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Disclaimer:
Aerosmith reference by Calliope - $ 20.
Use of Jareth, who doesn't belong to them - $ 1,000,000,000. (rough est.)
Caillean's butchering of Dickens - $ .50
Wreaking pure havoc with your friend in the spirit of Christmas…. Priceless.
Prologue: Deck the Halls
"Deck the halls with boughs of…. damn." Caillean turned and looked around the room. "There's no holly! How am I supposed to deck the halls without holly?"
Swerving around a multitude of goblins holding bunches of pine boughs and regarding her with matching expressions of frustration, the redhead made her way across the foyer to the front door. Opening it with a loud creak, she called outside.
"Calliope! We need holly!"
In a flash of light, the blonde muse appeared before her, holding a crystal.
"Now you want holly? Do you know how hard it was just to find mistletoe on Olympus?" She held up a small plant with white berries. "You never told me the damned thing was a parasite fungus. Now you think I'm going to find holly? What is that, a mold?"
"No, it's a evergreen which people hang in their homes to signify…" She stopped at the look of exasperation on her friend's face.
"You're really getting into this whole Christmas thing a little bit too much, don't you think?"
Caillean leaned against the door and sighed. "But it's my first Christmas here at Greywolf Manor, I want it to be special!"
"Oh, stop pouting, you look ridiculous." As Caillean's expression darkened, Calliope held up her hands in entreaty. "Look. There's a whole forest of pine out here surrounding the manor. Why don't you go and get some more of that stuff and fill up the house to your heart's content."
"Because," Caillean stared at her friend as if she were an imbecile, "I_need_holly."
"Well, there isn't any on Olympus, I've checked."
"There isn't any here either." Caillean gestured around her and began to pout once more. "Where am I going to find any?"
"You could always ask Jareth."
"Yeah, sure. Remember last week when I asked him if he wanted me to decorate the castle? He threw me out with no more than a 'bah, humbug'."
Calliope snorted. "He makes the Grinch look good."
Caillean looked at her friend with wide eyes. "Please?"
"Don't do the big googly eye thing with me, it won't work."
Since the "big googly eye thing" continued without abatement, Calliope sighed and threw up her hands once more. "I give up." She turned away with disgust. "I'm going home."
Caillean stood still for a moment in deep thought, and then smiled slyly at her friend's retreating back.
"You know," She mused. "I think there might be some holly in the Fey Kingdom."
Calliope stopped mid stride. "What was that?"
"Oh, nothing." Caillean shrugged as the muse turned to look at her. "I'll just go and ask Stephan if he can spare some holly. I'm sure if he has any, he'll be generous. Very generous."
She tried to hide her smile as Calliope came running back over to her.
"Wait." The blonde stopped inches away from Caillean. "I… ah… seeing as you're so busy with all the decorating and what not, I'll go."
"No, I can't ask you to do that." The smile was getting all the more difficult to keep in. "I mean, I know how much you hated having to go and find the mistletoe and all…"
Calliope had already pulled out one of her crystals. "No! I insist. I'll be back."
And, before Caillean could object once more, she disappeared in a flash of light.
Shaking her head and laughing, Caillean walked back over to the front door. She stared at it for a moment, and then frowned.
"Beezle!"
"Yes, my lady?" A goblin ran up to her.
"We don't have a wreath!"
A chorus of sighs followed her into the house.
* * * * *
Chapter One: Mistle…what?!?
"First mistletoe, now holly! Geez Caillean, do you have some sort of berry fetish?" The exasperated muse made a face at her reflection in the mirror. "Oh well, to each her own, I suppose," she said, idly twisting a sprig of mistletoe between her fingers. "I guess it is kind of pretty. For a fungus." With a shrug of her shoulders, she tucked the sprig behind her ear and disappeared in a cloud of purple glitter.
* * * * *
Stephan stood in the center of the great room, surveying the decorations. A smile of satisfaction spread across his face. Christmas always put him in a wonderful mood. Now if he could only convince Jareth to feel the same…
"Hiya Stephan!"
The Fey King gave a very un-kingly yelp and spun around. "Calliope!!!"
"Um, sorry?"
Stephan rolled his eyes. "Calliope, you know I love your visits, but must you always sneak up on me?"
The muse cocked her head to one side and pretended to think. "Hmm. Yeah, I think so. It's so much fun."
"You're impossible." Stephan gave the muse a sideways look. "And why do I get the feeling you'll take that as a compliment?" Calliope only grinned.
"So," Stephan continued, "what brings you to the Fey Kingdom? Last I heard, you and Caillean had ganged up on my brother and were trying to get him to decorate the castle. Any luck?"
"Nope. He's worse than Scrooge. And Caillean's no help, either. She spent the whole time sniping at him. Honestly, those two fight like an old married couple sometimes!" She shook her head. "They're two of a kind, but you'll never get *them* to admit it." The muse looked up at the Fey King. "It's so obvious that they care about each other. I just wish there was some way to get them to see it themselves."
"Maybe," Stephan said, dark eyes twinkling, "there *is* a way…"
She raised one eyebrow. "I'm listening."
* * * * *
Calliope collapsed on the floor, clutching her aching sides. "Oh, it's too perfect! I think I'm going to die laughing!! Stephan, where do you come up with these ideas?"
Stephan shrugged and held out a hand to help the muse up. "It's a gift. Now then, up and at 'em, my dear. We have a plan to hatch." He paused. "Calliope, what is that behind your ear?"
She reached a hand up. "Oh, this. I almost forgot about it. Just some fungus Caillean had to have for Greywolf Manor. I think it's called … uh … mistlefeet? Mistletoe? Something like that."
Stephan stifled a grin. "She didn't tell you what it was for?"
The muse shook her head. "Nope. I just assumed she needed it for a wreath or something. Oh, speaking of, I almost forgot. I was supposed to get some holly." She laughed. "Caillean sure does like weird plants…" Calliope trailed off as she realized that Stephan had been slowly pulling her closer while she spoke. "Stephan? What are you doing?"
"It's an old earth tradition," he said, deftly plucking the mistletoe from behind her ear and holding it high above her head, where it remained, floating. "People would hang sprigs from the ceiling or doorways."
Calliope looked puzzled. "But why? I mean, it's kind of a funny looking plant. I can think of better things to decorate with."
The Fey King gave a soft chuckle. "Oh, I don't know. I think it has its merits," he said, releasing her hand and sliding his arm around her waist. With his other hand, he gently cupped the back of her neck. "You see, when a couple meets under the mistletoe, it's customary for them to share a kiss."
"…kiss?" Calliope managed to squeak before his warm lips descended upon hers.
Sensations raced through Calliope's mind, all of them centering on a single thought:
Wow.
When Stephan finally drew back, Calliope was limp. "Now then, about that holly?" he asked with a satisfied grin. But she could only stare, eyes glazed.
For the first time in her immortal life, Calliope, Labyrinth Muse; Firstborn of Zeus and Mnemosyne, was speechless.
* * * * *
Caillean looked up as four goblins wove ropes of pine garland (and themselves) through the banister of the grand staircase in Greywolf Manor. With a small smile, she hummed a few bars of her favorite holiday carol.
"You all are doing great!" She called out in encouragement. Walking across the room, Caillean picked up a small leather bound journal. Flipping through the pages she glanced around the room.
"Okay, we have pine, mistletoe, pepperberry wreaths, and poinsettias. I still need holly, stockings, and a tree for the main foyer. Maybe Stephan can help with that." She looked up.
"Beezle!"
"Yes, m'lady?"
"Run over to Fey Kitchens and pick up these ingredients, please." She handed the diminutive goblin a list. "We're going to do a bit of cooking ourselves this year."
The goblin looked down at the list, then turned it over and read the back as well. "But… this is a lot of ingredients…."
Caillean smiled. "We'll be having a Christmas feast!"
All the goblins within earshot heard the word "feast" and broke into cheering. Caillean broke into laughter, and did a little dance around one goblin carrying a bunch of holly.
Wait a minute.
She stopped dancing.
"Holly?"
Laughter sounded from the doorway. "Yes, we brought holly. And a Yule log, and some other things that Stephan insists are good for Christmas but I've never heard of."
Caillean merely watched with wide eyes as Calliope walked into the room on the arm of Stephan, followed by a horde of fairy-folk carrying all sorts of decorations.
"Oh my."
Stephan laughed. "I had a bit extra left over, so I figured you might be interested in making use of it all." He held out his arms as Caillean ran to him, bestowing a hug to him, and then Calliope.
Caillean briefly wondered why her friend's hug was stiff. It couldn't be because she had just hugged Stephan…. No, that wasn't possible.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a more familiar - and unwelcome - voice. "How droll."
Caillean spun around. "Jareth? What are *you* doing here? And, for that matter, who do you think you are, trespassing on my property?"
The Goblin King shook his head slowly and leaned against a doorframe. "When my brother and that Muse show up without warning, you never complain." When she opened her mouth to protest he held up one elegant hand. "No, let's not argue today, I didn't come to fight."
Caillean's mouth gaped with surprise. "That's a first."
"You're not exactly an angel towards me either, you know."
"Yes, but you always start it."
"I do not, you little… ahem." Jareth shook his head. "Like I said. I did not come here to fight."
"Oh? Then what, pray tell, *did* you come here for?"
Jareth opened his lips to speak, when a flash of light filled the room, and about fifty pounds of holly came crashing down on him.
Stephan burst out laughing. "Jareth, I didn't know how in the spirit you were!"
The Goblin King glared at this brother. "Stephan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say…"
"Ho ho ho!"
Caillean stopped laughing when the jolly laugh rang out. Swinging around, she came face to face with an older gentleman who was dressed head to toe in red and green velvet. She looked at him for a moment, clearly perplexed, then queried:
"Santa?"
He smiled. "Yes, it is I! My dear Lady Caillean, what a wonderful job you have done, decorating your home this year. Truly, these halls haven't been festive for many years now. I shall certainly leave wonderful gifts for you and your goblin friends."
Caillean smiled in surprise as her goblins jumped up and down in joy.
The little old man walked over to the pile of holly; from which a Goblin King emerged, and shook his head.
"You, however, won't get a single gift."
"What?" Jareth asked, incredulous. "I am the King!"
"I'm sorry son, but only good boys and girls get Christmas presents. And you haven't done a good deed in… let me see." Out of thin air, a parchment appeared. "Yes, yes. You haven't done a good deed since 1659, when you allowed Janie to keep her little brother."
Jareth looked perplexed. "Janie?"
His brother stifled a groan. "You remember. She had a gun…"
"Oh, yes." The Goblin King winced. "Her whole world had come undone. I suppose she was never gonna be the same."
Caillean and Calliope, meanwhile, had been listening to the exchange with identical looks of surprise. "Wait a minute, Santa." Calliope interrupted. "You mean Jareth's not going to get *anything* this year?"
Santa regarded her sadly. "I'm afraid not."
"But that's not fair!" Calliope groaned. "Why do I keep saying that?! Oh, come on, Santa, Jareth's a good person." She turned to her friend for support. "Right, Caillean?"
But no help was forthcoming from that quarter. In fact, Caillean seemed to be struggling to keep from laughing.
"Oh, this is rich!" She muttered.
The muse looked at her in disbelief. "You're not upset? At all?!? But don't you think this is *incredibly* unfair?"
She never paused to think. "No. He deserves it."
Calliope took one look at her friend's impassive expression and exploded. "Well! That's just perfect, isn't it? Y'know, for someone who's been trying to teach me about Christmas and the spirit of giving, you're doing a remarkable job of not showing any!" And with that, the fuming muse disappeared in a swirl of purple glitter.
"Wow," Jareth remarked, watching the last bits of glitter settle on the ground, "she was really upset."
"I know." Caillean looked shocked. After a long moment spent looking at Jareth, she sighed. "Well, I guess we don't have any choice, do we?" She turned to face the jolly old elf. "Ok, Santa, what do we have to do to get Jareth a present this year?"
Now it was Jareth's turn to look shocked. " 'We?' You mean you're going to help?"
"I've seen Calliope mad. I don't want to be on the receiving end of an irate muse. She is an immortal. I am not."
Jareth snorted softly. "I might have known you would be doing this for your own end."
"And what is *that* supposed to mean?"
Stephan stepped between the pair. "Oh, come on, can't you two stop bickering for five seconds?" He shook his head. " Nevermind. I'm going to find Calliope."
As it turned out, he didn't have far to go. Within seconds, the Fey King appeared beside the muse, who had been hiding on the second floor landing. He gave her the high sign and the two resumed listening to the conversation below.
Santa smiled. "It's quite simple, my dear. You must find something good about Jareth."
"Oh, is that all?" Caillean gave a short laugh.
"I know it sounds difficult, but you will have help. Tonight, you will be visited by three goblins: the Goblin of Christmas Past, the Goblin of Christmas Present and the Goblin of Christmas Future…"
And up on the second floor, one Fey King and one Labyrinth Muse dissolved into fits of silent laughter and slowly disappeared.
* * * * *
Chapter Two: Another Sleepless Night…
"It worked!!" Calliope did a little dance around the Fey King. "It worked, it worked, it worked!!!"
Stephan merely smiled. "You doubted it would?"
Calliope laughed. "Well, no, but still…" She snorted. "Did you see the look on Jareth's face? It was priceless! Absolutely priceless!!" The Labyrinth muse sighed. "But I suppose I have to be getting back now. I promised Caillean I'd help her finish decorating Greywolf Manor." She pulled out a crystal and prepared to leave.
Stephan grabbed the crystal. "Wait a minute. You're supposed to be mad at Caillean, remember?"
"Oh, damn. I forgot." Calliope frowned. "Thanks for reminding me. Oh well, I guess I'll just head back to my cottage." She turned.
Stephan thought furiously for a moment, and then grabbed her arm. "Or you could stay here. Join me for dinner and then I could take you for a ride in the countryside. It's really lovely this time of year." The Fey King smiled. "You don't have snow on Olympus, do you?"
"No."
"Then it's settled." He held out an arm and gave a short bow. "Will you join me for dinner, my lady?"
Calliope giggled and dropped into an exaggerated curtsey. "I would love to, kind sir."
And with that, the pair walked, arm in arm, into the dining room.
* * * * *
Elsewhere in the Underground, things were not nearly so cheerful.
"Caillean, would you please stop snoring?!?"
The lump of blankets on the couch stirred. "I do not snore."
"Fine then, whatever." Sounds of creaking bedsprings could be heard and then all was silent again.
For a minute or so, anyways.
"Caillean, for the last time, Would. You. Stop. Snoring!?"
"Jareth, for the last time, I. Do. Not. Snore!"
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Um, excuse me?"
Both Caillean and Jareth sat bolt upright. "Who said that?"
"Uh, me."
Jareth rolled his eyes. "And who, pray tell, is ' uh, me?'"
There was a pause and then the sound of paper rustling. "Er, sorry to bother you, your highness, but could you please turn on the lights?"
The Goblin King gave a very put-upon sigh and conjured a crystal. Instantly, the bedchambers were brightly lit.
Squinting against the sudden brightness, Caillean stared at their visitor. A small goblin, wrapped in what appeared to be a length of white tulle, was standing in the doorway, reading a piece of parchment.
"I….am….the…Goblin…of…Christmas…Past…come…to…visit…you…this…Christmas…Eve."
"Jareth, how in the world did I let you drag me into this?" Caillean groaned and burrowed back under the covers.
Which promptly disappeared.
"Now, now. Can't have you going back to sleep. If I have to put up with this, so do you!" Jareth turned to face the small goblin in the door. "Let's get on with it. The sooner we start, the sooner…" The king trailed off as loud footsteps were heard coming down the hall. "Oh, what now?!"
Caillean stifled a laugh as a very tall and very round goblin wearing a moth-eaten robe appeared behind the first goblin. "If my memory of Dickens serves, I would guess this is the Goblin of Christmas Present."
The King of the Goblins buried his face in his hands and moaned.
* * * * *
"Oh, it's lovely, just beautiful!" Calliope snuggled deeper under the warm blanket as the horse-drawn sleigh crested the snow-covered hilltop. She looked out over the countryside, at the tall pine trees covered perfectly in snow. Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, Calliope turned to her escort.
It was funny, but she had never really noticed just how handsome Stephan was. Sure, he was attractive enough with his dark hair and green eyes, not to mention his physique…. wait. Don't want to think about that right now.
There was something else about him though, something she hadn't noticed before. Stephan thoroughly enjoyed life. He was always conscious of the beauty in things, and in the world around him. How had he become so different from his brother?
"A penny for your thoughts." Stephan smiled down at the muse.
"What? Oh… nothing. I… that is, I was just thinking."
"About?"
She looked up to meet his green gaze. "Oh, just the eyes… I mean the trees. They're very green…nice."
"Yes." He smiled. "They are."
"Yes, well…" Calliope could feel a blush steal across her cheeks. Trying not to let him see, she reached up and tugged on a passing branch. A bit of snow dropped from the pine into her lap. She gazed down at it for a moment, and then a small smile lit her eyes.
At the next turn, Calliope casually lifted her arm and tugged on a branch. She got it at just the right moment, and a cascade of snow fell on Stephan's head. She had meant to pretend nothing amiss had occurred, but the expression on his face sent her into a peal of giggles.
He studied her for a moment with a mock frown, and then grumbled. "Minx."
He pulled the horses to a stop.
* * * * *
"Wait a minute." Aren't you all supposed to show up *after* one another?" Caillean looked at the three goblins standing before Jareth's bed.
"Well…" The Goblin of Christmas Present shrugged. "We weren't sure which one should go first."
"Yes." The Goblin of Christmas Future nodded. "We figured that you'd be able to tell us who goes first."
Jareth and Caillean exchanged a look. Shrugging his shoulders, Jareth kicked away his bedcovers and stood up. "I believe the story goes that you take me…"
"Ahem."
"Us…" he corrected with a gesture to Caillean. "Take us to my past."
"Oh." The Goblin of Christmas Past nodded. "Okay then."
Caillean suddenly felt her stomach fill with butterflies. Her vision blurred and the floor slipped out from under her feet.
The next moment, her vision cleared, and she found herself in a large stone chamber. Glancing around herself, she took in the wall coverings of deep tapestry and the floor rugs of rich velvet and furs.
Then she turned and saw Jareth.
Choking back a giggle, she looked at his doublet and pantaloons that could only have come from the early Elizabethan period of England.
"Stop staring." He growled. "At least your legs are covered… although the rest of you..." His grimace turned into something akin to a leer.
Caillean looked down at herself.
Oh dear.
Caillean had never considered herself a well-endowed woman, but what she did have was fairly pouring out of the top of her dress.
Nearly blushing a shade to match her hair, Caillean avoided Jareth's gaze and merely turned to the Goblins of Christmas.
"We're supposed to be observing, not participating."
They looked back at her with equally blank stares. "But this is the past." One of them chirped. "You have to fit in."
Jareth shook his head in frustration. "Are you saying that we can be *seen*?"
At that moment, a younger version of Jareth, perhaps ten or twelve years of age, walked around the corner and spotted the intruders.
"Who the devil are you?"
Caillean and Jareth exchanged looks of dismay.
Taking a deep breath, Caillean stepped forward.
* * * * *
"Why you…" Calliope, already covered in a fair amount of snow, picked up another snowball and launched it towards the Fey King.
Neatly dodging the ball, Stephan ran forward and grabbed the muse's arms. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He laughed and pulled her into a bank, covering them both in snow.
Calliope landed with a shriek, nearly on top of him and the two rolled about in the snow, the muse eventually ending up sandwiched between a snowdrift and the very warm body of the Fey King. After a moment, their laughter faded, and she found herself staring rather intently into his green eyes.
"Are you cold?" He asked after a moment.
"A little," she said, smiling coyly. When Stephan shifted to stand and help her up, she grabbed his hand and gave a quick twist, pulling the startled king back to the ground. Another roll and she was on top of him. She scooped up a handful of snow. Smiling innocently, she regarded the Fey King. "Now then, what are we going to do with you?"
Stephan smiled back. "My dearest muse, I think perhaps the question should be what are we going to do with *you*."
"Huh?"
Another twist and a roll had their positions reversed. Calliope yelped as Stephan very calmly began shaping a snowball. Grinning wickedly, he gently tossed it from hand to hand.
Calliope wriggled ineffectively beneath the king. "Stephan, please…" She managed to free her arms and tried to steal the snowball. The Fey King laughed. "Really, now, do you think I'd let you get away *that* easily?" He grabbed her wrists with his free hand, trapping them above her head. He grinned. "Now what are you going to do?"
"Um, close my eyes, cringe, and wish it was summer?"
* * * * *
"Go ahead, your highness. Tell him who we are."
The Goblin King growled low in his throat. "I will get you back for this." When Caillean only smiled sweetly at him, he stepped towards the young boy. "I am Jareth, King of -"
"No, you're not."
Jareth looked at the younger Jareth. "I beg your pardon?"
"*I'm* Jareth. My father told me it was an original name. So you can't be Jareth. And you don't look like a king to me." He folded his arms.
Caillean laughed. "Boy, J, you haven't changed at all!"
The young king turned to face the redhead, looking her up and down. "You, on the other hand, can be whomever you like." He smiled suggestively.
She rolled her eyes. "Haven't changed a bit!" Caillean turned to face the goblins. "Can't you *do* something about this? We could be changing history, for all you know!"
The three goblins looked at each other in confusion. "Uhh…"
Caillean sighed. "Look, why don't you just transport Jareth and I back to the present and we'll discuss it there."
The Goblin of Christmas Past smiled. "I can do that!" There was a bright flash of light and the group reappeared in the king's bedchambers.
"Thank you." Caillean said, with obvious relief. "Now then," she said, turning to face the king.
"Damn." Grinning widely at her was Jareth…age 12.
Meanwhile, back in the past…
"CAILLEAN!!!!!"
* * * * *
Chapter Three: Setting the Story Straight
Calliope struggled ineffectually to free herself from Stephan's strong grasp. Scrunching her eyes shut, she squeaked. "Stephan, don't. I'm covered with enough snow as it is and it's freezing out here!"
"Ok."
Calliope's eyes flew open only to quickly shut again as she found herself nose to nose with the Fey King.
She licked her lips nervously. "Stephan…?"
"Shh." He placed a finger over her lips. "Listen." Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted. Snowflakes gently caressed her face as Stephan moved his hand to brush her cheek. Leaning close, he softly pressed his lips against hers. A sigh of pure pleasure escaped her as Calliope slid into the kiss.
She never noticed his hands release her arms nor did she notice when her own hands slid up to entangle themselves in his dark brown hair.
The kiss lasted forever and was over too soon. Reluctantly, the pair separated and Calliope snuggled close to the Fey King.
It was only then that she opened her eyes.
And realized they were floating several feet above the ground. "Um, Stephan?"
"Yes, love?"
"Look down."
"Oh dear." Stephan sighed. "Are you doing that or am I?"
Calliope carefully extracted herself from his warm embrace. With a yelp, Stephan dropped like a rock, landing with an explosion of snow. Calliope giggled. "Whoops. Must have been me," she said as she gently floated to the ground.
"Minx."
The muse smiled sweetly. "You said that already."
* * * * *
"Well now, this is more like it!" The young boy grinned at the furiously blushing redhead and started towards her.
"Back off, pipsqueak!" Caillean said, grabbing a pillow off of the bed and brandishing it. "Unless you want to eat feathers!"
"Ooh, a feisty one. I like that in a woman."
"Jareth!!!! I'm going to KILL you!!!"
"Do you know who you are speaking to?" He adopted a haughty tone more suitable to an adult. "I am the eldest son of an Earl. One day, I shall be Lord Cecil." He looked at her once again. "You should bow to me, you know."
"Bow?" Her eyes narrowed. "Look here, you little brat…."
Before she could finish, her vision blurred once more, and she and Little Jareth disappeared from the room.
* * * * *
"Look. There isn't a book of rules. Dickens wrote the blasted story. It didn't come with an instruction manual! Just make us invisible to all the people we visit."
The three Goblins looked at one another and conversed quietly. Finally, the Goblin of Christmas Past came forward.
"We think we can do that, but we need to bring back the Lady and your younger self."
"Yes. Bring them back now."
A flash of light later, Caillean and Little Jareth appeared in the room. Caillean looked rather like she was about to strangle his younger self, so Jareth stepped forward and took her arm. "Welcome back, my dear."
"Oh no, not you too!" She threw off his arm and stepped back. "I don't want either of you coming near me!"
Jareth sighed. "Well. I suppose we should get back to business. Okay, Goblin of….oh for heaven's sake, do you have a name?"
"Sure. I'm Past, he's Present, and he's Future."
"I should have known. Okay then, um, Past. Why don't you help us try to find something good that I have done in my childhood."
"Oh my." Future mused. "Have you done anything nice?"
Caillean giggled. "This should be interesting." She turned and noticed that the younger version of Jareth was wandering around the room looking intently at the walls. "What's wrong with him?"
Jareth smiled. "We're invisible to him now."
"Oh, good. It's about time."
"Why? I thought you would be flattered." He directed a well-placed glance to her bosom.
"Jareth…"
"All right." He laughed. "Let's get on with it."
The group walked out of the room into the grand castle of Queen Elizabeth.
* * * * *
"How do you think they're doing?"
Stephan shrugged. "I don't know, really. He's done a lot of nice things in the past - but I doubt the goblins will actually take them to those times. They didn't seem to know up from down, come to think of it." He picked up a poker and began to tend to the fire. "What will we do if they can't find a good deed?"
Calliope pulled the fur wrap around her more snugly. "I don't know, make up something?"
"Or create something?" Stephan smiled.
"Ooh. I like how you think."
* * * * *
"My time is coming to a close tonight." Past piped up as Jareth looked out over the sea of people in the Regency ballroom. "Perhaps Present can help you find a good deed."
"But," Caillean interrupted. "We've only been through three centuries. We have at least two more to go!" She smiled ruefully. "Besides, I'd like to dance. Could you just make me visible for awhile?" She looked down at her period correct gown and dancing slippers with longing.
"I am sorry." The goblin shook his head. "We learned the hard way with making you visible."
Jareth looked over at Caillean. Her forest green dress was lovely. It had lovely silver braiding for trim, which brought out the brilliance of her gray eyes. The effect was much more stunning than the earlier, more revealing gown. In fact…
"Oh, what the hell."
"Excuse me?" Caillean turned.
"Would you care to dance with me?" He asked.
Caillean gaped at him, shocked. "Dance? With you?"
Past and Present looked at each other and nodded. "You can dance for a bit, if you wish." Present smiled. "We have a few moments before turning to the present."
"I do know how to dance, you know." Jareth smiled.
"Well, I ah…" Caillean looked out across the ballroom wistfully. "I *would* love to dance…"
He took her hand, booking no argument. "Then let's go."
He led her out onto the floor.
* * * * *
The three Goblins watched their King and Lady Caillean gracefully move to the sounds of the waltz. With a sigh, Present shook his head. "They do make a handsome couple."
Past nodded. "Yes, it would be nice to know if…" He broke off as he and Present looked questioningly at Future.
"Oh no. I'm not telling."
* * * * *
Calliope sipped her hot cider and stared into the fireplace. "You know, if something were to happen to you - Jareth would certainly come running to help."
Stephan nodded, scooting a little closer to where the muse sat in his study. "Yes, if something happened to any of us. But then again, we both have magic. We should be able to get out of trouble without too much of a problem."
"Caillean can't." She replied in an offhand manner, then turned and looked at Stephan.
"No." He smiled widely. "She can't."
* * * * *
Chapter Four: Who Said Tomorrow Never Comes?
They danced in comfortable silence for a few moments, and then Caillean looked up at the Goblin King and smiled shyly. "Thank you for dancing with me."
"It's nothing, really." He swept her into another graceful turn. "I don't suppose you can come up with anything nice from the Past, can you?"
"Jareth, we met the younger you - who gawked at me and told me to bow to him. Then we saw you visiting the human realm during the American Revolution. Not a lot of help there."
"I'm British, what did you expect?"
"Then, we traveled here to the Regency. I can't believe you actually abducted a woman, took her to Gretna Green, then left her there!"
"I did not abduct her, she abducted me!" His look was indignant.
"It certainly didn't look that way."
"Well…" He frowned. "I did give her money to get back to London."
"And ruined her reputation."
"Hardly!" Jareth laughed. "She immediately married her true love, if I'm not mistaken."
Caillean looked at him and smiled. "But that had nothing to do with you. Her true love asked her to marry him in spite of her ruined reputation… and because of her great fortune."
"Are you enjoying finding fault with me?"
Caillean looked around.
"Jareth, the music has ended."
He pulled her a bit closer and continued dancing. "Don't you remember? They can't see us?"
"No - but we can." Past piped up. "It's time for you to return to the present." Before they could object, a bright light surrounded them, and they disappeared…
…Only to reappear in the study of Stephan's castle. There, wrapped in a warm fur blanket, sat the King of the Fey and Calliope. Sitting awfully close, actually. Strains of their conversation drifted towards them.
"…But if Jareth goes to rescue her, then what should we do about the Goblins…."
"… Why don't we drop her into the Bog…"
Caillean's eyes widened. "What the hell are you two plotting!?!"
Jareth laid a hand on her arm. "Don't you remember? They can't see or hear us."
"Oh." She looked around for a moment. "Right." A wicked grin spread across her face. "This could get interesting."
* * * * *
"Ew! Don't you think that's a *little* extreme?" Calliope stared at the Fey King. "We want it to appear that she's in danger, not scar her for life!"
Stephan laughed. "Just brainstorming. But seriously, we have to come up with something."
The Labyrinth Muse frowned. "Hmm…" She snapped her fingers. "I've got it!"
"Do tell."
Caillean and Jareth exchanged a glance. "Yes, do."
"Ok, here's the idea: Caillean knows what a reputation my father Zeus has for being a 'ladies man.' So, what if Zeus should just happen to develop a little crush on our favorite redhead and decide to come whisk her away to Olympus with him?"
Stephan looked skeptical. "I remember your last meeting with Zeus. Are you so sure he'd be willing to play along?"
Calliope shook her head impatiently. "But that's just it. We won't actually use Zeus. You've got magic. Be creative."
"Ooh, very nice. I think I could like this. After all, it's not every day you get to become the King of the Gods."
The muse snorted. "Don't let it go to your head."
* * * * *
Present cleared his throat. "Well, as interesting as this all is, we do have to be going now. It's Future's turn to have a go at it.
"Wait, I want to hear the rest of the plan!" Caillean grabbed Present's arm.
"I *said* we have to go *now*." The goblin looked annoyed. "Y'know, getting attacked was never part of the job description." He turned to his two compatriots. "We're going to have to have a talk with those two when this is all over with. I don't care how many chickens they're giving us!"
Jareth's eyes narrowed. "What did you just say?"
"I said we're … oops."
Jareth looked archly at Caillean. "It appears our little friends have been busy."
"Indeed. That probably wasn't even the real Santa!" Caillean pouted.
Meanwhile, Past was berating Present. "You twit! What'd you have to go and say *that* for? Now we're going to get in trouble from everyone!"
Present looked indignant. "It slipped! I didn't mean to." He glared at Past. "Besides, at least I knew enough to make them invisible!"
The small goblin hopped up and down. "Ooh! That was mean!"
Future looked impatient. "Right, right, can we get on with this, please? I haven't had a turn yet!"
Goblin and human alike turned on him. "Oh, be quiet!"
"Well!" Future huffed.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room…
"Did you hear something?" Calliope sat up.
The Fey King frowned. "No. Why?"
"Because I would swear I just heard Caillean's voice…" The muse shook her head. "But that's impossible." She paused. "Unless -"
But she never got a chance to finish her thought as the room was enveloped in a swirling gray mist.
"I said it's my TURN!!" Future cried. And with a wave of his short arm, one Goblin King, one red-haired mystic, one Fey King, three goblins and a Labyrinth Muse disappeared…
…Reappearing in the next day.
"Oh dear. That wasn't supposed to happen."
Jareth snorted. "You can say that again."
Past stifled a chuckle. "Smooth move, Future."
"Hey, I was under a lot of pressure…"
Calliope broke in. "Hi, hello, um, could somebody *please* tell me what exactly is going on here? One minute, I'm enjoying a lovely evening with a charming and gracious host and the next, I'm -" She paused, looking around. "Ok, where exactly am I?"
Future looked uncomfortable. "Er, perhaps the better question would be *when* are you."
The Fey King looked at him sharply. "Excuse me?!"
"Well, um, you see, we were, um, that is…"
"He screwed up!" Past chimed in cheerfully.
Present stepped between the two glowering goblins. "We were in the present and they had just overheard your plans to trick Jareth. Caillean got mad when I said we had to go and then Future started complaining he hadn't gotten his turn yet and…" He waved his hands vaguely in the air. "Poof!"
"Oh, I see." Calliope fixed the goblin with a cold stare, mimicking his hand signals. "Just 'poof'?"
He nodded enthusiastically.
"Uh-huh. And how is it that Jareth and Caillean ended up in Stephan's study?"
Present smiled proudly. "I took 'em there!"
"Uh-huh." She said again. The muse turned to face the Fey King. "We never should have used goblins."
"Indeed, you shouldn't have." Caillean said dryly from behind her.
Oops. Forgot about Caillean.
Calliope cringed and slowly turned to face the glowering redhead. "Caillean, I'm sorry."
"I just have one question for you."
"And that is…?"
"What the hell were you THINKING?!?!"
Self-preservation won out over loyalty and the muse pointed at the Fey King. "It was Stephan's idea!"
"Oh *really*?" Both Caillean and Jareth turned to the blushing man.
Stephan gave the muse a sideways glance. "Thanks."
She smiled. "Anytime."
Jareth stepped forward. "Perhaps you would like to explain?"
"Well, you see… Caillean was trying so hard to enjoy her first Christmas at Greywolf Manor, and you seemed set against having a speck of cheer enter your life." He looked to see his brother glaring at Caillean. "No, no. She didn't have anything to do with this. Calliope and I thought we could teach you a lesson. And when Caillean didn't want to help, we thought we'd teach her one as well."
"Practice what you preach, my dear." Jareth smirked at her.
"Shut up, your majesty." Caillean retorted, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
Calliope frowned. "Okay, so now what? We're in the future, how do we get back to our past… I mean present?"
Future shook his head. "Oh no. Our contract states we must show Jareth his future. Granted, I expected to go much further into the future, but since we're here, I might as well show you around." And before anyone could object, he waved his arm, and they disappeared.
* * * * *
Chapter Five: Grapes and Whine
Calliope blinked her violet eyes and looked around her. They were standing outside what looked like a cottage with grape vines growing all around it. Even though it was the middle of winter, large grape clusters weighed down the vines. She reached up and plucked a grape, popping it into her mouth. After a moment, she nodded.
"This is Olympus."
Caillean looked over at the Muse. "Oh… so *this* must be what you and Stephan were planning. To pretend Zeus abducted me." She watched a blush creep up her friend's neck. "I'll admit making it seem like Olympus is a nice touch, Stephan, but really." She walked up to the front door and grabbed the handle.
"What are you doing?" Stephan ran forward and grabbed her arm before she could open the door.
"Scared at what we'll find?"
Jareth noticed the look of challenge in her stormy eyes. He also noticed the look of pure fear on his brother's face. "Stephan may have a point, you know."
"How?" Now the defiant gaze turned on the Goblin King. "It's not like they can see us." With that, she opened the door, stepping into the house.
Calliope and the brothers exchanged a look. "I guess we had better follow her."
Stephan, now beet red, shook his head. "I still don't think this is a good idea."
Past and Present smiled. Future shook his head and laughed. "The future is what you make of it. This is just one possibility."
"Now *that* sounds more like Dickens." Jareth smiled and followed Calliope into the house.
The scene that met them was shocking, to say the least. Caillean - the future Caillean - lounged on a chaise clothed in diaphanous robes of green. Stephan averted his eyes. Jareth couldn't help but stare. Calliope looked at her friend in something akin to anger. Caillean just blushed brighter than her hair. Then, she shot an accusing look at Stephan.
"I… ah… I think I'm going to go outside for a moment."
Jareth frowned deeply at his brother. "I'll go with you."
They left the two women in the room, staring incredulously at the future Caillean. "You knew about the prank."
"Yes." Calliope hung her head.
"You helped *plan* the damned thing."
"Yes."
"You made me look like an idiot just so you could spend a little time with Stephan!"
Calliope lifted her hands. "Now, I wouldn't go that far."
"Where are you, wench?"
The bellowing voice startled both women. "What was that?" Caillean asked.
The Muse's eyes widened. "It's Zeus."
"You mean Stephan." Caillean smiled as she watched her double stand up from the couch. Okay, maybe the gown was a bit sheer. She would have to have a discussion with Stephan about that one. Zeus stormed into the room.
"Ah, there you are my pretty little thing. How are you enjoying my cottage of love?"
"Marvelous, your kingliness." The Future-Caillean simpered. "I absolutely *adore* this gown."
Caillean giggled. "I'm so obvious."
"Um… Caillean?" Calliope tapped her shoulder.
Caillean turned away from watching her own bad theatrics and regarded the Muse, who seemed to have a very deer-in-the-headlights kind of look about her.
"What?"
"That's really Zeus."
* * * * *
"I think you have even more explaining to do, brother." Jareth nearly growled at his sibling. "To think you would dress her in such… such…"
" I certainly didn't plan on doing that. Maybe I did it to keep her from being suspicious. You know I would never…" At the look on his brother's face, he stopped. "Maybe you don't. But I wouldn't." He suddenly smiled. "I recognized that look Jareth. I think you blushed."
"I most certainly did! For her own modesty!"
"Oh please. When is the last time you ever admitted to feeling sorry for a woman? Especially one who's half clothed?" Stephan stopped, and smiled evilly. "Especially Caillean, half clothed."
"I'm going back in there. We have seen enough." He walked back to the door.
"Not nearly." Stephan couldn't help saying it.
Laughing at the way Jareth's back straightened; he followed him into the house.
* * * * *
"Why is Stephan standing in the doorway?" Caillean looked across the room, puzzled as the man walked in. "I thought he was outside."
"Aren't you listening to me?" The muse was practically frantic. "That's really Zeus!!!"
Caillean shot her a dirty look. "Oh do shut up! Don't you think you've meddled enough? Besides, why would I *possibly* believe you now?"
"But I'm telling the truth. I know Zeus and THAT'S REALLY HIM!!!"
The redhead rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh, yeah."
"But..."
"Ladies, ladies, can we break it up here?" The King of the Fey stepped between the two women.
Wait a minute.
The King of the Fey?
Caillean did a quick double take. Yes, Stephan was standing right in front of her, holding her arm. And over there, another Stephan was standing in the doorway. That meant…
"Oh hell."
"I *told* you it was the real Zeus!"
Jareth looked confusedly at the two women. "What?"
Calliope sighed. "Stephan didn't kidnap her. That man," she pointed at the King of the Gods, "isn't you! And Caillean is in real danger if we don't figure something out - and fast!"
* * * * *
Future-Caillean smirked as Zeus left the room. If Calliope and Stephan could only see her now…
"Psst!"
She frowned at the interruption. "Who's there?"
A rather sheepish looking Fey King emerged from a doorway off to her left.
"Stephan!" she hissed. "What are you doing here?"
"Saving you, I suppose. Caillean, look, don't ask me why, but you've got to get out of here! Now!"
"Oh really? And why would that be?"
Stephan cringed. "Right, well, Calliope and I sort of planned this, you being kidnapped by Zeus. Only I was supposed to be playing Zeus -"
"I know."
"But somehow - you know?"
Caillean smiled. "Jareth and I overheard your plans."
The Fey King managed to look both relieved and frantic. "But something went wrong and that's really Zeus!"
"Oh right! Like I'm supposed to believe that!" She laughed. "I'm truly impressed, Stephan. You're a much better actor that I would have thought."
"WHO IS THIS?!?"
Caillean jumped at the voice. Slowly, she turned to face a glowering King of the Gods. "Nice trick, Stephan! And who is this, one of your fairy-folk?"
Zeus frowned. "Foolish girl, I am the Zeus, King of the Gods and ruler of this land!"
"Uh-huh, yeah. And I'm the Goddess of Wisdom."
* * * * *
Present-Calliope cringed. "Y'know, sometimes I think *you* should have been the blond one!"
Caillean looked indignant. "What do you mean by that?!"
"Athena's his favorite daughter. Think about it."
"Oh." Caillean sighed. "I never could keep your family straight."
* * * * *
"You dare make a mockery of my daughter?" Zeus thundered, his face turning an unhealthy shade of red.
Future-Caillean looked unsure. "Stephan…?"
"Yes?"
"You were telling the truth, weren't you?"
The Fey King sighed. "Yep."
"Oh dear." Caillean said in a small voice. "This could be bad."
* * * * *
"Do something!!!" Caillean gripped Calliope's arm, frantically pointing at the scene that was unfolding before them.
"Like what? We're powerless here!"
"Dammit, this is entirely your fault!"
"It is not her fault, Caillean, be a bit more forgiving." Jareth said
"Excuse me, oh high and mighty? It most certainly WAS her fault!"
Calliope let out an indignant squeak. "How so? It was Stephan's idea!"
"At your suggestion, I'm sure."
Stephan broke in. "Look!" He said, pointing at the future. "It's Jareth."
The four watched with bated breath as the (Once and) Future Goblin King stealthily crept up behind the fuming god.
* * * * *
Chapter Six: You're a Mean One…
In the future, Stephan and Caillean watched in horror as the irate Zeus began conjuring a thunderbolt and prepared to hurl it at the pair.
"I'll thank you not to toast my friends!" All three looked in surprise as Jareth launched himself at the god.
"Jareth!" Caillean cried as the Goblin King collided with the King of the Gods. There was a bright flash of light and a crash of thunder and then all was silent. Caillean looked in horror at the slightly smoking Goblin King lying motionless on the floor.
Zeus smiled. "Now then, back to what I was trying to do before this boy interrupted me!"
* * * * *
"Wait a minute!" Caillean turned to face the muse. "Where the hell are *you*? Why haven't you showed up yet?"
Calliope looked puzzled. "You're asking me!?! None of this has happened yet, how could I possibly know where I went?"
Jareth groaned. "This is worse than 'Who's on first'"
"Oh, fine time for humor. I'm about to get toasted and you're making jokes!" Caillean snapped at the Goblin King.
He chose to refrain from mentioning the look of pure horror on her face and the way she cried out when his future self went down in smoke.
"Excuse me?! What about me?" Stephan frowned.
"What about you? As I recall, you got us into this mess in the first place!"
Calliope took a step towards the redhead. "Now just one minute here! Let's not lose sight of the problem at hand!"
"Right, that problem being the fact that I'm about to get fried by your idiot father!"
"Stop right there!"
Eight heads turned in surprise at the new voice.
* * * * *
The God of the Underworld stood tall and terrible. Zeus frowned. "What are *you* doing here? You're interrupting my fun."
Hades merely smiled. "Actually, it really isn't your fun at all. The girl is mine, Zeus." As he spoke, Calliope silently appeared behind the King of the Gods and conjured a crystal.
"Oh really?" Zeus looked at him. "How so?"
"I once helped her friends to rescue her from a rather unfriendly demon. As payment, I demanded they forfeit her life to me. So you see, they really didn't have much of a choice." He pulled Caillean close. "And now I've come to collect."
"What?!" Caillean managed to squeak out before she disappeared … and reappeared behind Hades, next to Calliope. She opened her mouth to speak, but Calliope frantically motioned for her to stay quiet. The two turned to watch the rest of the action.
"I'm impressed, dear brother. For a while there, I thought you were losing your touch."
Hades smiled cruelly. "Never. Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have some old friends to attend to." He prepared to transport the two kings and himself.
"Now just one minute." Zeus held up a hand. "You may have claimed the girl, but these two are mine!"
"Correction." Calliope said, stepping out from behind her father. "Those two are mine!" And with that, she pitched a crystal at the King of the Gods, enveloping him in a glowing sphere. With a flick of her wrist, the crystal floated back to her. She smiled at the angry god trapped inside. "Well now, father dearest, let's send you somewhere nice to cool off a bit, shall we?" His only response was a small squeak and a furious beating of his fists on the crystal walls.
"That won't be necessary." A smooth voice said from behind the muse.
Calliope turned. "Hera!"
The Queen of the Gods smiled. "I've always had a weakness for crystals."
Smiling back, the muse handed her the crystal. "Now you won't leave him in there too long, will you?"
A wicked glint appeared in Hera's eye. "No, of course not!" With a grin, she disappeared.
Calliope turned back to face her friends. "I don't know about you two gentlemen, but I think I'm ready to head home." And with that, one muse, one mystic, two kings and one god of the Underworld disappeared.
* * * * *
"Well!" Caillean turned to face Calliope and Stephan as their future selves disappeared. "I certainly am glad that's over and done with. But…" she trailed off.
"But?" Calliope prompted.
"I just wonder if Jareth was all okay."
The Goblin King gave an amused snort. "Why, my lady Caillean, I didn't know you cared!"
She looked at him archly. "Don't let it go to your head."
"If I may," Future interjected. "His majesty recovered just fine. And if you'll allow me, I can reunite you with your future selves."
"Please do." Stephan said and with that, the group disappeared.
* * * * *
Epilogue: It will be a cold day in hell…
"Oh good heavens, am I glad that's all over with!" Calliope sighed, perching on the arm of the wingback chair Stephan was seated in.
"You can say that again." The Fey King said, laughing.
"Oh good heavens, am I glad that's all over with!"
Stephan groaned and looped an arm around her waist, pulling her into his lap. "Smart ass."
Calliope laughed and poked a finger in his side. Stephan retaliated and soon the two were laughing hysterically.
"Do get a room, won't you?" Jareth shot the giggling couple an annoyed look.
Caillean poked him. "Oh, put a sock in it, Scrooge."
Jareth gave her a wounded look. "I'll have you know, I have plenty of Christmas spirit."
"Really?"
"Yes, really." He gestured to the three goblins munching on gingerbread.
"You know, you're not funny."
"You just don't have a sense of humor!"
"Ah, quit bickering! It's Christmas Day, for heaven's sake." Calliope shook her head accusingly at Jareth. "You're like that Care Bear with the cloud on its tummy. You're only happy when you're not."
"Speaking of Christmas, where's my present?" Jareth asked, looking around.
"Not to worry, my boy. I have it right here."
Caillean spun around. "Santa?"
With an apologetic shrug, "Santa" removed his hat and wig. "No, just Talius, I'm afraid. But I really do have a present for Jareth." He handed the Goblin King a small bundle.
The king eagerly unwrapped the parcel. "A hunk of coal?" His face fell.
Talius smiled. "Well, I'm sure the real Santa is more forgiving."
"You guys are strange." Hades said, leaning against the mantle.
Calliope jumped out of the chair. "Oh, Hades, I completely forgot!" She darted over to the tree and picked up a gaily-wrapped package and handed it to the surprised God of the Underworld.
"Ice skates?" He looked at the grinning muse.
"Well, that's only half the present." Conjuring a crystal, she smiled. "Hold on, guys. You're in for quite a ride."
And with that, the group disappeared.
* * * * *
Stephan sighed as he looked around. "Okay. What is it this time? Past, Present, or Future?"
Jareth shrugged. "Hell, actually."
Caillean looked around in confusion. "But it's all ice."
Calliope laughed. "Yup." She turned to face Hades. "Hell is officially frozen over."
He looked at her in disbelief. "What?"
"Well, only temporarily." She amended, conjuring up ice skates for the rest of the group.
Grinning like a schoolboy, Hades eagerly laced up his skates and stepped confidently onto the ice.
And landed with a resounding "thud!"
Calliope giggled as she glided by. "Perhaps some lessons would be in order. Stephan, give me a hand here? Uncle Hades weighs a ton!"
* * * * *
On the other side of the pond, Jareth and Caillean skated silently side-by-side.
"Caillean, I'm sorry."
The redhead stopped and gazed at him in surprise. "Jareth?"
"I've been such a bear this holiday season. It's just that -"
Caillean stopped him. "Jareth, it's ok. I understand. I imagine that Christmas would get a little old after a few centuries."
He grinned ruefully. "Yes, that's very true."
As Caillean started to skate on, Jareth put a hand on her arm.
"Yes?"
The Goblin King extended a hand. "May I have this dance, my lady?"
Caillean smiled. "Why certainly, kind sir."
As the two twirled gracefully on the ice, Jareth leaned close. "Merry Christmas, Caillean."
Looking back up at the Goblin King, she smiled softly.
"Merry Christmas, Jareth."
* * * * *
"Aww, look how cute!" Calliope let go of Hades' arm and clasped her hands over her heart.
With a yelp, the god of the Underworld crashed to the ice, pulling the Fey King down with him. The muse turned back to the pair sprawled on the ice. "Oops." She tried to look contrite and failed miserably.
"Calliope?" Stephan said, dangerously.
"Yes?"
"You might want to get a bit of a running start."
She looked puzzled. "Why?"
The Fey King stood. "Because when I catch you, I guarantee you won't be escaping like the last time."
Calliope let out a yelp and dashed off across the ice, Stephan in hot pursuit.
"Hey!" Hades struggled to get up. "Hey, you can't just leave me here!" The god of the Underworld gave a put-upon sigh.
"When hell freezes over, indeed!"
THE END
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