Date: Tue Oct 26, 2004 3:43 pm
Subject: From Beslan - One heart at a time (Lynn Lansford)
I am Lynn Lansford, a mother of 8 children from
outraged and overwhelmed by the
tragedy in
the siege ended I knew I wanted to do something. I began collecting
1,000 stuffed animals and decided to go to Beslan to bring love,
encouragement, and friendship. It is an honor to be on this sacred
ground where the innocence of the world was lost to the terrorists who
thrive on fear.
I am writing this in the UCHCOM office in the wee hours of the
morning after a beautiful day with many of the children. Kenneth
Lockerman, Svetlana Golochkina and I gave a party for 25 children and
their mothers. When the children first entered very few smiled or
felt comfortable. They clung to each other and to their mother. We
served cake, ice cream, a Russian national pie, and soft drinks. We
told the children through a translator that they were heroes and that
American children care deeply about them. We told them that the
bears that we collected for them were bears filled with love, to be
with them in times of happiness and sadness, and that when they
cried, the bears would take away the tears. Love is greater than
fear, and that they must continue to love -because if they remain in
fear- then the terrorists will win. Many tears were shed, and then
the children received the bears. Laughter filled the room. How
incredible it was. We truly saw happy, fun children again. Svetlana
gave the children several cassette karaoke recorders with tapes and
we celebrated the birthdays that were lost in September.
It is important for Beslan to know the world, even though a dangerous
place- still remains basically good and the hearts of the world are
with them. Only then will the healing begin. I will use my time
here to honor those who died and love those who remain. This my only
agenda, one of peace from Americans and mothers everywhere.
Date: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:07 pm
Subject: Burned into their brains forever - The first responders of Beslan by Lynn Lansford
The first responders in Beslan are still in shock after six weeks.
He is a burly man who has the face of a frightened child. This first
responder was at the school at the beginning of the siege fully aware
that his brother, sister-in-law, and two children were inside.
Choking through tears and barely speaking he told us in simple words
of how he pulled out the bodies of children, their classmates and
neighbors as he could get to them. At the site where the bodies were
taken to be identified, he found the bodies of his brother and
nephew. Barely able to speak he told us of pulling pieces of his
sister-in-law, as well of the many body parts of his neighbors. One
child, the four year old son of his brother lived.
In a small two room home this first responder, his young wife, and
two children are the only family left to care for his brother's four
year old son who saw everything. This once strong Russian man is un
able to talk about what he saw. He is unable to support his family
emotionally or financially. His wife is overwhelmed with a distraught
husband who is psychologically traumatized. Her two other
children and the sad little boy who lives in a shell trying to
understand what life has done to him. The pain is visible and
tangible in this newly formed family of five.
Each day first responders and police go to what is left of Middle
School Number One to grieve. They light candles, bring flowers,
drink water, and fall to their knees inside the gym. They leave in
sobbing tears.
The streets of Beslan are quiet and many people stay dressed in black
and remain indoors behind locked doors. Crying can be heard from
behind lace curtains flowing in cracked open windows. The police
wipe away tears as they watch and wait and protect those left behind.
They repeat the same prayer over and over: "please God don't let it
ever happen again".
Date: Sat Oct 30, 2004 2:31 pm
Subject: last night
in Beslan by
Tonight is my last night in Beslan and I am overwhelmed with
emotions. I have over 11 hours of interviews taped and have taken
over 200 photos - which have already been posted on the site by
Svetlana. I have hugged hundreds and have cried with others. I’ve
seen children whose parents have taken them to doctors because they
could not respond - light-up and laugh for the first time after
attending one of the parties. The change was immediate when love
and soft stuffed animals were given.
I've stepped in the footsteps of the terrorists and have said silent
prayers in their deadly murder rooms. I've touched the blood stained
walls where terror won. I hugged a police officer in tears. I held a
crying sixteen year old girl at the grave of her friend. I've placed
teddy bears on every child’s grave and have looked at bullet holes in
walls and bodies. I've held distraught mothers who have lost entire
families, and have no reason to live. I've seen big Russian men
unable to speak and grandmothers in black scream into the night. All
I can do and all I came to do is to hold them, love them, and let
them know that someone shares their anguish.
In this small town Beslan is in pain, it always will be, but for the
few days we were here- we brought hope , encouragement, laughter, and
friendship...which no amount of money could buy. I leave here more
changed than I have left change here. From mother to mother I have
given peace, one heart to another, I have made lifelong friends. We
will never be the same.
As I come home the hard work begins. I am putting it out to the
universe to help me tell the stories, in the form of a film or a book
with the money going to the children of Beslan. May God help us all.
Shalom.