Kilkenny
Date:
28th January 2007
Report: Dave Francis
I woke up in JPs bedroom, thankfully without anything in me, but not so thankfully, with my pants down! The origons of the "Paddy-pantsdown-puller" remain unknown, but thankfully, whoever it was didnt lay eggs in my lower intestine. All credit to him or her.
With a tremendous yawn and a hot shower, i was ready to take on the world yet again. We moved swiftly out. I murdered a breakfast roll and the lads helped themselves to something posher in the intimate surroundings of Naas town centre. The head wasnt quite as up-or-the-cup as twas yesterday; however, i still saw fit to tell Brian and co to "hurry the fek up". We had 3 stones to collect and the first one was way south, in Kilkenny.
As we departed Naas, JP stuck on his Beatles remix album to mixed reaction from the car. I learned something new: the chemical bros robbed some Beatles drum-beat for Setting Sun. Armed with this useful knowledge, i knew wed master the upcoming counties. Or so i thought. En route, we passed by Paulstown, which ironically included a Stone Cleaning service. You just couldnt script this!! A nice pic of Paul beside the Paulstown sign, (which im sure, replaces the one he has of him and Edel) was taken and we moved onward.
We arrived in the Cat town and after much searching, found Dunmore Caves. The caves were located very near a landfill site which smelt worse than one of Peckers! As if this wasnt enough torture, they wouldnt open for another hour, as the guide was on lunch. We came back and grabbed some Lucozade and a muffin. Me and JP ate outside a locked Seat Leon while Brian and Pecker laughed manically inside. Maniacs. Our teeth chattered in the January cold while we attempted to finish our grub.
Back to the caves... We were let into the visitor centre and watched a video of stalictites,stalicmites blah blah...much like anyones 3rd class school tours. Once it was pover, the guide took our hard earned €2.90 and took us down a never ending flight of stairs into the massive cave. The guide was English and all "jolly-good", "to be or not to be" sort of character. Friendly, if a little gay, we nonetheless enjoyed the stories he told us as he help his torch up. At one stage he turned off the lights. Im not sure who touched me in this time, but my moneys on Brian (he was aiming for the cute Polish one nearby).
Eventually the guide fucked off to let us do our own thing. And own thing we
did! We travelled to the other side of the cave and collected our stones. Mine
was massive. Like the weekend in general whose common theme was "bigger
is better". We left the cave and made haste for stone #5, Brian and JP's
home; Laois!