well it looks like friday night again,time for another nostalgia soggy trip down memory lane, to see what sort of a week that was. in the words of that pint sized ambassador for the puppet comunity Bosco, "knock knock open wide see whats on the other side". actually now that i think back, that bosco was such a fucking ballbag. he used to be making pirate hats and horny monkeys and shite like that, and he expected every 5 yer old kid in the country to have a scissors, 23 bit of muticolouered bog paper, 2 pots of glue, a felt tip pen and a magic marker, and also make sure a parent supervised ya so you didnt chop off your tiny penis while trying to cut the bog roll. or stick your chin to the table or somthing bad like that. this was the eighties like, we used to wear designer shoe boxes on our feet cos no one cud afford a real pair, where would you be getting all the stuff.
anyway heres this weeks omnibus episode
SUNDAY
j.p gets ready to go to limerick by having a nice fry, 2 eggs 2 sasages 1 tomato and some other shite, and then washes up, ppacks his bag and heads into borris wit papa delaney. j.p and papa smurf are ussually joined by brian tomson and after rivetting convesation in which the weeks topics are toroughy explored, the bus arrives about 20 minutes late at 8.10ish.
j.p was sitting beside a woman that got off in roscrea, at which point ciara that lives across the road from him in limerick got on. j.p talked to her for a while before promtly falling asleep, leaving the lovely ciara with drool all over her right shoulder.
the chaps got in to limerick and after much debate went up to birds tea party, sat in the corner and discussed going home for mario cart, went home, j.p stayed up to watch spy game with joe and went to bed at 3 o clock sucessfully not managing to wake maura up with a huge clatter of noise getting changed.
MONDAY
j.p walks up to collage, stopping in the filling station for a highly nutritios breakfast consisting of 1 mars bar. went to bed about 14 hours later that same day.
TUESDAY
j.p goes to collage, makes plans for going out the next thursday night. he is qouted as saying "im not sure, maybe". the other lads say to him" john your some ballbag". tuesday night j.p plays footy in the astroturf, plays magnificent and is spotted
by scouts from mancester utd. he declines them and instead opts for Huddersfield.
WEDNSDAY
.p is shocked to discover he has superpowers beyond believe, he finds he has been like superman the whole time! armed with this secret knoledge he goes to play indoor footy with brian and the lads, but sadly his superpowers fail him and his team is beaten by 4 goals. after this j.p goes back to the lads house and has some cans, admires the beerymid "its a monument to the drunken life of the student" and looks at apres match. goes back to daves house then to jam on the guitar, and also to piss out said cans of carling previously drank. dave kicks out j.p around 3ish and he then wanders home, not getting stabbed or assoulted by the mean limerick sreets.
THURSDAY
I spy with my little eye, something beginning with L. loser, lowlife, either will do, j.p spends the whole day in bed coming to terms with his new super powers with great mental uncertainty. he gets up after 12 as he has to go and pay the gas bill, but fails even this simple task, alterenatively going in to collage to surf the net like the lowlife that he is. he meets brian laffan and they agree to go out and get bollicked that very night, but j.p has to go into thopsons gaff to get his 2 shoes, which were under the sofa along side a by now extremely dusty hat. this doing, maura admires j.ps shirt but calls it blue, so is vehemently disagreed with by j.p and thopson who say its green. j.p admires joes new fone, taking pictures of his own shoes. and dave.
ON THE PISS
j.p goes into mollies with about 20 minutes of the 2.50 a pint promotion left. he is quite aware of this and so buys himself 3 pints while waitig for laffin to come and talkin to brendan whelan. all the rest of the lads arrive after a while and encourage john to buy himself a few more, as there is only 3 minutes of the promotion left. this done, j.p has now about 6 pints on the table and fecks them down at a steady rate, so after a while he is quite jolly.
THE MARKET
j.p has to convince laffin to come in after his shirt was pulled asunder, who comes in. davey pulls a cracker (not) nothing else happens the lads go home.
FRIDAY
j.p wakes up quite resfeshed and not at all fucked up like he thought he would be. goes to collage, comes home, actually pays the gas bill. he has now gotten used to his new found powers and fires off all the way in to the city centre to tomsons house, leaving limerick a glossy cream colour all over, and bring great joy to all who see him.
john leaves for huddersfield town on saturday, but is arrested in the airport for being too damn hansome, so must go back to lit monday next.
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