getover
Getting Over Interviews
Michael waits in the lobby for his interview. His hands are sticky and wet, his heart is beating faster than usual and his mouth feels like cotton. The interviewer approaches, and Michael has to wipe his hand on his pant leg before shaking hands.
This is a familiar scenario in company lobbies throughout the world. The job interview can be very stressful for most people. Since one of our top fears is rejection and one of our top needs is acceptance, it is not surprising that interviews make people sweat.
A Change in Thinking
The first and most important step in overcoming the fear is to put the interview in perspective. This is not an appointment with the dentist, who may inflict pain. It is a conversation with another person. The worst thing that can happen is you won't get the job, which may not have been the right job for you anyway.
Second, think of this conversation as a two-way process. You are interviewing potential employers as much as they are interviewing you. Is there a good fit here? What looks good on paper may not be what it appears for either party. Investigate whether this company is a good place for you and whether you want to invest a significant part of your life here.
Calming Techniques
One of the best techniques to handle stress is through breathing. Take deliberate shallow breaths. Take air in through the nostrils and exhale, quietly, through the mouth. This technique should be practiced to relax before the interview.
Relaxation techniques and meditation classes are effective in overcoming extreme cases of interview fright. The interview can cause panic attacks if the fear is strong enough. Preconditioning will do wonders for this type of anxiety.
Prepare Before the Interview
Michael has been to six interviews in the past two months. He has been runner-up for a couple of the jobs but has received no solid offers.
These are competitive times, and rejection can be expected. Competition for jobs is much keener than it was a year ago. It is important, however, to do everything possible to sell yourself by preparing for the interview. Start thinking of yourself as a product and presenting what you have to offer the company.
Can you imagine giving a performance without some practice and preparation? Winging the interview in today's market is a big mistake. Preparation will make you feel more confident and less anxious.
Fear of Rejection
Because of the number of interviews with no offer, Michael feels defeated, and it is beginning to affect his self-esteem.
Such rejection hurts, but try not to take it personally. There are so many factors that could be affecting the offer that it is impossible to say what is happening. There may be internal candidates, relatives promised jobs, a competitor who is a perfect match for the position, a lack of chemistry or a mismatch in salary needs.
Let It Go
When Michael has done everything to prepare for the interview and is satisfied that he has presented himself in the best light possible, the next step is to let it go. There is something to be learned from each interview.
Give yourself credit for getting an interview -- only a small percentage of people get this far in the process. Give yourself credit for going out there and putting yourself on the line, even though it is painful for you. Give yourself permission to not get job offers. Believe that an offer will come through when it is the right offer -- the right fit for the company and for you.
Successfully Closing the Interview
"So, when do I start?" A question like that is about as aggressive as you can get at the close of the interview. It may knock the interviewer for a loop and appear to be overly aggressive, but some people think of it as closing the sale. For some people it has worked. For others this approach may not feel comfortable, or have the same effect. Your comfort level with the close -- whether you are aggressive, passive and polite or somewhere in between -- will depend on your personality, the interview situation and the job for which you are applying.
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Mr. Feeney, the manager of a product development department, held second interviews with two qualified candidates. He was preparing to make a decision to determine which candidate to hire.
The first candidate, Phyllis, was a very savvy interviewer and had related some seasoned experience stories. At the end of the interview, however, Phyllis threw him when she said, "Well, I'm sold. When would you like me to start?" He explained he still had another candidate under consideration. Phyllis smiled and asked when she could expect to hear from him. He told her the decision would be made by Friday. She had said that she looked forward to hearing from him and working together in the future. Mr. Feeney was impressed by her confidence, but put off by her forwardness.
The other candidate, Gregory, had credentials and experience equal to Phyllis's. His interviewing style was on the low-key side. He asked a lot of questions about the future of the company. When the interview was over he stated the reasons he was interested in the opportunity and why he considered himself a good fit for the job. He also asked when Mr. Feeney would be making a decision.
Mr. Feeney's decision will be based primarily on the position and the personality he is seeking. If he is looking for someone in the sales department, Phyllis probably has the better chance of getting the job due to her persuasive style. If, however, he is looking for someone who is more subdued, perhaps for an accounting position, Gregory's low-key style may be more suited. A person's personality and communication style are key factors in the interview decision.
Closing Points
Regardless of your style or how you choose to close the interview, there are some key points to keep in mind:
1. Leave your interviewer with the right picture of you. Think of at least five skills or traits you want remembered after the interview.
2. Ask if there is anything else you can provide, such as references, background information or work samples.
3. State your interest in the position. Don't be overly anxious, but act interested. Remember to mention the added value you can bring to the job.
4. Ask about the next step in the process. It's Important for you to know the next step so you can follow up. Ask for the decision date.
5. Find out how to contact them. If you don't hear back, you will need to know who to contact and whether they will accept calls to check the status.
Closing the sale is important, but your closing should be tailored to the position, your personality and interviewing style and the interviewer. Keeping these things in mind will help you determine which closing is appropriate for you and the situation at hand.
Eating Your Way to a Job Offer
Whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner, interviewing at a meal is a tricky business that could make or break the impression you want to create. The atmosphere is more casual than an office, and you may be tempted to let down your guard and consider this a social event. But remember: This is still part of the interview and should be treated accordingly, both in how you act and talk.
Make Sure Both the Fork and the Words Are the Right Ones
Kristy had done her homework before the interview and carefully placed the napkin on her lap when she sat down. She remembered to order a simple meal, nothing too messy. And, of course, she did not order alcohol, as this was no time to get chatty. She ate while her interviewer talked so she could talk without food in her mouth when it was her turn to answer questions. She was careful not to let the utensil touch the table once she had used it, and when finished, she placed the utensils side by side on the plate. She placed her napkin on the table when she was through and sighed with relief. She had done everything according to the book and was very pleased with her performance.
Unfortunately, she was so focused on making a good impression with her table manners, she didn't notice her host asking personal -- and illegal -- questions.
"Yes, I have two kids," she answered. "They are both in daycare, and it does make for a hectic morning, I agree," she replied to the interviewer's sympathetic statements about working and taking care of a family. The interviewer was certainly getting more than she bargained for at the cost of a meal, and now had information that would take Kristy out of the running because of concern over her children and daycare arrangements. Unfortunate and illegal, but it happens.
During the entire interview, everything we say and do is open to scrutiny. Because a restaurant's atmosphere is friendly and there are distractions, it is easy to forget this is not a social event. There are many horror stories about candidates seasoning food before tasting or asking interviewers if they are going to eat the last halves of their meals. Who would make such blatant errors? Not you, because you've prepared for all of that. But the real trap is in the conversation and what you could reveal.
You should remain confident and professional throughout the entire meal. This does not mean acting stiffly or unfriendly -- be yourself and practice your social skills. This is a great time for you to listen and respond, and may be an opportunity to learn about the company while your interviewers are relaxed and willing to talk more candidly. This is not a time to gossip about previous officemates or the companies you've worked for, even if your interviewer heads in that direction. If you are uncomfortable with the discussion, simply smile and refrain from commenting. Try to steer the conversation back to the job and company.
Remember: A major component of the dining interview is for the interviewer to gauge how you perform in a social setting. Table manners are important, and you should read about basic table etiquette if you need a brush up. If you make an etiquette mistake or use the wrong fork, don't draw attention to it; chances are no one will even notice. But they will remember an inappropriate comment or answer.
Keep in mind, this is not your friend taking you to lunch because he likes you. This is a business situation with someone who is judging whether you are the right person for a position. The interview meal is very much a part of the interview. Bon appetite!
General Dining Interview Tips
� Follow general interview rules: arrive on time, wear proper clothes and be ready to talk experience -- but not with your mouth full.
� Follow your interviewer's lead regarding food and beverages. If he or she is having wine, you might too, if you're comfortable.
� Order something in the middle of the menu prices, if you order first. If you can let others be your guide, select an item in the price range they set.
� Avoid messy foods such as spaghetti, spareribs, crab or fried chicken.
� Remember your table manners. Put your napkin in your lap immediately; place it on the chair when leaving the table. No elbows, no smoking and no fingers.
� Discuss your skills and other relevant issues between bites. If asked a question as you've taken a mouthful, wait until you swallow. Make eye contact to indicate your willingness; your tablemates will understand.
� Keep up with the table -- don't eat faster or slower than everyone else.
� Order dessert if others have. If not, pass it up.
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