deletion.. yes, I deleted that last blog... I knew I would eventually, tho it took a lot longer then I thought it would... but those  feelings have faded and i just didnt want to be mad about it anymore.



I've had a great week. The kids have been here and we've done alot together,  met new friends and just had a wonderful time.  Christmas was amazing.. everything I'd hoped, and work didnt even suck so bad.  Well, it did, but I didnt notice as much.  This next week, especially new years eve, will be very telling.



The best news tho is I finally get a vacation, with the job change and everything over the last year I pretty much worked the whole year without  a vacation last year... so I will finally get a week off middle of january.. really looking forward to it, going to go down and visit the folks and family.



very excited.



there are other things I am very excited about, new paths and new choices to make.   It feels great to be feeling and living again, i've had enough of being numb, feeling hurt and betrayed.  Of course there is always a chance when you open up again that you open yourself up to the possiblilty of being hurt again... but.. whats worse ??  being hurt for living or not living at all because you dont want to be hurt.



i'd rather live.