The Michael Jackson Ramble
I don't really know where to begin this ramble. We all know Michael Jackson. At least we have all heard of him. After that, everyone has his or her own opinion. Some like him and some don't. I personally think he has written, and performed some of the best songs of all time (Billie Jean being a personal favourite). Lately however, he has been in the news for the wrong reasons - child molesting. Whether we believe his version of the story or not is irrelevant. He has some funny beliefs, but he is allowed those. This ramble is not written in the hope of swaying my readers opinion on the subject. This ramble is much more important than that.
On one of the many Sunday night's I drove down to Limerick, JP posed a question to me. I'll admit, it caught me off guard, and my response was a little slow in forthcoming. I'm sure you will agree when you see the question, that the answer is not very obvious. It took me some time to digest the question, analyse it and try attempt some sort of reply to help settle JP's anxieties. The question, which I'm sure your eager to know, is as follows:
"Since Michael Jackson was born a black man, but has since become white,
has he still got the size knob of an average black man, or is it in proportion
to the white race of people?"
I do believe that you are confused, yet intrigued by this question.
I pondered a reply to this question for a while, and I came up with some ideas.
Michael Jackson allegedly has some rare skin disease that makes his skin turn
white. If this is true, and I think it's total shit, then his knob would be
the size of a black man's, only it would be white.
If the stories are true and
Michael Jackson has had surgery to try turn him into a white man, then logically
speaking he would have his knob changed to white too (a black knob would look
strange on a white body). He would also require some sort of surgery to reduce
the size of his knob, to be more in line with the white man. This in itself
beggars belief if it is true. Why reduce the size of your knob? Silly move if
you ask me.
Has all the surgery affected his knobs performance? Does it grow to its full
potential, be it black or white? Does it grow at all? If it does grow, does
it keep itself up for any decent period of time? These are all questions that
I cannot answer. I do believe that any kind of surgery on any knob, or near
any knob, would result in poor performance. Hence the reason that no surgery
will be done to my knob, unless absolutely necessary.
If he does give it to little boys, then surely a black knob would cause irreparable
damage to the anal passage, so maybe he did get it changed to white man style
so as not to cause unnecessary harm to kids.
I asked Mr. Pearson for his opinion on the subject last night, and he is of the belief that it is still black, and is still the size of a black man's.
I may have left out some theories on the subject of Michael Jackson's knob. If I have I apologise. In my own opinion, he still has a black man size knob that doesn't work properly anymore. That must be very disappointing. I also believe that the tablets Pelé advertises would not help his problem.
If anyone has any opinions on the subject, please e-mail me and I'll publish them on the net.
I'll leave you with a priceless one from JP:
"When I was young I thought a kiddie fiddler was a child that played
the violin"
Goodnight!