaven...,"
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Standing at the end of the dock he watched as the
box sank to the ocean floor. A small pain
throbbed behind his eyes as it sank from sight.
 
He hadn't really even fought.
 
What had happened to the powerful demon his
father had warned him of for all those years.
Angelus had been painted as a ruthless creature
steeped in evil.
 
It was all a game.
 
A game to lure him into the demon's dark world.
 
Behind him he could sense his father's companion.
The woman who had saved him from the demon who
had spawned him.
 
A sudden burst of light in the distance drew his
eyes from the surface of the stilled water. Like
a fallening star the light flared with an
ethereal brilliance, then vanished into the dark
nothingness.
 
Something squirmed deep in his belly.
 
A whisper.
 
Eyes shifting he watched as bubbles swelled from
the surface of the dark water. Each glistening
bubble a perfectly formed testament to his
betrayal.
 
Betrayal?
 
No, he wasn't the betrayer. He refused to
entertain the thought that he had done anything
wrong, that somehow he had made a mistake. That
he had been used in some way.
 
Giving the bubbles rising to the surface one
final glance he turned away.
 
"...good-bye father...," he whispered, then
vanished into the night to find the others.
 
THE END