Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens. --- Dangerous things chickens.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. --- It's strange; people keep thinking I'm a vampire. No! Don’t open the shade! *hiss*
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. --- Spice Girls. Tony Blair. Toad-in-the-hole. Clotted cream. Really, do I have to draw a picture here?
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. --- Well, it does qualify as a traumatizing experience doesn't it?
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor. --- The BO! The BO, it's following meee!
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks. --- Riiight Pops. Don't worry, we won't leet the Russians get you. Call the home, it's time for him to go.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity. --- It just keeps pulling! Why won't it stop?!
Blennophobia- Fear of slime. --- Don't worry; it's just the Blob family from next-door asking for a cup of sugar.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women. --- It's a super model, run in terror!
Chaetophobia- Fear of hair. --- Of course I'll date you, you just have to have a full body bath in Nair.
Chorophobia- Fear of dancing. --- All that twitching, of course it's dangerous!
Chronophobia- Fear of time. --- Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'... into my sock drawer!
Cnidophobia- Fear of stings. --- Oh god, not Every Breath You Take again!
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns. --- Stop laughing at me!
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer. --- ... Do you really want me to answer this one?
Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations. --- Dine with my family and you would too.
Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school. --- But... but I wouldn't be able to read joke files all day!
Dikephobia- Fear of justice. --- So just what have you been up to?
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. --- Anyone who'd create New York deserves to be feared and respected.
Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror. --- The vampire is back.
Eosophobia- Fear of dawn or daylight. --- Oh #@*&! Mom's gonna kill me!
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. --- You obviously don't remember high schoool. Be afraid, very afraid.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge. --- Ignorance is bliss.
Ergophobia- Fear of work. --- Heh... Don't we all.
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia) --- French Fries are the instruments of Satan!
Geniophobia- Fear of chins. --- Only when they come in more than one to a package.
Heliophobia- Fear of the sun. --- Ever seen Teletubbies? Flee before the burning baby head!
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology. --- Why are you reading this? Shouldn't you be running away or something?
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. --- Hah! Take that!
Hylophobia- Fear of forests. --- You just had to watch Blair Witch before going on that camping trip didn't you?
Koniophobia- Fear of dust. (Amathophobia) --- Mother-in-law is coming. Must clean obsessively.
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping. --- You might get stuck that way.
Liticaphobia- Fear of lawsuits. --- Would you like your coffee boiling hott? To go? Pull up to the window, please. Have a nice day.
Logophobia- Fear of words. --- Again, why are you reading this?
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters. --- Those beady black eyes, those cute little paws, just waiting to drag me under.
Macrophobia- Fear of long waits. --- You still use a 300 baud half duplex mmodem?
Maniaphobia- Fear of insanity. --- You’re mad I say! Mad!
Megalophobia- Fear of large things. --- Bigger than a breadbox?
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black. --- Run screaming from the scary Goths.
Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music. --- The Grammy’s weren’t that bad were they?
Microphobia- Fear of small things. --- Smaller than a breadbox?
Myxophobia- Fear of slime. (Blennophobia) --- What a pretty color for a carpet… wait, isn’t this a hardwood floor?
Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead
things. --- Braaaaaiinnsss…
Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother. --- Come on Snow, she’s not that bad, and you get all of the free apples you can eat!
Ochlophobia- Fear of crowds or mobs. --- Only when I’m up for the French national razor.
Olfactophobia- Fear of smells. --- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at. --- Oh my… What on earth is that on your face?
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes. --- Ever ridden with a student driver?
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything. --- You’re not getting out of this that easily.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th. --- Wait… what do you mean it’s Friday?
Patroiophobia- Fear of heredity. --- At least you can blame it on your pareents.
Pedophobia- Fear of children. ---
Just ask any parent. Shh, they might hear you!
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia) --- The universal terror.
Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine. --- Oh come on out Count, it isn’t like you’re going to go up in flames.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias. --- Are you masochistic or something? Or is this an elaborate torture technique?
Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians. --- Another universal fear emerges.
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple. --- No eggplant for you, eh?
Potophobia- Fear of alcohol. --- May I offer you something to drink? It’s fresh from the still!
Psychophobia- Fear of mind. --- I’m just afraid of psychos.
Radiophobia- Fear of radiation, x-rays. --- There in the sky! Is it a bird? A plane? Superman?! Quick get the lead shielding!
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows. --- Where is that groundhog anyway?
Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public. --- You never know when the random penmanship testing will begin.
Siderophobia- Fear of stars. --- My god… It’s full of stars…
Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives. --- … I have a feeling I might get in trouble for this one… so moving right along…
Tapinophobia- Fear of being contagious. --- Like, your personality or something?
Textophobia- Fear of certain fabrics. --- Well, there is this one woolly plaid…
Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia- Fear of poison or of being accidentally poisoned. --- Yummy mushrooms, right? Found ‘em in the basement, you’re my second taste-tester, the other one went ‘away’.
Tyrannophobia- Fear of tyrants. --- My TV controller… MINE!
Xenoglossophobia- Fear of foreign
languages. --- Ahh, amour. Ou terreur.
Xerophobia- Fear of dryness. --- Lotion, my kingdom for a bottle of lotion!
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat. --- Fear me, for I am a small squeaky rodent!
Source for phobia listing: http://www.phobialist.com/
Snippy/sarcastic comments
copyright M. Ferguson