(Open curtain on stage poorly lit. There is a parkbench centre-right. And perhaps a dustbin. Around the parkbench uniformly distributed are a number of corpses. Let's say ten. Anywhere between ten and fifteen. They are wearing striped close-fitting tops and berets and optional leg-wear. They could be artists, or thieves, or French revolutionaries. It is important that the actors are very still, to give the likeness of death. Faint sound of bells from off-stage. Enter a man on a bicycle made of antique flutes. The bicycle must have a basket. In it, two rifles are crossed the way one imagines one would cross two sticks of French-bread, in just such a basket. There are also a number of tomatoes. It can be left to the Company of Performers to decide the number. The man is wearing a cap with a feather in it. It is necessary that this feather is visible to the audience: i.e. if the man enters from the left-wing, it must be on the right-side of the cap. And vice-versa. Otherwise he is naked. Man dismounts from bicycle. This can be done at any position on the stage. The Set Designers might find it beneficial to invest in a bicycle stand for visual effect. The man takes up the tomatoes one by one and pelts the corpses with them. Then he takes up a rifle. The man shoots each of the corpses two times. Gunshot should be very loud. As he turns to the third body, cue orchestra.To create an optimal level of discordance, the violinists might like to wear ovengloves, or some other similar impediment to musickal dexterity. Or they could just play badly. Optional piano-accordians. Man continues to shoot. Fall curtain.)
