Title: From Summerland I Watch
Author: Foxhunt2blue
Summary: Had I known the future as it was
to be perhaps I would have told him sooner.
Rating: PG-13 
Spoilers: Buffy Season 2 "Passion"
Feedback: Only if you want me to survive! *sob*
E-mail: foxhunter2blue@yahoo.com 
Authors Note: Just a few hours ago I found myself 
rewatching the ep "Passion" and it made my heart
ache even more the second time around. I had 
forgotten just how cruel Angelus had been to Giles
when he killed Jenny Calendar. Knowing that Jenny
was desperately trying to reinstate the spell that
gave Angelus his soul I and the sudden way she was 
killed my imagination went into overtime.
This is the result. I hope you enjoy it. :)
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
It was over.
 
In a heart beat everything I had been--everything I
could have done--over. 
 
This hadn't been the way I had pictured my death, but
I had no choice. My last thoughts in life had been not
of the sadistic creature who stalked me through the
empty corridors. That would have been to simple--to
formulated.
 
Giles.
 
How could I leave him like this?
 
I had just told him I loved him and now I was staring 
into the eyes of my death. Angelus had smiled at me
as he grasp my throat and at that moment I knew I
would never fullfill the promise I had made to myself.
 
There was no pain only darkness.
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
Suddenly I was standing outside Giles' apartment
wondering what the hell had happened. For a moment 
I thought my prayers to the Goddess had been heard.
 
But they hadn't been.
 
I turned in time to see Giles walking up the stairs
the
wind whipping his coat around him as he fumbled
for his keys. Stepping out of the shadows my arms
wide to reach for him I froze--his name clinging to
my trembling lips.
 
He had walked right through me.
 
As the reality of my death hit me I heard him just
behind me.
 
"Hello?"
 
Goddess, I think, as I move forward don't go in
there Giles.
 
I drift towards his voice--my eyes filling with
tears--
as I see the single red rose. He thinks I left it for
him, but I didn't. Oh, Angelus what have you done?
 
Inside the romantic strains of  La Boheme filled the
candlelit room. A bottle of champagne on ice, the
candles leading up to the loft, and scattered roses
on each step. Angelus has done something far more
evil than he had need too.
 
He had killed me--wasn't that enough?
 
"Jenny?"
 
His voice sounds so hopeful as he removes his coat
hanging it up. I want to hold him tell him to leave
this place before Angelus takes his life as well, but
I can't.
 
"It's me!"
 
I watch as he moves to the table lifting a sheet of 
neatly folded paper. A smile plays across his face as
he lays the paper aside grabbing the bottle and the
two glasses that had been left on the table. As he 
moves up the stairs I look down at the paper.
 
Upstairs.
 
One simple word, yet it holds a million different
meanings. Turning I run up the stairs somehow
thinking I can stop him from what awaits him.
 
Shattering glass fills my ears as I reach his side
just moments too late.
 
Oh, Rupert.
 
Tears fill my eyes as I look down on myself. My
earthly remains laid out on the crisp cotten sheets
of his bed. My lifeless eyes stare up at his pale face
as he drops to his knees next to the bed.
 
"Jenny? Oh, God Jenny...," his voice fades as he 
reaches out. His fingers tremble as he strokes my 
cold skin. "Jenny!" He howls my name as he crawls 
on to the bed taking my body into his shaking arms.
 
Why Angelus? 
 
What did you have to gain from this sick display?
 
Rupert I'm sorry--so fucking sorry.
 
I watch as he weeps over my body, his chest heaving
as he tries to steady my shattered neck.
 
I want to tell him that I'm here. That this cold shell
of flesh and bone is nothing but an empty husk.
Sitting
down on the edge of the bed I reach out to him seeking
to comfort him, but my hand passes through his
shoulder.
 
We didn't deserve this or is this my punishment?
 
Am I to witness what my blind faith in my people has
wrought on this man--on all these people?
 
Forgive me Rupert.
 
He suddenly calms, but it is the calm before the
storm. I see his eyes grow cold as he lays me down.
There next to my shattered body is another sheet of
paper. This one though is a signature.
 
Angelus' signature.
 
A sketch of my face--eyes dead and wide.
 
Grabbing the paper he stands and heads down the
stairs, his back stiff. When he reaches the living
room he tucks the sketch away on one of the bookcases
and I wonder why he would do that.
 
He picks up the phone and dials 911.
 
"This is Rupert Giles...I would like to report a
murder."
 
From behind me I sense a presence that draws me from
the calm, coldness of his face.
 
<Janna of the Kalderash it is time to go.>
 
She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Her
hair flows around her black silk in which I can see
the twinkle of distant stars. 
 
<Who are you?>
 
With a soft laugh she throws back her head, sparks of
stardust dancing around her.
 
<You have served me well upon this earth childe, yet
you do not know me when I come for you?>
 
<Goddess?>
 
Her smile is warm and inviting as she holds out her
arms to me as only a mother would. I find myself
engulfed in love and for a moment I forget about the
man who leans against the wall. A man who has no idea
what is happening right in front of him.
 
<Rupert?>
 
I pull away from the warmth of her embrace as if to
move to his side.
 
<He will survive, but your lose is great. It will take
time.>
 
In her eyes I see so much compassion and love. The
decision is hard to make, but I know it is time.
 
<Will I see him again?>
 
<Yes.>
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
Being dead isn't so bad.
 
I have decided though that I will not return to this
earthly plane for sometime. I was given a choice
rebirth or rest my soul for a generation.
 
My soul needs mending now though.
 
I pass through the mists to the earth. Drawn to the
one
place so many souls are in my situation.
 
It's a beautiful day. The sky a fragile blue scattered
with cottony clouds, a faint breeze blowing through
the trees.
 
So much like the place I have chose to stay.
 
Tears form in my eyes as I drift to where he kneels on
fresh sod. A bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand
as he studies the simple gravemarker. He finally
releases a breath, laying the flowers on the ground
and stands.
 
"In my years as... Watcher... I've buried... too many 
people. But Jenny was the first I've loved."
 
I turn to see he is not alone. Buffy Summers stands
a few feet away her face somber and filled with grief
for the man who is like a father.
 
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't kill him for
you...for her... when I had the chance." She speaks
quietly, her eyes focused on the grave marker. 
 
I can sense her guilt, but it is overshadowed by her
resolve.
 
"I wasn't ready."
 
As she speaks I reach out--my arms surrounding
Rupert. If only he knew I was here.
 
A shiver runs through his body as he looks around the
quiet cemetary. A tiny smile flickers at the corner of
my mouth. Perhaps in some way he does sense me?
 
"But I think I finally am."
 
He moves to her side, an arm wrapping around her tiny
shoulders as they walk away.
 
I can't change the things I did, but I know that I can
come to him. For the soul never forgets love. 
 
I will eventually be reborn to another life and I will
continue my journey to enlightenment. For now 
though from Summerland I watch over those I loved
in this life.
 
The End