Title: Binet
By: Ron Sidney


I don't know what to say,
(Sigh)...
Just your presence was a blessing.
Its hard for me to pay respects through words, 
But since you been gone I haven't mourned.
Tried not to think about it much for real.
I realize though, that these repressed feelings need healing, 
And this is my way of coping.
You know what,
I even took your picture out of my wallet.
On the back you put that I always knew the right things to make you smile,
Oh how I loved that smile.
I always had a thing for you girl,
Ever since we was kids.
Shit, you was the first girl I ever called on the phone.
But just seeing you on the bus was enough though.
You don't know how much it hurt me to see you go,
Hurt me so much that I couldn't even go to your funeral.
God knows what would had happened to me seeing you laying in that casket and all, 
Especially after seeing Teddy like that.
I heard it was real sad though.
But I ain't wanna remember you that way.
I wanna remember passing notes in Mrs. Vargas class during 4th period.
If I have any regrets though,
It would be not going with you to my senior prom.
Than to get stood up...
You know what though, I always was jealous of your boyfriends,
But I could live with your decisions.
I guess now I should be hating on God cause you in his arms now,
I ain't mad though.
In the back of my mind I always knew one day things would work out, you know.
Maybe we could have shacked up, both got jobs, 
Made some babies, send them to college or what not...
I done forgot how to dream now.
You know how I hate to be disappointed.
Its been a little over a year now,
But I can see your beautiful brown smile clear as day,
Hearing you say "Ron you crazy."
Just know you were there made me feel good,
Just knowing you was aight.
Than for you to go under such fucked up circumstances,
I can't get over that, but I guess this is the first step huh.
I seen your mama at church for New Years, Yo she look just like you.
One of your brothers working at my old job down at Food Lion.
Your family doing aight though.
Lower Essex miss you.
I heard your church threw a program in honor of you last month,
I promise I'll be there next year.
I'm aight now girlfriend, no more worries.
I'm just thankful to have known such a beautiful person.
You played a big role in my maturation and I'm grateful for that.
Just know your boy Ron gone do big things and you gone live through him forever.
Rest in Peace Binet.