|
My heart my cries for someone who is another country away from me. My heart longs to be with him. I long to be with him forever and for the rest of my life. He has my heart that no ohter man has had before. I love him more than words can say. I call him my very best friend. It maybe we are connected through the computer but there is another connection we have that definds time and boundries. We can be so honest with each other and we can see past our walls. It is where our hearts speak to each other something that no one can understand unless they have been in love. We are trusting the almighty God to do what he needs to do cause it is in his timing that we will be together not our own. I never want to lose him. I feel so blessed to call him friend and that blessed that he is part of my life. He is one of a kind and no one can replace his. He is someone I can see sharing my life with for the rest of my life. I have only felt this way once before and that was with my late fiance who I was with 4 1/2 years. He was the one I wanted to marry but the Lord had called him home and I do not understand why but do we ever understand God at all. No we can't understand but we must trust he knows what he is doing. I thank God every day for him and his friendship. I feel so alive in my heart and in my spirit. I feel that I can move on with my life again. My life has came alive. What was once dead has came alive again and the only person I can thank for that is God cause he knew in my heart that I long to be loved and to love someone. We all want to love and recieve it in return. With this person my love is returned and it feels great. I know I have mad some mistakes in the past and have blamed God for those things but in all he was watching over me and knew what was going to happen. He knew I would never close my heart off not to HIM but not to love of a man. He knew myh longing and my heart desire. He has set a man in my road who for some reason loved me way before he saw what I looked like. He loved me even though I was down on myself though. He treated me as a princess as I am. I know that he has my heart and I know I have his as well. I hate time zones and oceans that devide us but I know with the waiting on God all this will fall into place. We can never do things without God and we can never try to do them on our own cause if we do we fail. I thought I have had love in my life but he never treated me anything more than just a person though. He at one time did say he loved me and wanted me to move up there to be with him. Stupid as I was and wanting to have love in my life I gave in. I did not ask God nor did I wait for his answer and for that I made the biggest mistake in my life. But in all this that was going on this man that loved me before he saw what I looked like still loved me no matter what and part of him wish it was him that had me in his life at that time but as time goes on I realized that he was the one I wanted in my life. His eyes are so memorizing and the more I look at them the more the Lord shows me the dream I had a long long time ago. I keep telling God how much I love this man and I tell God how I feel cause God cares enough for me. He also wants to see me happy and will give me the desire of my heart. But to get that desire I must learn to wait. Waiting seems to be one of my week points but I see this as God as teaching me about waiting though. This is the hardest test I have went through but I know with God all things are possible. Cause I love God with all my heart and want to do what is right. So if things do not go my way I need to understand that there is a reason why they are the way they are. Psalms 23 says it all though. |
|
