HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)=20
1.
She is not a BABE or a CHICK
- She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
-she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY
- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB
- She
is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND
- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIR HEAD
- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
- She is SURGICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU
- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT
- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE
- She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. He does not have a BEER GUT
- He has developed a GRAIN ALCOHOL STORAGE FACILITY
2. He is not a BAD DANCER
- He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
- He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING
- He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
- He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
- He has SWINE EMPATHY
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
- He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY
- He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED