(The scene opens to the back lot here in Coors field and as a black limo pulls up, the doors open and out step the brand new WeWA World Tag Team Champions, Vital Operations. With their masks tightly tied onto their heads and the world belts draped over their shoulders, the two men run their thumbs across their throats, and enter the building. With a slam of the door, and screech of the tires a black mustang with tinted windows pulls up and as the window opens only about 2 inches, the WeWA World Heavyweight Championship belt dangles for all to see. As the belt is sucked back up into the mysterious car, the tires burn rubber and the car disappears into the Rookies indoor garage. The fans gasp, and while the scene fades from the outside, it reforms inside the stadium. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! As "Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against drills home the violent rifts, we are shown five of the most sarcastic signs of the opening. First up is "Troy=8"! Second is "Forte, win or SHUT UP!" Third is "Kid Evil is Smoooth" And finally we are shown a rather drunk fan with a sign that says, "Snake Eyes, is GOD!" Panning from the rather controversial signs, the shot is brought back down to Eric Bytchoff and Tony Salami.)
Bytchoff: Hello everyone and welcome to Thursday Night Explosion coming to you "live" from Denver Colorado's Coors Field. Tonight the Rockies have the night off but WeWA is running full throttle! We have just seen the new world tag champions enter the building and in a shocker, the person who stole Snake Eyes World Title belt is in the building! Security is combing the back and word has it, Snake Eyes is ripping the place apart! Folks, I'm your Host Eric Bytchoff and this is my Co-Host Radically Rancid Ryan Ross. Ryan, lets kick this show off with a run down of tonight's matches.
Ryan: Sure thing Eric, opening up this show we will see The Grand Experience go up against The NEW Family.
Bytchoff: You know, both these teams are less than active, the tag division is falling apart at the seems, and for once in my life, I would like to see Komona fired all four men demoting them to the indy leagues. Finally, someone should talk to Vital Operations because should they drop the tag titles in the trash, I'm sure someone who re-instate one of the retired belts! Bottom, line, who cares who wins this match! NEXT!
Ryan: Why so hostile Eric? Hold on, forget I asked. After that we have Eddie Outlaw facing one half of the Crazy Ones in Maniac Mike. How do you see this one?
Bytchoff: I see Maniac Mike getting his clock cleaned by one of the nastiest players in the game. Eddie Outlaw is a strong wrestler and personal, I feel it was he who pulled down the World title belt in last weeks Main Event. Outlaw ends The Crazy Ones once and for all and makes my dream come closer to fine; no more tag team division!
Ryan: You're not going to let this go I see, well then pushing forward we have a Parking Lot Brawl that pits a feud that has become very, very nasty as Johnny Extreme locks up with Evil Sam Natas.
Bytchoff: Natas is a mental lunatic and I don't care if Johnny Extreme has lost 100 of his last bouts, Sam will kick him from lamp post to lamp post perhaps ending this so called Extreme icons stay here in the WeWA. And if you don't believe me, Sam sent us this personal picture of him and sledge looking for Jack Kraven in the woods. You tell me if this guy is really sick.
(The ovaltron fades and the fans just shake their heads.)
Ryan: That guy is one sick bastard! Ok, now that I've crapped my pants, BACW Heavyweight Championship on the line as my main man "Smooth" Kid Evil locks horns with Roxanne.
Bytchoff: Roxanne is a former shell of the hardcore legend we once loved and cherished, and with Kid Evil getting stronger by the day, I need to for once tell it like it is. Evil knocks Roxanne into the dirt and continues a most impressive title reign.
Ryan: I like your thinking, finally you have become a smoothy!
Bytchoff: You will not refer to me as a smoothie.
Ryan: Whatever grandpa. Hardcore rules and my how Karl Davis needs this win against a very seasoned Alastor Stonewall. This is a main event anywhere in the world, and the fact that it's fourth from the top shows you how much talent we have in the WeWA.
Bytchoff: Karl Davis is another one who claims to have pulled the world title off the hook and with the mysterious hand in the building, we just may find out what really happened the night the lights went out. I love Davis, but Alastor is just too tough for the assassin.
Ryan: WeWA IC Hardcore Championship puts champion Mike Johnson up against a very timid Dark Demon.
Bytchoff: Dark Demon has no business being in a title match, and if I was booking the matching I would have this to say. Mike Johnson is the cream of the crop here in the WeWA and matching him up against sour milk is just not going to get you any ratings. Johnson in a landslide, and I hope our management learns from this poor booking.
Ryan: I gotta agree, but what about Spaz Forte verses Stevey Sinister? It's for Sinister's World Television Championship and this one is also a main event anywhere in the world.
Bythcoff: Stevey Sinister is one of the brightest stars on this card and with the recent loss of Spaz Forte's thumb, I don't the Ambassador is up to taking on the golden boy. Sinister retains, and Forte's losing streak goes to 3! And finally, in our Main Event of the evening, we will see our World Heavyweight Champion Snake Eyes in a Strap Match against one of the WeWA rookies, his name, "The Human Enigma" Troy Flash!
Ryan: Troy Flash will shock the world and once all the smoke clears, we will be seeing this match up next week for the title!
Bytchoff: Well folks, that our card from start to finish, 18 athlete's jammed into 3 hours of wrestling. Ring announcer Michael Stuffher ready for the introductions. Let go to the ring!
Stuffher: Tag team fans this next contest is scheduled for one fall and will determine a new number one contender for the WeWA World Tag Team Championship! About to enter the stadium, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at over 700 pounds!! This is the team of The Grand Experience!
(The curtain parts and out steps Eternity and Grandmaster. Both men have their huge guts hanging out, and as they give each other the high five, They are blasted in the head by the world tag team champion's Vital Operations. Kicks and punches rain down across the backs of The Grand Experience and slamming both men into the guardrail, the masked team looks to turn it up a notch. Placing their belts on the infield dirt, both Eternity and Grand Master are crippled by a spike pile driver onto the championship gold! Grand master is busted open like a can of tomatoes and with one swift swing of a steel chair_CRACK_Eternity follows suit. Vital Operations spits on the fallen team and kicking dirty in their face, enter the ring. The medics are screaming for help, and it's apparent to all in attendance, Grand Master is seriously hurt. Grabbing hold of the mic, the champions speak.)
VO#1: Well, well, well, it seems the two pansies who wanted a shot at our belts, got a premature surprise. WeWA, we are here to hurt people, and dismantle this tag team division.
VO#2: We are the "The Future" of professional wrestling, and whether or not was have on our Killer Loop sunglasses or not, the results will always be the same.
VO#1: So if there are any two men in the back, who want to feel the big hurt, get out here, because we are in a generous mood to defend these titles.
(The crowd erupts with cheers are Luther Dayne and Destroyer the former champions come sprinting out of the back. Dayne dives under the bottom rope head first and as Destroyer steps over the top rope, both men are clubbed over their respective heads with blackjacks! Dayne stumbles to his feet and is driven over the top rope via a VO#1 high knee. Destroyer cripples into the ring and is tossed onto the back of his head with a VO#2 belly to belly suplex. Big splash off the top rope by VO#1 and the irate, the crowd begins to toss garbage into the ring.)
Ryan: This is a good ole southern beaten courtesy of the world tag team champions!
Bytchoff: Destroyer just got hit with a double clothes line and my lord, two on one spike pile driver makes this one all but over! The referee drops down to one knee and the here's the count. 1.. 2.. 3!
Ryan: It's over and while Vital Operations continues the offensive assault, Luther Dayne is leaving his partner for dead!
Bytchoff: No, no, no, I think Dayne is hurt and is just going to the back for help.
Ryan: Help? Destroyer is the one needing help and good gaaaaawwwwdddddd, they just broke open Big "D"!
Bytchoff: Destroyer is tossed over the top rope and folks, the champions have the mic once again.
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the bout and STILL WeWA Tag Team Champions of the World! Vital Operations!!
VO#1: Now as we were saying, we are the premiere team in the WeWA, and as of right now, if you are on the roster, your life is endanger. And you may have to be admitted into the hospital for a Vital Operation.
VO#2: Remember the name fellas! VITAL OPERATIONS! And Crazy Ones, get ready, cus here it comes!
(Scooping up their titles and delivering a boot to the mid-section and face of an unconscious Destroyer, the super team leaves with huge smiles on their faces.)
Bytchoff: Fans, I have just been told both Grand Master and Destroyer have suffered serious injuries and are going to be sidelined for quite some time. Pretty much the tag division has been dismantled in less than 30 minutes and without The Grand Experience and The New Family to bother Vital Operations, I think the next victim in the eyes of VO are The Crazy Ones.
Ryan: Don't speak too fast because it's going to happen next week Eric!!
Bytchoff: I heard Ryan, I heard! WeWA World Tag Team Championship has just been signed for next week as Vital Operations will defend against The Crazy Ones! What a block buster announcement!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen this is our Bunk House Brawl and it's set for one fall with a 45 minute time limit. Already in the ring, he hails from the place where only the insane are committed, this is "Maniac" Mike!
(Mike shakes his head back and forth like a wet dog but can't shake off the angry grin plastered across his face.)
Ryan: Maniac huh?
Bytchoff: You can't tell?
Stuffher: And his opponent, coming down the isle, he is the man that would sell his soul to the devil if it meant screwing you. This is Eddie Outlaw!
(The ovaltron stops flashing the Outlaw symbol and entering the ring, the big New Jersey native begins to put the bad mouth on his opponent.)
Ryan: I think Mike may just snap.
Bytchoff: Oh! Outlaw just walked up to Mike and punched him in the face, how's that for an offensive maneuver? Irish whip into the ropes by Outlaw and here we GO!
(Maniac bounces off the ropes hard and is struck by a downward sidewalk slam! BOOM! Lifting up Mike into the corner, Eddie reaches back and follows through with a few hard chops to the chest. The crowd responds with every slap.)
Crowd: [Chop] Smoooth! [Chop] Smoooth! [Chop] Smoooth!
(Irish whip into the opposite corner and Maniac hits the turnbuckle with a THUD! Eddie rushes in and raising his leg connects with a high knee to the face of Mike. Propping Maniac Mike up onto the turnbuckle, Outlaw signals to the crowd he's going for a superplex! Grabbing a hand full of tights, and lifting upwards, Maniac lands a hard knee to the mid-section and Eddie falls off the turnbuckle and onto his back.)
Bytchoff: Maniac Mike just countered the superplex and my god he just took Eddie's head off with a top rope clothes line.
Ryan: Body slam by Mike and allowing Eddie to get to his feet, Maniac connects with a point blank vertical drop kick.
(With the momentum going his way, Mike points to the top rope and launching himself off, misses with a clothes line. Maniac charges but Eddie lifts up his big boot, and sends Mike down to the canvas! Mike gets up against and Eddie head butts Maniac to mat once more.)
Ryan: How is Maniac getting up?
Bythcoff: I don't know but here comes Missing Link, Mike's partner down the isle!
(Link hits the ring hard sending Eddie face first into the mat courtesy of a reverse clothes line. Link begins to put the boots to Eddie and this one's getting out of control!)
Bytchoff: Look OUT!!!!!
(Suddenly from the stands, comes a crazy fan with a steel chair. Pushing his way past the security. Dropping the chair in the center of the logo, the fans grabs Link by the hair drilling him onto the steel with a vicious DVD! The fan rolls from the ring and taking off through the crowd, the match still continues! Outlaw has recovered and grabbing hold of the ropes, begins to alternate kicks on both Mike and Link. Eddie blows a snot out of his nose and locking up Maniac Mike, hits his finisher "Sunset". The referee sinks to one knee and slaps the mat hard. 1.. 2.. 3!)
Ryan: Outlaw did it! But who the hell was that guy from crowd?
Bytchoff: I have just been told that the man who attacked Link was the newest of the WeWA's contracted wrestlers.
Ryan: What's his name?
Bytchoff: "The Real Deal" Roy Douglas!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the bout, Eddie Outlaw!
Bytchoff: LOOK OUT EDDIE!!!!
(Dodging a wild chair shot by the recovered Missing Link, Eddie walks backwards up the isle point to his temple. As Outlaw and his big smile vanish, The Crazy Ones take slow, deep, menacing breaths.)
Bytchoff: Fans I hear Alastor Stonewall and Troy Flash are not going to wait until VO finds them, and they are now in the back, knocking on locker room doors!
(The ovaltron lights up and the picture is divided into half... one is a picture of Alastor Stonewall, and the other is of Troy Flash. Both are looking frantically for Vital Operations and as Troy peeks into a locker room, he sees, the team talking. Closing the door slowly, Troy sneaks off to find Alastor for a surprise visit. As the ovaltron fades, we see read a small sign that says, "Operation Room".)
Ryan: Fans, Stonewall and Flash have found the masked men and once they get their attack ready, we will be on hand for the action.
Bytchoff: Eddie Outlaw is victorious and once again Outlaw shows the fans why he is simply the best New Jersey has to offer. Fans our Parking Lot Brawl has begun without us so lets go to the black top!
(The scene opens up with Johnny Extreme and Sam Natas exchanging punches in the center of the lot. Natas with a hard right, Johnny with stinging left. Johnny backs off a bit and kicking hard into the stomach, followed by a pair of bolo upper cuts.)
Ryan: Natas is hurt and Extreme is going for a vertical suplex on the tar!
Bytchoff: Small package by Sam!!! 1.. 2.. 3!!!!!!!
Ryan: Natas wins!
(The referee yells two as Johnny Extreme kicks out at the last minute. Lifting Natas off the black top, Johnny attempts an Irish whip into the into a Ford Bronco. NO! Sam reverses the move and applying a short kick to the mid-section of Extreme, Natas bangs Johnny's head into a the windshield of a Dodge Dart. The windshield cracks and Natas screams, "I want to smell your blood, MOTHERFCKER!!!!" Johnny's forehead begins to bleed from some Natas elbows and the referee looks close. Digging his long black nails into the cut, Natas pulls hard! Irish whip into the door of a Bug and staggering forward, Sam Natas scoops slams Johnny. Extreme arches in pain and jumping off the top of a Dodge Ram, Natas connects with a leg drop!)
Ryan: It's all over! 1.. 2.. 3!!!!
Bytchoff: My god Extreme kicked out!!! What the hell is keeping this guy going I just don't know!
(In a desperation move, Johnny jams his thumbs into the eyes of Sam and pushes Sam to the side. With his vision blurred, Sam pulls sledge out from under the Bug and swinging like a madman, misses Extreme getting Sledge stuck into the window. School boy by Extreme as Natas attempts to free Sledge. 1.. 2.. 3!)
Ryan: I can't believe it! And Natas is furious.
(Grabbing Johnny by the hair, Natas bashes his head into the tar and security floods the scene ripping Natas off Johnny Extreme. Sam Natas is furious and as Johnny is tended to by the medics, the official announcement is read.)
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout by pin fall Johnny Extreme!
Bytchoff: Well it seems Johnny Extreme will walk away the victor, but Sam Natas has definitely shown us he is one of the nastiest wrestlers in the business. Hold on folks, it seems Flash and Stonewall are at the door of the world tag team champions Vital Operations! We are going live to the back and my god, I think Vital Operations is finally going to meet their makers.
(The ovaltron lights up and as Alastor and Troy barge into the room, and masked men are startled. Dropping their tag team titles, their eyes grow in surprise and all four men engage in a battle. Troy and Alastor gain the advantage and banging the masked men's heads together, they begin to stomp away. The WeWA security hits the room and as all four men are pulled apart, VO#1 screams, "You ain't getting no title shot!" VO#2, "You'll will get yours! Just wait boys, just wait!" The scene fades and Eric Bytchoff continues with the show.)
Bytchoff: Ryan the crowd is deafening as Vital Operations has finally met their first match!
Ryan: Eric, don't forget about the Crazy Ones either and with the addition of a brand new tag team set to debut in August, this division just may be finally picking up.
Bytchoff: Well it's time for....
: KID EVIL!!!!!!!!
Bytchoff: That's right Kid Evil! As he defends his title against The Queen of Hardcore Roxanne! Our ring announcer is ready so here we GO!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this next bout is for the BACW Heavyweight Championship and is set for one fall with a one hour time limit! Already in the ring, hailing from Las Vegas Nevada, welcome "The Queen of Hardcore" Roxanne!
("Roxanne" by the Police fades as Roxy smiles her dazzling smile.)
Ryan: Damn she's hot!
Bytchoff: You are going against Kid Evil?
Ryan: No! No! She's not hot, I'm sorry Kid, she's not!!!!
Bytchoff: Whatever!
Stuffher: And her opponent, he weighed in tonight at 174 pounds and comes from Mckeeports PA! Some call him "The Sugar Daddy"! Some just call him "Smooth"! This is Kid Eeeeeevil!
(The crowd explodes as Kid Evil enters the ring with the BACW belt loosely fitting around his waist. Making the breaking in half motion with his two fists, he removes his title and referee Mario Lane calls for the bell!)
Bytchoff: Roxanne and Evil meet in the center of the ring and HELLO!
(Suddenly Roxanne lifts up her sports bra and the crowd goes nuts. Kid Evil is in shock and following through hard, Roxanne blasts the champion in the balls with a soccer style kick. Evil ball bag swells but standing him up in the corner, Roxanne comes across with some huge chops.)
Crowd: [chop] "Smooth" [chop] "Smooth" [chop] "Smooth"
Bytchoff: Monkey flip by Roxy out of the corner and Kid Evil is in trouble
(Irish whip by Roxanne into a speedy side heel kick and climbing to the ropes, she calls for a moonsault. Arching backwards, Roxanne misses the mark as Kid Evil rolls out of the way. Roxanne is hard and clenching her chest, Kid does a kip up!)
Ryan: KICK HER ASS SMOOTH!!!!
Bytchoff: Would you calm down!
Ryan: I'm taking over from here Eric! Smooth hits a perfect Irish whip into a beautiful tilt-o-whirl back breaker and here comes the champion. Snap leg drop across the throat show Roxanne Kid no walk in the park and good gaaawwwwdddd, Kid Evil just brain busted Roxy into unemployment! 1.. 2.. Dam that hardcore bitch kicked out! Lifting Roxanne off the mat, Kid Evil still in 100% total control sends the challenger into the rope and charging hard, decks Ms. I love Rock-n-Roll with a flying forearm! Snap suplex finds the mark and do it Kid! Climb to the top rope!!!!
Bytchoff: Can I get a word in?
Ryan: NO! Missile drop kick hits Roxy in the face, and listen to the crowd go nuts at this technically sound offensive assault. Finisher her off Kid! JAPW Godsmack [power bomb] and hooking the leg I'm counting this one to three. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!!!! Stick a fork in her because Kid Evil just defended his title in style!
Bytchoff: Take a sip of this water because if you ever try a stunt like that again, I'm going to personally make sure it will be your last! Get it!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout by way of pin fall and STILL BACW Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOORLD! "Smooth" Kid Eeeevil!
Ryan: What happened to the lights?
Bytchoff: Who grabbed my package?
Ryan: What the hell was that, flames?
(As the lights come back on, Kid Evil is knocked out cold with the BACW belt on his chest. Suddenly the lights go out, and when they come back on, the belt is gone, but it is replaced with a severed finger. Panning in close, the number "Snake 10:13" is written in red on Evil's chest. The ovaltron lights up, and we see Spaz Forte in his dressing room with a look of shock on his face.)
Spaz: Is that my finger? IS THAT MY FCKIN FINGER!!!!!!!!"
(The ovaltron goes blank and the announcers continue.)
Bytchoff: Fans, Roxanne has disappeared! The BACW Heavyweight title has vanished! A finger has been found by the medics, and I can't help but think, the WeWA champions are having their belts stolen one by one. We know the person or persons responsible for stealing Snake Eyes belt is/are in the stadium, but could someone else be preying off the same idea?
Ryan: This entire thing freaks me out, and Eric I need to get out of here because Smooth is not only without a belt, but he's really hurt. This is bullshit! I'll be right back. It's like mystery theater around here for Christ's sake and for one just can't take all the ho-cus po-cus.
Bytchoff: Mystery or not, this match is in the book and it's Davis verses Stonewall, lets go to the ring.
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this next bout is scheduled for one fall and will be held under hardcore rules. Already in the ring, they call him Alastor Stonewall!!!
(Stonewall climbs the turnbuckles one by one and raises both fists into the air. Looking down at ringside, Stonewall gives the thumbs up to his girlfriend Allison Lariat, and looking down at a mysterious piece of paper, looks on hard.)
Ryan: I don't Ms. Lariat is too happy, but I could be wrong.
Bytchoff: Well whatever she has in her hands, I think it's totally wrong of her to bring it to such an important match. Stonewall needs this win bad, and if he can take out Karl Davis, I can guarantee he will get a shot at one of the major champions next week. Shame on you Allison!
Stuffher: And his opponent, he is called by some the un-crowned World Heavyweight Champion, and by others, a cold blooded madman. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for "Assassin" Karl Davis!
("Chains of Hell" by Twisted Monarch plays and as Davis walks out with the microphone, wearing his attire and a black bandanna on his head, the music stops.)
Davis: SHUT THE HELL UP AND I'LL DO THIS MYSELF! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... INTRODUCING NEXT... YOUR REIGNING W.. E.. W.. A.. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOORLD... THE MAN SIMPLY KNOWN AS ASSASSIN... KARL.. DAVIS!!!!!! This is non-title match up!
(Slamming the mic onto the apron, Davis enters by stepping over the top rope.)
Ryan: He thinks he's the champ?
Bytchoff: I think he's the champ?
Ryan: Think he's got the world title?
Bytchoff: I think so.
(As both men come to the center of the ring, Davis head butts Alastor right in the face following up with a fist to the jaw! Karl is just nasty, and picking up Stonewall off the mat, tosses him over the top rope by the hair. Stonewall lands right in front of Allison and jumping off the apron, Davis drops a double ax handle across the back of his opponent. Taking hold of the guardrail Davis begins to kick away at the head area. Allison begins to scream and Davis yells, "Shut up bitch!")
Ryan: Karl is in control and that's just not right talking to Allison that way.
Bytchoff: I agree and if Davis isn't careful, he could find himself on the end of a.. BRASS Knucks to the face by Stonewall and I didn't think he knew how to fight this hardcore style?
Ryan: Stonewall is adapting well to the WeWA and although he's not a hardcore brawler, he seems to know how to use a pair of brass knuckles!
(Over and over and over again, Alastor pounds away until Davis broken down to one knee. Knee to the face makes this match even and Stonewall tosses Davis back into the ring along with a steel chair. Alastor winks at girl friend and holding a piece of paper up, she replies, "We need to talk")
Bytchoff: Allison Lariat is killing this match for Stonewall and as he rolls into the ring, Davis is there to greet him with a DDT onto the chair. The cover and count. 1.. 2.. 3!
Ryan: Stonewall kicked out!
Bytchoff: Davis is getting aggressive and concentrating on the throat area, lands some tremendous chops! Stonewall falls to the ground in pain and driving his boot into the side of his opponents neck, Davis smiles.
Ryan: This man needs help!
(Neck breaker followed by a double arm suplex and Alastor looks finished. The referee slaps the mat hard. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!!! Calling for the match to continue, the referee screams two and a half and the match continues. Irish whip by Davis into the turnbuckle but Stonewall reverses the hold executing a whip of his own!! Davis hits the corner hard and stumbling out, is caught by an Alastor Stonewall Spine Buster! German Suplex on the huge man brings the crowd to their feet and pile driving Davis onto the steel chair, Stonewall makes an easy cover. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!)
Bytchoff: No kick out and this one is far from over!
(Straddling his opponent, Alastor dawns the brass knucks and begins to pound away as the crowd counts.)
Crowd: 123456789.... TEN!
Ryan: Stonewall is all over the self proclaimed World Champion and this one is getting heated!!!!
(Karl attempts to stand but each time he does, Alastor kicks at the knee, keeping his distance in a safe game of hit and run. Foot sweep sends the big man down and crowd cheers the maneuver. Suddenly down the isle comes Sam Natas and dragging behind him, ten pounds of Sledge. Smiling as he approaches ringside, he grabs Allison by the hair and jamming his tongue into her mouth, forces a kiss. Stonewall hears the screams and turning to help his girlfriend, is struck down by "ASSASSINATION "[Turning Choke slam])
Ryan: Davis hit his finisher and Alastor is out cold!!!
Bytchoff: Did you see his head bounce off that steel chair? The referee's count is academic. 1.. 2.. 3..!!!
(Before the referee can hit the mat for a third time, Sam Natas lowers the sledge across Davis's back. Troy Flash comes running down the isle and as Natas goes to hit Stonewall, Troy connects with a low double drop kick to the knee. Body slam on the steel chair and suddenly Troy starts to wave into the crowd. Like a lighten bolt, a person in a motorcycle helmet climbs the ropes and fly half way across the ring with a high flying Tennessee jam! 1.. 2.. 3!!!!)
Ryan: What was that?
Bytchoff: The referee is calling for bell and I think we have a winner!!!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout by way of pin fall, Alastor Stonewall!!!!
Ryan: Huh?
Bytchoff: Huh yourself Ryan. Take a look at the replay! When all the hoop la breaks out, it's Stonewall placing his hand on Davis's chest with the referee right in position. Well the man with the motorcycle helmet is gone, and as Troy helps Alastor to his feet, it looks like Allison screaming something.
Allison: Screw that Troy! He cheated on me and this letter proves it!
(Reaching back, Allison slaps the dazed Alastor in the face and turns walking away. Troy tries to stop Stonewall, when from behind, Karl Davis drills both men over the had with a steel chair. Wrapping his hands around the neck of Alastor Stonewall, Karl begins to squeeze until Stonewall passes out!)
Ryan: That move is illegal!!!!! It must be banned!
Bytchoff: Security has hits ringside and my god, I have to agree. The WeWA needs to review that choke hold because as of today, no one has been able to survive it! Fans, even Snake Eyes our world heavyweight was choked out two weeks ago by this move.
Ryan: I'm petitioning this move be banned and if any wrestler share my same feelings, I think they should begin to speak up!
Bytchoff: Well the area is clear but I hear there's a scuffle in the back. [hand to ear] It's our IC Hardcore Championship match and Johnson has attacked! Johnson verses Dark Demon, here we GO!
(As Mike Johnson is announced by the ring announcer, the ovaltron lights up and we catch Mike Johnson in the process of doing a side Russian leg sweep with his trusty rusty shovel pressed tightly against Dark Demon's neck. Demon's head smacks against the concrete and as the fans "ohhhhh" Mike Johnson rips him off his feet tossing him through the curtain. The camera pulls in tight and it's apparent from the green stains on Dark Demon's face, Mike Johnson has already used his green mist to initially gain the advantage. Shovel shot to the back causes Dark Demon to arch in pain, and grabbing the challengers head, Johnson head butt his opponents temple.)
Bytchoff: Johnson is just beating the crap out of Dark Demon and if you ask me, this was a terrible mismatch!
Ryan: Johnson has been in the WeWA for over a year with Dark Demon still new to this promotion, I just can't see what other result the bookers were looking for.
(Taking Demon by the arm, Johnson sends him into the steel stairs with big loud BOOM! Vertical suplex on the floor, and instead of covering the challenger, Mike Johnson tosses Dark Demon into the ring.)
Ryan: Hold on folks because to make matters worse, here comes Tina Sweet with carrying an ironing board.
Bytchoff: What the heck is that for?
(Opening up the ironing board, and shouting some words of encouragement, Tina pulls out a mound of barb wire tossing it into the ring. Johnson turns, and spying the entanglement, executes an Irish whip into the far corner opposite the barb. Boom! Mike follows with a spinning back fist and locking on with a side head lock, plants Dark Demon face first into the barb with a bulldog from hell! Demon is busted open bad, and crowd cheers the brutality! Upside down and tied to the tree of woe is Dark Demon and Tina tosses in a chair!)
Ryan: He's not going to?
Bytchoff: Good lord he just did!!
(WHACK! Striking Demon in the chest with the chair, Johnson watches as Dark Demon fall from the tree like an apple on Newton's head. Placing the chair on Dark Demon's face, Johnson misses with a leg drop as the bloody Dark Demon rolls out of the way.)
Bytchoff: Demon is hurt but is somehow getting up from this tremendous beating. Limping to his feet, Dark Demon reaches into his tights pulling out a popsicle stick and begins to jab it into Johnson's forehead. Boot the now bloody face of Mike followed by repeated head butts and this one is turning into a hardcore blood bath! Johnson rolls from the ring and Demon follows looking to take out the champion. Demon Spins Johnson around, but Mike drives a boot into the midsection quickly hitting Enigma [DDT]. Lying Demon on the ironing board, Johnson climbs to the apron and then to the top rope. AIR JOHNSON!!!!!!!! CRRRRACK!)
Bytchoff: The fat lady is singing!
Ryan: Head-On-Collision onto the ironing board [pedigree]. 1.. 2.. 3!!!
Bytchoff: Thank goodness it's over because Dark Demon is a bloody mess.
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout and still WeWA Intercontinental Hardcore Champion. "The Man" Mike Johnson!
Bytchoff: Well fans, once again Mike Johnson has emerged from this ring victorious, and if you ask me, he's making a very strong bid for the World title. Snake Eyes is a wanted man, and with the competition in the WeWA picking up day after day, it just doesn't allow for a bad day. Dark Demon has been carried out on a stretcher, and fans it's time for....STATIC.....
Stuffher: Television fans our next bout is scheduled for one fall and is for the WeWA Television championship of the world! This bout will be held under TV title rules which means a thirty minute time limit! Introducing first, the challenger, he hails from Miami by way of Brazil and is currently looking to shake a two loss losing streak! Entering the arena, weighing 195 pounds, this is "The Ambassador" Spaz Forte!
(The curtain parts and Spaz is decked out in his traditional silk bathrobe, and tamborine. No steel drums this week, and it appears his right hand is severely taped up from the mysterious accident when his middle finger broke off. The Tour of Noise performs their new hit single "Da Noize", and entering the ring, Forte bobs his head to the beat. The crowd cheers, but something tells the viewers at home they are saving it up for the champion.)
Ryan: What the hell! I thought Forte lost his thumb?
Bytchoff: Please don't try and make sense of it, PLEASE!!!
Stuffher: And his opponent... Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you, the man who needs no introduction, but gets one anyway. Leading the way for the Era of Eradication... The Originator of Pain! The Tru Champ! The Most Charismatic showman in this busniess. And believe it or not Ripley, he's YOUR WeWA World Television Champion, "The Sultan of Smack" Stevey Sinisterrrrrrrr!
(The crowd goes ballistic as BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Blue sparkling pyros shoot up into the rafters and Greenday's "Having a blast" pumps up the WeWA faithful! Stevey Sinister is loved throughout the world and in Denver, it no different! Stevey struts down the aisle, the belt reflecting the light from thousands of cameras, and jumping into the ring over the top rope, the champion poses on the turnbuckle. Spaz takes an imaginary picture with his hands and as both men come to the middle of the ring, the announcers prep the match.)
Bytchoff: Both men look tremendous this week and with all the training these two are doing, some may argue that we are going to witness the best match of the night.
Ryan: Stevey must agree because he just charged Forte! The referee calls for the bell....
Bytchoff: No look DDT by Spaz Forte and a cover is made. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!
Ryan: Did he beat Darrel Besolve's award for being pinned the fastest?
(The referee shakes his head no and the match continues because Sinister although stunned, kicked out. Picking the champion off the mat, Forte quickly hits his patented one inch punch and Stevey's lips begins to bleed. Irish whip by Spaz into the opposite ropes and connecting with a mid-section running knee lift, Sinister does a 360 and Spaz makes a cover. 1.. 2.. 3!!!)
Ryan: Forte wins the title! Forte wins!!!
Bytchoff: Only in horse shoes and hang grenades! It's two and the match continues!
(A voice comes over the speaker and yells, 25 Miuntes left! Forte looks to hurt the champ and forcing Stevey to straddle the ring post under the bottom rope, Spaz pulls back hard and Stevey's nuts go CRUNCH! Upsidedown figure four around the steel ring post and Spaz pulls back hard on the toe! Stevey is screaming "ILLEGAL" and as the referee breaks up the hold, the crowd begins to boo Forte. Spaz holds up his stub in protest, and the crowd curses back. Forte gets nasty hitting Culture Shock on the floor and as the referee yells at him, Spaz tosses the very weak TV champion into the ring.)
Ryan: The referee stops Forte from rolling into the ring and good gaaawwwdd, Spaz just pushed the ref into the guardrail, rolling into the ring.
Bytchoff: Stevey is up and because of the delay rested! Sinister drops a double Stevey handle on the neck of Forte and the crowd goes wild!
(Diving neck breaker by the champ and Stevey points to the top rope. The crowd lets off a huge POP as Stevey leaps inward. Four F'N Fifty Stevey splash!)
Ryan: Damn that move was beautiful! The crowd is going nuts and Sinsiter is signaling for a Stevey driver! Jamming Forte's head between his muscluar thighs, Stevey lifts, spins, and nails, a cork screw Stevey Driver!
Bytchoff: Forte's legs shake and there's only 15 minutes left. The cover and count, 1.. 2.. 3!
(Spaz kicks out and lifting Forte off the canvas, Stevey hits a SteveyKnife Power bomb! Spaz's head bounces off the mat and the cover is made again. 1.. 2.. 3! The referee begins to call for the bell!)
Ryan: It's over!!
Bytchoff: Wait, NO!
(The referee sees Spaz had his foot on the rope and calls for the match to continue. The champion once again goes to the top ropes, and as Spaz lays in the center of the ring dazed, Sinister reaches deep but misses with a Steveysault! Spaz does a kip up and hitting a neckbreaker of his own, forces the champion into the ropes with an aggressive Irish whip. Stevey reverses the hold and as Forte comes off hard, Spaz hits a textbook sunset flip!)
Ryan: Sinister is stuck in this classic move and as the referee slaps the mat, the fans turn in fear of what is to come. 1.. 2..
Bytchoff: THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
Ryan: You just didn't
Bytchoff: I promise it will never happen again! Sinister with a heel to the head of Spaz breaks the hold and with 4 minutes left in this contest, the match continues.
(Forte immediately hops up to the top rope and as Sinister turns a blind eye, Forte drills him with a missle drop kick to the chest. Sinister flies backwards and after a muscle spasm [abdominal stretch/atomic drop], the referee counts the champs shoulders to the mat. 1.. 2.. 3!!! The referee yells two and the match continues as the crowd begins to become restless. Forte is furious and as the time limit runs down, Spaz removes the gauze from his hand revealing a prosthetic thumb. Jamming an International Spike into the neck of Sinister the referee begins to call for bell just as Stevey says, "I give!".)
Ryan: Sinister gave up!
Bytchoff: No, he saw the referee call for bell and just wanted that illegal hold broken! Spaz still has the illegal hold applied and my god, what's wrong with Spaz! Down goes the referee from a Forte clothes lines and the International Spike is applied again. Stevey is screaming in pain and my god, Forte just tossed four security guards from the ring. The Spike is applied again and here comes....
Ryan: It's Kid Evil! Get that International Asshole Smooth!
(Jumping into the ring, a trickle of blood rolls down the corner of Stevey's mouth and smiling a dazed smile, Forte runs is fake thumb across his neck pointing at Kid Evil. The Tour of Noise runs up the aisle as Spaz screams, "What are you all looking at!")
Bytchoff: Fans, Stevey Sinister has retained the title due to a DQ and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but our world TV champion will be most likely out of competition for a week or so. Stevey is complaining about knee pain, and good lord, look at the bruise from that damn fake thumb. I think it was steel! Well the WeWA better look into this matter because if Forte is allowed to continue to use this iron international spike, I don't many wrestlers getting up from it. Stevey has just been carried from the ring with Kid Evil at his side and it's time for out main event. Let go to the ring.
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen this is our Main Event of the evening and it's set for one fall with a one hour time limit! It's is a non-title bout and is scheduled under strap match rules! Entering the arnea, is a rookie to this promotion and in some people's opening, the future of the WeWA. Put your hands together as he makes his first Main Event appearance in only his second week of competition, welcome "The Human Enigma" Troy Flash!
(The lights dim to semi-dark, and a medicore buzz is heard from the fans. The from the silence, blast, "N 2 Gether Now" by Limp Bizkit. About half and half of the fans boo, while the other half cheer.)
Ryan: Troy Flash has been in the neutral zone this week, and is it me or is he quivering?
Bytchoff: Well the young man is doing a tremendous job fighting it, and entering the ring, he places the strap on his arm and awaits the world champion.
Stuffher: And finally he hails from Balitmore Maryland, and is called by many, the best in the business. Tonight he enters into this ring the longest reigning heavyweight champion this promotion has ever had. Raise the roof for the man you all love to hate. He is the man of 1001 nicknames, the extreme millenium man, he is the undisputed, WeWA Heavyweight Champion of the World, and the man who retired Darrel Besolve signal handily! This is "The History Maker" Snake Eyes!!
(The arena goes black and as red & blue lasers begin to pulse and spin, smoke fills the entrance was "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith begins to blast out over the speakers. Snake greatest moments are played in sequential order as time after time, the Snake Byte is hit. And time after time, the referee put his hand down for the third time. Snake is shown raising countless belts. Finally, the ovaltron goes to a closeup of the WeWA World Championship belt. As a strobe light illuminates the curtain, the belt explodes outwards as foreworks erupt from all over. Snake Eyes steps out from the back at the exact moment this all begins. Adjusting the strap that hangs over his right shoulder. The crowd is popping harder than ever, and strutting down the isle with a very determined look, he tosses the belt to the timekeepper entering the ring. Snake smiles an untrusting smile, and placing the strap on his hand, nods his head.)
Bytchoff: Mario Lane is the one in charge of this bout and as he calls for the bell, we are on our way. Here we GO!
(Both men circle and as Troy attempts a tie up, Snake side steps hitting a surprise side neck breaker. Picking Troy up by the hair, Snake continues to work on the neck area with a swinging neck breaker. Troy cups his hands around his neck and while he covers up, Snake Eyes begins to whip him with strap. SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! The welts raise on Flash's back, and picking up the challenger once again, Snake executes a perfect short arm clothes line.)
Ryan: ANACONDA!!!!!!!! [crippler cross face]
Bytchoff: Troy is in pain and the referee is asking him if he's willing to give up! Flash refuses and Snake pulls harder screaming for the ref to ask him again. Once again Flash says no and Snake looking to not burn his arms out, releases the hold! Sitting on the top turn buckle motioning for Troy to get up, Flash turns into a flying clothes line but ducks at the last moment.
Ryan: What reflexes and Troy hits Snake with a DVD! Flash makes the cover and the count is fast 1.. 2.. kick out by Snake!
Bytchoff: Pile driver by Troy Flash and the referee counts again. 1.. 2.. Kick out by the champion!
Ryan: Yakuza kick and we have yet another cover. 1.. 2.. 3! No kick out by Snake and the match continues.
Bytchoff: Inverted DDT followed by a implant DDT and I think the champion unconscious. 1.. 2.. No! Kick out by Snake and my god can anothing hurt this hardcore legend?
(Flash take hold of Snake's long shoulder length black hair and whipping the champion into the ropes, Troy hits a side walk slam and the pro Snake Eyes crowd boos. Troy hooks the leg again and the referee slaps the mat, 1.. 2.. No kick out again by Snake!)
Bytchoff: Ryan I think Snake is toying with youngster because there have been about 5 near falls!
Ryan: Troy Flash power bomb and I'm wondering if this is Snake version of the rope-a-dope? Cover and the count. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!!
Bytchoff: Holy shit!
(The crowd is stunned and when the referee yells two they explode with cheers. Body press slam out of the ring and Snake Eyes is not looking like the world champion tonight.)
Bytchoff: Fans, Snake Eyes has a ton on his mind and personally he may not be too focused on this match. With Roxanne on the injury list, his belt stolen, and everyone on the roster looking to knock him off, I think Troy may be the one to end Snake! Troy Flash moonsault misses outside the ring and my god, here comes the champion with all pistons firing! Punches in bunches cause the crowd to count aloud and with an Irish whip into the stairs, they cheer the ICON. Peeling the protective mat off the infield, Snake Eyes pile drives Troy head first onto the pitching rubber. Snake tosses Troy back into the ring and with a violent grunt, the world champion connects with a slow but powerful suplex. Double under hook seems to have Troy hurt and capping off the assault, a brain buster bring the Denver crowd to their feet. Suddenly, the curtain parts a small amount, and the mysterious hand dangles the stolen World Heavyweight championship.)
Ryan: It's the belt! And look at Snake Eyes!!! He sees it and he just bailed from the ring.
Bytchoff: The referee is starting to count and the mystery person just took off. I only saw a hand! The referee is up to six and I think Snake just realized, he's going to lose this match!
Ryan: Seven and I don't think he's going to do it.
Bytchoff: Eight!
Ryan: Nine!
Crowd: TEN!!!!!!
(Snake dives head first under the bottom rope and faking a punch, nails Troy Flash with a surprise Snake Byte [DDT]. The referee slaps the mat and the crowd explodes. 1.. 2.. 3!)
Ryan: What a minute, the referee didn't count ten?
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout, the WeWA Heavyweight Champion of the WOOORLD! The History Maker, Snake Eyes!
Bytchoff: The people counted ten not the referee and Snake Eyes gets the one two three! Fans as Snake makes his way to the back shaking hands, I'm told we are out of time, I'm your Eric Bytchoff and on behalf of Radically Rancid Ryan Ross, and the WeWA I bid you farewell and GOODNIGHT! See you next Thursday!