I have watched her grow
As far back as I can remember
She has always been there
I have witnessed and identified the stages
From immaturity and pride
To surrender and devotion
I have observed the people around her
Their reactions to her decisions
Their amazement as God changed her
I have seen her stumble and stray
Then fight her way back on to the path
Ready to try again
I’ve never missed a day of her walk
Never turned my back on her
She’s there every time I look in to a mirror
There’s endless ways to say “I love you”
But how can I compare
To one who gave His life
To show how much He cared?
Next to Him my efforts seem empty
Next to Him my words are in vain
How do I show that I love Him?
Will I have to suffer the same pain?
My answer came on the wind
The sound of a still, small voice
There’s only one thing that I have to do
I have to make a choice
So with my Bible in my hand
And confidence in my voice
I stand before my Lord
And tell Him of my choice
I choose to be a disciple
I choose to let go of my strife
I choose to lay down my self ~
And love you with my life
© Carmel
1996
To The One I Love…
Your arms hold me
In an embrace so true
Your eyes caress
The depths of my soul
Your laughter is like
Music to my ears
And your heartbeat sounds
So close, so near
I fear I’ll never know
If you feel the same
Because I know
I can’t speak the words
But for now
I’ll hold you tight
And believe that this dream
Just might come true
As I gaze in to the distance
I see my Saviour’s eyes
I am witnessing His heartache
And hearing His cries
His life He gave that I might live
A broken world He came to save
I look upon Calvary
And I know that it’s not just a cross
The cross is a symbol
Of God’s love for me
The agony He suffered ~
His death has set me free
I bend my knee
And lift my voice
To the one who died
When He had a choice
My King, my Lord, my advocate
Has washed away my sin
My heart is clean, my soul is pure
I’m longing to enter in
Through the gates
Where Jesus waits
And tell Him that I know
It’s not just a cross
© Carmel
1998
You ask me why I cry
Because my world is closing in
You ask me why I cry
But I don’t understand how you can
Can’t you see my heart is breaking
Overflowing with pain
Can’t you see how I am aching
Just trying to keep myself sane
You know what I have been through
And yet you close your eyes
You said that you would be here
Was it all just lies?
I know I shouldn’t be so hard
On one I call a friend
But I can’t see my way through
To when all this will end
They say that things get better
The wounds will heal with time
Do they really know at all
Do they just spout these lines
My heart just feels so empty
Since my brother died
And it’s so hard to stay positive
God knows that I have tried
Now ask me why I cry
And I will try to tell you
Now ask me why I cry
Maybe you would cry too
© Carmel
1998
I do not understand Lord
Why I do the things I do
When my heart’s true desire
Is to follow you
Distractions rear their heads
Everywhere all around
And I can’t seem to hang on
To the peace that I once found
Lord, I know it’s your strength
Your strength, and not my own
So why do I keep trying
To do everything alone?
And how come all the answers
Seem just out of reach?
And my ears continue to be deaf
No matter how I beseech?
Oh Lord, I know you hear me
And answer every prayer
But why is it that some days
I find reason to question you care?
Dear Lord please bring me
Back to perfect union with you
Let me hear your loving voice
That I may respond in a way that’s new
I no longer wish to be
The complacent soul I’ve been
Please Lord create within me
A heart that’s new and clean
And Lord help me remember
The sacrifice you made
You sent your son to Calvary
And marked my debt as paid
Lord I know I don’t deserve
A thing outside your grace
But you said that I may come
If I will seek your face
So Father please help me turn
From my wicked ways
And give me strength that I may follow
What the Bible says
This Lord is my most earnest plea
That you may grant forgiveness
And this prayer is said as ever Lord
Through your one son, Jesus
Amen
© Carmel
2000
Life, it takes its twists and turns
And sometimes never seems
That through its turbulence and strife
Will lead us to our dreams
But God is all faithful, all knowing, all love
And there’s something he wishes to teach
“As long as our dreams are within our sight,
They are always within our reach.”
© Carmel
2000
Silence reigns around these parts
While daylight sleeps, its presence unknown
The souls that yet inhabit this earth
Are deafened by the noise that silence brings
Blinded by the darkness of no day
The sheer curtain that acts as a covering for their eyes
Is thicker that they’ll ever realise
Reality seems so far removed
Yet lurks so close that it is easily ignored
Their non-lives are a study in contradictions
Their death ever nearing the never to be
Their intellect promises no security
Yet it is all that they hold dear
Those who wish to make it out of here must die
They must embrace what is scorned
They must let go of what they value
To gain that which they will treasure
They must break the reign of silence
They must scream
JESUS!
© Carmel
2000
Colour
You bring me colour
When my world is washed in grey
It’s like a little blessing
To carry through the day
And when it comes to nightfall
And time for me to rest
You hold it safely for me
Until life’s next grey test.
© Carmel
2000
It is quietness I long for
The peace inside the storm
A shelter for my weary heart
To heal what has been torn
Yet silence, it is lonely
And alone it seems more dim
Where will I find a haven
A home to enter in?
I wish I had more courage
To walk on through the storm
But I do not know its ending
And it’s this I’m hiding from
I do not want to drink this cup
Of suffering and grief
I do not want to face this trial
When it seems there’s no relief
Yet Father, if you will it
I know this has to be
Please stay here at my shoulder
With your Grace surrounding me
I will make you my safe haven
My home inside the storm
I’ll anchor in your heart of hearts
And my new hope will be born
© Carmel
2002
I sit and watch the world go by
A silent participant
In the game of life
Climbing a ladder
Only to slide down a snake
Two steps sideways
Left
Right
Back to where I started
Alone
Not alone
Silent
Now screaming
I don’t understand
I don’t want to
Or do I?
Not alone
I know I’m not alone
Even though I feel it
He is everywhere
She is in Him
She is in me
Though I feel unworthy
She has taught me well
I’ll wait
Still waiting
Still hoping
Still
Quiet
Peaceful
Like her
Patient
So impatient
I want answers
I know He has them
In time
Time
Do I have time?
Yes
No
Some time
Not all time
She has all time
Eternity
I will meet her there
In time
Meanwhile
I trudge towards another ladder
I climb
© Carmel
2002
I love you with the essence of my being
For that essence is you
I love you with the strength in my life
For that strength is you
I love you with the passion in my voice
For that passion is you
I love you with the courage of my convictions
For that courage is you
I love you with my life
For that life is you
You bought it with your death
Thank you.
© Carmel
2002
Oh God, help me!
I don’t like this feeling
This isolation
I know you haven’t moved
So what is going on?
Is it me?
It must be me
But I don’t know why
Or how
I want to be happy
And at peace
But how?
Isn’t God meant to be enough
All I need
Or want?
What in me is blocking Him
His work
In my life?
I wish I knew
I’d change
I’d do anything
Just to feel
‘Normal’ again
Empty
I’m so empty
© Carmel
2002
Wounded. I feel wounded. Like there is this great gaping hole at the very centre of me. Like the part that makes me who I am is open and bleeding. Oozing infection. It is corrupted. It is growing black. It needs treatment.
Lonely. I feel lonely. Like there is only me, wandering a vast desert. Every now and then, a companion appears. But it is only an illusion. I cannot value it too greatly, for soon it will be gone. I will drive it away or it will die. That’s how things go.
Wasted. I feel wasted. Like I am a well, brimming with water. But no one comes to draw for lack of a rope and bucket. Do I have to provide that too? If only that one would come, I would feel valued.
Angry. I feel angry. Like there is a great voice in me, longing to scream. Only it is strangled by the hands of fear. Fear will not let it be expressed, be expelled. So it festers as it sits almost idle.
Scared. I feel scared. Like I am a child again, learning to walk, learning to trust. I rise and fall even as I try to cling to the hands that support me. For I cannot trust myself. I cannot do this alone. I try to rust, not knowing how much time I have.
Sad. I feel sad. Like I am drowning inside a tear. I try to look out, but all is blurred by the salty moisture. I look for the day when the tear will burst. It is not showing itself.
Abandoned. I feel abandoned. Like I am standing in a crowd, scanning for faces I know and love. Faces that know and love me. But as I catch their eye, they turn and go. I am left knowing no one. I look up. But even God feels distant. Heaven seems empty. Yet it is my only hope. If not there, then where? I am but a speck in a faceless void of millions. To all but Him.
© Carmel
2002
Make my life
A song to you
A melody
That’s strong and true
A marriage between
Music and words
Of praise the only
You deserve
Upon the stave there’s highs and lows
The cadence of how my life goes
The high notes, they are sweet and true
Times I chose to follow you
The low notes sound so dark and deep
Times when my will did not yours meet
But looking back it’s plain to see
You’ve made them blend in harmony
Showing me that when I choose it
You can make my life into music
So make my life
A song to you
A melody
That’s strong and true
A marriage between
Music and words
Of praise the only
You deserve
© Carmel
2002
Teach me Lord, remind me again
Of the wonder you work in hearts of men
How you take what’s black as night
And cleanse it to a snowy white
Teach me your ways
That I may follow you
Teach me your ways
Help me stay true
For the lost sheep you search high and low
Just how far will your love go?
The prodigal is as precious to you
As the ninety-nine who have stayed true
Teach me your ways
That I may follow you
Teach me your ways
Help me stay true
From your life of service to your death on the cross
All was done to redeem the lost
It isn’t the healthy who need medical care
You came to rescue those in despair
Teach me your ways
That I may follow you
Teach me your ways
Help me stay true
© Carmel
2002
Like the wind across the sea
His voice is calling out to me
Tossed and turned in the waves’ lament
“Lavish blood for you was spent”
I turn and wish I couldn’t hear
And yet, the voice, it still draws near
“Child I do not you condemn
Come to me, for I know you yen”
That voice, it penetrates my soul
But I’m ashamed and turn to go
Still it whispers, my heart is girt
“Child, please let me heal your hurt”
I cannot fathom a love so strong
For I know all I’ve done wrong
Yet if there’s a chance that this is real
It’s something that I’ve longed to feel
“My child, it’s time for you to see
Your dept was paid on Calvary
Like these waves crash on the shore
I stand and knock at your heart’s door.
For the door to open must be your choice
Child, do not run from my voice.”
From the voice, I can no longer hide
It’s time to push my fears aside
I reach for the door, the handle I turn
I pray ‘Lord, do not your child spurn’
“Child, my child, you answered my call
Take my hand. I won’t let you fall
This my Kingdom, come enter in
Here you are saved, you are free from sin
Come follow me, soon the feasting will start
We shall rejoice, for now I reside in your heart.”
© Carmel
2002
Hands of such strength
And yet such tenderness
The picture of them
Etched in my memory
Hands of experience
That saw so much pain
And still reached out
To heal others
Hands that held me close
And made me feel safe
They were always there
Open and waiting
Hands that saw change
Even in themselves
And embraced it
Always making the best
Hands that are still
Their lessons all taught
I’m glad I always paid attention
To my Mother’s hands
© Carmel
2002
You’re troubled and your heart is anxious
You’re tired and you’ve lost your patience
You need to find the peace you’ve lost
You’d dream if it weren’t for the cost
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll hold you through the darkened night
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll still be here when it’s light
Just take your worries, lay them at my feet
I will care for them while you sleep
I hear when in prayer you kneel
Trust me, your wounded heart will heal
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll hold you through the darkened night
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll still be here when it’s light
I never meant for you to do this alone
You’ve let your heart become as stone
Hold me closely in your heart
Together we can find a new start
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll hold you through the darkened night
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll still be here when it’s light
Rest in me, my love is strong
The start of the new day won’t be long
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll hold you through the darkened night
Rest in me, little one, rest in me
I’ll still be here when it’s light
© Carmel
2002
Confusion is my current state
My loss I want to vindicate
It’s one step forward, and three back
I can’t replace the things I lack
My eyes are clouded, I can’t see
Through the shroud surrounding me
I try to push forward and break through
To find my way back to you
Is it because of anger’s haze
That I can’t find value in my days
I’m so scared of what’s to come
My sanity has come undone
On myself I can’t rely
My heart’s forgotten how to fly
My friends want to help me to mend
But I can’t too heavily on them depend
I have to find a way to be free
But I don’t see how, when I can’t find me.
© Carmel
2002
I’m hiding my heart behind this curtain
Taking refuge in all I call certain
At it’s juncture there is a seal
It gives me power over what I reveal
For my heart, it is a precious thing
It’s where I pray, cry, laugh and sing
And where my secret thoughts are spoken
I cannot risk my heart being broken
What once was certain, now is gone
And there’s nothing that could be done
My curtain ripped, my dreams went with it
Along with the choice of what I exhibit
My pain so raw, out for all to see
What could your plan in all this be?
I try to listen, to trust and believe
But all I want now is a little relief
Sometimes I think you don’t understand
How much it costs to take your hand
You were the rail from which my curtain hung
You were the topic of all I sung
But now I feel completely alone
My curtain has turned into stone
My life’s been dealt, my hand been played
My Queen of Hearts has been stolen away
I know it’s useless to try and lay blame
But my life is never going to be the same
I’m trying to identify all that I feel
I want so badly for my heart to heal
But I’m not quite sure how to let you in
I’m scared that I’ll lose something again
If you want to, chip away at the rock
‘Cause I don’t know how to remove the block
Maybe that’s it, all I have to prove
That I will give you room to move
I’ve lost my compass point, my true north
So will you help me plot a new course?
One that’s steady, strong and true
A course where my focus stays on you
Please Lord, help me find a new start
It’s not much, but take my broken heart
© Carmel
2002
If I could make your love work in my life
I’d be a better person
If I could help others through their strife
It might keep me from hurting
If I could see the world through you
My vision would be more real
And knowing better what is true
Might make it easier for me to heal
If I could minister with your hands
Maybe I’d be more in touch
And in my life, I’d take a stand
Not worrying about ‘me’ as much
If I could accept your gift of forgiveness
Then finally I would see
That in spite of my unworthiness
Your grace has set me free
© Carmel
2002
I’m looking out
Beyond green hills
And wandering
In my dreams
Through the place
Where sunlight spills
The sunlight’s beam
Warms my face
It never ends
In my dreams
Then I wake
My sun’s erased
© Carmel
2002
Lord, I long to see you
I want to touch your face
I want to look into your eyes
And thank you for your grace
Lord, I long to worship
Worship you and you alone
I would kneel down at your feet
Praising you for all you’ve atoned
Lord, I long to speak to you
And sometimes just to listen
I’m sure you could make clear to me
All the points that I’ve been missing
Lord, I long to be with you
Just to revel in your presence
And completely be at one
With you, my life force, my essence
© Carmel
2002
While all around me
Is uncertain
I take refuge
Behind this curtain
Although it’s escapism
I confess
I just can’t cope
With this whole mess
It’s not that I don’t want
To be
Relaxed and calm
And worry free
But right now I can’t seem
To find
My own space
My piece of mind
Lord please help me turn
To you
To find direction
And the truth
And I forever will
Stay true
For you will always
See me through
© Carmel
2002
The delicate petal of a rose
The colour deep, lasting long
Mirrors how I feel for you
Contradictions, fragile and strong
The thorny stalk of a rose
The barbs sharp, causing pain
Mirrors how you’ve treated me
Betrayal, my heart Abel, your words Cain
© Carmel
2002
My eyes, the windows to my soul
My heart, the place where I’m made whole
My mind, where I decide what’s true
My voice, my one gift back to you
Your eyes, they display your pain
Your heart, broken for my gain
Your mind, so set on God’s way
Your voice, has only truth to say
Lord, I want to mirror you
Make your ways my ways too
Lord, help me to always see
Your love, your word at work in me
© Carmel
2002
Once upon a dream
I was young and free
Once upon a dream
All was clear and I could see
Once upon a dream
I was on the right track
Once upon a dream
If I got lost I’d find my way back
Now I wake to reality
And I am getting older
Now I wake to reality
And I can’t see past the shoulder
Now I wake to reality
And I am wandering lost
Now I wake to reality
My dream is twisted and tossed
When reality meets the dream
I’ll know I’m whole again
When the dream meets reality
I’ll say “I think I can”
When reality meets the dream
I’ll find again the way
When the dream meets reality
I can face another day
© Carmel
2002
My soul cries out for water
Like a withered flower’s leaf
My heart cries out for comfort
From the drought it needs relief
My mind cries out for mercy
Like one guilty, afeared of death
My voice cries out for freedom
And you always answer “Yes”
© Carmel
2002
I take a breath and heave a sigh
I can’t get away from the question “why?”
If I want people to know the real me
Why am I afraid to let them see?
And what’s with all this confusion?
I wish that I could find a conclusion
I thought that I was tough and strong
How could I have been so wrong?
I don’t know any more what is true
I can’t even answer a “how are you?”
My emotions are so up and down
My smiles outnumbered by the frowns
My life just feels like such a mess
Though it’s self-pity, I confess
I want a break, a little space
Some time to find my rightful place
A place where I can be me again
I know it’ll come but it’s a matter of when?
Oh, please soon. Let me find me
I’m sick of self-imposed captivity
© Carmel
2002
Welcome to the forest
At the moment it is still
But somewhere in the deep, dark depths
Awaits a force, always ready to kill
If you choose to stay on the path
Your life I guarantee
For I will guide and protect you
Just keep your eyes on me
At times distractions will rear their heads
And compete for your attention
You will find that they fade
When my name you mention
You may notice, just through those trees
An area dark and dim
Looking closely at the signpost
It says ‘this way to sin’
That’s an area you should avoid
For travel there has its cost
It’s full of weeds and twisted vines
And it’s easy to get lost
Lurking at the centre of sin
Is the force that would wish you dead
So I urge you to stay on the path
And follow me instead
But all the same, do not fear
If you find yourself in its grip
For I have provided a way out for you
I’ve taken the sting from death’s whip
I will come and fight for you
And see that you’re set free
Then you’ll be on that road, there
Yes, the one called ‘mercy’
Sin and death want blood spilled
It’s how they’re satisfied
But I will let them murder me
And you’ll be justified
But here’s the beauty of the plan
I will not stay dead
I’ll fight the battle, win the war
By rising again, as I said
I will take your mistakes on me
So you can clean your soul
All you should do is accept my gift
And then you can be made whole
This concludes our tour for today
You have all the facts, bar one
I believe I forgot to give you my name
But you can call me “God’s Son”
© Carmel
2002
Inhale
Exhale
Repeat
It’s all circular
Life
It all comes around again
The pain
The tears
But also the joy
The satisfaction
Just hold on
Life
Death
Re-birth
Life
Death is defeated
© Carmel
2002
I see her lying there
Her last breath expelled
No inhalation follows this time
Nor ever again
My champion, my best friend
Still
And yet her presence lingers
Beyond the scope of mortality
Pictures in my mind
Ever in my dreams
But not here when I wake.
© Carmel
2002
It’s so easy to sit as judge
And point out where others fail
Yet so often you pull me up
And take the wind right out of my sail
Last night, I listened in amazement
To a story of your healing grace
Ten men you healed of leprosy
Yet only one sought your face
I sat, thinking of this Samaritan
I’d like to think his heart’s like mine
But I look at myself and know
I’m every one of the other nine
So often I forget you
And carry on like you’re not there
I take your love for granted
Failing to show you I care
So instead of looking for splinters
I’ll make sure my plank is gone
Lord, I want to honour you
I want to be an “only one”
© Carmel
2002
More of you, less of me
This is my forever prayer
More of you, less of me
Lord, please lead me there
Consume me and complete me
Until you are all I know
Transform me and fill me
Until you are all I show
Make me a vessel of all that’s good
Overflowing with your Grace
Cleanse me as only you could
That I may reflect your face
More of you, less of me
This is my forever prayer
More of you, less of me
Lord, please lead me there.
© Carmel
2003
Does anyone know what happens
When tears are left unshed?
Right now I feel like they are choking me
But that could be all in my head
My mind is going over time
But my emotions just stand still
I work hard not to acknowledge
These feelings I want to kill
I’m so tired of the up and down
Of not knowing myself any more
I wish that I could walk out on me
Could lock and bar the door
Either side of my existence
Life continues at its usual pace
I don’t know if I’m too fast or slow
Or maybe not even in the race
I just know that something’s not right
But I am powerless to fix it
Maybe the tears have gathered together
And I’m drowning in their bottomless pit
© Carmel
2003
Early morning musings, late night pain.
Mending what is torn
Healing what is broken
Longing for the words of hope
To be softly spoken
Looking for an answer
To all my shattered dreams
And looking for an outlet
For all my pent-up screams
Searching, scraping high and low
To find the me I’ve lost
Looking after all but myself
Not realising the cost
Kneeling wounded on the ground
Heart eternally weeping
Holding always the mask in place
Can’t reveal the secrets I’m keeping
I cry and cry and cry and cry
Until I find my slumber
Sleep protects me while it lasts
But grief has got my number
I wake and there it is again
It’s staring me in the face
With the morning it begins again
And for the impact I brace
I follow the cycle day-in, day-out
Always looking for an escape
But if some options did appear
Which path would I take?
Sleep is closing in again
I need the blessed release
Maybe tomorrow morning I’ll find
My own pathway to peace
© Carmel
2003
If life were a garden
You, Mum, would be the rose
A delight of beauty and fragrance
A lesson in highs and lows
In the season of your high
A source of joy for all to see
Layer upon layer of beauty true
And love the fragrance deep
In the season of your low
Stripped naked, standing bare
It is then you show your character
Staying rooted, your strength rare
That day, like every rose must
You returned to the soil
Your reward for a life well-lived
A place you no longer toil
In the eternal garden you leave behind
A red rose of love so deep
We look on it in every season
Knowing a piece of you we keep.
© Carmel
2003
The roar of the ocean
Is the only sound that fills this hole
The memories of your laughter
Offer warmth to heart that’s cold
Still every day the incompleteness
Like echoes in my mind
Tosses, bounces back and forth
My heart held in its bind
I don’t understand your leaving
Why it had to be this way
Why two people I love so dearly
Can’t be here with me each day
I try to be positive and to live with hope
But some days it’s just so hard
I know that time helps heal wounds
But it doesn’t heal the scars
I cry and scream and yell out ‘why?’
But the answers don’t satisfy
They don’t change the reality
Of a life of too many goodbyes
© Carmel
2003
Maze
Just what or how I don’t know
But I need to fill this void
I need to find my own way
Through the barriers I’ve employed
I’ve raised up so many walls
I’m wandering through their maze
Lost and disillusioned
And blinded by the haze
I dig my way down through the soil
While my fingertips bleed
Always screaming my silent scream
That nobody will heed
If I lifted my arms to you
Would you lift me up?
Please hear the agony in my silence
And take from me this cup
© Carmel
2003
If you were standing next to me
What words would I choose?
If you were here beside me
What would I say to you?
I know that you know all of me
But I don’t know all of you
Could I find just the right words
To discover mysteries ages through?
What questions should I utter
So that I can know you more?
Just what answers should I seek
To fulfill my wonder of your law?
I wish that I could hear you speak
Right down into my soul
I wish that I could understand
Why I still feel this hole
But do I even need to speak?
Is there anything that I can do?
Perhaps I am meant to wait
Until in the presence of you
But when I do reach your Heaven
By the wonder of your Grace
Will all my questions fail me
In the glorious light of you face?
Oh please, Lord can I have one glimpse
A hint of what’s in your in plan?
I have so many questions
And the weight is hard to stand
Even, Lord, just one answer
I promise it will satisfy
It’s a very simple question
It’s just one word…WHY?!
© Carmel
2003
Do you think that you could hold me
In the warmth of your embrace
Do you think that you could wipe the tears
Streaming unchecked down my face
Do you think that you could whisper
Words of comfort meant to heal
Do you think that you could tell me
Why I’m feeling all I feel
Do you think that you could teach me
How to live again
Do you think that you could help me
Help me through this pain
Do you think that you could love me
Enough to stay right here
Do you think that you could protect me
And chase away my fear
Do you think that you could see
All that is in me
Do you think that you could save me
Can you set me free?
© Carmel
2003
In your eyes I see the scars of the wounds you try to hide
In your face I see the hurt of desire unsatisfied
When I listen I hear in your voice the agony in the quiet
And when I touch you I can feel the pain although you would deny it
I wish that you would let me in
I want to know you more
I wish that you could find the trust
Let me heal your weeping sore
You carry on from day to day but you never really live
You smile for the sake of it but don’t take the risk to give
You stare in to space, the empty void, lost in your heart’s pain
You think that you’ve lost everything but there’s so much you could
gain
I wish that you would let me in
I want to know you more
I wish that you could find the trust
But you’ve locked down your heart’s door
I face you with this everyday and never make a breakthrough
I scream inside for you to yield but you’ve blocked every way through
It frustrates me to no end to see you going on this way
And yet I cannot escape because with you I have to stay
I wish that I could let me in
I want to know myself again
I wish that I could find the trust
In myself to help me mend
© Carmel
2003