Meeting an old "friend"
--- Inside Stonewall's rented car --- [Stonewall is driving home from working out at a local gym. As he is driving to his hotel, he notices someone very familiar walking on the sidewalk to his right. He pulls up closer.] Stonewall: No way, that can't be... [Stonewall parks his car quickly and gets out he approaches the man.] Stonewall: Hey you! What's your name? Man: No way... it can't be! [The man takes off running. Stonewall pursues him and easily catches up to him and grabs him by the shoulders.] Stonewall: Heh. I knew I recognized you! Your Jake, the guy who worked as an interviewer at a couple of my previous federations. Jake: So, what's it to ya? These past 4 months have been the best days of my life, ever since I got away from the wrestling business, and... you! [Stonewall laughs at this comment.] Stonewall: What, you didn't like me bashing your brains in day in, day out? Come on, we have to catch up on old times! Jake: F--- off, I have no business with you anymore! [Stonewall, obviously amused by Jake's current attitude, continues to pressure him.] Stonewall: Oh, but don't you want to interview me? C'mon, for old times sake! Jake: I already told you, f--- off!! [By this point, Alastor stops joking around. He walks in front of Jake and picks him up by the scruff of his neck.] Stonewall: Listen, your going to interview me! I'll tell you what to ask me, just play along and you won't get hurt! Then again, if you'd like to meet the concrete face first, I don't mind... Jake: *sigh* Alright, I'll give you a damn interview. But how are you going to do it? You don't even have a camera around. Stonewall: Oh, don't tell me you've already forgotten I have an answer to everything! [Stonewall grins slyly as he pulls Jake over near his parked car. He opens the door and pulls out the same camcorder he never returned from two weeks ago.] Jake: I can't believe I'm doing this... [Stonewall sets the camcorder on the hood of his car as he tells Jake what has happened in the WeWA the past three weeks. Afterward, Stonewall grabs Jake, sets him in his position and Stonewall stands next to him.] Jake: I don't even have a damn microphone... Stonewall: Quit your whining. Now begin the interview! [The minute record delay is over and the camcorder begins filming.] Jake: Hey. Welcome to an on-the-spot interview for the WeWA. I'm Jake, doing an one time deal here with *ugh* Alastor Stonewall. Stonewall: Yeah yeah... cut the crap and ask me your questions, I don't have all day here! Or do you already forget what happened the last time you interviewed me? [Jake rubs his neck, remembered the neck injury he sustained from a Stonewall AVALANCHE (inverted death valley driver).] Jake: Yeah, I remember. (mumbles) You damn faggot... Stonewall: What was that Jake? Jake: Nothing. Now, I heard you have a match at the WeWA PPV against Roxanne and Sam Natas. Although I'm sure you've already said numerous things, do you wish to say anything more? Stonewall: Yeah, I would. First, Roxanne. First of all, you are the first "woman" I am facing in an actual wrestling matchup. But, don't think I'm going to go easy on you because of that fact. Hell no. Instead, I'm gonna teach you to stay the hell out of where you don't belong! I will be doing you a favor at the Pay Per View. I will be giving you a lesson in what wrestling is all about. Don't give this "I am the god of the federation" bulls---. I'm bigger than you, better than you, and can withstand a hell of a lot more punishment than you. And don't get me wrong, I can dish it out just as well as I take it. Add that to the fact that your still licking your wounds from last Thursday, and that means you won't be much of a threat. I plan on knocking you off as quickly as possible, and leaving you there humiliated. Then maybe after you've been thoroughly beaten, you will reconsider your current job position and find a more suiting job. Jake: How about this Sam Natas guy? Stonewall: Yeah yeah, I was gonna just get to him. Now, I really want to know where this guy got the idea that he was evil incarnate? Doesn't he understand that no one buys his satanic bulls---? I've said it before and I'll say it again, he is just some Joe Smoe from New York. Nothing any more special than that. But, let's forget that for a minute, and pretend he is really all he thinks he is. Natas, bring your little toy hammer to the ring, it really makes no difference. I hope you do, because I plan to knock some sense into you with it. Then you'll realize just how dumb that prop is. A baseball to the nose? Please. That bat was made of rubber, and the guy swung that bat like some retard with a gay lisp. And the blood? Do you think I don't watch movies anymore? It looked pretty fake, especially since the blood spurted from a clear packet on the side of the bat, instead of from you actual nose. And then, you paid them all off to pretend to be injured for a few days. But no more! I will shut you up and expose you for the phony your boring ass is! I've had it with your long words that made less sense than a Tito interview! I've had it with your skits that put me to sleep and cause me to stifle a laugh out of pity at your cheap special effects. It ends at the Pay Per View Natas, and I will be leading the way into a new era, my era of domination! Be afraid, be very afraid, because it is only the beginning. Jake: Alright, do you wish to comment on any other WeWA wrestlers at this time? Stonewall: Actually, I do. How about this Dark Demon guy? Seriously, why did he come out and flip off basically everyone in the federation? Does he have a death wish or something? Oh I forgot, we are all WEAK, oh so WEAK. Bah! The only weak thing is his verbal skills. Does he seriously expect anyone to take him seriously when he says f--- a hundred times in one interview? Does he seriously expect anyone to take him seriously with his Dark Dayz mumbo jumbo? And most of all, what the hell is he talking about when he said he would win the World Title for him? Buddy, you have a few screws loose, there is no him, moreso, you won't win the World Title, at least not in this federation. Sorry, but you need a little something called talent to make it far here, my former "business partner" (who currently resides in this federation) could tell you all about it, and I'm sure you'll hear from him soon enough. Oh yeah, this is for you Dark Demon, just the two words you'll possibly understand, f--- you! Jake: Anybody else? Stonewall: Nah, that's all I had to say to the bottom of the barrel right now... Jake: But Stonewall, aren't you also at the bottom of the barrel? [Right after this wisecrack, Stonewall glares at Jake.] Stonewall: (Sharply) Watch your tongue!! [Jake takes a step back, startled a little by the sharp retort.] Jake: Settle down, can't you take a joke? How about this big surprise you say you are planning for the Pay Per View? Stonewall: Oh, that. I've said almost all I had to in my last promo, but here it is again for those who missed it. It will change things drastically in the WeWA. And guess what, its gonna spread like a bad disease, because once it starts, it cannot be stopped! And I'm not the only one involved, so prepare WeWA! Jake: (Mumbles) It'll probably be a flop... Stonewall: Watch it Jake! You've streched my patience to its limit! Jake: Whatever. Any final words before we go? Stonewall: Thursday marks a new beginning for me and the WeWA. I will vanquish those who challenge me, and steadily work towards being one of the greats! And guess what, Roxanne and Sam Natas are a stepping stone, the next rung in my ladder of success! They can't stop me, no one can. I've already firmly planted my left foot on the next rung, and at the Pay Per View, I put my right foot on, swiftly. Prepare yourselfs, because both of your times will be drawing incredibly near... Jake: Well, that's it. Interviews over. Now, I'm leaving, I can't stand to be another second with you! Stonewall: Come here... [Stonewall grasps Jake by the back of his neck. He then lifts him up in an inverted firemans carry.] Stonewall: You know I can't end a Jake/Stonewall interview without doing this! Jake: You f---ing asshole! You tricked me! You said you weren't going to hurt me your prick! Stonewall: Touchy touchy. I only said I wouldn't "hurt" you, I never said I wouldn't critically injure you! [With that, Stonewall finishes up his AVALANCHE, leaving Jake lying face first on the concrete. Stonewall laughs at the specticle, grabs the camcorder and gets in his car. Stonewall calls out the window] Stonewall: Can't wait till we meet again next time Jake! Hahaha! [Stonewall drives off to send out the interview tape as Jake just lies there unconscious. Eventually, a passerby calls an ambulance and he is picked up and taken to the hospital.]
[Stonewall is driving home from working out at a local gym. As he is driving to his hotel, he notices someone very familiar walking on the sidewalk to his right. He pulls up closer.]
Stonewall: No way, that can't be...
[Stonewall parks his car quickly and gets out he approaches the man.]
Stonewall: Hey you! What's your name?
Man: No way... it can't be!
[The man takes off running. Stonewall pursues him and easily catches up to him and grabs him by the shoulders.]
Stonewall: Heh. I knew I recognized you! Your Jake, the guy who worked as an interviewer at a couple of my previous federations.
Jake: So, what's it to ya? These past 4 months have been the best days of my life, ever since I got away from the wrestling business, and... you!
[Stonewall laughs at this comment.]
Stonewall: What, you didn't like me bashing your brains in day in, day out? Come on, we have to catch up on old times!
Jake: F--- off, I have no business with you anymore!
[Stonewall, obviously amused by Jake's current attitude, continues to pressure him.]
Stonewall: Oh, but don't you want to interview me? C'mon, for old times sake!
Jake: I already told you, f--- off!!
[By this point, Alastor stops joking around. He walks in front of Jake and picks him up by the scruff of his neck.]
Stonewall: Listen, your going to interview me! I'll tell you what to ask me, just play along and you won't get hurt! Then again, if you'd like to meet the concrete face first, I don't mind...
Jake: *sigh* Alright, I'll give you a damn interview. But how are you going to do it? You don't even have a camera around.
Stonewall: Oh, don't tell me you've already forgotten I have an answer to everything!
[Stonewall grins slyly as he pulls Jake over near his parked car. He opens the door and pulls out the same camcorder he never returned from two weeks ago.]
Jake: I can't believe I'm doing this...
[Stonewall sets the camcorder on the hood of his car as he tells Jake what has happened in the WeWA the past three weeks. Afterward, Stonewall grabs Jake, sets him in his position and Stonewall stands next to him.]
Jake: I don't even have a damn microphone...
Stonewall: Quit your whining. Now begin the interview!
[The minute record delay is over and the camcorder begins filming.]
Jake: Hey. Welcome to an on-the-spot interview for the WeWA. I'm Jake, doing an one time deal here with *ugh* Alastor Stonewall.
Stonewall: Yeah yeah... cut the crap and ask me your questions, I don't have all day here! Or do you already forget what happened the last time you interviewed me?
[Jake rubs his neck, remembered the neck injury he sustained from a Stonewall AVALANCHE (inverted death valley driver).]
Jake: Yeah, I remember. (mumbles) You damn faggot...
Stonewall: What was that Jake?
Jake: Nothing. Now, I heard you have a match at the WeWA PPV against Roxanne and Sam Natas. Although I'm sure you've already said numerous things, do you wish to say anything more?
Stonewall: Yeah, I would. First, Roxanne. First of all, you are the first "woman" I am facing in an actual wrestling matchup. But, don't think I'm going to go easy on you because of that fact. Hell no. Instead, I'm gonna teach you to stay the hell out of where you don't belong! I will be doing you a favor at the Pay Per View. I will be giving you a lesson in what wrestling is all about. Don't give this "I am the god of the federation" bulls---. I'm bigger than you, better than you, and can withstand a hell of a lot more punishment than you. And don't get me wrong, I can dish it out just as well as I take it. Add that to the fact that your still licking your wounds from last Thursday, and that means you won't be much of a threat. I plan on knocking you off as quickly as possible, and leaving you there humiliated. Then maybe after you've been thoroughly beaten, you will reconsider your current job position and find a more suiting job.
Jake: How about this Sam Natas guy?
Stonewall: Yeah yeah, I was gonna just get to him. Now, I really want to know where this guy got the idea that he was evil incarnate? Doesn't he understand that no one buys his satanic bulls---? I've said it before and I'll say it again, he is just some Joe Smoe from New York. Nothing any more special than that. But, let's forget that for a minute, and pretend he is really all he thinks he is. Natas, bring your little toy hammer to the ring, it really makes no difference. I hope you do, because I plan to knock some sense into you with it. Then you'll realize just how dumb that prop is. A baseball to the nose? Please. That bat was made of rubber, and the guy swung that bat like some retard with a gay lisp. And the blood? Do you think I don't watch movies anymore? It looked pretty fake, especially since the blood spurted from a clear packet on the side of the bat, instead of from you actual nose. And then, you paid them all off to pretend to be injured for a few days. But no more! I will shut you up and expose you for the phony your boring ass is! I've had it with your long words that made less sense than a Tito interview! I've had it with your skits that put me to sleep and cause me to stifle a laugh out of pity at your cheap special effects. It ends at the Pay Per View Natas, and I will be leading the way into a new era, my era of domination! Be afraid, be very afraid, because it is only the beginning.
Jake: Alright, do you wish to comment on any other WeWA wrestlers at this time?
Stonewall: Actually, I do. How about this Dark Demon guy? Seriously, why did he come out and flip off basically everyone in the federation? Does he have a death wish or something? Oh I forgot, we are all WEAK, oh so WEAK. Bah! The only weak thing is his verbal skills. Does he seriously expect anyone to take him seriously when he says f--- a hundred times in one interview? Does he seriously expect anyone to take him seriously with his Dark Dayz mumbo jumbo? And most of all, what the hell is he talking about when he said he would win the World Title for him? Buddy, you have a few screws loose, there is no him, moreso, you won't win the World Title, at least not in this federation. Sorry, but you need a little something called talent to make it far here, my former "business partner" (who currently resides in this federation) could tell you all about it, and I'm sure you'll hear from him soon enough. Oh yeah, this is for you Dark Demon, just the two words you'll possibly understand, f--- you!
Jake: Anybody else?
Stonewall: Nah, that's all I had to say to the bottom of the barrel right now...
Jake: But Stonewall, aren't you also at the bottom of the barrel?
[Right after this wisecrack, Stonewall glares at Jake.]
Stonewall: (Sharply) Watch your tongue!!
[Jake takes a step back, startled a little by the sharp retort.]
Jake: Settle down, can't you take a joke? How about this big surprise you say you are planning for the Pay Per View?
Stonewall: Oh, that. I've said almost all I had to in my last promo, but here it is again for those who missed it. It will change things drastically in the WeWA. And guess what, its gonna spread like a bad disease, because once it starts, it cannot be stopped! And I'm not the only one involved, so prepare WeWA!
Jake: (Mumbles) It'll probably be a flop...
Stonewall: Watch it Jake! You've streched my patience to its limit!
Jake: Whatever. Any final words before we go?
Stonewall: Thursday marks a new beginning for me and the WeWA. I will vanquish those who challenge me, and steadily work towards being one of the greats! And guess what, Roxanne and Sam Natas are a stepping stone, the next rung in my ladder of success! They can't stop me, no one can. I've already firmly planted my left foot on the next rung, and at the Pay Per View, I put my right foot on, swiftly. Prepare yourselfs, because both of your times will be drawing incredibly near...
Jake: Well, that's it. Interviews over. Now, I'm leaving, I can't stand to be another second with you!
Stonewall: Come here...
[Stonewall grasps Jake by the back of his neck. He then lifts him up in an inverted firemans carry.]
Stonewall: You know I can't end a Jake/Stonewall interview without doing this!
Jake: You f---ing asshole! You tricked me! You said you weren't going to hurt me your prick!
Stonewall: Touchy touchy. I only said I wouldn't "hurt" you, I never said I wouldn't critically injure you!
[With that, Stonewall finishes up his AVALANCHE, leaving Jake lying face first on the concrete. Stonewall laughs at the specticle, grabs the camcorder and gets in his car. Stonewall calls out the window]
Stonewall: Can't wait till we meet again next time Jake! Hahaha!
[Stonewall drives off to send out the interview tape as Jake just lies there unconscious. Eventually, a passerby calls an ambulance and he is picked up and taken to the hospital.]