| Wisdom |
| We're all teens, right? At least most of the people who read this are. As teens we're all really stupid. All of us. Some people might be good at Maths or English or something but when it comes to social skills, we are all rubbish. Now, my idea is that we help each other through this difficult period. How? By sharing wisdom. Collectively, we probably have enough knowledge to bluff our way through a civilised conversation but the way things stand now, we all possess only the odd bit here and there. Apart we're useless but together we're...................not quite as useless. At least that's the theory. My first piece of wisdom is that things rarely turn out how they were planned. Oh, and as I hope you've guessed, you fine people are to help me in this vaguely socialist quest. Please. If you don't I'll just look stupid. |
| 1) Girls don't like you punching them. I know. I was shocked too. |
| 2) Trying to read this colour on a green background makes your eyes go funny. |
| 3) If you voice an opinion on race or any other tender issue, you are wrong. It matters not what you say, it will sound stupid when you say it. I'll tell you this now: there are no definitive, safe statements on these issues. When you're an adult, you're still always wrong, except people take you seriously because you're an adult. As long as you're middle class. Ooh. Political. |
| 4) Sucking a lolly at the same time as drinking beer makes the beer taste rank. |
| 5) Most adults hate you if you're quiet and surly but also if you're too smart for your own good. And also if you try to hard. And also if you hang around in groups of more than 2 on the street. |
| And there you have it. The sum of my individual knowledge. I think you'll all agree that this isn't nearly enough to fake maturity. Please help. It's for the good of the oppressed youth of Britain. Or at least the tiny minority that will see this website. |
| 6) Swearing is big and clever. |