Fair enough, my first match could be my last. Unfortunately for all of you, that will not be the case!
[It is about 3 hours after Alastor Stonewall gave his press conference. He is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He is seriously troubled still by the final question the press asked him.] Stonewall: (To himself) Why am I feeling this way? I've never even really cared about this subject before. It's f---ing tearing me apart! [There is a knock at the door. Stonewall pulls himself off of his bed, and answers the door. A bellhop in a red suit is standing there, holding a letter. He hands it to Stonewall.] Bellhop: Here is a letter for you Mr. Stonewall. It is from mr. batee. He told me to deliver it to you promptly. [The Bellhop holds out his hand, expecting a tip. Stonewall just looks at him blankly.] Stonewall: Just get the hell out of here. I'm busy. [Stonewall slams the door and locks it. He sits on a chair and opens the letter. It reads as follows: Mr. Stonewall You match on Thursday will be in a Backstage Brawl. The gimmick of the match is that the first person eliminated loses his job. I hope you don't take this too personally, it's strictly business. You will be facing: Karl Davis Live Wire Tito Sam Natas [Stonewall lays the letter down on the table and processes the thought carefully. He then stands up and walks out of his room and gets into the parking lot. He gets in his parked car and drives away.] --- A few hours later --- [There is a camera set up in an empty arena. It stays static, and is not meant to be moved. The center of focus is on Alastor Stonewall, who is ready to cut a promo.] Stonewall: Alright, I've just been informed by mr. batee that I'll be facing four other people in a "First Loser is Fired Matchup" this Thursday. Oh joy, its fitting that immediately when I join this fed, they already seem to want me out of it. Maybe mr. batee heard about all the destruction I've done over the years, the number of injuries I've caused. Whatever the case, he will be denied. You ALL will be denied. You can't get rid of me, just ask my former "business partner", he'll tell you. This is only the beginning. [Stonewall thinks over the four opponents that he needs to face on Thursday.] Stonewall: Well, I mind as well start with Live Wire, since he is all pissy about his own debut matchup, as well as mine, already has his job on the line. First off, let me state that I am not at all worried about how this match will turn out. Why is that? Because I already know I have the win in the bag. You wouldn't be worried either if your self-confidence wasn't so low. Heck, I may not give a s--- about what the fans think, I may not care about what I'm told to do, but one thing is for sure, I'm very aware of my own abilites. Come Thursday LiveWire, you may very well be standing in line at some crappy federation, filling out an application because you lost. Live your life as a loser. That's fine by me, you run your own life, not mine. All I can tell you is, throw me into the equation, and you've got one dangerous situation. As for your little hardcore rant, you want to know what I think about hardcore? I think it is for p---ies who have zero talent. Ever notice how hardcore wrestlers have never snaped a suplex, never executed a spinebuster, or any technical move? It's because they are too stupid to do anything else. All they can do is hit each other with trashcans and stop signs. Those chair shots really do take a toll on the brain, but all hardcore wrestlers are too fazed to see that. And yes, I am VERY aware that this match is no holds barred. Doesn't mean I have to resort to weapons. Now, I won't go out and say that I don't have the guts to use them, once again, just ask my former "business partner", he'll tell you all about it. However, it would be only when I see no other opportunity, and with the lowlifes that are involved, I may be able to win this match without lifting a single chair. Now, onto Sam Natas. You all should take notice, this guy has some intelligence. He hasn't said a damn thing for over a week now, and yes, I rumaged through many promo tapes to figure that out. Although he was in this match before I was, my presence is so great that it should give him many more reasons to skip town. Who's next on the list? Oh yes, Karl Davis. Another pissy, whining little pathetic soul crying "This is an insult to my lackluster career! I should be held by the hand all the way to the World Title!". Ooohh, you've had a five match winning streak. See how impressed I am? Here, let me write you a cheque... [Stonewall grabs a pad of paper and scribbles on it. He shows it to the camera. It says: "Pay to Karl Davis the amount of $1.00 over the course of 20 years". Stonewall tosses the cheque aside afterwards.] Stonewall: Enjoy this amount while you can, because you may not even see that much money after Thursday. Maybe you will be the unlucky factor in this match. After listening to you whine and moan like LiveWire, I wouldn't doubt the chances of it happening! You can go on and on and on about how you were charged with stalking. You can yell at the commishioner all you want. Point is, actions are stronger than words. As you complain, I make ready. As you try to get out of the match, I study my opponents. Get the point? Your wasting your time, and your getting worse by the minute. But then again, your another one of those 'hardcore' wrestlers that I find so pathetic. Play with your little trash cans and chairs, just don't try and rub your untalented ways off on me. Mark your calender, and look for some new jobs, because you could be the one... Finally, let's talk about Tito, the Grade School escapee. Look, I had to go and listen to three tapes of your nonsense, and then I had to go back and listen to them again. Guess what, I still had no idea what you said. So, I went and found transcripts. God knows I'm gonna read those instead of listening to your interviews anymore. Are you for real? Are you supposed to be taken seriously? Jesus, take a look at what your saying! Did you fail Grade School or skip it? Or were you asleep the whole time?! The ignorance of everyone never fails to amaze me. But idz awl wight wittel Tito! The big, scary man Alastor Stonewall won't hurt you tooo muwch. I will twy hward and make you wose weal fast, dokey okey? Good. I hope you understood that, because that took a lot of effort on my part to speak in your tongue. Actually, I'm gonna make you scream, I'm gonna make you squirm. You will be one of my victims of the night. You have no idea how much glee I get when I pound down on someone who speaks like you. Call me sadistic, but that's a very fitting word for a description of myself. Seeing people suffer seems to have a magical effect on me, and when I am handing out that suffering, that effect becomes greater. And after I'm done with you, I'm gonna take your little friend John. Then I'll take something called a chainsaw, you know, a thing with a moving blade, and proceed to carefully and systemattically sever the head of Mr. Moose! Then maybe, just maybe, John will finally speak a sentence! Wouldn't that be a riot! [Stonewall moves closer to the camera. He is about done speaking, and his is ready for his closing statements.] Stonewall: Tito, LiveWire, Sam Natas, and Karl Davis, prepare yourselves. You've got three days to stew over my words, and get ready for a loss. Furthermore, all of you should prepare to be the first to lose, so maybe you'll go out looking sort of dignified. Knowing your types however, I seriously doubt that. It's been a long night. I'm out... [The recording from the camera is cut off. Stonewall stands up and walks back and out of the empty arena. He is sweating a little, but is satisfied.] Stonewall: (To himself) Well, I must say that went rather well... [Stonewall gets in the parking lot and drives back to his hotel along the way, at a stop light, he sees a couple walking side by side, enjoying their company. Stonewall drops his head to the steering wheel, but then quickly realises the light turned green. He goes back to his hotel, his great mood broken and somewhat saddened.] Alastor Stonewall
You match on Thursday will be in a Backstage Brawl. The gimmick of the match is that the first person eliminated loses his job. I hope you don't take this too personally, it's strictly business. You will be facing: Karl Davis Live Wire Tito Sam Natas [Stonewall lays the letter down on the table and processes the thought carefully. He then stands up and walks out of his room and gets into the parking lot. He gets in his parked car and drives away.]
[There is a camera set up in an empty arena. It stays static, and is not meant to be moved. The center of focus is on Alastor Stonewall, who is ready to cut a promo.] Stonewall: Alright, I've just been informed by mr. batee that I'll be facing four other people in a "First Loser is Fired Matchup" this Thursday. Oh joy, its fitting that immediately when I join this fed, they already seem to want me out of it. Maybe mr. batee heard about all the destruction I've done over the years, the number of injuries I've caused. Whatever the case, he will be denied. You ALL will be denied. You can't get rid of me, just ask my former "business partner", he'll tell you. This is only the beginning. [Stonewall thinks over the four opponents that he needs to face on Thursday.] Stonewall: Well, I mind as well start with Live Wire, since he is all pissy about his own debut matchup, as well as mine, already has his job on the line. First off, let me state that I am not at all worried about how this match will turn out. Why is that? Because I already know I have the win in the bag. You wouldn't be worried either if your self-confidence wasn't so low. Heck, I may not give a s--- about what the fans think, I may not care about what I'm told to do, but one thing is for sure, I'm very aware of my own abilites. Come Thursday LiveWire, you may very well be standing in line at some crappy federation, filling out an application because you lost. Live your life as a loser. That's fine by me, you run your own life, not mine. All I can tell you is, throw me into the equation, and you've got one dangerous situation. As for your little hardcore rant, you want to know what I think about hardcore? I think it is for p---ies who have zero talent. Ever notice how hardcore wrestlers have never snaped a suplex, never executed a spinebuster, or any technical move? It's because they are too stupid to do anything else. All they can do is hit each other with trashcans and stop signs. Those chair shots really do take a toll on the brain, but all hardcore wrestlers are too fazed to see that. And yes, I am VERY aware that this match is no holds barred. Doesn't mean I have to resort to weapons. Now, I won't go out and say that I don't have the guts to use them, once again, just ask my former "business partner", he'll tell you all about it. However, it would be only when I see no other opportunity, and with the lowlifes that are involved, I may be able to win this match without lifting a single chair. Now, onto Sam Natas. You all should take notice, this guy has some intelligence. He hasn't said a damn thing for over a week now, and yes, I rumaged through many promo tapes to figure that out. Although he was in this match before I was, my presence is so great that it should give him many more reasons to skip town. Who's next on the list? Oh yes, Karl Davis. Another pissy, whining little pathetic soul crying "This is an insult to my lackluster career! I should be held by the hand all the way to the World Title!". Ooohh, you've had a five match winning streak. See how impressed I am? Here, let me write you a cheque... [Stonewall grabs a pad of paper and scribbles on it. He shows it to the camera. It says: "Pay to Karl Davis the amount of $1.00 over the course of 20 years". Stonewall tosses the cheque aside afterwards.] Stonewall: Enjoy this amount while you can, because you may not even see that much money after Thursday. Maybe you will be the unlucky factor in this match. After listening to you whine and moan like LiveWire, I wouldn't doubt the chances of it happening! You can go on and on and on about how you were charged with stalking. You can yell at the commishioner all you want. Point is, actions are stronger than words. As you complain, I make ready. As you try to get out of the match, I study my opponents. Get the point? Your wasting your time, and your getting worse by the minute. But then again, your another one of those 'hardcore' wrestlers that I find so pathetic. Play with your little trash cans and chairs, just don't try and rub your untalented ways off on me. Mark your calender, and look for some new jobs, because you could be the one... Finally, let's talk about Tito, the Grade School escapee. Look, I had to go and listen to three tapes of your nonsense, and then I had to go back and listen to them again. Guess what, I still had no idea what you said. So, I went and found transcripts. God knows I'm gonna read those instead of listening to your interviews anymore. Are you for real? Are you supposed to be taken seriously? Jesus, take a look at what your saying! Did you fail Grade School or skip it? Or were you asleep the whole time?! The ignorance of everyone never fails to amaze me. But idz awl wight wittel Tito! The big, scary man Alastor Stonewall won't hurt you tooo muwch. I will twy hward and make you wose weal fast, dokey okey? Good. I hope you understood that, because that took a lot of effort on my part to speak in your tongue. Actually, I'm gonna make you scream, I'm gonna make you squirm. You will be one of my victims of the night. You have no idea how much glee I get when I pound down on someone who speaks like you. Call me sadistic, but that's a very fitting word for a description of myself. Seeing people suffer seems to have a magical effect on me, and when I am handing out that suffering, that effect becomes greater. And after I'm done with you, I'm gonna take your little friend John. Then I'll take something called a chainsaw, you know, a thing with a moving blade, and proceed to carefully and systemattically sever the head of Mr. Moose! Then maybe, just maybe, John will finally speak a sentence! Wouldn't that be a riot! [Stonewall moves closer to the camera. He is about done speaking, and his is ready for his closing statements.] Stonewall: Tito, LiveWire, Sam Natas, and Karl Davis, prepare yourselves. You've got three days to stew over my words, and get ready for a loss. Furthermore, all of you should prepare to be the first to lose, so maybe you'll go out looking sort of dignified. Knowing your types however, I seriously doubt that. It's been a long night. I'm out... [The recording from the camera is cut off. Stonewall stands up and walks back and out of the empty arena. He is sweating a little, but is satisfied.] Stonewall: (To himself) Well, I must say that went rather well... [Stonewall gets in the parking lot and drives back to his hotel along the way, at a stop light, he sees a couple walking side by side, enjoying their company. Stonewall drops his head to the steering wheel, but then quickly realises the light turned green. He goes back to his hotel, his great mood broken and somewhat saddened.] Alastor Stonewall