Having a talk with Mike Hunt, about a certain outlaw...

[Stonewall is standing next to senior WeWA Interviewer Mike Hunt. They are standing in front of a background obviously made for interviews. It says WeWA Chat on it, followed by a 'Hosted by Mike Hunt'. Mike is holding a microphone, and Stonewall stands there with his arms crossed. By his look, he is apparently not in the mood to deal with Mike Hunt, but has agreed to.]

Mike Hunt: Hello and welcome to another edition of WeWA Chat! This is my gue...

Stonewall: Did you know that WeWA Chat sounds really retarded? Sounds like some kind of talk show for the weak hearted.

Mike Hunt: Um... Anyway, my guest is Alastor Stonewall. He has agreed to do an interview with me.

Stonewall: Look man, but the bulls---. Just ask the questions, I am NOT in the mood for this! It's been a rough week for me, and if you keep it up, it will be one for you too!

Mike Hunt: Alright, geez. No reason to get all uptight. Alright, as we all know, your facing Eddy Outlaw on Thursday.

[Alastor Stonewall snaps out of his crappy mood at the mention of Outlaw's name. Stonewall is none too happy with Eddy's most recent words.]

Stonewall: Outlaw, there's a man who just doesn't know when to quit. This guy is running his line thin with his countless parody's and forcing me to sit through his uninspired rubbish along with gazing at that slut CC and idiotic dumdass Dakota Dave! I can't wait to get my hands on that Outlaw! He's going to learn what talent is all about come this Thursday.

Mike Hunt: Wow, I didn't see those comments coming. Anyway, I have a rather long list of questions and comments that I've prepared to talk to you about. Okay, first thing. Eddy Outlaw mentioned that you ARE as untalented as the likes of Dark Demon and Triple A. That you ARE denying your guilt and pose as a wrestler. What are your reactions to that?

Stonewall: It is quite simple Hunt. Eddy is jealous, plain and simple. Why would he try to convince me that I am untalented? Is it not obvious to him that I would never listen to his suggestions anyway? To be as untalented as Dark Demon, that is just plain impossible. I couldn't be that bad if I even tried Outlaw, although I wouldn't go so far as to make the same assumption about you Eddy. And as far as the guilt, I have told the world that I did nothing to Allison. It's your decision to not believe me, but I am saying with that I didn't do anything with an honest face. She will be there, I am sure of it, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Posing as a wrestler? That's a good one Eddy! Four straight wins in the WeWA really proves I am a poser. I should just pack up and go home, just cause Eddy said so! Hahaha!

Mike Hunt: Next thing. I am quoting Outlaw on this one, "It is people like you, Stonewall, that cause me the mild frustration that I feel everyday here in the WeWA...It is the no talented, over paid, and no brained people of the WeWA, with you now leading the pack, so to speak, that cause me to experience frustration..." Your thoughts?

Stonewall: I'm sorry I have been causing Outlaw mild frustration. His life has a blemish, an irritation, and ALL because of me! Boo hoo! There is no better suited word for you Outlaw than a pure, simple, "Loser". I don't need to even explain how unthought out that statement was, because it's not my fault you ignored me and had to make up a history about me just to make insults. I know life is hard Outlaw, but you don't need to let other's accomplishments get to you. It's only going to interfere in your own performance, and from what I've heard, it already has. Thursday is going to be easier than I thought!

Mike Hunt: Next, Eddy commented that it is not him who makes an ass out of you, he just emphasizes the points you make.

Stonewall: Hunt, did you enjoy making that comment?

Mike Hunt: Well I...

Stonewall: Well nothing! You just wanted an excuse to call me an ass! Watch it Hunt, you remember what happened the last time you pissed me off.

[Hunt clutches his gut in remembering the punch Stonewall gave him.]

Mike Hunt: Yes, I remember. But, will you comment on that statement Eddy made?

Stonewall: Whatever. Outlaw, I don't think I'm the one making an ass out of myself. I don't hang around with a guy named after a state, and I don't hang around with a girl named for her bra size. Just look at yourself, look at your own random comments, then you'll see just who the ass really is.

Mike Hunt: Strong statement Alastor.

Stonewall: Hunt, I hate suckups. I'm just letting you know that right now.

[Mike Hunt shudders a little, as he is becoming more intimidated by Stonewall.]

Mike Hunt: Y-Yes Stonewall. Anyway, Outlaw made a comment about you not seeing all the preparation that goes into his matches, and that after Thursday the aggression you hold will turn right back into depression.

Stonewall: Outlaw obviously does not know me, nor does he understand my shoulder's don't touch the mat. In my whole career, I have not been pinned. Not ONCE! I've been beaten twice, but both were not because of a pinfall or submission, it was because of some stupid aspect of a gimmick match. But, enough about the past. This is the present, and if my gut instinct is telling me the truth, I'll have yet another notch in my win column Thursday. And my gut instinct never lies Outlaw. So, if I were you, I'd prepare for a loss. A really bad one. That way, once you've stared up at the lights for three seconds, you can take your loss like a man, and not the wuss that I'm pretty sure will be present after I get the victory.

Mike Hunt: And then Outlaw said...

Stonewall: I know what he said Hunt, I did watch the promo. Basically, all you did was repeat yourself some more Outlaw. I will never come to the realization that You Are Better Than Me. Oh no, Mr. Outlaw. It would be much more like the opposite. And hopefully even YOU can grasp the concept of what opposite means. If I run from you on Thursday, and throw the match because of it, I will leave this federation. I make that statement because I sure as hell WON'T run from you. And as far as the fans paying your wages, yeah its true. And although you forgot that sponsers pay our wages as much as the fans do, I could care less. They are just mindless idiots cheering for guys like you. They don't understand true greatness, all they care for is the next anti-hero to come along. The average fan has gotten a lot dumber, and I take their money because I simply do not care about them. Let them waste their money when they could get a free viewing on TV, and results from the internet. It's their choice, not mine. Enough about that.

Mike Hunt: Alright, I'm going switch gears, and talk about Eddy Outlaw's Animated Enlightenment. He had an Allison imposter there, and I'm sure that you didn't take too kindly to his show. The first show had Dakota Dave dressed up as you talking to different people on the street.

Stonewall: Ah yes, the little escapade by Dakota. Do you think I'm impressed? Do you deserve an Oscar? Do you think I'm the least bit annoyed? The answer to all three questions is a resounding no. Dakota, your dirt. If it were up to me, you would be already be dead, lit on fire, and found on a pile of garbage. And Eddy, do you understand that I am well aware of the money that you pay to those so called random people to make those certain comments? Sam Natas sure as hell is a big offender of that, and I can't believe even someone like you is lowering himself to that level. Have you hit rock bottom Outlaw? Have you plummited to the bottom of your already shameful career? If you keep up with s--- like that, then maybe leaving the ring won't be a commodity, it would be more like a miracle. And your infatuation with Allison is really starting to humor me. I told you, your comments aren't worth anything to me, I just merely point out their flaws. And with the flaws piling up by the hundreds daily, my work has become just a little more personal. I hate ignorance, and because you seem to bond so well to that word Eddy, it will be all the more pleasurable taking you out Thursday.

Mike Hunt: How about the whole Dakota Does Allison fiasco?

Stonewall: Trash, pure trash Hunt. Man, that Dakota guy really needs to understand what beauty is, I can't believe he tried to get it on with that fat b----! That utterly disgusts me, and that Outlaw approves of it makes it all the more worse...

Mike Hunt: C'mon Alastor, I know that your mad at Allison for not listening to you, but to call her a fat b---- is just out of line!

Stonewall: ...

[Stonewall, completely stunned by the utter stupidity of Mike Hunt, smacks him upside the back of his head.]

Stonewall: Hopefully that will jump-start your small brain Hunt!

[Hunt rubs the back of his head.]

Mike Hunt: Sorry, of course you were referring to Elfie Fatzmus, what was I thinking. Continue.

Stonewall: I'm glad that fat slob slapped you silly Dakota. You needed a good snap back to reality after agreeing to be pissed and s---ed on? God, what kind of man are you? And Eddy, for shame. You really think you can impersonate Troy Flash? I'd like to see you try. Oh wait, you did. Troy doesn't talk about Enigma anymore. That was back in his VxW days, he's just Troy Flash now. "The Human Enigma" is merely a nickname, or are you too ignorant to see that? Then again, we are dealing with Eddy Outlaw here. Your a lost cause, a hopeless case. So, I have no choice but to terminate you Thursday. It's for your good, my good, and the good of the whole world. I normally don't act like the saving grace, but come Thursday, I guess I'll be changing roles. Eddy Outlaw, your time of reckoning is coming.

Mike Hunt: By the way Alastor, where is Troy Flash? I haven't seen him all week!

Stonewall: Last thing I heard was that he has having some troubles in his family, and that he needed to take care of that. However, that is not from Troy Flash himself, so I could be wrong. Don't worry, he'll be back soon enough, and then we'll be kicking ass together again like we always do.

Mike Hunt: Alright, thanks for clearing that up. Now, I'm pretty sure you heard the rest of what Outlaw had to say.

Stonewall: Yeah, some more mindless babbling from Dakota Dave, some spew from CC, and a nice little talk about what it means to be a sunset from Eddy Outlaw. First, Dakota. You've said more than enough to warrant a separate beating from me given to you. Being the lacky to Outlaw is bad enough, but then your little ass kissing charade to the established WeWA stars was just sickening. Your lips must be brown as soil from all that rump sucking you've been giving. You have absolutely no idea what it means to be successful, I mean, you hang around with Eddy Outlaw of all people. Get a life, and learn to like who you like, and not who your boss dictates you to like. Now, onto CC's comments. B----, whore, slut, douchebag, whatever you like to be called, you don't know what a true woman is. You mention a bunch of people who I've never heard of, and then say that Allison is weak just because she became, and to my knowledge still is, my girlfriend. No, that's just a wrong assumption, its exactly the opposite. She just jumped to conclusions, and when she understands the error she made, it will only make her stronger because of learning from her mistake. Now onto Eddy and his tirade on sunsets. You may cause a darkness because the sun is setting, but I just cause destruction in its purest form, because it is unprovoked. That is the nature of an avalanche, and just like a real avalanche, my AVALANCHE will be your end and the destruction of your career. On Thursday, you will succumb to the raw power and strength of my AVALANCHE, and there is nothing you can do about it, because you are that worthless, that pitiful, and that ignorant. Outlaw, you better get ready because You Will Be The Next To Fall To The Might... Of Alastor Stonewall!

[Stonewall tosses his microphone into the face of Mike Hunt, which gives a lot of static feedback. Stonewall walks out of the camera's view.]

Mike Hunt: But Stonewall, I'm not done yet. I still have a couple questions.

Stonewall: *Distant* Screw you Hunt, I'm outta here!

Mike Hunt: Well, that ends another edition of WeWA chat. I'm your host Mike Hunt, telling you to have a good day!

[The camera fades to darkness as Mike Hunt sits there staring blankly.]