| Top Abnormailities My Child Will Posses* |
| * The reason why my children will be doomed to these qualities is because they are the very qualities that I make fun of... Oh! And God hates me. These were complied with the help of two friends who might want to remain nameless because their children too will posses these qualities. They will therefore forced to be friends because no one else willl like them. |
| * Ugly babies * Babies with weird ass foreheads * Chubby babies (with rings of fat around their wrists) * completely bald babies (past a certain age) * babies that you have to say are cute because their mom thinks they are the cutest thing ever to live but they are really the ugliest * the way that toddlers stand for like 2.5 sec. then fall in a lump on their diaper * people who fall a lot * kids on a leash things--the fact that your kid needs a leash is questionable * loud, obnoxious kids * kids that ask too many gd questions * ones with speech impediments * kids that wipe their runny nose on their arm * kids that wear stupid shirts with cartoon/Disney...characters on them (just because they're kids doesn't mean they need to be fashionably challenged... * asthma * acne * 3-inch-penis erect (if boy) * people who eat shit (i.e. falling is hella funny) * stupid people. who do stupid things.. who say stupid things. just stupid people in general. |
| The list is in no particular order: |
| Ponder this: All around the world people have these abnormalities, but there's probably not one person with all of them...... |
| Ones that we saw fit to add: |
| * Children who always seem to have a dirty face, especially around their mouth/nose which always appears sticky... * Children who are on the "hooked on phonics" ads... also, the "Sylvan Learning Center" ads or whatever... * Children who have to take ritalin/have ADD, ADHD, are hyperactive, etc. Baselly children with learning disabilities! ;) * One word: HELMETS! (as in they have to wear them) * Little kids who have to wear thick glasses (normally bright plastic frames, sometimes far-sighted lenses) and are allergic to everything (they're always sneezing/have a runny nose) * Kids who throw massive tantrums, which include arching their backs and stiffening their whole body so their parents can't pick them up (heh heh heh) (i.e. BRATS) * The guy in the goodwill commercial who lives on "Pearl street" and "has a very good job!" ;) |