JOKES---)

Girl: Are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boy : Dead sure! I checked the whole list again

Yesterday.

***********

Teacher: Which is more important, the sun or the moon?

Pupil : The moon.

Teacher: Why?

Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it

need it.

**********

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking

when

people are no longer interested?

Pupil : Teacher.

***********

Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colours do you have?

***********

Teacher: Sam, you talk too much.

Sam: It's a family tradition.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a

teacher.

Teacher: What about your mother?

Sam: She's a woman.

***********

Priest: Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before

eating?

Sam: No, I don't have to ... my mom is a good cook.

************

Patient: What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?

Doctor: 100%. Medical records show that ! nine out of ten

people die of the disease you have. Yours is the 10th case

I've

treated. The others all died.

*************

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the

office, why?

Wife: When there's a problem, no matter how impossible,

I'll say to myself "What other problem can there be

greater than this one?"

************

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,

he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But Mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

***********

Father: Sam, let me see your report card.

Sam: Dad, my friend borrowed it. He wants to scare

his parents.

************

Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He's

busy all the time, works all day and everyday.

Then what happens?

Sam: He gets stepped on.

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It's All in your state of mind