let me share in your secret mind;
allow me to grasp your wisdom.
Paint me a picture with your words;
show me what I walk blind past;
touch me with your power.
- Rose Johnson
Stepped through the shadows
onto the stage
The empty faces stacked before her
She opened her mouth to
speak the words that would spew forth
and drown them in a sea of self pity
Apon complesion she smiled and
stauntered off the stage
leaving behind
empty faces
that were but
now no longer.
you took your hands
placed them in a place where the music always plays
the words always meant so much
so personal yet so transferable it smothers me
take a breath and pause
the sights always the same
lies always unspoken
did you feel the pain
did you drink it, taste it so bitter, breathe it so deeply
the passion fuels a fire long since burnt
days roll on sweeping, i feel you near, you always were
shame, shame, the nights went by so fast
gather them in bunches, shame, where did it all go
beat the pain down into myself somewhere inside
a place you have never known, it's a shame...
where were you when i passed by you so quietly
could you feel my shadow
the lies and deception
i can't take it back
climb your mountain, i'll climb mine
shame, shame, the nights went by so fast
gather them in bunches, shame, where did it all go
beat the pain down into myself somewhere inside
a place you have never known, it's a shame...shame
Blackens the heart, and leaves within it a hole.
Love; it runs through the vains and seeps into the soul
Strengthens the heart, and fills the hole.
Or that.
If only I hadn't done this
Or that.
If only...
Inside my head you voice I keep
Reality's truth do I wallow
Your scent fills a heart, that is hollow"
The merry-go-round
of Life.
Only it doesn't stop,
Unless you jump off...
Landing on all that dwell below
Reflected light casts deep shadow shapes
Into the distance
Dampness fills the air
The taste sweet on my tongue
Like leaves on a tree
If they fall
The trees no more.
Shake the oppression pushing
me down into shallow
existence as around me
others succeed to grow and
burst though the glass
ceiling
they stretch and contort themselves
impatiently anticipating their future
to become part of this mad world
Light throws itself in mock exhaustion across the room
It's presence giving a relaxed aura as it languidly shifts around as
the sun changes position and the afternoon moves over
and the shadows shuffle past
of others in regard to that in which I am stretching and turning
inside out writing about.
It wonders if the object of the peice is understood or just a string of
uncomprehendable, meaningless words?
Because my common sense tells me complexity is feared by the
feeble mortal mind.
slow emotions wallow.
In eyes do stare
upon my own
entranced
eyes darted to and fro.
Alert and hungered her expansive mind
I'll never know...
Transformation does begin
Words are slurred and actions slow
Effects of abuse sense does not know
Drowning of sorrows commonly referred
Of pain inside that cannot be heard
Damage to the body is last on the list
But harm to the soul as it cease to exist
Split personalities born at drop inside
Sober Dr. Jeckyl; Drunk Mr. Hyde
A battle to be waged, fought and won
Put your faith in God, for you are His son
You owe it to noone but yourself
To break the bottle on the shelf
Another chance is yours to receive
In you; the reader, I do believe.
To a place in a time you have always known
The train of thought moves exceedingly fast
Answers to questions lay in the past
Close your eyes whisper sighs
Life implies...
A young boy weeps
at the death of his mum
His dad ran off with another one
Driven by hurt, pierced by pain
He stumbled along singing,
his mother’s song
Tears were stinging in his eyes
Another second, another dies
He runs up the path
straight to the top and cries
Another second, another dies
“Mum!”, he screams “I’m coming along!”
he jumps off the edge and falls
and sings his mother’s song
Tears were stinging in his eyes
Another second, another dies...
31/10/90
Weeping willow let your tears run free
I sit under you and you cover me
Sheltered here away from pain
To be alone, you keep me sane.
The wind whistles and blows through the trees
It lulls me to sleep, I am at ease
I lay on the grass and look through to the sky
This is the place where I am going to die
Under your leaves you whisper to me
Weeping willow let your tears run free
A face to make an angel smile
With your sense of humor;
and flamboyant style
A heart that is big and full of love
your tears fall like rain from above
Like a lost ship in the rough sea
You struggle on in hope to be free
If you keep moving towards the light
The Lord above will make everything right
Your faith will lift you up into the sky
And above everyone you will fly
Like a bird you will fly always
to be free
No longer a lost ship, in the sea
Slow deliberate actions go
unnoticed to an untrained eye slow
Poker face holds cards in hand
Observant in crowds does he stand
In moments solace tears do cry
Thoughts evoke questions of why
Playboy stance does he take
Behind a mask that is fake
Intensity probing mostly a game
Eventuates in situations same
Statements examined inside out
Actions pounce on arrival of doubt
Sense of humor does he possess
Towards a body he loathes to caress
Once cultivated he will go far
With eyes focused on that distant star
When someone asks you how you are feeling
Stop and think about it
I cannot put a feeling into words you may reply
A feeling is felt not to be explained
Or what are you thinking? a common one
I am thinking, about a thought
And a thought cannot be shared with another,
For it would then be spoken aloud, not inside
Lick my salty tears
Taste the sadness
Swallow my fears
Run your fingers down my face
Feel the roughness
Touch my heart and feel it race
Rub your legs up and down mine
Hold me tightly
You feel like home
Stoke my soft, fine hair
Inhale the sweet, clean scent
Let me kiss away your care
Complete is the ‘I’; in ‘I love you’
Aching fingers grasp to hold
A love so pure it has to be true.
Our love together subdued
By the fire laying together
Together, alone yet apart as one
Minds whirling, mixed emotions
Electricity filling the mood
Stars tears cried over years
Spotting the blackened sky
Blackened as this heart still beating
Slow but still alive with life
Words spoken yet meanings unknown
Arms embrace together feeling space
Infinite depth the heavens above
Stare down onto the bodies
By the fire laying together
Together alone, yet apart as one.
softly down wind carries message to me.
staring up at moon aglow.
she is embedded in heart. forfilled.
calmly splashing happiness over me.
words come to mind.
thoughts are slow an forever emcompasing.
drifting lilacs smell sweeter than rain.
memories wade through.
truth strides amongst guilt.
heads bow silently.
she is I.
I am she.
we are.
familar but unknown.
Oct 99
Although not very well
She likes to be alone it seems
To be alone away from the world
To listen to the people go by
On the sand she lays alone
Watching infinite stars in the sky
and the waves beat the shore
As the silence envelopes her
The silence deafens her ears
Pondering still she gets stuck in the sand
For waiting too long alone in the shadows
Of the moon above in the sky
Watching and waiting as the world passes her by.
My fingers tap words on a screen
that I shall never speak
my eyes read vast quantities of
conversation I will never hear
yet blatant disregard cast aside
the facts that reality holds
prisoner
Heart falls down flights of
stairs in a cyber land that
comes alive with the assistance
of a modem
Connections are made over
an infinite amount of space between
and excitement gives way to a yearning to touch,
feel and see
what the mind can only
imagine
Eyes wait in anticipation of reading
her simple name as when it does
the smile creeps slowly into
position
Friendships are made, distorted and then enveloped
with passionate
fury as we grapple to understand and
grasp this new way of evoking
feelings.
