(Dumb Phrases and Questions)
*On the other hand you have different fingers.
*The madness will be on going...
*This is an age where you need a search warrant to find common sense.
**Remember, you'll never be totally free of your problems... you'll always have... ME!
*Quilts are overrated. Give bed sheets more credit!
*Men are proof women can take a joke.
*The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
*I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minuet of it!
*I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
*I can't go to work today. The little people told me to stay home and clean the guns for the revolution.
*I brake for no- wait... Ahhh! No Brakes!
**Come back when you've destroyed the world with a stapler.
*You're a bad influence on me... just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.
**If I throw a stick will you go away?
**Chaos? Panic? Disorder? My job here is done!
**Can't sleep clowns will eat me.
*What part of NO dont you understand?
*Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but youre abusing the privilege.
**I only look sweet and innocent.
**I march, therefore I ache.
*When youre up to your rear in alligators, it's hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp.
*So many candles, so little cake.
**Some days its just better to stay in bed.
*We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left.
**Just smile and agree with me.
*Things to do, People to annoy, Lives to corrupt.
**Bad spellers of the world, Untie!
*I can only please on person a day. Today isn't your day; Tomorrow ain't looking to good either.
**Frisbeetarinism, n: The belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
*I beat up four hippies and all I got was this dumb bus.
*I lost my phone #, can I have yours?
*pol-i-tics: poli- meaning many -tics meaning small blood sucking parasites.
**I tried being normal once... I didn't like it.
*I'm not really a driver, I just play one on TV.
*You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
*Tequila! Have you hugged your toilet today?
*People who drink to drown their sorrows need to be told that sorrow can swim.
*Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep in the ground.
*Support mental health or I will kill you!
*Men have feelings too, but who really cares? (Poor men, *giggle*)
*I'm smiling because I have no clue what's going on.
*9 out of the 10 voices in my head say not to shoot. Unfortunately for you I only listen to the tenth one.
*Finally 21 and legally able to do everything Ive been doing since I was 15. (Saddly this is VERY true, not for me though, so don't get worried)
*If subliminal messages are those things inside a recording and such that make people become hypnotized zombies, then why havent all those boy bands been arrested yet?
*If practice makes perfect and nobodies perfect, then why the world do I still have to do homework.
*I'd have a million dollars by now if I was given a nickel for every time a stupid statement come out of my mouth.
**Everyone hates Pokemon due to commercialism and such but we all know if there really was a terrier sized yellow mouse that could electrocute someone, everyone would love them.
*Humor is the best medicine except when you have the measles.
*N*SYNC is alien talk for too much merchandise...
*Why am I still writing this?
*Cant sleep, clouds will eat me...
*How come those all you can eat places get upset if you start eating at the buffet?
*Why does it cost 50 cents for a penny with a fancy hole cut into it?
**They should use Darth Vader for those asthma commercials.
*Why aren't comic books considered reading material?
*Teachers should have to take their own final exam when their students have to and with no teachers addition. (All in Favor say YES: YES!)
**Never shake gel pens. Very bad...
*Mayo....me say maaaayyyooo....daylight comes and I eat da mayo.
*Never juggle fine china. Ever.
*Puppies have soft ears!
*I talk about animals too much.
*Baby seals have pretty fur...
**People get upset if you dont turn off the hall light at night.
*...searching for my lost shaker of salt...oh, here it is...
*How does a giraffe sleep?