I could have had the aspirations to climb Everest, because only blondes seem know, of course, that it wouldn't be that hard.
I could have one day been the ruler of the world and killed bad old Mr. Saddam Hussein. (Wait, who is he again?)
I could have chewed more gum than everyone else in the world combined and done my hair while sitting in class by twirling it around my finger. Wow, I could have mastered multi-tasking.
I could avoid doing all homework in school and make my way in the world by sleeping with all my bosses.
I could have had a really nice cell phone and been one of the cool girls that answers her phone in the bathroom while making sure that their hair and make-up are all done.
I could have been an extra in one of the "Austin Powers" movies and I would have been on camera and I would still be multi-tasking.
I could have had one of those to-die-for laughs that all blondes have that never, ever, without exception, annoy people. And I could have been able to laugh at everything and anything as if that was the funniest thing I ever saw in my whole life and actually say, "Oh my gaw. That is the funniest thing I have ever seen," while talking in that extra cool valley girl voice.
I could have carried my books around without a backpack just so I could show off my purple with pink hearts cell phone.
I could have used really sophisticated words like "definately, "totally," and "seriously" 15 times in every sentence.
I could have been the smartest and funniest thing that ever was, and the prettiest.
I could have accomplished so much...if only I was blonde...
Thanks, folks, you were great.
