Spontenaity 101
by: Akira 24
-note from cora: this is REALLY hilarious, akira wrote it and posted it on the message board, and I laughed the whole way through. It is REALLY funny. HAHAHA!
*you walk into a room filled with desks*
self: AHEM! *raps for attention* *CRASHHH!!!!!!* dang it, that stupid lava lamp broke again. Well, todays theory class is on the horror of all horrors.
you: and what is that??
self: *glares* think real hard and try not to break anything. thinking too much can cause serious damage in this room.
you: *carefully think about what the horror could be*
*CRAASSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH*
self: DANG IT! there goes the scanner. YOU! stop thinking! *sighs irritatedly* its OBVIOUS you were thinking to hard. dont you know how to think without really thinking?
you: *stare*
self: alright, i'll explain it.... Fudgenuts. *CRASHHHH!!!!!* DANG IT! BUTLER! COME CLEAN THIS UP!
ryo: i refuse to be a butler.
*CRASH* (the jar of gobstoppers)
self: *glare* you know what happens when you refuse to do something. hurry up and get a broom before anything else happens.
ryo: *sigh* i HATE being the butler...who wrote this stupid script?
narrator: sHUT UP! i'm working hard to keep this in order!
g: get on with it.
narrator: YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET! YOURE RUINING THE SCRIPT! AHH! AHH! MY BEAUTIFUL SCRIPT! ITS GOING TO ASHES!
*thunk*
*narrator is unconscious*
g: ok, I"M narrator now. now lets see, page two...line fourteen..... BUTLER!
ryo: *mutters and starts cleaning.*
self: *rearranges fake shotglasses on head then coughs* The horror of all horrors. "What would the internet be like with out the astrix? Moreover, what would RPG's, message boards, fanfics, and instant messages be like without the wonderful all purpose astrix? can you imagine the chaos and confusion?
you: *pale visibly and try to imagine it. horrified, you put a hand to your mouth* NO...
self: *nods* YES. todays lesson is a story book setting analogy of what could happen.
narrator: oooh.. my head...
g: *THUNK* *knocks out narrator with a gavel*
self: now, lets take a little imagined trip to Rowen's room, where he is typing online with the other Ronins.
*blurry image appears of Rowen's room.*
self: someone go tie up that narrator. Kento, you tie him up.
kento: what? but i_ *CRASH* ....ok, with what?
self: i dont care, use....gumby over there.
kento: tie him up with gumby??? ~_~
g: HEY! BACK TO ROWENS ROOM, HELLOOO???
self: *oops* right.
Rowen: *pick a screename any screename for the purpose of playing along. i suggest this one: BlueHairedBoy: *blink* so, whats ^?
HumanFoodCompactor: *stomach growling* i'm hungry...
no.1_chef: what else is new *laughing*
thealmightykingofawesomehairdos: this dang heat is making my hair go flat. *spraying more hairspray*
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: rowen, wheres the block button on the screen? *clicking randomly on things*
BlueHairBoy: why? trying to get rid of all those crazy anime girls? *smirking at akira and cora DT'ed in the corner, scowling at him*
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: *rolls eyes* no, i'm going to block sage so i dont have to listen to his annoying quips every two minutes about his hair.
no.1_chef: *snickering*
HumanFoodCompactor: buuuuurrrrnnn *puts finger on cheek for empahsis.* oouch, that HAD to sting.
theallmightykingofawesomehairdos: shut up!
g: GET TO THE POINT!
*all look up at narrator G.*
rowen: what?
g: you're not following the script again!! you have to follow the script! whats this about my other half akira and cora being DT'ed???
kento: told you she'd find out.
cye: *puts hand over kentos mouth* shhh!!!
g: cut it out already. follow your lines. Page 5, line thirty three! start with kento again. sheesh!!
kento: *shifts through his scriptbook* oh yeah.
HumanFoodCompactor: .........um, i have a problem.
BlueHairBoy: what else is new?
theallmightykingofawesomehairdos: lol, HAHahaha
HumanFoodCompactor: no i'm serious!
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: you? serious? that IS a stretch.
HumanFoodCompactor: hey, stop picking on me! i'm sick of all your disgusting sarcastic quips!
no.1_chef: *wisely remains silent*
BlueHairBoy: why'd you type that cye?
no.1_chef: *blink* heh.
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: its true kento, all yout hink about is food. oops, typo.
BlueHairBoy: kento has several prblms.
no.1_chef: that was problems right? up there?
theallmightykingofawesomehairdos: thats hard to read.
BlueHairBoy: well maybe if you read more it wouldn't be so difficult.
g: HEY HEY HEY! why are you acting like touma? did i SAY in the script you could act like touma? HUH? whats with the sarcastic stuff? thats my job.
rowen: *sigh* its SAYS right here, on line four, BlueHairBoy: *should be acting extremely sarcastic*
g: *SMACK* cant you see that its written in magic marker! someones been messing with the script!!
rowen: oh.
sage: for someone so bright, you really can be a dopehead rowen.
g: you be quiet blondie. alright, page 13.
kento: but i'm still hungr-
*CRASSSHHHH*
no.1_chef: hey kento, i made some food if you wanna come over and calm down your garbage dispo- i mean, your stomach.
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: *laughing*
***timestamp: five minutes pass***
no.1_chef: kento??
thealmightykingofawesomehairdos: maybe he had to, ah, answer the call of nature.
g: OK, HELLO, the POINT of this is to deliver the main PLOT with is the horror of all horrors, the dissapearing ASTRIX! HELLOOO!!!!! ANYONE THERE??????????????????
rowen: you hear something?
kento: wind.
g: *livid* I AM NOT WIND! HEY! FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!
BlueHairBoy: lol laughing hysterically
no.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: that was sick sage. sheesh where do you come up with this stuff? rolling eyes
no.1_chef: hey, isn't there something wrong with this? looking at screen confused
BlueHairBoy: he probably went to go raid someones fridge smirking, most likely g's fridge. cracking up laughing
theallmightykingofawesomehairdos: smirking at comment. he probably went to go chase the ice cream truck LMAO.
no.1_chef: hey guys, dont you see something wrong here?
no.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: maybe hes sitting here reading all of this shrugs
g: guys, why are you ignoring cye?
ryo: what?
rowen: no we're not...did he type something?
cye: sighs several somethings....hey! its not working here either!
g: pales uh oh. this play wasn't supposed to be for real! who did this!
sage: confused who did what?
kento: ahh, the power of milk. or is it cheese. dang i cant remember! smack oh well its all the same
*CRASHHHHH*
BlueHairBoys: so what were you saying cye?
g: HEY! wheres my editor!!
editor: meekly arrives yes?
g: you misspelled BlueHairBoy. you put an "s" on the end. you cant do taht! and now you're missing spelling mistakes. sigh what do we pay you for???
editor: sorry somethings wrong with the program, shrugs.
BlueHairBoy: so what were you saying cye?
no.1_chef: well for some reason my Astrix's aren't showing up, and kento's dissapeared.
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: scrolling up .... you're right, the AStrixs aren't working. and how do you know kento dissapeared?
thealmightykingofawesomehairdos: editor, you made another mistake. oh, back in character. um. dang. forgot the line.
g: okay, first of all, editor, on ryo's post, you made the S uppercase on Astrix secondly, you're all supposed to be frightened and scared out of your wits that the Astrixs are gone. HELLO!!! the ASTRIX IS THE KEY COMPONENT OF INTERNET TYPING!! act alive here!! thirdly, sage, dont say stuff like that. just read the lines. its not THAT difficult.
fourthly. stop ignoring cye.
no.1_chef: i know kento's dissapeared because....um..... thinking of something to say cause the script say so.
g: SMACK
CRASH
g: nudges rowen
BlueHairBoy: sigh GOOD LORD THE ASTRIXS ARE GONE! AHHH!!! OH NO HELP US! THE INTERNET WORLD IS COLLAPSING!!
g: i see some hope for you yet rowen
rowen: thanks
g: in a mental institution that is
rowen: but you told me too???
g: what?
thealmightykingofawesomehairdos: HOLY SHNIKES! YOURE RIGHT! THE ASTRIX ARE GONE!! covers face WHAT EVER SHOULD WE DO??? checking script for next line HELPPPPP!!!!!
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: turns red. no, wait, turns white. hey g, i cant follow the script.
g: SMACK
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: ow. right. OH NO!! HOW DO WE SURVIVE WITHOUT THE ASTRIX!! entire global communities will collpase!! the message boards will die! no one will be able to understand the difference between talking and actions!! OH NO! not to mention the inherent doom of one on one conversations on aol instant messanger.
g: SMACK SMACK
BlueHairBoy: oh no! none of my computer programs work! none of- hey g, i refuse to say this.
g: migraine. why?????
rowen: because theoretically, while there is a slim chance none of my efforts would solve this problem, it simply isnt true.
g: THATS THE POINT YOU CACTUS BRAIN! its fiction. fan FICTION!!!!! fiction=non truth. false. no bearing in reality whatsoever. spazzing allowed. GET IT??????
rowen: huffs and crosses arms i still refuse.
CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
CRASH
crash
g: JUST SAY IT!
rowen: nope
crash
rowen: i cant say it if its not true.
crash
g: is your hair blue?
rowen: of course it is.
g: NO ITS NOT! YOU LIED! THEREFORE YOU HAVE TO SAY THE LINE!
rowen: what do you mean my hairs not blue? of course it is. dont be ridiculous.
g: from where i'm standing, its not blue. you wanna know why? CAUSE IM SO MAD IM SEEING RED!! YOUR HAIR IS RED RIGHT NOW GET IT?
rowen: quickly finishes line none of my efforts are working! my internet connection cant handle the stress! OH NO- ___rest of message not received due to user connection failure___
g: EDITOR!!!
editor: sorry the above should have been stated BlueHairBoy: then following message.
thealmightykingofawesomehairdos: hhhaha Rowen got boote-
___message not received due to user connection failure___
no.1_chef: uh oh
theno.1animemaleallattentiongettingpyro: this is bad. no astrix, no kento, no rowen, no sage, the editor is malfunctioning, g has a migraine, shudders and now we-___message not received due to user connection failure___
no.1_chef: crap. what now? hello? anyone? anyone there? troubleshooting helper? editor? help? scriptwriter????
silence
crash
cye: HEY! this isn't funny! where is everyone, seriously??
voice: MWAHAHHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cye: ....whos there?
voice: MWAHHAH!!! my foul plans have succeeded! the internet has been taken down due to my ASTRIX VIRUS ENHANCER!!!! MWAHHAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!1
cye: then why are we still talking on internet form?
voice: .....silence......shutup, and let me gloat.
cye: sooRRRYYY.. sheesh.
voice: MWAHHAHHAHAH!!!!!
cye: ....kento? is that you? are you the one typing voice: mwhahahhah and stuff?
voice: silence
cye: kento, what are you doing???
voice: kento: dang it cye, you ruined my cover! sheesh! what'd you go and do that for??? you guys are so mean to me you always pick on-
cye: kento, sorry, but shut up.
kento: hmph.
cye: why did you unleash the anti-astrix program??
kento: mumble
cye: shakes head
cye: come one now, spill. why did you do that? you ruined the internet for everyone! anime freaks everywhere will be chanting your name calling for your beheading! think of it! you took away the ASTRIX! YOU CANT DO THAT!!!!!
kento: the script said so.
cye: where?
kento: page 28, line five. HumanFoodCompactor: should theoretically unleash anti-astrix program.
cye: SMACK kento, thats THEORETICALLY! NOT FOR REAL! NOW YOUVE REALLY RUINED EVERYTHING! I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS FOR REAL!!
theoretical g: hands cye glass of water
cye: sips continues YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PRETEND TO DO THAT KENTO! SHs! i cnt blv u rlly dd tht! whts wrng w/ ths? y am i shrtneng evy thng?????
knt: i dnt knw! im sry!!! i dnt knw!!
cy: grt. jst grt.
so it was, the internet crashed due to kentos absentminded ness, rowens sarcastic quips, sages annoying hair spraying, ryos ego flaring with all the attention, and cye being ignored, no one following the scripts, the narrator being knocked out, and total internet failure due to the constant and irritation crashing. thank you. oh, and also de to the fct tht al the wrds kpt bng shrtnd by sme gltch. hy whts w/ ths?????
cy: tks a bow
knt: alo tks a bow
sge: ths scks
ry: yh it des
rwn: ths ist fuy
g: j u s t k e e p y o u r w o r d s s h o r t b y s p a c i n g a l o t.
rwn: wht??
SMACK
(the above was a result of my extreme boredness. i felt like posting for no reason get it? yup. the characters reactions and sayings were not my fault. it was that stupid sriptwriter, whereever that evil person went. heh. so. and i DIDNT make up those screenames..heh..so maybe i did. sue me. you can very well identify how scary it would be if we had no ASTRIXs. so the lesson is: mind the narrator. akira: stares at script: mind the narrator? what the-
narrator: finishes yes that is a wise lesson. mind the narrator. follow the script. if you dont, you might get the horror of all horrors. the anti-astrix. shudder what could be worse than that? the anti-: shudder.
akira hey its not working!!
narrator pales
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