Diary Excerpts from a Dog and Cat
Excerpts
from a DOG'S Daily Diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts
from a Cat's Daily Diary
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not
working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More
importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is
routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit.
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room, his safety is assured, but I can wait, it's only a matter of
time...