Title: Eternal Possibilities
Author: Foxhunt2blue
Summary: Almost a week has passed
since the end of 'Saving Paradise' and
Wesley is haunted by nightmares after
his ordeal. At the same time Angel is
coming to grips with the choice he made
to save Wesley's life and what implications
it might hold for their future.
Rating: R for violence & slashy moments
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Spoilers: Mentions of Season 5 'Destiny'
& Season 1 "Prodigal Son"
Disclaimer: Our wonderful Joss created
them I had nothing to do with it---wish I
had. I just play with the boys on occasion.
I on the other hand claim anyone you don't
know.
Feedback: Please feed the baby slash ho' it
needs nourishment to grow! ;-)
E-mail: foxhunter2blue@yahoo.com
Author's note: This is the fifth in a series of
stories beginning with 'Deora Ar Mo Chroi'.
If you haven't read the previous four check
them out here:

http://www.geocities.com/rose_liz2001/MoChroi.html

***

Angel opened one eye shifting over on his
side at the sound of Wes moaning.

Another nightmare, he thought, as he
reached out stroking Wes's back. He had
been having them every night since he
had returned from the hospital.

"Hey Wes...," he leaned in closer, "...come
on wake up...," he whispered.

"...no...can't be...," Wes moaned again.

Angel reached out pulling Wesley back into
his arms as the other man began to whimper.
He was glad that Wes hadn't talked him out
of staying with him. If the nightmares tonight
were like the others had been over the last five
days, then Wes would need him.

As his arms tightened around Wes he began
to thrash making inarticulate noises deep in
his throat.

"Shhh...Wes...come on wake up." He pulled
Wes closer still. "It's just a dream...just a
dream."

Suddenly Wes went stiff and for a moment
Angel thought he had hurt him. After all he
was still healing and sometimes Angel forgot
his own strength. Wes opened his eyes a
scream ripping from his throat.

"Wes? God...Wes wake up...," Angel shook
him gently until the scream faded and his
eyes slid shut.

His whole body went limp scaring the hell
out of Angel in the process. Just as Angel
was about to reach for the phone Wes stirred
in his arms.

"Angel?" He looked up with sleepy eyes.

"Yeah it's me. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine...just a bad dream," he rolled over
into Angel's arms his face burrowing into his
cool, hard chest.

Angel stroked Wes's hair gently as he felt a
shiver travel through his body. "Do you...,"
he felt strange asking him, but he felt like he
needed to ask.

"What?" Came Wes's muffled reply.

"Talk about it?"

"Not really," Wes sighed pulling back with
a hiss of pain.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" A look of
guilt flickered across Angel's eyes as Wes sat
up.

"No...don't be silly...of course not. Just a
bit sore that's all."

Wes swung his legs over the edge of the
mattress and stood up---wobbling. As he
stumbled towards the bathroom Angel
slipped from the bed and wrapped an arm
around him.

"Stay in bed. Do you need the pain pills?"

A deep laugh rose up in Wes's throat as he
leaned into Angel's embrace. "You can be
such a mother hen. I can do this myself you
know? I am a grown man after all."

"A grown man with more staples than Frank-
enstein's monster," Angel snorted as he turned
Wes around marching him back to the bed.
"Mother hen? Geez Wes...you're starting to
sound like Spike." He shook his head as he
settled Wes back on the mattress.

Wes's face pruned up at the mention of the
latest addition to their little family. "Really!
If I wasn't so tired I'd be insulted," He groaned.

Laughing Angel went into the bathroom,
located the prescription bottle, and a glass
of water then wandered back into the bed-
room. "Here."

With a grimace Wes took the pills and water
sighing in relief as Angel pulled the blanket
back over him. "You do realize how much I
hate this?"

"The nightmares?" Angel raised a brow.

"Give it up. I'm not going to worry you with
those damn things." Rolling his eyes Wes
handed the glass back to Angel. "They're just
dreams. I meant the being confined to bed."

"Oh...," Angel took the glass setting it on the
bedside table. "I thought maybe...,"

"That I hated not being able to touch you?"
Wes smiled as he sank into the pillows.

Angel raised his head looking straight into
Wes's eyes for the first time since he had
woke from the nightmare. "You can touch
me." His voice was soft, almost sad.

"Not the way I want to though," Wes waggled
his brows comically causing Angel to crack
a small grin.

His hand moved to settle on Angel's thigh---
stroking the hard muscle through the soft
cotton of his pajama bottoms. "I want to feel
you inside me...," he whispered, "...I want
you to make love to me so bad it hurts." Wes's
head dropped---his chin resting on his chest---
with a soft sigh.

Angel smiled as he lifted Wes's chin with the
tips of his fingers. "You do know this isn't
forever? Just until you heal?" He leaned in
brushing his lips across Wes's gently.

"Yeah...," Wes sighed softly.

Standing Angel headed for the living room.

"Where are you going?" Wes's eyes widened
in disappointment for a moment.

"Living room. I need a drink...I'll be right
back."

"Good." Wes's eyes drooped as he shifted on
his side.

~~~

Angel stood at the window staring out at the
city lights his heart heavy with worry. It wasn't
that he didn't believe that Wes would be fine---
he would. It was what he had done to make
sure that Wes healed that worried him more
than anything.

Tossing back the scotch in one gulp he closed
his eyes and let the slow burn of the liquor fill
him with a warmth that reminded him of life.
A warmth he found only when he drank or
when he buried himself in Wes's body.

He wanted to feel that again.

The sound of Wes's heart pounding with warm
blood, the soft moans that rose in his throat,
and the feel of his burning skin. He wanted to
love Wes with everything his cursed soul could
muster.

That was the problem.

He cared so much for Wes, but it terrified him
at the same time. A terror he had felt when he
had experienced that one moment of true
happiness with Buffy. That one moment when
his soul had been ripped from him in the wild
storm after he had made love to her for the
first time.

He loved Wes more than he had ever wanted
to admit, but to save him he had spoke those
three simple words.

Now he was afraid.

Afraid that if he touched Wes again---in that
way---that he would lose his soul. And with
his soul he would lose everything else that he
held dear.

"Liam?"

He jerked at the sound of the little girl's voice.

Turning he saw what couldn't be real.

She stood next to the Christmas tree. Small
and delicate, clad in a simple linen dress her
pale blonde curls tucked beneath a lace cap.

Angel stepped back a look of anguish burning
in his dark eyes. "Kathy...," he choked out a
name he hadn't spoken in over two hundred
years.

She smiled at him her dark eyes shining with
love.

"This isn't real...," he scrubbed at his eyes
dropping the glass, "...this isn't real...," his
voice cracked.

"Don't be upset...please Liam?" Her tiny rose
bud mouth formed a sad pout. "Aliah said I
could come to you. I've missed you so Liam."

Angel's legs collapsed beneath him as Kathy
moved across the room to kneel in front of
him. He shook his head in denial as he
scrabbled across the carpet on hands and
knees.

"...no...," his voice was a harsh whisper.

"It's okay...I'm sorry...," she sat down on the
carpet, her skirt spreading around her. "I
didn't mean to scare you." Tears glittered in
her eyes as she began fade away.

"Kathy...oh god...Katherine!" Angel cried
out as she vanished into the shadows. He
swallowed hard fighting the tears that slowly
began to trickle down his face. "Katherine...
come back...please...," he began to sob.

~~~

Wesley shifted beneath the blankets---throw-
ing them off---his body shaking with the
nightmare.

He was in a cottage.

Plaster walls, dark wood, and a fire burning
brightly in the fireplace. A little girl sat in
front of the fire playing with her doll and a
woman sat at a table doing needle point. Her
calloused fingers moving with grace.

"Mama?"

"Yes Katherine my dear?"

"Why did papa always hit him?" The girls
dark eyes shimmered beneath her frown.

Wesley knew that frown. So familiar, yet
different.

"Tis' not a woman's place to be asking such
questions Katherine Rose."

"But mama...,"

"No buts Katherine. Now be getting yourself
to bed before your father sees you still up."

A sudden knock at the door caused Wesley
to turn and it was then he noticed the windows
were boarded over. He also realized he was
just an observer in this place.

When the little girl opened the door he
suddenly knew where he was and what
he was about to be a witness too.

He started screaming...

~~~

Angel was on his feet and running as soon as
he heard Wes scream.

He was greeted by the sight of Wes thrashing
on the mattress like a wild man---the blankets
tangled in a heap on the floor.

Grabbing Wes by the shoulders he tried to
pin him to the mattress. "Wes! Wesley! Wake
up!"

"No! Oh God! No!" Wes's voice cracked.

"Come on Wes...," Angel gritted his teeth,
"...it's just a dream...just a fucking dream!"

Wesley gasped for breath his back bowing
and for a moment Angel thought he was
going into convulsions. Then he went limp
in Angel's grasp whimpering softly.

"It's okay Wes...come on open your eyes look
at me...it's Angel."

"...no...," Wes moaned, "...angelus...no...,"

Angel jerked back at the sound of that damnable
name. He had been right---he wasn't going to
give into the need he had for Wes. If he gave in
then he would destroy what he was fighting to
protect.

"...angel?"

He looked down into Wes's confused gaze.

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me," he whispered.

Without a word Angel crawled into the bed
pulling Wes into his arms---clinging to him
like a drowning man.

~~~

Angel had been up for hours sorting through
stacks of paperwork that were enough to drive
any human insane. Of course he wasn't human
and probably never would be---not after what
had happen with Spike. His despair over being
beaten by Spike had settled in his gut like a
black lump of congealed blood.

Bless his heart Wes had tried to get him to talk,
but he had told him everything was fine. That
one simple word had become his mantra for the
past few weeks.

Fine. Fine. Fine.

"So you're Angel. Can't say I'm impressed."

Angel started at the crisp feminine voice.

"Excuse me?" He stood and moved around his
desk just as Harmony stumbled through the
door breaking a heel in the progress.

"I told her she couldn't just come in...I swear
boss I didn't know she was going to ignore
me." Hopping on one leg Harmony blew a
strand of blonde hair from her eyes as she
slipped off her shoe. "And you proper little...,"
Harmony growled shaking her shoe at the
other woman, "...this is a Dolce Gabbana! Do
you have a clue how expensive these are?"

The woman in question turned lips pursed in a
mix of distaste and amusement. "Four hundred
and fifty American dollars...if they were Dolce
Gabbana instead of cheap rip off. I do hope you
didn't pay full price dear."

Harmony stopped hopping long enough to
snort, then storm out of Angel's office with
a limp.

During the conversation---despite his confused
amusement---Angel had taken in the woman
who was apparently not impressed by either
him or Harmony.

She smelled of a mix of spiced soap and just
enough rose water to soften the edge. Dark,
thick hair was pulled back in a clip letting the
rest of it tumble down in a waterfall of curls
along her back. Her eyes were a sharp clear
blue that reminded him of...

"Theodora Wyndam-Pryce. I'm here to see
my brother Wesley." She held out an elegant
hand with long slim fingers, short blunt nails
that were just buffed with clear polish.

Angel could see the callouses though and that
told him she worked with her hands.

"How do I know you're for real?" He raised
a brow as she settled into a chair.

"Oh...Goddess save me!" She reached into
her bag and pulled out a cigarette case. Slipp-
ing out a cigarette she smiled at Angel. "Fag
dear?"

"What?"

"I find a smoke often breaks the ice." She lit
up, inhaled, then leaned back exhaling with
a sigh. "Father used to hate me using the
gutter talk as he called it. Then again," she
smiled at the look on Angel's face.

"This is a no smoking building." He frowned
as she made a point of inhaling dramatically.

"And your point would be?" She lifted a brow
blowing a series of smoke rings at Angel. "I
was of the notion that vampires didn't breath.
Am I incorrect?"

"We don't...but it stinks!"

"My...my...what a temper you have. What-
ever does Wes see in you...," she paused---her
eyes drifting to his crotch, "...perhaps...,"

Angel's face flushed for a moment.

"Dora! What in god's name are you doing
to Angel?"

They both turned to see Wes standing in the
door leaning heavily on a cane. A serious
look of disapproval shone in his eyes as he
slowly moved across the room.

"Can't a little sis interrogate her big brother's
lover for fun?" Her laughter was sweet and
teasing as it exploded from her.

"Wes! You didn't?" Angel frowned.

"I did Angel. Besides she is family she was
bound to find out sooner or later." He leaned
forward his lips brushing a soft kiss on Dora's
cheek. "Welcome to Los Angeles...and no
you can not interrogate my lover."

Wes lowered himself into a chair with a groan.

"You should be in bed," Angel chastised Wes.

"Like I said last night...mother hen."

Dora's smile changed to a look of worry as
she finally took her brother in. "Are you okay
dear? Whatever has he done to you?" She
glared at Angel in suspicion.

"Angel did nothing to me Dora. Now relax."

"Then why the cane? I can see you're in pain."

"He was attacked right before Christmas by
an assassin." Angel pulled up a chair and
settled in. "He almost died."

"Died? You almost died and no one called
me?"

"Dora please...," Wes met her tear-filled eyes
as he took her hand. "No one had your number
and Angel is the only one here who knows
about you."

"Unforgivable Wesley...," her voice shook
with anger and disappointment. "You're my
only true family now love."

Angel just sat staring at the two. They could
have been twins, he thought. They looked
quite a bit alike---brilliant blue eyes, dark hair
---even with the softer edges of Dora's femiinine
features. He smiled as he imagined if Wes
had been a woman this would definitely be
what he looked liked.

"...and you!"

Angel jumped at the annoyed accusation.
"What?"

"If you care for my brother you would not
allow him to put himself in such danger."
Dora leaned forward her eyes flashing with
fire.

"Theodora...," Wes warned her with just
that one simple word that she had stepped
over the line.

"But Wes...,"

"No buts Theodora. I am here because I
chose to be and it isn't as though I haven't
been injured before."

Her eyes dropped to the smoldering cigarette
she held. "I'm sorry...but I worry love. Don't
hate me for that. We've just be reunited. I can
not lose you again."

Wes squeezed her hand tighter. "You won't
lose me Dora. Now quit being such a ninny
and tell me why you're here in LA."

She smiled, then cleared her throat. "My fiancee
Michael has been offered a position at Berkeley
in San Francisco. While they wine and dine
him I decided to come visit you. We'll be in
the States until the second week in January...,"
she paused, "...perhaps a little longer. It
depends on Michael's decision."

"But what about Oxford?" Wes frowned.

"I would finish out the semester, then take
the summer off. I just might become a kept
woman."

Angel almost snickered at the expression on
Wes's face as he shifted uncomfortably in his
chair. Then he saw the worry fill his eyes and
thought better of it.

"Dora...are you sure...," his tone was hesitant.

"Sweet...sweet Wes. Always worried so. Michael
isn't father...I swear. We truly do love one another."

As Wes and Dora continued to talk Angel let
his thoughts drift. Dora had been right to be
angry with him. It was his fault that Wes had
been attacked by the assassin, but he'd never
tell Wes that because Wes wouldn't accept
his guilt.

His gaze moved around the room as the sound
of their voices faded to a soft buzz. It wasn't
just their voices though that had faded it was
everything---including the room.

Just at the corner of his vision he caught a
glimpse of a tiny head of golden curls.

"Angel? Angel?"

He shook his head trying to clear the cobwebs
in his brain at the sound of Wes's worried
voice.

"Yeah?" His dark eyes met Wes's gaze for a
split second then drifted back towards the
door.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

Standing he moved towards the door where
he stood perfectly still except his eyes. His
gaze sought out again what he had only
glimpsed for a moment and he was almost
immediately rewarded.

Amidst the hubbub of a typical afternoon at
Wolfram and Hart was---Katherine.

She was skipping in a circle---Angel's vampiric
hearing picking up her voice---as she sang.

<Ring around the rosie...pocket full of
posies...>

As he stepped into the lobby area everything
slowed and faded except for the pale wraith
of his long forgotten sister. She became sharper
---clearer---as he moved across the lobby.

<Ashes...ashes...>

"Kathy?" Her name caught in his throat.

She glanced up with those solemn dark, eyes
and her mouth curled into a sweet smile.

<Liam. Have you come to play with me?>

She turned and ran up the stairs---her laughter
a soft whisper along his skin.

"Kathy! Kathy!"

He headed up the stairs.

<We all...>

Angel stopped at the top of the stairs, watch-
ing as she twirled around. Her smile curled
up into a stiff rictus as her skin took on a pale
blue tinge.

"Kathy?"

<...fall...>

She lunged forward her eyes glazing over with
a milky sheen. Shocked at the sudden transfor-
mation Angel stepped back hitting the railing
as he lost his balance.

<...down!>

Tumbling backwards he fell over the railing.

~~~

Wesley's brows knitted into a frown as he
struggled to his feet. His heart was pounding
as he moved across the office to the open
door that Angel had vanished through.

"There's a spirit here."

Turning back at the sound of Dora's words
he stared at her in disbelief. "What did you
say?"

"A spirit love. There's a spirit and your
Angel is following it dear." She stood and
moved quickly to his side. "Vampires can see
things humans can not."

"How can you...?"

"Auras." She squeezed his shoulder. "I'm a
witch remember? Tuned in to the energy fields
around me...I can sense the presence of an
energy."

Wes moved out into the lobby to see Angel
bounding up the stairs calling out a name.

Kathy.

An image from his most recent nightmare
flickered across his thoughts.

A little girl---Katherine---in a cottage.

Terrified he called out. "ANGEL!" Then he
turned back to Dora his eyes wide. "Can you
tell...is it a little girl?"

Dora raised a brow. "It's small yes...feminine...,"

"It's her...," Wes hissed just as Angel hit the
floor in front of him and crumpled.

~~~

"I'm sorry Wesley...it's kind of hard to know
if he's okay...I mean...vampire...no pulse...,"
Fred mumbled to herself as she fiddled with
the portable monitor in her hand.

Dropping into the chair Knox offered Wes
swallowed hard scrubbing at his face. "He
should not still be unconscious...dammit...
he shouldn't be unconscious at all."

Dora knelt next to him rubbing his trembling
arm.

"Wes...dear...don't worry yourself like this."

He turned wet eyes to study Dora's face. "I
know how you feel about this relationship...,"
he hissed, "...it would be a blessing to you if
Angel never woke again!" He yanked his arm
away.

"Bullshit Wesley! I know you love him and it
doesn't matter what I think!"

Wes shook his head. "Yes...it does...you're
my family."

~~~

Angel was standing in a dark basement or
cavern---he wasn't sure which---looking
around in confusion.

In the distance a soft glow caught his eye.

Curiosity won out as he headed towards the
light unaware that Kathy trailed behind him.
He could hear his own voice in the distance
or rather the voice of the demon Angelus.

"Do you think this is what he would want?
Your precious Angel...always the lover of
mortals."

Angel peered around the earthen wall into a
candle lit room. What he saw made him
furious and terrified at the same time.

With a roar he ran across the room, but passed
through Angelus as if he had no substance.

"You don't Liam...this is a dream...a glimpse
of a future possibility...,"

Angel turned to see Aliah standing---her wings
spread wide---her hand curled around Katherine's
tiny fingers.

"You? You sent Kathy to me? For this?" He
growled deep in his throat. "Is this punish-
ment?"

"No Liam...,"

"My name is Angel!"

"You are and always will be Liam...it is what
you were...who you were." Aliah shook her
head sadly.

Angel turned back to the scene playing out in
front of them nausea twisting his gut in a
knot. Chained to the wall Wesley hung by his
arms---naked and vulnerable---his back a mass
of welts and bleeding slashes. He was moaning
softly as Angelus leaned forward licking the
blood that dripped down Wes's back.

"Why? Why would you make me see this...,"
he fell to his knees in anguish.

"Because it is a possibility."

"A possibility!" Angel screamed.

"Yes. You fear the love you feel for this man.
You fear that to touch him in love that you
will lose your soul."

Dragging himself to his feet Angel reached
out his knuckles grazing Wes's bruised face.
He couldn't allow this to happen.

"Of course I fear that...one moment of
happiness. The curse is clear." He swallowed
hard as he turned away to face Aliah. "It can't
happen. I won't allow this to happen...,"

"Liam?"

His gaze lowered to Kathy's dark eyes.

"I'm so sorry Katherine...," he whispered. "I
would never have hurt you." He kneeled in
front of his sister---tears glittering in his eyes.
"It was the demon inside me."

Katherine smiled innocently. "I know Liam.
I love you...I always will...but you must not
let him out again."

Everything began to slowly fade around
Angel.

~~~

Wes looked up at the sound of Angel groan-
ing.

"Angel?" He stumbled to his feet as Angel sat
up rubbing at his face. "What happened?"
Reaching out he gasp as Angel grabbed his
wrist.

"Don't."

"Don't what? What's wrong?" Wes looked
deep into Angel's dark eyes.

"I'm fine." Angel swung his legs over the
edge of the table and stood.

Dora snorted softly from across the room.

"Do you know what happened Angel?" Fred
moved around running the scanner over Angel.

"Fred...," Angel held out a hand, "...can we
do this later." His voice---cold and even.

"Umm...yeah sure no problem." Fred backed
away chewing on her lower lip. "I'll be in my
office when you're ready to do...," she waved
at the scanner nervously then headed up the
stairs.

"Dora." Angel raised a brow as he turned to
the other woman.

"What?" His gaze was met with a suspicious
glance.

"I need to talk to Wes...in private."

"Screw that!" She stepped towards him putting
a protective arm around Wes.

"NOW!" Angel growled.

"Fuck you Angel! He's my brother!"

"Dammit Dora do what he asks!" Wes turned
to her his eyes flashing. "I'll be fine. I swear
Dora...," he smiled softly. "It's okay."

Reluctantly she headed for the door, then
paused as she started to step through. "I'll be
right outside if you need me Wes." The door
swung shut behind her with a loud thud.

~~~

Wes stood staring at Angel his heart pound-
ing with a mix of fear and need.

"I'm sorry...," Angel's gaze drifted to the
floor.

"For scaring the hell out of me?" Wes reached
out and caressed Angel's trembling jaw.

"No...for what I'm about to say." His eyes
met Wes's and he saw the truth of how Wes
felt. Something that would have made him
happy before. Now though it just added to
his eternal torment.

"Don't...," whispering Wes leaned forward
his lips brushing Angel's, but there was no
response. "Please don't do this Angel." His
voice cracked as Angel moved back.

"I can't give you what you need."

Wes swallowed hard as he saw the fear in
Angel's eyes. "What did you see? Who was
it?"

"My sister...Katherine." Angel turned away.

"Where did she take you Angel?" Wes choked
out.

"It doesn't matter."

"The bloody hell it doesn't!"

"There isn't any hope...not for us. Find some-
one who can give you...,"

"Dammit! Don't say it...," Wes's voice faded
as he grabbed Angel's arm, "...you are what I
need. I've found what I want and I won't let
you walk away." He whispered.

Angel's shoulders slumped as he thought of
how much he cared for Wes. The memory
of that possible future he had witnessed scared
him though. First he had lost to Spike and
now this.

"It's possible...the prophecies...you can be
human again Angel. The possibility exists.
Are you saying you don't care...,"

"That's the problem with prophecies." Angel's
voice was soft. "They make you hope, then
you crash. I wasn't strong enough to beat
Spike, but damned if I will be to weak to
save you."

Wes moved closer his heartbeat loud in Angel's
ears as he stepped around to look straight into
his eyes. "You did save me. And what the hell
does Spike have to do with anything?"

"He wants his humanity more than I do."

"Bullshit! You've fought harder and longer,
than the powers that be have a right to ask
of one soul."

"It's just not possible...we're not possible...I
always hurt the ones I love in the end. I can't
hurt you too."

"You are hurting me."

"Not like Angelus could though."

Suddenly it hit Wes like a sledge hammer.
"You think that if you touch me again...,"

"...that I'll lose my soul." Angel smiled sadly. "I
can't take the chance Wes. Did I ever tell you
that the first person I killed that I loved was
my little sister Katherine?"

Wes swallowed the pain and shook his head.

"She was an innocent Wes. She's forgiven me,
but I still can't forgive myself. I can't forgive
myself for Buffy either. I don't want to add
you to list of victims I've left in my wake."

Angel pulled Wes close---his fingers tangling
in his hair---kissing him hard. All the love he
felt was in that one kiss---his final act of love.

It was one of the saddest moments Angel had
ever experienced in his long life.

Pulling back he looked into Wes's eyes. "She
showed me a possibility that I can't allow. In
time you'll understand...mo chroi." His fingers
fell away and he turned, walking out the door.

Wes stood staring at the empty door his hand
lifted to brush his lips. "But it was just one
possibility...one possibility out of so many
more...,"

The End