Those who tell me Shut The Hell Up usually end up lying face down...
[The camera is outside an Elementary School. It pans around to see children playing in the grass. They are playing hopscotch and jumping rope. The camera shifts over to the office enterance, where Alastor Stonewall is standing. He opens the door and goes to the office and talks to the secretary.] Stonewall: Excuse me, are you taking sign ups for this school? Secretary: Why yes. Who would you like to enroll in our school? Stonewall: Well, you see, its a special kind of case. This guy is kinda, well, different. Secretary: How so? Stonewall: Well, he's over the age of twenty... Secretary: Is this a joke? If so, I recommend you leave now before I call the police! Stonewall: This is no joke. You want proof, then here it is. [Stonewall plays a tape recording of The Crippler's latest interview. He shuts it off afterwards. The Secretary looks stunned. Stonewall: See what I mean? Secretary: Yes, I do. Hold on a second, I think the principal needs to hear this. [The Secretary leaves for a moment. She then returns with the Elementary School Principal.] Secretary: This is the man who is recommending we put a 20+ year old in this school. Principal: What is the meaning of this?! Do not insult my intelligence sir, or I will have the police escort you off the premesis! Stonewall: Just like I told her, its no joke. Here, listen to this. [Stonewall plays the interview again, and then turns it off. The Principal looks flabbergasted.] Principal: Why, I know that voice! It has to be the kid I expelled a long time ago! I would never forget that voice! Stonewall: Well, this person calls himself The Crippler now-a-days. Have you heard of him? He's an EWA professional wrestler. Principal: No, I don't watch pro wrestling. Too fake for my tastes. However, I'm sorry. I can't admit this man back in this school. He's been expelled, although I can see why you think he needs some more education. Stonewall: Too bad. I'm just trying to open the eye's of this pathetic man, he thinks he's the best, when he is just another 'ordinary' person. Thanks for your time. [Stonewall walks outside and turns and faces the camera. Off to the right, the kids behind the playground fence all stare at Stonewall. It's not everyday they see a 6' 9" person with dyed green hair and a dyed green beard.] Stonewall: Sorry Crippler, your out of luck. I couldn't sign up for more school, so I guess I'll have to teach you myself. Except, its a different kind of lesson. It's called "Failure 101" with Professor Stonewall. Stonewall: It's a rigorous course, but you have no choice but to take it. You prepare each day, attempting to outsmart your teacher, thinking you'll have the advantage. But, in the end, your doomed to failure. Hence the name, "Failure 101". But, this will only make you a stronger person. [Stonewall all of a sudden stops, and thinks to himself. He then resumes speaking.] Stonewall: Sorry, I forgot your a lost cause. Not even "Failure 101" can save your sorry ass now. Your just gonna get your hide whipped to every corner of the ring and get pinned and lose your title. It's no big deal though Crippler. It's called life. It sucks, and you should learn to deal with it. At least I learned to play it to the fullest, something you only could dream of doing. Now, its about time I gain the IC belt and put you in your proper place, the unemployment office. Stonewall: Before I go, a little extra information. It seems your too ignorant to realize just what the Empire State Building is, so I'll give you a hint. It's over 100 stories tall, and the guest balcony is on the 86th floor. I ran down all 86 floors, despite what you think. I'm more than prepared for you, and quite frankly, it isn't going to be a matchup. It's gonna be a massacre, YOUR massacre! [With that, Stonewall walks over to his rented car, leaving the camera man standing all alone.] [The camera fades to black.] Link: Alastor Stonewall's Dungeon
[The camera is outside an Elementary School. It pans around to see children playing in the grass. They are playing hopscotch and jumping rope. The camera shifts over to the office enterance, where Alastor Stonewall is standing. He opens the door and goes to the office and talks to the secretary.]
Stonewall: Excuse me, are you taking sign ups for this school?
Secretary: Why yes. Who would you like to enroll in our school?
Stonewall: Well, you see, its a special kind of case. This guy is kinda, well, different.
Secretary: How so?
Stonewall: Well, he's over the age of twenty...
Secretary: Is this a joke? If so, I recommend you leave now before I call the police!
Stonewall: This is no joke. You want proof, then here it is.
[Stonewall plays a tape recording of The Crippler's latest interview. He shuts it off afterwards. The Secretary looks stunned.
Stonewall: See what I mean?
Secretary: Yes, I do. Hold on a second, I think the principal needs to hear this.
[The Secretary leaves for a moment. She then returns with the Elementary School Principal.]
Secretary: This is the man who is recommending we put a 20+ year old in this school.
Principal: What is the meaning of this?! Do not insult my intelligence sir, or I will have the police escort you off the premesis!
Stonewall: Just like I told her, its no joke. Here, listen to this.
[Stonewall plays the interview again, and then turns it off. The Principal looks flabbergasted.]
Principal: Why, I know that voice! It has to be the kid I expelled a long time ago! I would never forget that voice!
Stonewall: Well, this person calls himself The Crippler now-a-days. Have you heard of him? He's an EWA professional wrestler.
Principal: No, I don't watch pro wrestling. Too fake for my tastes. However, I'm sorry. I can't admit this man back in this school. He's been expelled, although I can see why you think he needs some more education.
Stonewall: Too bad. I'm just trying to open the eye's of this pathetic man, he thinks he's the best, when he is just another 'ordinary' person. Thanks for your time.
[Stonewall walks outside and turns and faces the camera. Off to the right, the kids behind the playground fence all stare at Stonewall. It's not everyday they see a 6' 9" person with dyed green hair and a dyed green beard.]
Stonewall: Sorry Crippler, your out of luck. I couldn't sign up for more school, so I guess I'll have to teach you myself. Except, its a different kind of lesson. It's called "Failure 101" with Professor Stonewall.
Stonewall: It's a rigorous course, but you have no choice but to take it. You prepare each day, attempting to outsmart your teacher, thinking you'll have the advantage. But, in the end, your doomed to failure. Hence the name, "Failure 101". But, this will only make you a stronger person.
[Stonewall all of a sudden stops, and thinks to himself. He then resumes speaking.]
Stonewall: Sorry, I forgot your a lost cause. Not even "Failure 101" can save your sorry ass now. Your just gonna get your hide whipped to every corner of the ring and get pinned and lose your title. It's no big deal though Crippler. It's called life. It sucks, and you should learn to deal with it. At least I learned to play it to the fullest, something you only could dream of doing. Now, its about time I gain the IC belt and put you in your proper place, the unemployment office.
Stonewall: Before I go, a little extra information. It seems your too ignorant to realize just what the Empire State Building is, so I'll give you a hint. It's over 100 stories tall, and the guest balcony is on the 86th floor. I ran down all 86 floors, despite what you think. I'm more than prepared for you, and quite frankly, it isn't going to be a matchup. It's gonna be a massacre, YOUR massacre!
[With that, Stonewall walks over to his rented car, leaving the camera man standing all alone.]
[The camera fades to black.]
Link: Alastor Stonewall's Dungeon