Let's get this party started!
[It is now 8:00 PM, and the dark matches of Thursday Night Explosion have already begun. Being that they are dark matches, they all feature wrestlers that no one has ever seen before. They all basically suck, and causes the audience to take multiple bathroom breaks.] [However, after a match between Yokel Yupper and Jebodiah ends, the lights turn off. The entry ramp is flooded with icy blue lights. Falling Away From Me by KoRn begins playing over the large speakers. The WeWA Ovaltron begins to play a video package. It shows Alastor Stonewall performing various maneuvers upon different wrestlers. The heavy metal portion of the song now hits. BOOM!!! Smoke shoots all over the entry way and red lazers flash back and forth. The name Alastor Stonewall is now displayed in large letters on the WeWA Ovaltron, and lightning is flashing in the background. Stonewall is standing in the entry way as the smoke clears. He begins to methodically walk to the ring. Jebodiah is still in the ring when Stonewall gets in. Alastor picks him up and tosses him upon Yokel and then grabs a microphone. He raises it to his mouth to speak.] [A mixed reaction comes from the crowd.] Stonewall: Well, I know that not all of you know who I am. After tonight however, you will. You see, my main opponent of focus will be Tito. Now... [The crowd cheers at the mention of Tito's name.] Stonewall: You know what, SHUT THE F--- UP! I'm trying to tell you what going to happen here, and you really don't want me to. Man, you must be as braindead as the rest of economy poor Canada. [Of course, those comments bring up a flurry of boos against Alastor Stonewall. It was the very reaction he was looking for. Now that he let them know he is a "heel", he continues to talk.] Stonewall: Well, as I was saying before, I'm facing Tito, Live Wire, Sam Natas, and the "Assassin" Karl Davis. This match will not take place in the very ring that I am standing in, but instead it is taking place backstage. What's more, the first one eliminated is fired. [Stonewall stops talking for a minute, and looks around. He then resumes talking.] Stonewall: By now, I'm sure all of you freaks know about Tito's fetish for John. Yes, that's exactly what it is. But, I won't condemn him, because there are actually sicker things out there, believe it or not. [Alastor Stonewall proceeds to take out of his pocket the same can of show polish that he showed earlier.] Stonewall: In this can are the remains of Harry Moose. Now, I'm sure that not all of you caught that moment, so let's relive it once again. [Stonewall points up to the WeWA OvalTron. It stops showing live footage and plays the following re-run: "[Stonewall holds up a chainsaw that was laying beside him. He then also grabs a stuffed moose and holds it up.] Stonewall: Tito, John, meet Harry. Harry the moose. In terms of physical looks, he could be John's twin. However, that is not the case. This thing was bought at a local dollar store, for about $5.00. What a ripoff I might add, a dollar store selling a stuffed moose for $5.00. Back to the main subject, see this chainsaw? It's the same one I would plan on bringing to our little matchup this Thursday. Now, before I do the envitable, let's see what Harry Moose has to say... [The camera zooms in and the sound reception device is turned up full blast.] Harry Moose: .............................................................................................................. Stonewall: What was that? Harry Moose: ........... help ..... me...... John...... Tito........ Stonewall's........ sick.......... and........ twisted........ Stonewall: Oh well, no sense in waiting for a stuffed moose to talk, because it can never happen. Now watch as I demonstrate the coming events of this Thursday! [Stonewall revs up the chainsaw, and the microphone's volume is turned down. Stonewall sets Harry Moose down on a prop stool, on his belly. Stonewall begins to slowly bring the chainsaw down.] Stonewall: Let's count down Tito and John! 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 0! [The chainsaw connects with the moose's head, and stuffing begins to fly everywhere. The head begins to detach as the chainsaw buzzes. Eventually, a clean cut is made. Stonewall shuts off the chainsaw, sets it down, and holds up the head in his right hand (along with the microphone), and the body in his left. Dexter Toodle looks on with wide eyes.]" The tape shuts off. The fans are having a mixed reaction. Most boo, some cheer, and a small group is laughing their asses off. Stonewall resumes talking.] Stonewall: See? That is what I plan to do to John Moose once I beat the rest of the slackers that I'm facing. It's up to you Tito to figure out how I'm going to bring a chainsaw to the match, but maybe I'll see a way. Haha. [Stonewall turns around and looks at other side of the arena, where the rest of the crowd is sitting.] Stonewall: As you all can probably guess, I'm not extremely concerned about the outcome of this matchup. Sure, maybe I'll get a bruse here, a scratch there, but ont much else. I can't say that much for the rest of the guys in this matchup. They all be a bloodly mass once I'm through with them, and I can do that without weapons. If one of them pisses me off enough, expect me to grab something, and that's when careers become endangered. I've already have a plan on how this match will progress, plus I have a backup. And a backup for that backup. I'm ready. Are the rest of you? [Stonewall drops the microphone and begins to leave. The crowd boos as Stonewall leaves to Falling Away From Me by KoRn. The dark matches now resume.] [Backstage, Stonewall walks around the different dressing rooms. He sees Snake Eyes, Steve Sinister, Live Wire, Kid Evil, and then Tito's. Stonewall knocks on Tito's door.] Stonewall: Hey Tito, are you in there? Open up you putz! [Stonewall turns the doorknob and it opens. Tito is not around, so Stonewall writes a note and leaves it on a table. The camera zooms in on the note: "Yo Tito. I'm your biggest fan, and I have a moose just like yours. I'd love it if you'd bring him to watch the backstage brawl, especially to kick Stonerboner's ass! Good luck. Your pal, Timmy" Stonewall had disguised his handwriting.] Stonewall: If this doesn't work, I don't know what will! [Stonewall goes back in his dressing room and begins to physically and mentally prepare for his matchup.]
[It is now 8:00 PM, and the dark matches of Thursday Night Explosion have already begun. Being that they are dark matches, they all feature wrestlers that no one has ever seen before. They all basically suck, and causes the audience to take multiple bathroom breaks.]
[However, after a match between Yokel Yupper and Jebodiah ends, the lights turn off. The entry ramp is flooded with icy blue lights. Falling Away From Me by KoRn begins playing over the large speakers. The WeWA Ovaltron begins to play a video package. It shows Alastor Stonewall performing various maneuvers upon different wrestlers. The heavy metal portion of the song now hits. BOOM!!! Smoke shoots all over the entry way and red lazers flash back and forth. The name Alastor Stonewall is now displayed in large letters on the WeWA Ovaltron, and lightning is flashing in the background. Stonewall is standing in the entry way as the smoke clears. He begins to methodically walk to the ring. Jebodiah is still in the ring when Stonewall gets in. Alastor picks him up and tosses him upon Yokel and then grabs a microphone. He raises it to his mouth to speak.]
[A mixed reaction comes from the crowd.]
Stonewall: Well, I know that not all of you know who I am. After tonight however, you will. You see, my main opponent of focus will be Tito. Now...
[The crowd cheers at the mention of Tito's name.]
Stonewall: You know what, SHUT THE F--- UP! I'm trying to tell you what going to happen here, and you really don't want me to. Man, you must be as braindead as the rest of economy poor Canada.
[Of course, those comments bring up a flurry of boos against Alastor Stonewall. It was the very reaction he was looking for. Now that he let them know he is a "heel", he continues to talk.]
Stonewall: Well, as I was saying before, I'm facing Tito, Live Wire, Sam Natas, and the "Assassin" Karl Davis. This match will not take place in the very ring that I am standing in, but instead it is taking place backstage. What's more, the first one eliminated is fired.
[Stonewall stops talking for a minute, and looks around. He then resumes talking.]
Stonewall: By now, I'm sure all of you freaks know about Tito's fetish for John. Yes, that's exactly what it is. But, I won't condemn him, because there are actually sicker things out there, believe it or not.
[Alastor Stonewall proceeds to take out of his pocket the same can of show polish that he showed earlier.]
Stonewall: In this can are the remains of Harry Moose. Now, I'm sure that not all of you caught that moment, so let's relive it once again.
[Stonewall points up to the WeWA OvalTron. It stops showing live footage and plays the following re-run:
"[Stonewall holds up a chainsaw that was laying beside him. He then also grabs a stuffed moose and holds it up.]
Stonewall: Tito, John, meet Harry. Harry the moose. In terms of physical looks, he could be John's twin. However, that is not the case. This thing was bought at a local dollar store, for about $5.00. What a ripoff I might add, a dollar store selling a stuffed moose for $5.00. Back to the main subject, see this chainsaw? It's the same one I would plan on bringing to our little matchup this Thursday. Now, before I do the envitable, let's see what Harry Moose has to say...
[The camera zooms in and the sound reception device is turned up full blast.]
Harry Moose: ..............................................................................................................
Stonewall: What was that?
Harry Moose: ........... help ..... me...... John...... Tito........ Stonewall's........ sick.......... and........ twisted........
Stonewall: Oh well, no sense in waiting for a stuffed moose to talk, because it can never happen. Now watch as I demonstrate the coming events of this Thursday!
[Stonewall revs up the chainsaw, and the microphone's volume is turned down. Stonewall sets Harry Moose down on a prop stool, on his belly. Stonewall begins to slowly bring the chainsaw down.]
Stonewall: Let's count down Tito and John! 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 0!
[The chainsaw connects with the moose's head, and stuffing begins to fly everywhere. The head begins to detach as the chainsaw buzzes. Eventually, a clean cut is made. Stonewall shuts off the chainsaw, sets it down, and holds up the head in his right hand (along with the microphone), and the body in his left. Dexter Toodle looks on with wide eyes.]"
The tape shuts off. The fans are having a mixed reaction. Most boo, some cheer, and a small group is laughing their asses off. Stonewall resumes talking.]
Stonewall: See? That is what I plan to do to John Moose once I beat the rest of the slackers that I'm facing. It's up to you Tito to figure out how I'm going to bring a chainsaw to the match, but maybe I'll see a way. Haha.
[Stonewall turns around and looks at other side of the arena, where the rest of the crowd is sitting.]
Stonewall: As you all can probably guess, I'm not extremely concerned about the outcome of this matchup. Sure, maybe I'll get a bruse here, a scratch there, but ont much else. I can't say that much for the rest of the guys in this matchup. They all be a bloodly mass once I'm through with them, and I can do that without weapons. If one of them pisses me off enough, expect me to grab something, and that's when careers become endangered. I've already have a plan on how this match will progress, plus I have a backup. And a backup for that backup. I'm ready. Are the rest of you?
[Stonewall drops the microphone and begins to leave. The crowd boos as Stonewall leaves to Falling Away From Me by KoRn. The dark matches now resume.] [Backstage, Stonewall walks around the different dressing rooms. He sees Snake Eyes, Steve Sinister, Live Wire, Kid Evil, and then Tito's. Stonewall knocks on Tito's door.]
Stonewall: Hey Tito, are you in there? Open up you putz!
[Stonewall turns the doorknob and it opens. Tito is not around, so Stonewall writes a note and leaves it on a table. The camera zooms in on the note:
"Yo Tito. I'm your biggest fan, and I have a moose just like yours. I'd love it if you'd bring him to watch the backstage brawl, especially to kick Stonerboner's ass! Good luck.
Your pal,
Timmy"
Stonewall had disguised his handwriting.]
Stonewall: If this doesn't work, I don't know what will!
[Stonewall goes back in his dressing room and begins to physically and mentally prepare for his matchup.]