Losing Friends...

Shocked witnesses to the crashes

An FM radio is our entertainment at work. People having long grown weary of listening to the same MP3s, a change was in order and a serviceable radio, replete with CD player and a pair of cassette decks joined our ranks. Of course with the repertoire of channels to chose from each and every day a ballet of sorts proceeds in which everyone, apparently being on some business that necessitates passing within the proximity of the radio, flips in to his or her channel of choice. Like any other day we were idling after a quite satisfying lunch when a song was interrupted in the middle and a news announcer informed us that there was an accident at the World Trade Center! Apparently a plane had flown into it and the resulting fracas had to be seen to be believed. Needless to say we were very curious as to what a plane would be doing in that very neighbourhood and after a through and quite pointless analysis we thought no more of it and returned to work. About twenty minutes later the same gent interrupted to inform us that another plane had flown into the same World Trade Center! I assure you that now a sneaking certainty begun to dwell on us. This could not possibly be another accident! More details came in - another tower had been hit.

The remainder of the afternoon proceeded with everyone getting more and more uneasy. News came in of the collapse of the towers, then the second crash at the Pentagon, and that is when something akin to fear begun to develop. If someone could strike at the very heart of the defence institutions of what is arguably the most powerful country in the world, how secure was it? And what was more worrying was the repercussions of a retaliation on the part of the aggrieved country. Nuclear warfare is a very sobering thought indeed and I must confess I have always thought of the current leader as a "knee jerk reaction' kind of fellow. At some time in the past I have read extensively on the development, use and capabilities of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons and quite frankly that knowledge I'd rather not have. Suffice it to say that a launch of a single unit of either would leave the word reeling from its effects for quite some time to come, and the fact that several other countries are in possession of such is no small comfort! When I left the announcer, who I could tell had lost his usual calm demeanor (not that I blame him) was indicating that there was a fourth flight that was deviating from its flight path and paying no heed to calls from control towers.

Hearing it on radio and reading on some web page is a vastly different affair from seeing the events on television. I went home straight to the TV and each and every channel was showing the same story. I sat down before the television and watched a clearly apprehensive reporter trying to recap the facts of the story. And then some footage of the disaster was run, and I watched in stunned disbelief as the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapsed on themselves in what seemed to be slow motion. Some seconds later I was watching in shock as the second plane loops smartly round the tower and then slammed into it with a loud explosion, with a flat thunderclap pf sound and a ball of flame. Well, I am not easily moved but I was on that very day. Indeed I was. And the succeeding footage was no less encouraging. A reporter down at the street level began to ask questions and one of the questions he asked I believe is the most ridiculous question that I have every heard on the air. He asked a gentleman "What do you think of this all?"

That gent looked at the reporter in some disbelief and I do believe his face reddened slightly and he replied: "I've just seen 14 people jump from the top floors of this thing to become stains on the road. What do you think I feel?"

And then there were the people who had loved ones working at the WTC and I remember in particular that there was a lady who was looking for her fianc�e and her grief was quite evident and that same tactless reporter repeated his ridiculous questioning to her. Indeed my friends there are some things that man is not supposed to experience and death of a five thousand people in one stroke is one of them.

I was taking in all this destruction and grief and I confess quite unashamedly that I was moved to tears after a few minutes of this. The phone rang and quite innocently I answered.

When you are informed that your best friend who had just begun working at the WTC was a victim of that terrorism, the shock you fell is quite real - like a kick to the stomach. Of course you'd like to deny but when the mother informs you that she has the body, there is little room for argument. The fact that three other good friends were also unfortunate enough to have visited her at her place of work is simply the straw that broke the camel's back. There is simply nothing that you can do to adjust to the facts. That someone you have known for close to 8 years to an extent that you are at a stage when you can tell what the other thinks - that there is more than mere friendship. Of course you will get plenty of advice, the same canned response - "These things happen" and "it was meant to be" and that kind of thing but I assure you that dispensing these canned phrases and being in the middle of it is a vastly different affair. In addition to dealing with this loss the onus was upon me to tell the families of the affected!

The government, all due respect, was by and large useless. The Minister for Foreign affairs announced quite confidently that no Kenyans were affected and relief flooded thousands of parents (How they arrived at this conclusion short of the use of Oracles I cannot even begin to imagine). Including the ones that I was going to see. If a mother has just been told that her only son is alive and well and then someone comes to tell otherwise - it seems like a cruel joke. Of all the things that I have ever had to do breaking the news to distressed families that their children are no more is certainly the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, and to date am still plagued by nightmares. One of the families, which I recall vividly, was one that had lost an only son. I recall standing before the father and the mother and being unable to frame the words and tell them that their only son was no more. They just knew. I left that house a weary and defeated man.

And how do you tell a little girl who does not know what death is that her brother will not be coming back? The mother and father upon hearing the news were quite overwhelmed and small children are quite astute at reading moods and she knew something was wrong. She was expecting her brother to play with her in a week's time and she demanded that I tell her where he was. Mother and father were still in grief so the burden fell on my shoulders. My friends, "There, there, things will work out" will not work on a little girl deprived of a big brother she dotes on.

It's funny how we can feel so detached about things when they do not directly affect us but when they do - oh how we feel it! How we are detached from the bombing and shooting in Palestine until a bomb actually goes off in our very own Town Center! Well, it is difficult to get to terms with such a loss but it is possible. There is no room in a healthy mind for animosity and hatred. I have no desire to kill Osama Bin Laden or see him killed for that matter. I do not wish to torture him or maim him or anything of the sort for two excellent reasons:

1. What will I possibly benefit from that? Satisfaction, you say? If you are the kind of person to derive satisfaction from the misfortunes of some other person, then I fear we are not on the same wavelength.
2. How will torturing and maiming him make me any different from him?

Marc
Sunday 7 October 2001 1700H GMT

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