Damn! Where's that transcript?
[Alastor Stonewall is walking around a park. He decided to get some fresh air, and try and relax. He finds a tree, and sits below it. Stonewall tugs his baseball cap (which is all black, no logo) down over his head, and closes his eyes, as if he was going to fall asleep.] [While resting, a young couple are walking in the park. The man is wearing a wrestling shirt. He spots Stonewall snoozing under a tree. He calls out to him.] Young Man: Hey! Yeah you, sleeping under the tree. You look familar, have I seen you from somewhere? [Stonewall lifts the cap up and stands up. He sees the young couple together, and once again feels saddened. Stonewall however covers it up. Stonewall notices the T-Shirt the man is wearing.] Stonewall: Well, do you watch wrestling? Young Man: Yeah. Stonewall: Ever heard of WeWA? Or possibly the now defunct WeW? That may be where you recognize me from. Young Man: Yeah, I've seen some of both federations. All I remember is seeing someone with green hair. Stonewall: Well, I guess that was me. [Stonewall then leans back against the tree and sits down, and covers his eyes with the black baseball cap. He closes his eyes.] Young Man: Aren't you gonna talk some more? Or at least give me an autograph? Stonewall: .........Get a life. [The Young Man clenches his fist and looks ready to tear Stonewall apart. However, his girlfriend holds him back.] Young Woman: Look, let's just leave him alone. C'mon, lets go! Are you listening to me Fred? Let's GO! [The Young Man consents and begins to walk away, occasionally looking over his right shoulder at Stonewall. They talk back and forth, but the Young Woman says something audible to Stonewall.] Young Woman: Someone like that needs a girlfriend!! [Stonewall flinches, and once again is depressed. However, he harbors an extreme amount of anger for the young couple. But, he instead stands up and leaves the park.] --- A few hours later --- [Stonewall has went back to his hotel room. On his bed is a tape marked 'Tito's wittel intawew'. Stonewall picks it up, and chucks it in the trash can, picks up the transcript and reads that. After studing it for several minutes, he calls room service.] Stonewall: (On Phone) Yes, I would like a camcorder up here. *pause* What? *pause* Don't give me that "we don't have one" BS. *pause* Then go find one! *pause* Yes, you can put it on my hotel bill! BYE! [Stonewall slams the phone back on the receiver. He rubs his face, and lays down. After about 15 minutes, a knock is heard on the door. He answers it, and the same Bellhop is at the door.] Bellhop: Here's your camcorder, sir! [Stonewall grabs the camcorder, and begins to shut the door. But, the Bellhop holds the door for a second.] Bellhop: Sir, you must give me a tip! I searched through many a store to find that camcorder! Stonewall: Do you really think I give a s---? Get lost! [Stonewall slams the door hard, and locks it. He places the camcorder on a desk and faces it towards a chair. Stonewall presses record, and sits in the chair.] Stonewall: Well, I guess you could call this an amateur interview, I don't care. Point is, I was once again forced to read over the senseless drivel that Tito spewed forth earlier today. And once again, I had to read through that transcript a few times to get a feel on what he was talking about. However, I managed to decipher it, and now I have a few things to comment on. Did I piss you off Tito? Did I make you feel dumbfounded and at a loss for words? That's okay, most everyone who I face is like that. It's nothing new. Funny thing is, they also talk like you do, but that's AFTER I demolish them, not before. You must be one of the special cases. However, I'm flexible, I can deal with changes. [Stonewall digs the tape out of the trashcan, and pops it in the VCR. He fast forwards to the part where Tito talks about him.] Stonewall: I guess I should use some verbal and visual examples to help my interview along. Let's see... Tito (pre-recorded): "...Second, I think that you're going to stand a chance of making it into the WeWA, you're not going to win your first match, but you're going to be in, to tell you da truth, if it comes down to you me and Darl, I'll beat his ass let you get the pin then when you get up, I'll pin your retarded ass! Now, the reason that I want you in the WeWA is it will be more competition for me! And that is what I've been lookin' for dats whi I came to the WeWA! Dats' all until I watch the tapes from what you said about me....." [Stonewall pauses the tape, and chuckles. He then looks into the camcorder.] Stonewall: Well, at least you got a couple things correct. Yes, I am going to make it in the WeWA, that's guaranteed. I may not like anyone, I may not do what I'm told, but when it comes to working hard, I AM the paragon! None of you could hope to stand up and be at my level! And this includes you Tito. So yes, I'll pin Karl Davis. However, where did you get the idea that you could pin me immediately after I make a pin? Does that make sense? No, not really. I'd kick out before the ref got to one. Basically, I do forsee the match going down between the two of us, because I want to save you for last. Consider that a blessing, you get to live your life longer than the rest of the bumbling asses that will be eliminated beforehand. [Stonewall picks up the VCR remote, and finds another specific part of Tito's interview.] Tito (pre-recorded): "There are many places you can go, there are many places you can wonder, there are many places dat you can stumbl' upon, but going and talkin' about my Moose that something different, youc an insult him all you want, hell you can insult me all ya want' but when you go and talk about him in ways that I don't' like... you're screwing around wit' me and Wall, I think you're the first real guy that is beginnin' to piss me off, not because you look strong, not because you try hard, because you've got one hell of a mouth on ya and da things needs to stop runnin' over here in this direction towards the moose! You will not think twice about puttin' your hands on Moose, do you want me to tell you why? Because afta' you think the firs ttime, I'll whip the hell out of you so taht you don't even think about it! If you think you can take the head from my moose, I'll bring him to the ringside with me, hell, oh wait, dere is not win' side we're wresslin in da back just remind me when you come by my locker room to get my muse,a nd I'll bwing him to our match. And let him have front row seats. And as far as listening to him speak a full sentence that will be b ullship if i ever see it! He's a little an imal of mine and I do not want him saying any big words ! I do not want him to do anything but set there and ........... do nothing just look around." [Stonewall turns off the tape and once again looks at the camera.] Stonewall: That's the other part I wanted to touch on. Did I offend John? Did I scare Mr. Moose! Pheh, you stuffed friend is about as meaningful to me as a piece of s--- in a toliet is. All you do with it is get rid of it. Too late, I've already thought about touching your moose, more likely, hurting it. Haha, ah, the joy that would bring me. To see you screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dow'nt huwt John Muse! Wat r u dowing wit dat chainwaw? Swop ditttttt!!!!!". [Stonewall stops to make sure he can keep himself from laughing and stay serious so he can finish the interview.] Stonewall: Bring your moose to get a front row seat, and I'll see to it that he gets a first-class knuckle sandwich! I can't believe your willing to actually bring your moose along! Don't you realise that I'm out for it? If you leave that thing lying around, I'm gonna throw it in a wood shredder! As for him speaking, I seriously thought you wanted him to talk! Why would you ask him to say something for the camera if you didn't. Make up your three year old mind! I don't have all day to listen to your bulls---. Now, about the other guys in the matchup, I've got nothing else to say really. In my last interview I basically told them what was on their mind. I guess that was enough to scare them away. However, Karl Davis may actually be an actual factor in the matchup. But he's a hardcore numbnut, so no real worries there. Out-wrestling him will be a breeze. Same goes for Live Wire and Sam Natas. Jeez, can I actually get some competition here, or am I gonna be stuck with Mr. Tito? Whatever, through all the losers you want at me, because I'll just mow right through them, and disessemble them piece by piece. [Stonewall stands up and turns off the camcorder. He takes the tape out of it with his interview, and opens his hotel door. Still standing there is the Bellhop, with his hand outstreched.] Bellhop: Dammit, give me a tip! [Stonewall, obviously annoyed, responds.] Stonewall: Will you leave me alone if I get you a tip? Bellhop: Yes. Stonewall: Here then... [Stonewall uses his left hand and reaches into his left pocket. He then uses his right hand and punches the Bellhop square in the jaw. Stonewall then drops a bunch of pennies on the Bellhop.] Stonewall: Loser... he should have seen that coming. Oh well. [Stonewall steps over the unconsious body of the Bellhop, and goes into the hotel parking lot. He gets in his rented car, and drives to a post office. He addresses a few packages (to Tito, Sam Natas, Live Wire, and Karl Davis), puts the tapes in and sends them express.] Stonewall: Well that takes care of that. I'm hungry, I think I'll go get something to eat... [Stonewall pulls out and drives off to go somewhere to eat.]
[While resting, a young couple are walking in the park. The man is wearing a wrestling shirt. He spots Stonewall snoozing under a tree. He calls out to him.]
Young Man: Hey! Yeah you, sleeping under the tree. You look familar, have I seen you from somewhere?
[Stonewall lifts the cap up and stands up. He sees the young couple together, and once again feels saddened. Stonewall however covers it up. Stonewall notices the T-Shirt the man is wearing.]
Stonewall: Well, do you watch wrestling?
Young Man: Yeah.
Stonewall: Ever heard of WeWA? Or possibly the now defunct WeW? That may be where you recognize me from.
Young Man: Yeah, I've seen some of both federations. All I remember is seeing someone with green hair.
Stonewall: Well, I guess that was me.
[Stonewall then leans back against the tree and sits down, and covers his eyes with the black baseball cap. He closes his eyes.]
Young Man: Aren't you gonna talk some more? Or at least give me an autograph?
Stonewall: .........Get a life.
[The Young Man clenches his fist and looks ready to tear Stonewall apart. However, his girlfriend holds him back.]
Young Woman: Look, let's just leave him alone. C'mon, lets go! Are you listening to me Fred? Let's GO!
[The Young Man consents and begins to walk away, occasionally looking over his right shoulder at Stonewall. They talk back and forth, but the Young Woman says something audible to Stonewall.]
Young Woman: Someone like that needs a girlfriend!!
[Stonewall flinches, and once again is depressed. However, he harbors an extreme amount of anger for the young couple. But, he instead stands up and leaves the park.]
[Stonewall has went back to his hotel room. On his bed is a tape marked 'Tito's wittel intawew'. Stonewall picks it up, and chucks it in the trash can, picks up the transcript and reads that. After studing it for several minutes, he calls room service.]
Stonewall: (On Phone) Yes, I would like a camcorder up here. *pause* What? *pause* Don't give me that "we don't have one" BS. *pause* Then go find one! *pause* Yes, you can put it on my hotel bill! BYE!
[Stonewall slams the phone back on the receiver. He rubs his face, and lays down. After about 15 minutes, a knock is heard on the door. He answers it, and the same Bellhop is at the door.]
Bellhop: Here's your camcorder, sir!
[Stonewall grabs the camcorder, and begins to shut the door. But, the Bellhop holds the door for a second.]
Bellhop: Sir, you must give me a tip! I searched through many a store to find that camcorder!
Stonewall: Do you really think I give a s---? Get lost!
[Stonewall slams the door hard, and locks it. He places the camcorder on a desk and faces it towards a chair. Stonewall presses record, and sits in the chair.]
Stonewall: Well, I guess you could call this an amateur interview, I don't care. Point is, I was once again forced to read over the senseless drivel that Tito spewed forth earlier today. And once again, I had to read through that transcript a few times to get a feel on what he was talking about. However, I managed to decipher it, and now I have a few things to comment on. Did I piss you off Tito? Did I make you feel dumbfounded and at a loss for words? That's okay, most everyone who I face is like that. It's nothing new. Funny thing is, they also talk like you do, but that's AFTER I demolish them, not before. You must be one of the special cases. However, I'm flexible, I can deal with changes.
[Stonewall digs the tape out of the trashcan, and pops it in the VCR. He fast forwards to the part where Tito talks about him.]
Stonewall: I guess I should use some verbal and visual examples to help my interview along. Let's see...
Tito (pre-recorded): "...Second, I think that you're going to stand a chance of making it into the WeWA, you're not going to win your first match, but you're going to be in, to tell you da truth, if it comes down to you me and Darl, I'll beat his ass let you get the pin then when you get up, I'll pin your retarded ass! Now, the reason that I want you in the WeWA is it will be more competition for me! And that is what I've been lookin' for dats whi I came to the WeWA! Dats' all until I watch the tapes from what you said about me....."
[Stonewall pauses the tape, and chuckles. He then looks into the camcorder.]
Stonewall: Well, at least you got a couple things correct. Yes, I am going to make it in the WeWA, that's guaranteed. I may not like anyone, I may not do what I'm told, but when it comes to working hard, I AM the paragon! None of you could hope to stand up and be at my level! And this includes you Tito. So yes, I'll pin Karl Davis. However, where did you get the idea that you could pin me immediately after I make a pin? Does that make sense? No, not really. I'd kick out before the ref got to one. Basically, I do forsee the match going down between the two of us, because I want to save you for last. Consider that a blessing, you get to live your life longer than the rest of the bumbling asses that will be eliminated beforehand.
[Stonewall picks up the VCR remote, and finds another specific part of Tito's interview.]
Tito (pre-recorded): "There are many places you can go, there are many places you can wonder, there are many places dat you can stumbl' upon, but going and talkin' about my Moose that something different, youc an insult him all you want, hell you can insult me all ya want' but when you go and talk about him in ways that I don't' like... you're screwing around wit' me and Wall, I think you're the first real guy that is beginnin' to piss me off, not because you look strong, not because you try hard, because you've got one hell of a mouth on ya and da things needs to stop runnin' over here in this direction towards the moose! You will not think twice about puttin' your hands on Moose, do you want me to tell you why? Because afta' you think the firs ttime, I'll whip the hell out of you so taht you don't even think about it! If you think you can take the head from my moose, I'll bring him to the ringside with me, hell, oh wait, dere is not win' side we're wresslin in da back just remind me when you come by my locker room to get my muse,a nd I'll bwing him to our match. And let him have front row seats. And as far as listening to him speak a full sentence that will be b ullship if i ever see it! He's a little an imal of mine and I do not want him saying any big words ! I do not want him to do anything but set there and ........... do nothing just look around."
[Stonewall turns off the tape and once again looks at the camera.]
Stonewall: That's the other part I wanted to touch on. Did I offend John? Did I scare Mr. Moose! Pheh, you stuffed friend is about as meaningful to me as a piece of s--- in a toliet is. All you do with it is get rid of it. Too late, I've already thought about touching your moose, more likely, hurting it. Haha, ah, the joy that would bring me. To see you screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dow'nt huwt John Muse! Wat r u dowing wit dat chainwaw? Swop ditttttt!!!!!".
[Stonewall stops to make sure he can keep himself from laughing and stay serious so he can finish the interview.]
Stonewall: Bring your moose to get a front row seat, and I'll see to it that he gets a first-class knuckle sandwich! I can't believe your willing to actually bring your moose along! Don't you realise that I'm out for it? If you leave that thing lying around, I'm gonna throw it in a wood shredder! As for him speaking, I seriously thought you wanted him to talk! Why would you ask him to say something for the camera if you didn't. Make up your three year old mind! I don't have all day to listen to your bulls---. Now, about the other guys in the matchup, I've got nothing else to say really. In my last interview I basically told them what was on their mind. I guess that was enough to scare them away. However, Karl Davis may actually be an actual factor in the matchup. But he's a hardcore numbnut, so no real worries there. Out-wrestling him will be a breeze. Same goes for Live Wire and Sam Natas. Jeez, can I actually get some competition here, or am I gonna be stuck with Mr. Tito? Whatever, through all the losers you want at me, because I'll just mow right through them, and disessemble them piece by piece.
[Stonewall stands up and turns off the camcorder. He takes the tape out of it with his interview, and opens his hotel door. Still standing there is the Bellhop, with his hand outstreched.]
Bellhop: Dammit, give me a tip!
[Stonewall, obviously annoyed, responds.]
Stonewall: Will you leave me alone if I get you a tip?
Bellhop: Yes.
Stonewall: Here then...
[Stonewall uses his left hand and reaches into his left pocket. He then uses his right hand and punches the Bellhop square in the jaw. Stonewall then drops a bunch of pennies on the Bellhop.]
Stonewall: Loser... he should have seen that coming. Oh well.
[Stonewall steps over the unconsious body of the Bellhop, and goes into the hotel parking lot. He gets in his rented car, and drives to a post office. He addresses a few packages (to Tito, Sam Natas, Live Wire, and Karl Davis), puts the tapes in and sends them express.]
Stonewall: Well that takes care of that. I'm hungry, I think I'll go get something to eat...
[Stonewall pulls out and drives off to go somewhere to eat.]