Anyway, the first group is the group of students that actually do their work. Now, these are not just the crazies in the AP classes that have to deal with the likes of Callaghan and Krizman, but also the kids that do not take AP and Honors classes but still are not wasting away their high school years by boozing it up and such filth. (Although I am sure that boozing it up every once and a while would be okay if you still kept on top of things...) But back to what I was saying. These lovely kids always do their work and are on time, yada, yada, yada. I will not spend too much time on these folk because even though they are the best (and I do not mean to insult the others) they are also the most boring ones.
Okay, the second group is the group I like to call the Losers. Now I know the term "loser" can be a bit on the insulting side, but folks, let's face it, these people are a bunch-o-losers. These are the charming young individuals that do not do their work and are not on time and party every night and give the teachers hell. At times they can lighten the sometimes very tense mood in those classrooms, but once again we have to face the facts-- does anybody really want these people hanging around? I don't think so. They may want to hang around each other and god forbid they get some work done, but I don't really think anyone from group one wants someone from the Loser crowd to have anything to do with them. However, once in a while you can get that very special someone who makes the cross-over. This is the person who can't take that pressure from their mother after she meets with the principal and is forced to "shape up and start doing your work or else your father and I are sending you to military school in Virginia!" Now these people obviously don't have that special kind of military gut inside them so they hit the books and get laughed at by their friends whose parents haven't had that meeting with the principal yet.
The third group at beautiful, charming Placer are the cool teachers who still have some sort of sense. These are the teachers such as Janus (who I have never had but I hear is "the coolest teacher ever"), Burge, "Grundy", and others. These are the teachers and faculty that still have brains. Now this group is a bit on the boring side too, so let's skip to group four, those dumbasses in the office and the occasional teacher that is just like those dumbasses in the office.
Ahhhh...group four. By far, these are the worst, most horrible, savage creatures that ever roamed the little town of Auburn. They are obviously attracted to this hell hole town because they know there is only once school here so kids can't leave when they make their lame-ass, infuriating, heads-up-their-asses rules. But we love these faculty members that are in group four, right? Hell no, and here's why... Obviously these members of the group four have the devil inside them. That would be the only reason why they can't make the schedule straight, why they can't figure out that track needs to be 5th period, why if someone needs to get out of an AP econ class they can't. They aren't all in the office though. Oh no. These people have got themselves spread throughout the school because they know they can take over this damn school. If you haven't noticed, we get a new principal pretty much every year. Don't think that is because the principals that were at Placer for that very short time got better jobs. No way. It's because they couldn't take the morons who run the show down there
"on the hill." (By the way, whoever made up that expression is probably the devil himself and deserves to be trampled by group two. They'd be so drunk they would think they're getting laid or something. They're so fucked whose knows what they're thinking.) But it's just not the goons in the office, it's people like loving Mr. Barry up in leadership who are so up tight about the lines at homecoming that they can't see straight and threaten to cancel prom if someone sneezes.
So these are pretty much the folks at Placer. Bet you can't wait to get back to life "on the hill."
Thanks, folks, you were great.