Title: Buffy & Spike, Lost in Cyber-Space PART 4 Author: Anne Rose Email: anne3rose@yahoo.com URL: http://annerose.cjb.net Rating: R (but nothing you haven't seen on the show, at 8pm.) Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy, etc... own BtVS. No infringement intended. Any resemblance to people living, dead, or undead, or to real life events is all in your mind, is downright scary, and means you seriously need to get a life. Spoilers: Season 6, but story is set after 'Once More With Feeling' where Buffy lives, and a little later in Fic-land. Summary: S/B, Willow has been using her computer to do a little inter-dimensional hacking. Spike finds it and wacky Internet hi-jinks ensue. It gets a bit more serious as it goes along. Answer to Challenge from Stephanie Honey. Archive: I would be honored if you want to archive it. Please let me know where so I can visit it. Author's Note: time passes differently in different dimensions. So it can be almost end of Season 6 in one place and Season 5 in another. Oh wait, that's syndication. ;-) And don't get on my case about screen names. I'm just keeping them simple. Thanks to the Buffy Dialog Database (http://vrya.cstone.net/index.htm) and the Buffy Guide (http://www.buffyguide.com/episodes.shtml) for help with research and parts of episodes. Thanks to Clare009 and Hubby for beta reading. (c) April 25, 2002 --------------------- [Spoiled_Spuffy] fanfiction group challenge from Stephanie Honey Hey fic writes! I got a challenge for ya'll! Here it is: Requirement 1. Humorous Fic!!! Requirement 2. Buffy and Spike find a fanfic group. And can't believe some of the stuff fans write about them!!! Requirement 3. PG-13 or higher Requirement 4. e-mail it to me at honeymajandra@hotmail.com Option 1. Try to mention these members: Honeymajandra (me- Stephanie Honey), Sophie_limbourg (Sophie), Sarafina120 (Melissa), Lochnoir (Jerri) --------------------- Buffy & Spike, Lost in Cyber-Space By Anne Rose Part 4 ~*~*~ While Buffy was learning about William, Spike had been busy reading everything he could about how these oracles thought he should go about winning over the Slayer. It was fascinating and frustrating at the same time. 'And who the hell was James bloody Marsters, and why were they so taken with him?' He pouted as he flipped through the messages that weren't about him. "Sodding oracles and seers! Never give you the straight story. Always talking in riddles." He grumbled under his breath. "Run off like a good chap and save the world. We can't tell you how, that would be cheating." He was tired of sifting through the archives, and the ads were driving him crazy. He didn't need to lose weight, buy a spy camera, or find a date. He needed to find a way to convince the Slayer to let him in. He sighed and decided to look at something else for a while. Switching windows, he found his inbox and clicked on it. He had mail. He had a lot of mail. 'Maybe I shouldn't have signed up for those other four lists?' He wondered. He recognized some of the names from the archive he had been reading. Others were a complete mystery. He popped open one email, about him and Buffy, and started laughing. Buffy looked over at him. "So, going to share?" She asked. He jumped slightly, but recovered quickly, and seized on a piece of junk mail instead. "Hey! We could get rich quick spamming unsuspecting idiots, and tricking them into sending us money. All we have to do is send this bloke $50 to get started." He chuckled. "I thought this thing said it filtered spam?" She had opened her inbox and was deleting junk mail also, and muttering. "I've got another email trying to sell me Viagra. Wanna Trade?" As the words left her mouth, she grimaced, and shook her head, not believing she had said that out loud. "Oi!" He said, looking up and glaring at her. "I'll have you know vampires don't suffer from human weaknesses like that." "Gee, aren't we a little defensive?" She smirked, trying to look like she was studying the computer. He leaned over towards her. She shivered involuntarily as his index finger traced down along her spine from her neck to her waist. He heard her pulse speed up as he whispered in her ear, "I'll have you know, in 120 plus years, I've never had any complaints." She swallowed as his cool breath caressed her neck. "Ooof!" He gasped as she elbowed him in the gut. "How would you know? You probably ate them before they could comment," she said smugly, trying to sound less shaky than she felt. He restrained his first impulse, and backed off a little. "Tell yourself whatever you like, Slayer. And when you're ready to find out for yourself exactly how wrong that essay was, just let me know." He saw her shiver again, and he smiled as he straightened up. He knew he was getting to her. It hadn't been his intention tonight. He'd just come over on business, a quick patrol, and then home to watch some telly, but he wasn't one to let an opportunity slip by. And she was in a mood to play too, as long as he didn't push too much, he reminded himself. He felt his ribs. They were barely bruised. If she had meant to she could have broken them with the slightest effort. 'Interesting,' he thought. He was glad he had pulled back when he did. Normally he would have just charged ahead, pushing and pushing until she became furious with him. But after reading so many messages all agreeing he needed to keep his foot out of his mouth, he had pulled back. And she hadn't tried to kill him, or even hurt him, much. Maybe these oracles really did have some answers for him? He needed to find out. He had seen messages going back and forth, and a lot of them had questions about him, or Buffy, or one of her friends, but where to begin? He needed answers without giving himself away. He had no idea if they would answer him. 'It's worth a try,' he thought, hitting reply to a message and starting to type. Subject: What should Spike do? It was simple, and to the point. Now for the message itself. He mulled it over for a while, and then chuckled as the obvious answer came to him. ------------- If you were writing to Spike, to tell him what to do to win Buffy over, what would you say to him? Please respond as soon as possible. This is urgent. Thank you, - William ------------- He looked it over for a moment. It wasn't his best work, but it should do. The mouse hovered over the button a moment, and then he clicked send. Now all he could do was wait. ~*~*~ He didn't have long to wait. By the time he had scrolled through a couple more websites, he had mail. ------------- From: Clare009, To: William If I were going to email Spike advice I would say? Dear Spike - Keep your big mouth shut. You're very pretty, but you blow it when you talk. (At least he did in As You Were.) Be good - at least for her sake. No more crazy 'Doctor' schemes. Don't tell her she has a dark side. Tell her you want to be where she is - in the light. Lie if you have to, damn it! *G* Good luck with your project. - Clare009 ------------- 'Again with the shutting up comments, what did I say that was so terrible? I mean, when I wasn't trying to kill her.' They were speaking in riddles, as he would expect. He shook his head, hit reply, and started typing. ------------- Re: Advice to Spike What has he said to her that was so bad? Since she's been back he's been on his best behavior. And! He didn't kiss her after that singing demon thing, SHE grabbed HIM. Very confused, - William ------------- He tapped on the keyboard and wondered how long this was going to take. Glancing to the side, he noticed Buffy was still consumed with whatever she was reading. Her heart rate and breathing had slowed back down, but she still looked tense. "Find anything interesting?" He asked. She jumped slightly at his voice. "They know Dawn is the key, they know Oz is a werewolf, and they know..." She paused, losing focus for a moment. 'They have a direct line into my fantasy life,' she thought. Shaking her head to clear those thoughts away, "They seem to know all about us." She flipped back to another page. "See," she said, pointing to one. He scooted over to see the screen, close enough to feel the warmth of her body. "They seem to just be gathering information. Looks harmless, aside from having a direct line into our lives," he added. She gulped as he used the same phrase. She was pretty sure she hadn't said that out loud. "I wonder if Warren and his buddies have anything to do with this?" She murmured, absorbed in her own thoughts. He watched her reading the screen. Her nose scrunched up as she tried to make sense out of it. "Speaking of that highly slanderous and incorrect essay comparing me and Captain Cardboard," Spike started. "What?" She asked, trying to concentrate on the screen, and trying not notice how close he was. "I was just wondering, is it really true you and him shagged like crazed weasels for a whole day?" He asked innocently. "What?" She gasped, her mouth falling open as a bright red blush came over her neck and face. "The house was possessed! *We* were possessed." "Right... You and Soldier-boy didn't get together, say when you were supposed to be out patrolling, and go at it for hours?" "What?" She exclaimed again, totally flustered and at a loss for words. "We never did anything like that. Never! It was just the house." "Ah, I see." He said with a self-satisfied smirk. "See, that's the difference between you," he lightly poked the inside of her shoulder with his finger, "and me," he said, indicating himself, "and good old Soldier-boy." "What?" She said, again, mentally kicking herself for not being able to say anything more articulate. "Slayers, that would be you," he said, touching her again, "and vampires, like me," he brought his hand back, never breaking eye contact, "we don't either of us need any extra mojo to keep going as long as we care to." She just stared at him, like a deer in the headlights. Her mind was a complete blank, or it had been until Spike's face suddenly replaced Riley's in that room in the Lowell House. It had been a long time - literally another lifetime. For a long moment, his eyes bored into hers as he sat waiting for a snide comeback, but she just stared back at him. He wondered if her next move would be to punch him, or as the moment stretched out, he wondered if she would grab him, and kiss him vigorously, as she'd done after the big group-sing. He watched her shake slightly as she breathed, listened to her heart racing, feeling the heat coming off of her in waves, pushing her scent into his nostrils. It was intoxicating. Not what he had expected for the evening at all. She still hadn't moved, and the lust he had sensed earlier was giving way to fear. He reached out his hand and she flinched. Continuing, he gently brushed a wisp of hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear, breaking their eye contact and allowing her to look away. "Just making conversation, Luv. No need to get all Slayer-like at me just cause I don't fancy Farm-boy." He said, giving her an escape, if she wanted it. "Thought I might nip into the kitchen and see if there's any of that hot chocolate left like your mum always used to make. You fancy some while I'm in there?" He asked, standing and keeping his back to her as he walked into the kitchen. "Yes, that would be nice. Thanks." She said, her voice lacking the coolness she was desperately trying to maintain. In the kitchen he chuckled quietly, "Anytime Slayer, anytime." TBC...