"Baby Logan's Story"
I had to wait 2 weeks after Logan was born to actually hold him in my arms. He was so small, so fragile, wrapped up in 2 blankets, it barely felt like I had a baby to hold (all 400 grams of him). Pretty scary.
Two days later, Logan and I did kangaroo care for the first time. I don't know if I can adequately describe how wonderful of an experience it was to feel his warm tiny body so close to mine. Again, scary, but I finally felt like I had a baby and that he was mine.
Logan's first kangaroo with mom at 16 days old.
I remember how all the nurses taking care of Logan told me he knew my voice, and encouraged me talk to him, and how they always commented that his heart and respiratory rates would improve (lower) when I talked to him, and how I felt when I finally believed them, as I slowly came to realize this was true as I learned more about the monitors and what they meant.
But I especially remember a time we did kangaroo care, he was still very small, approximately 700 grams, (but using a nasal cannula when I held him) when he started crying during the transition from isolette to mom, but the instant his little body touched mine his cry turned to a sigh (in the same breath). He knew where he was, he knew his mom, and he liked it. This was an overwhelming emotional experience (in a good way) and still is every time I think of it. I relate his knowing the feel of my body to knowing my voice, they were both reassuring and important to him.
I lost track of all the times the nurses and/or respiratory techs would tell me how well Logan did with kangaroo care (heart and resp. rates), and how well he did and "looked" afterwards.
As Logan grew, his transition (to kangaroo care) was gradually easier, most times he did not even cry when he was being messed with, because I believe, he knew I was there and that we were going to snuggle.
Logan in a basket.
I don't why I started, but I kept track of all the hours we spent doing kangaroo care. Before Logan passed away we spent over 140 hours together just doing kangaroo care.
Although this was not enough to save Logan, I'm quite certain that kangaroo care enhanced his short life as best we could, and maybe in some way extended it.
Since the first time Logan and I could not do kangaroo care because someone else was (in my chair!) I had wanted to find another recliner for the unit. At that time I did not have the energy or resources to do so. I'm sure by now you realize how strongly I feel about this.
As Logan grew a little bigger, stronger, was more alert and tolerated more handling, I certainly enjoyed just holding him in my arms, staring at his cute little face, holding his hands, and playing with his fingers and toes, but I sort of missed our kangaroo care snuggles.
I am also aware that Logan did not necessarily meet all the medical "criteria" for doing
Kangaroo care, and I am thankful some of this criteria was overlooked, as some of our best times were spent doing kangaroo care. Also, while Logan was so very small and fragile, and sensitive to his surroundings he did not tolerate being 'held' (in my arms wrapped in blanket) as well as he did kangaroo care. Had we not been able to do kangaroo care, I would have spent all those hours in the dark, alone, next to his isolette.
I know there are some nurses who would probably prefer not to help with kangaroo care, (I could probably tell you who they are) but I would also ask that they put themselves in a mother's place, who had her baby taken from her so early, and ask would they not want to hold their baby as close as possible, and what would they do if this same baby did not do well being held in the more traditional manner (in their arms all wrapped up)???
I think that the "criteria" for kangaroo care should be reviewed and changed (or at least modified to allow some flexibility in criteria based on an individual baby's condition and mothers need).
I know many mother's are not able to do kangaroo care because of special problems their babies may have and this is very sad. But I would encourage any mother or father and baby that could, to do kangaroo care, especially with the very small and very premature babies that missed out on all that extra warm quiet time they should have spent growing inside mom.
I hope this helps the NICU staff to take a close look at kangaroo care, how it helps the babies and the parents that are limited in the time and how it is spent with their babies (not having them at home).
I know our lives together were enriched by the kangaroo care time spent together.
Another issue I would like to mention is "cluster cares". I know this is also something somewhat new and controversial to the NICU. I believe all the little things that were done for Logan, placing him in an isolation room for noise control, putting up signs on the bookshelf in the adjoining room, changing his scheduled cares, so that he was disturbed the least amount of times during a day (i.e. blood pressure checks, etc.); watching him closely for cues that his cares were disturbing to him, and listing them for easy reference, including the things that he 'liked' really made a difference, especially when the nurses actually paid attention to these cues and became familiar with Logan. While this is something that would not be possible for all babies because of their short stays, I think it is essential that any baby destined for a long term stay be assessed for and provided care based on their individual needs as much as possible to give them every opportunity for a better outcome.
I know Logan's own spirit and determination also played a part in his amazing little life and had his liver not failed, I think the combination of kangaroo care, cluster cares and his own will to survive, together, with all the "other" necessary cares would have let me bring my baby home....
Thank you for sharing this information, I hope it helps.
Sincerely,
Janella Gaal, mother to "heavenly angel" Logan.
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