Those Japanese Wrestlers are f---ing nuts!
--- Outside a stadium --- [Alastor Stonewall is standing outside a Japanese stadium. There is a sign that is in Japanese, but there is an English part that says 'Pro Wrestling' followed by 800 Yen. Stonewall reaches into his pocket, and pulls out everything in his pocket. He counts the money there and sees he has enough. He goes to the desk.] Stonewall: 1 ticket please. [Stonewall hands over the money and the lady merely nods. She then hands Stonewall a ticket and he goes inside. He finds his seat and sits down. There is an empty seat to his left, and many of the younger Japanese kids stare at Stonewall as he sits down.] Stonewall: (To himself) This should be interesting, I've never seen an actual Japanese wrestling event in my life. This should get interesting. [The lights dim, and an announcer comes out and says a few things in Japanese. Then a match starts. The wrestlers are flying all over the place, taking sick bumps down to the cement and performing suicidal move after suicidal move.] Stonewall: (To himself) Now this is what 'hardcore' should be defined as, not that s--- with trash cans and stop signs. [The match ends after about another 10 intense minutes. Stonewall decides to get up and get something to eat. He leaves the arena and heads towards the lobby. Just as he arrives, a Japanese man approaches him.] Japanese Man: Hi sir! I think I know you from watching the American Wrestling. Is this true? [The Man's English is good, but his Japanese accent is noticable and sometimes slurs the words together. Anyway, Stonewall decides to talk to this man for a while.] Stonewall: Yes, that's true. I work for the WeWA. Japanese Man: Ah! Very pleased to meet you sir. [The man extends his hand, hoping to shake Stonewall's hand. However, Stonewall just looks in a different direction.] Japanese Man: Well, my name is Akira Honda, and you are? Stonewall: Just call me Alastor Stonewall. By the way, are you related to the family that makes the Honda? Akira Honda: No. And yes, I think I know you. I've seen in other American federations. Sir, may I ask you a few questions? I would like to tell a few other people about you. Stonewall: Whatever. Shoot. Akira Honda: Why are you here in Japan? Stonewall: Because the WeWA is a touring federation. Our next event is this Thursday in the Egg Dome. Akira Honda: Ah! I have tickets to that thing! I'll see you there! Anyway, who are you facing? Stonewall: Some no talent named Johnny Extreme. Akira Honda: Oh, he sounds dangerous. Stonewall: Hardly. Akira Honda: How so? Please, tell me more. I love those American TV microphone style rants! Stonewall: Ok. Johnny Extreme is the type of guy who never knows when to call it quits. But, he should. You see, this guy claims that he is more than just a garbage wrestler, yet he screwed up his last match. Let's just say that he let's every little thing bother him. Last week, he threw a temper tantrum in front of millions of viewers over his lost match. Then he claims he earned respect when all he did was act like some spoiled brat because he couldn't handle his opponent. Akira Honda: Oh, he seems to be of the unrespectable type! Stonewall: Damn straight! Anyway, he says that I have an ego the size of Japan. Yeah, right. Does he see me running around talking in the third person? Do I run around making up ridicious catchphrases for myself? Do I call myself nicknames that I didn't earn? Do I try and get the fans riled up just to satisfy my inner wants? I can tell you, the answer to every single question is NO! Akira Honda: What, does Johnny Extreme do that? Stonewall: No, not really. I was just describing what a person with the ego the size of Japan does. Akira Honda: Ah! I see! So, what is your gameplan for your matchup? Stonewall: Well, I've already seen that Johnny "I'll take you to the" Extreme "when I grow up" hates mind games. He let his guard WIDE open by admitting that. Although I'm not one for doing mind games, I'm more than sure that I've already managed to get on his nerves quite a bit. And all it takes is one slip up, one mistake for me to crush his ass into a million separate pieces. I'm telling you Akira, this guy should know his limits and just forget about fighting me, because although he may be extreme, I am the ultimate! And we all are very aware that anything extreme simply cannot compare to the ultimate! Akira Honda: Thanks Stonewall. It was nice of you answering my questions. Man, I cannot wait to tell all my friends I met an American wrestler! [Akira holds out his hand again, but Stonewall just ignores it. Stonewall walks over to the concession stand and buys a soda. He then goes back in and watches the rest of the Japanese wrestling show.] --- A few hours later, in Stonewall's rented car --- [Stonewall is driving to a local gym to prepare more for his matchup against Johnny Extreme.] Stonewall: (To himself) Hey, I think it payed off watching that show. I've learned a couple of new things about professional wrestling that I've not seen before. Who knows, maybe I'll get a chance to use them in this particular matchup! Haha, Extreme doesn't have a chance! [Stonewall chuckles slightly to himself as he pulls into the parking lot to work out in the gym.]
[Alastor Stonewall is standing outside a Japanese stadium. There is a sign that is in Japanese, but there is an English part that says 'Pro Wrestling' followed by 800 Yen. Stonewall reaches into his pocket, and pulls out everything in his pocket. He counts the money there and sees he has enough. He goes to the desk.]
Stonewall: 1 ticket please.
[Stonewall hands over the money and the lady merely nods. She then hands Stonewall a ticket and he goes inside. He finds his seat and sits down. There is an empty seat to his left, and many of the younger Japanese kids stare at Stonewall as he sits down.]
Stonewall: (To himself) This should be interesting, I've never seen an actual Japanese wrestling event in my life. This should get interesting.
[The lights dim, and an announcer comes out and says a few things in Japanese. Then a match starts. The wrestlers are flying all over the place, taking sick bumps down to the cement and performing suicidal move after suicidal move.]
Stonewall: (To himself) Now this is what 'hardcore' should be defined as, not that s--- with trash cans and stop signs.
[The match ends after about another 10 intense minutes. Stonewall decides to get up and get something to eat. He leaves the arena and heads towards the lobby. Just as he arrives, a Japanese man approaches him.]
Japanese Man: Hi sir! I think I know you from watching the American Wrestling. Is this true?
[The Man's English is good, but his Japanese accent is noticable and sometimes slurs the words together. Anyway, Stonewall decides to talk to this man for a while.]
Stonewall: Yes, that's true. I work for the WeWA.
Japanese Man: Ah! Very pleased to meet you sir.
[The man extends his hand, hoping to shake Stonewall's hand. However, Stonewall just looks in a different direction.]
Japanese Man: Well, my name is Akira Honda, and you are?
Stonewall: Just call me Alastor Stonewall. By the way, are you related to the family that makes the Honda?
Akira Honda: No. And yes, I think I know you. I've seen in other American federations. Sir, may I ask you a few questions? I would like to tell a few other people about you.
Stonewall: Whatever. Shoot.
Akira Honda: Why are you here in Japan?
Stonewall: Because the WeWA is a touring federation. Our next event is this Thursday in the Egg Dome.
Akira Honda: Ah! I have tickets to that thing! I'll see you there! Anyway, who are you facing?
Stonewall: Some no talent named Johnny Extreme.
Akira Honda: Oh, he sounds dangerous.
Stonewall: Hardly.
Akira Honda: How so? Please, tell me more. I love those American TV microphone style rants!
Stonewall: Ok. Johnny Extreme is the type of guy who never knows when to call it quits. But, he should. You see, this guy claims that he is more than just a garbage wrestler, yet he screwed up his last match. Let's just say that he let's every little thing bother him. Last week, he threw a temper tantrum in front of millions of viewers over his lost match. Then he claims he earned respect when all he did was act like some spoiled brat because he couldn't handle his opponent.
Akira Honda: Oh, he seems to be of the unrespectable type!
Stonewall: Damn straight! Anyway, he says that I have an ego the size of Japan. Yeah, right. Does he see me running around talking in the third person? Do I run around making up ridicious catchphrases for myself? Do I call myself nicknames that I didn't earn? Do I try and get the fans riled up just to satisfy my inner wants? I can tell you, the answer to every single question is NO!
Akira Honda: What, does Johnny Extreme do that?
Stonewall: No, not really. I was just describing what a person with the ego the size of Japan does.
Akira Honda: Ah! I see! So, what is your gameplan for your matchup?
Stonewall: Well, I've already seen that Johnny "I'll take you to the" Extreme "when I grow up" hates mind games. He let his guard WIDE open by admitting that. Although I'm not one for doing mind games, I'm more than sure that I've already managed to get on his nerves quite a bit. And all it takes is one slip up, one mistake for me to crush his ass into a million separate pieces. I'm telling you Akira, this guy should know his limits and just forget about fighting me, because although he may be extreme, I am the ultimate! And we all are very aware that anything extreme simply cannot compare to the ultimate!
Akira Honda: Thanks Stonewall. It was nice of you answering my questions. Man, I cannot wait to tell all my friends I met an American wrestler!
[Akira holds out his hand again, but Stonewall just ignores it. Stonewall walks over to the concession stand and buys a soda. He then goes back in and watches the rest of the Japanese wrestling show.]
[Stonewall is driving to a local gym to prepare more for his matchup against Johnny Extreme.]
Stonewall: (To himself) Hey, I think it payed off watching that show. I've learned a couple of new things about professional wrestling that I've not seen before. Who knows, maybe I'll get a chance to use them in this particular matchup! Haha, Extreme doesn't have a chance!
[Stonewall chuckles slightly to himself as he pulls into the parking lot to work out in the gym.]