Cork
Date:     20th October 2002
Report by Dave Francis
Cock (or "Cork" as the inbred natives call it) was to be the next county to be graced by my presence. A pointless quick trip to Clare that same evening where I managed to fart out a 6 pack of crisps as well as a 2 litre bottle of coke on an already chocolate covered seat at the back of Yogi's car was to be the only major  highlight of that. Short of scaring the poor security guard at Shannon (must have thought we were Taliban arse bandits) we decided that wed be mad (or stupid) and visit 2 airports in one night. Queue Cork.

We went back to my 2nd home to pick up Edel who expressed a desire to go. Pecker wanted to pick up some DVD�s in Kinsale so we set off on the trip. Passing Croom on the way up, I noted he fact that id never gone here to visit Linda on the while we were going out. Thank fuck by the looks of it. A hole with a capital H full of scangers. It should have been called little Limerick I say. 

Another hour driving on roads which can only be described as black (not poor quality you understand - just it was pitch dark), we eventually arrived in Ballyhea, Charleville and stopped the car at the post office or Joes house. Dull banal country house - it explains a lot about the chimps personality. Thompson I hope yours isn�t a mirror image of that.

We moved onto the rest of the county. Again having to listen to the guys talking about penalty points, geography and other bits o tripe led me to talking to Edel - the subject of which I can�t remember.

Cork city looked nice - save for the fact that everywhere was closed and nobody was out - at this stage it was Sunday night/Monday morn. With feck all to do there, we departed for Kinsale. Seconds later (several thousand seconds mind) we arrive in Kinsale. The towns windy streets reminded me of the flexibility of my part. We arrived at Peckers gaff, but didn�t go in for fear of being ass raped (or that they were asleep - cant remember). The nearby beach was nice (and freezing!) so it took the compadres quite a while to drag the self out of the car. Another trip to some sort of suicide corner of Kinsale made me lock the doors to make sure I wasn�t gonna be dragged out. The guys returned half an hour later - lives still intact god damnit! We headed back then but not before having a gawk at the outside of Cork airport.

Oh - i also farted quite a bit on the way home. I think Edel has not fantasised about me since that trip. Thompson thinks this trip was good - but in reality...NAHHHH
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