COMMUNISM WILL CONSUME YOU
7/7/99 to 7/11/99
Original motion picture screenplay
Soundtrack available on Geffen Records
In theaters August 30th

[ Well, it is finally done…..if you don’t go to school with us you really wouldn’t know the characters in the story so let me give you a brief introduction to the main characters………
Jason Fuqua- he is one of the three heroes and is a skinny white boy from Wyoming but now lives in Valdosta, GA, his mortal enemy is Mr. Wilson, who one day was coming on to him….long story
Neil Kumar- The second person in the trio, he is  funny as hell and a real person…um….yeah, that’s it.
Ed Duarte- Another one of those damn kids who don’t follow what the teachers tell them, he hates Jerry Falwell and lives in New Mexico I think (am I supposed to know?) and he used to go to the same school as Jason and Neil. ]

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(Intro. - Wilson’s office)
-Wilson reading military portfolio-

General- As you can see, Principal Wilson all is in order with Operation Pig-Fuck, with your help both sides will benefit greatly.... The American government will posses the means to an advanced form of Biological weaponry and your school will be able to refurbish you...weight room 	and finally gain the clout to scout promising athletes ... allowing you to 	have a.... respectable athletic program!
Wilson- I'll tell ya General this is turning out to be a beautiful relationship
(General looks with confusion)
General- wel..Uhmm...yes, Mr. Wilson you are doing your country a great 	service and I must commend you on that.... Well if there isn't anything else 	, I must be go....
Wilson- oh you don't have to sweet talk me honey.... We’re already sleeping in the same bed...uhm... metaphorically speaking.
General- Well...uhm yes... alright... as I was saying before Mr. Wilson I have to be...
Wilson- oh you ...Mr. Wilson seems so formal.... (Leans forward, places hand on general’s hand)...you can call me Scott.

(Kick ass animation - opening credits-)

The setting is in a senior class in Valwood Private School.  A very unpopular teacher by the name of Paulk, known for inability to reach out to students and find a common ground lectures in her usual boring manner. The subject is on an assigned book that no one has taken the time to read. Our story begins with three unlikely heroes, who discuss in a very astute and poient fashion the intricacies and importance on the subject at hand

Paulk- can anyone tell me the importance of the symbolism in Billy Budd.
Ed (to Neil and Jason)- did you guys read this piece of crap?
Neil- me read, no way
Jason- um…let me see…hell no!
Paulk- what was that Mr. Fuqua?
Jason- I wasn’t talking to you
Paulk- then maybe you should go talk to Mr. Wilson
Jason- anything would be better than this class (to Neil and Ed) see you guys later
Neil and Ed- OK, good luck
Neil (to Ed)- see, I told you this bitch is fucked up
Ed- yeah, what’s her problem?
Paulk- OK, now that we no longer have people disturbing our class we can continue with our discussion.  Can anyone make a definite parallel to the main character Billy and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ of Nazareth (there is no movement or sounds, then Alex Carpenter raises his hand)
Paulk- yes Alex, do you have a question or ...perhaps a statement that could further validate my theory that great literature is simply a reinterpretation of the Bible
Alex- um….uh…may I use the restroom mam?
Paulk- why didn’t you go before class?
Alex- sorry…mam, but I didn’t need to go before class
Paulk- then I’m sorry, but the new rule says I can’t let you go unless it is an emergency or unless Jesus the son of god and our Savior...who by the way was from Nazareth told you in a vision that you should use the restroom.
Alex- um…mam….ahhhh. I really need to go.
Paulk- sorry but I think you are just saying that, you can hold it.
Alex- ahhh…. Eww…. uhggg!!!!(Alex proceeds to wet his pants…and continues to grunt and moan)
Paulk- well, Alex….I guess you’ll have to go and get yourself cleaned up in the restroom, you can go now.
Alex- thank you mam….sorry for any trouble (leaves the room with a streak of piss across the floor)
Ed- I can’t believe that she just did that.
Neil- I know, what a complete bitch
Ed- I wonder how Jason’s doing.
Neil- I bet he’s in deep shit, Mr. Wilson is a complete jackass.
(The bell rings and the kids head to their next class)

Jason is just arriving at Mr. Wilson’s office (he is the headmaster at Valwood School and is known to be a complete jackass and thought to be gay) Jason walks into the room and is surprised by Wilson’s immediate kindness.

Wilson - welcome Mr. Fuqua, why were sent here today?
Jason- I really don’t know
Wilson - Well it is awfully nice to be seeing you today! You know Jason you children are my life.
Jason- Hey, are you coming on to me or something...'cause I’m not here for sex man I’m just here 'cause that horse's ass.... I mean Mrs. Paulk didn't like my attitude. I tell ya Scott that bitch is really crampn' my style.... After all I gots ta look like a playa around the ladies...but you wouldn't know anything about that would ya.
Wilson - hmmm I understand your predicament... after all you're not a child anymore and you must being going through some awfully confusing times right now. Heck.... I bet your even got some questions about Sex.
Jason- Uhmmm.... Actually Mr. Wilson I don't have any quest... (Wilson pulls out a chart of a naked woman).... Uhhh can I go now, I’ll just tell Mrs. Paulk you gave me a stern warning!
Wilson - (No longer listening to Fuqua) Jason... the female form is a lot like a car.... With a little maintenance and some money you be sure for great night on the town 
Jason- So Mr. Wilson what is the going rate for the run of the mill CRACK Whore 
Wilson - Well, Jason their really is no set rate when it come to a “CRACK” (stresses) whore, it all depends on just how desperate they are for mon.... uhmmm what i meant to say is that being a married man and a devout Christian I wouldn’t have the slightest idea about prostitutes

_________Uncomfortable moment of Silence_________...bell rings
Jason- Mr. Wilson its time for my next class
Wilson - well, then off you go and not a word of this to the other children.... Let’s keep this little conversation between you and me
(Wilson places his hand on Fuqua’s shoulder)
Jason- (sarcastically) uhnmmm... Mr. Wilson I love to stay here and have sex with you but being that I’m not gay and you’re a married man I think it best that I leave.
Wilson - well of course (Jason leave Wilson’s office...Wilson sticks head out of door) Remember not a word

Jason returns to his next class, ___History___, where Neil and Ed are sitting next to each other in the back of the room.  Before he can make his way to the back and sit down, Mr. McDicker, (a fucking redneck prick) stops him in front of the class.

McDick- what do you think you are doin sonny boy?
Jason- I’m going to my seat
McDick- where’s your pass boy
Jason- I didn’t get one
McDick- then I’ll have to send you to Mr. Wilson
Jason- but, I just….
McDick- no excuses boy, now git goin
Jason- (as leaving) dammit!!!
Neil- the way this is going he’s never going to class again
Ed- yeah, who the fuck does this redneck think he is
Neil- a fucking pig fucker, that’s what (Ed and Neil both begin to laugh)
McDick- what was that boys?, maybe you want to see Mr. Wilson too, now scat.
(Ed and Neil leave the room and catch up to Jason who is on his way to scooters office)
Jason- hey guys
Ed and Neil- hey
Ed (looking at the street) what’s that military jeep doing here?
Neil- fuck if I know
(They go into the office and notice that Wilson’s door is ajar, they peek in)

(From within)-----
General _Peter Manuel- (name anyone, something funny)- is everything going as scheduled
Wilson - yes general, everything is in place and we have selected five students for testing

General- what are the names and descriptions of the students you plan to test on?
Wilson - Bucky Shiver, he’s a good student and people hate him---Alex carpenter, he’s fat and doesn’t meet our physical standards---Neil Kumar and Ed Duarte, they are both…um…of unwanted race---and Jason Fuqua, the little dipshit who knows too much!
General- ah, a good group to test on, this will make your school look more uniform and CLEAN from unwanted trash.
Wilson - that was what I was thinking, after the students are gone our great school will be the best in the state.
General- and I get what I want, how is the chemical production going?
Wilson - Mr. McDicker and some of his relatives have already begun producing mass quantities and I think they have enough for 10 people, but there have been side effects.
General- what is that, can it be used to our advantage
Wilson - the animals have been producing mutant offspring, they have been growing at a remarkable pace, and some have escaped.
General- we will try to dispose of this problem; you just continue the production and inform me of the testing.
Wilson - yes sir, I think we will both become very rich after this
General- how are you going to inject the test subjects without any suspicion
Wilson- we have found a procedure to infect them through the eyes, in a gaseous form.
General- excellent, keep me posted. (He starts leaving, and the 3 kids run out of the building and into the parking lot between cars.)

The kids are in the parking lot talking about what they had seen in the office.

Jason- don’t you guys think we should warn Alex and Bucky about what will happen
Neil- No it is better that Bucky doesn’t know...he’s fragile and Alex well Alex like cats.
Ed- What the fuck does that mean...
Neil - it’s an enigma trapped in a puzzle!
Ed- an enigma is a puzzle!
Neil- EXACTLY
ED - we better not tell anyone, the more people that the more likely it is that scooter and that general will get wind of this, and then we’re fucked!
Jason- I guess your right, so now what do we do
Neil- we need to be ready for anything
Ed- yeah, what were they talking about?
Neil- it sounded like they are making some kind of chemical and testing it on valwood students
Ed- and those fucking pricks don’t like Muslims
Jason- or anybody who doesn’t fit their policy on perfection, damn ass licking dildos
Ed- the fucking white trash should die
Neil- yeah, damn straight...did you guys see Alley mcBeal last night
Jason-.... Oh yeah it was something.... I think tomorrow we should stick together and stay away from the teachers
Neil- yeah, anyone could be in on this, and what were they saying about Mr. McDicker?
Ed- I think something about him creating the chemical with animals, what does that mean?
Jason- just think of what he could possibly do with an animal
Ed- well, we know he’s a damn redneck
Neil- he fucks them, and so does the rest of the Deep South.
Ed- Neil that’s an awfully stereotypical thing to say.... Why some of this countries greatest minds call the Deep South their home.... And when you so routinely generalize them as many here generalizes people of different races, gender, a religious backgrounds, then you’re only sinking to their level
Jason- but slamming rednecks is fun.
All- yeah, hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Neil- lets meet at my house
Jason and Ed- OK

They are at Neil’s house, but first cutscenes are shown of Alex and buckys with agents knocking on the door and entering their houses.  They 3 are on a couch watching a porn movie and talking.  Then they hear a knock.

Neil- so what do you guys…(a knocking on the door)
Ed- don’t answer that
Jason- it could be one of them…from the school
(Suddenly the door is broken down, 2 men in black come in the room)
man- which one of you is Neil Kumar?
Neil- go fuck yourself
Man- kid, it’s OK. This won’t hurt a bit…just a visine sample we want you to try
Man2- yeah it will get the red out
Ed- why don’t you to go fuck yourselves
Jason- yeah, get the hell out you faggots
(The men draw silenced pistols with laser sights and pint them at Jason and Ed, but then a mutated pig runs in and mauls the agents in a horrifying way, Neil, Ed, and Jason run and get the hell out)

It is the next day at school they were walking to their first class, Mrs. Paulk’s, they meet Alex and bucky in the hall and their eyes are very dilated.

Alex- hey guys, what’s up?
Ed- what happened to your eyes
Alex- well some guys came buy with free visine samples, so I took them
Neil- look at bucky, his eyes are the same
Jason- yeah, remember what they were talking about in the office?
Ed- yes, this must be part of their plan, whatever it is.
Neil- let’s get to class before superbitch gives us more shit
Ed- just remember to stick together, the damn cunt could be in on it
Jason- wouldn’t surprise me; she has always been close with Mr. Wilson
Ed- yeah, but he’s a fag, that doesn’t make any sense
Neil- unless she’s a…man
Jason- yeah, that would explain a lot
Ed- like what
Neil- maybe her damn leg hair and how she acts around men
(Paulk starts to teach)
Paulk- OK class, I hope you read the book, because now for a quiz
(Alex starts to vibrate and then he just explodes in a bloody mess)
Paulk- Alex, do you need to use the restroom again?
(Show the bloody corpse for a few seconds with blood running on the floor)
(Bucky raises his hand)
Paulk- yes?
Bucky- I need to use the restroom
Paulk- OK, you may go
(As buck walks across the room he starts to shake and then he explodes and parts fly all over the chalkboard.)
Ed- shit
Neil- that must be what that shit they put in their eyes does
Jason- we need to stop them before they kill everyone
(They leave the class and all go to Neil’s house)
ED- He just blew up... like a god damn piñata.... It’s like what my Pops said NAM was like!
Neil- Your dad went to Vietnam?
ED- Naw man.... But he saw the movie Platoon 9 times, it fucked him up
Jason- shit ... I had no idea
Neil- yeah man, me neither…. I’m sorry.

_________As the three reflect on the tragedy they had witnessed, all is not well at Valwood----

(Wilson’s office)
Wilson- Damn it colonel.... You promised me... swore on the flag that my kids would die outside of the school.... Don’t you realize now the police will link their murder to us!!!!.... Sometimes I think you military types think too much with your Dick!
General- first off I am a GENERAL... okay A GENERAL... secondly the government has supreme reign...
Wilson- wow, like the Klan!
General-.... Okay yeah like the Klan... wait a minute do you know anybody in the Klan? My people have been trying to get them involved in this pig fucking deal....
Wilson - uhmm the Klan would be a good mix of people in this operation unfortunately they are very narrow minded when it come to animal sex.... Only sheep fuckers apply...I guess that’s why I never made it in that club
General- oh yeah and because your gay
Wilson- yes and because I’m ga..... Hey I’ll have you know I’m a married man.
General- So
Wilson- well, us married folk don’t fuck around
General- but I thought you had sex with pigs?
Wilson- oh that’s different.... You see general, a man fucks his wife...he fucks his brother and law... hell he even fuck his dead aunt...but a man doesn’t fuck a pig... a man make love to a pig he enjoys it... he revels in the act of copulation he...
General- Well that’s just beautiful unfortunately I have to be going... Their things I need to blow up
Wilson- well you gotta do what you gotta do
(Next day Wilson addresses student body)

Wilson- We will all miss BUCKY and....uhmmm (looks at note on Podium) Alex.... But let’s remember one thing.... That this incident was an accident and in no way is the school involve in some elaborate scheme with the government...oh no i’ve said too much (whispers to himself) I’ve said to much (yells) -------WILSON Blows up--- the audience gasps
(Paulk hurries to podium)
Paulk- will every one please calm down  (motions to McDicker)
Paulk-will you please welcome Mr. JAR JAR BINKS
(Jar Jar waddles in)
JarJar- messa jar Jar binks herya to tell ya kids thad drwugs is bad an-a kill ya..

Jason- what the fuck is he saying
Neil- I think he’s one those up with people foreigner.
Jason- I don’t know he kinda looks like ...like a dinosaur
Ed- NO MAN (extremely agitated) no he ain’t no dinosaur...he’s a tool of the oppressor !!!! (YELLS IT ALOUD) HE’S A GOD DAMN Racist!!!!!!!! 
Jarjar- Hey yousa gotta some of the beef with a jar Jar huh mon...?
Ed- ENOUGH with this over the top Jamaican accent...but you shall pay George Lucas, and you will with the blood of jar Jar binks!

ED rushes stage and tackles Jar Jar -reminiscent of his old football days-)

(Cut to us walk away from school)
Jason- wow Ed that was some display
Neil- yeah you really fuck up JAR JAR
Ed- yeah they said the don’t think he’ll walk anymore...and he’ll probably have to eat through a tube for the rest of his life
Jason- ahh well what you gonna to do
Neil- you could send him flowers
Jason -yeah have it say “ From the guy who almost killed you”
(Cut to Wilson’s office)
General- Mrs. Paulk you are the only other person aware of this operation I hope you can follow through where Wilson failed, that gay bastard just didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut...do you think you can handle it...
Paulk- I’ll do it

(Cut to newspaper that reads” Falwell to speak to students of valwood”)

(Gym- Falwell on podium)

Falwell- I’d like to thank your new principal for giving me this forum.... After hearing of two students mysteriously blowing up, then your principal suffering a similar fate, I knew this was the result of teenage violence brought on by the excessive use of violent videogames! But what truly appalled me was this vicious beating of Jar Jar Binks, the beloved star wars character.... What you kids should be worried about isn’t Jar Jar but tinky winky... Homosexuality is the real scourge on our society not rascim..The bible says homosexuality is sin....
(Voice drones off---falwell continues to speak--- we have conversation during assembly)

Ed- yeah and I say your fat hate filled toad
Jason- You know I heard the theory that most homophobic to the degree falwell is in are just closet gay....
Neil- like Wilson
Jason well yeah except he didn’t know about the closet... Wilson was pretty obvious

 (Cut to close up of falwell)

-Falwell’s inner monologue- what am I saying... man sometime I...I.... Who am I fooling I like Dick... damn it I like Dick... its a god damn obsession why must the lord torture me like this... why must being gay be a sin.... Oh well Jerry what the hell your making money hand over fist and all those young boys who go on your Christian retreats provide you with all the ass you need...I am yours to command oh evil one! 

...(Suddenly falwell inner thoughts enter the realm of fantasy)---
Dream sequence (it’ll be the hardest fucking thing to do)
----Falwell wandering aimlessly through the clouds...turning in circles, lost yet enjoy the environment around him---
--Enter bed with tinky winky on it, Tinky looks at Falwelll and actions him to come to the bed—
--Falwell runs to the bed, eager as hell—
Falwell- I’ve been waiting for this, for a long time... I’ve loved since the first time I saw your face..
(Tinky puts its finger towards its mouth, as if to say he need not explain.... Falwell would get the hottest sex of his life.... And he wouldn’t have bullshit his way into it)
(Action falwell kissing tinky on the bed... tinky's face is motionless, but its arm is rubbing falwell's back.)
----Cut to assembly scene... Falwell is no longer talking his eyes are close and he his making a kissy face...people stare in confusion...he begins to climax...when he cums (we don’t have to indicatethis with any bodily fluid or sound) he says “ ahhhh I blew your fucking mind didn’t I bitch” he opens his eye...and says 
Falwell-...well uhh... as I was saying...uhm what was I saying Mrs. Paulk
Paulk- (in a state of confusion and disbelief, yet in a timely fashion) uhmmm... you said ‘ ohh yeah baby... you like it in the butt don’t ya... yeah who’s your daddy..Uhh who’s your daddy? And then it got nasty.
Falwell- uhhhhh (scared of this revelation).... -----Looks toward bleacher far right----- (Falwell squints eyes) Oh no its you...it can’t be. How ...how did you find me... non no nNOOOOOOO
(Show tinky winky with sniper rifle in far right bleachers)
(Shoots falwell in the head falwell falls to the floor)
(Two men in white jump suits drag his body off stage) 
(Cut to boys)
Ed- well that was pointless
Jason- yeah videogames causing violence whom ever heard of a thing
Neil- yeah really.... Hey let’s go to my house and kill something

-----Scene changes to a farm where there are rows of rednecks fucking pigs in the asses.  Mrs. Paulk watches and stands in command of the procedure.  After they are done fucking, some scientists collect something from the ass and put it in a jelly jar.  Then they load it in trucks.

(Paulk is standing next to Mr. McDicker)
Paulk- so this is how you get your chemical weapon?
Mcdick- yee haw!!!, ain’t it jes great
Paulk- it seems a little strange, but in a weird way I like it
Mcdick- woo doggy!! I jes git finished makin’ about 6 gallons of dat der stuff, but now I have something like a saddle sore on my parts.
Paulk- (yelling at fuckers) Work harder dammit, we need 1000 gallons for tomorrow

(One of the rednecks pulls out and says he can’t stand much more, then an agent walks up and shoots him in the head)

Paulk- see, there are no excuses for insolence
Redneck- yee haw, oh yeah….you like that bessy….who’s your daddy…oh yea…. Long grunt (then he passes out)
Paulk- that is the kind of determination we are looking for men, keep it up
(A scientist walks up and sticks a vacuum hose in the pig’s ass and extracts a liquid into a jelly jar)
Scientist (to paulk) mam, we now have enough for the military demand, should we tell the men that they can stop now?
Paulk- no…I love to watch this stuff.
(A truck full of chemical takes off)

(inside Neil’s house, the kids are watching an episode of south park, with Cartman on the screen)
Jason- so, what do you guys think we can do about this
Ed- we need to stop the fuckers somehow
Neil- but the three of us can’t stop the whole military
Ed- we need to think of something
Jason- we will need some help
Neil- but who? anyone could be in on it
Ed- I think I know who (Ed gets out a phonebook and turns to the yellow pages)
Ed- here look (point to an ad for a sushi restaurant)
Neil- what food, how the fuck could that possibly help 
Ed- no, a sushi restaurant usually is filled with japs, and those squints sure can fight
Jason- he’s right, with some help like that we could stand a chance

(Enters sushi hut)
Jap girl- Hello you come for 3.99 sushi buffet
Ed- no no...We here for something else...you know the other service you provide
Jap girl- oh you come for ASIAN MASSAGE eye...heheheeee
Neil - No
Jason- yes we come for massage heheeeee
Neil- No we come here for...I mean we've come here to see Meso... 
Jap girl- Meso (hesitates) we no have no Meso get out!
Ed- listening toots you got two options either you take us to meso or i'll go there myself
Jason- what kind of threat is that?
Neil- I don't know...I just don't know
(Uncomfortable pause)
- Screen says 40 minutes later-
Jap girl- Damn you silly Americans and your evil staring abilities fine I take you to Meso

(Cut to backroom)
-Door opens Jap girl enter, while Meso and Mafia play poker---
Meso -wha.... Who are thee people...? Shit ho didn't I tell you bring no visitor back here?
(Meso shoots Jap bitch in head)
Jason- boy these Japs sure are rough
Neil- yeah just like what they did to our boy back in WW2... man makes you wish we still had those interment camps
Meso -- who you call Japs
Ed- They like to be called Asian Americans
Meso - I’m not no American pig
Ed- listen meso I’d rather lick the sweat off of a dead man's taint than deal with likes of you.... But we got trouble and you’re our only hope.
Meso you fellas have mighty large balls comn' here with an attitude like that!
Jason - yeah gigantic balls.... The size of basketballs
Meso- wow! That’s pretty big
Ed- meso there is a farm of pig fuckers and we think they’re using them for biological weapons...
Meso- Biological!!! Wow... what the hell do I care
Ed- well, I don't know... I figure Japanese mafias were just lookn' for an excuse to kick some ass
Meso- yeah it usually like that but hell we be gettn' to involved in personal conflicts like this... I mean there comes a time when you just gotta calm the fuck down with all this macho bull shit....
Jap- Boss you better take a look at this

(Turn to television)
Ted Koppell- The president has issued an emergency address regarding Wyoming and every Muslim country 
(White House press room)
Clinton- My fellow Americana I have decided as acting commander in chief that America will have a full-scale biological war with all Muslim countries and Wyoming.
Reporter- Mister president... this seems to be quite an irrational decision why this attack
Clinton- well I feel that Americans hate Muslims so why the hell not...and Wyoming what the hells in Wyoming... cows
Reporter2- Mr. President isn't Wyoming full of Americans being that it's a state and all
Clinton- oh yeah well I guess I officially declare Wyoming a separate entity...hell i declare it a Muslim country
Report- Mr. president I have follow up question on you being irrational
Clinton- shoot
Reporter3- why aren't you wearing any pants
Clinton- uhhmmmmm I’m afraid I don’t have a good solid answer for that one!
(Cut to koppel)
Ted Koppel- you heard it Clinton declare strike on Muslim countries and Wyoming, now we go to our correspondent in Washington DC, carrot top…carrot top, what is going on there?
Carrot- well Ted, behind me you can see the warheads about to be deployed to several parts of the Middle East, ahh…here’s one now about to launch. (A missile starts to smoke and flame)
Carrot- I have these earmuffs I invented to muffle the sound…. Ha…ha…ha, they are also back scratchers, and can tie your shoes…ha.ha.ha, (the sound of crickets)
	(Carrot top hits a button and the machine goes wild, and shreds him up in a violent mess)
(Then, before the missile can launch a huge mutant pig knocks over the missiles and they explode in a yellowish cloud.  After the smoke clears you can see two agents covering their eyes---the all of a sudden they explode—but first yell out “SHIT!!!!!”)
(Japs confer with one another0
 Meso- will help you guy out
Ed- why?
Meso - I got family in Wyoming... let's fuck those Pig fuckers

(Cut to far scene)

Meso- well we're here what now?
-Boys confer--
Ed- so what you guys think
Neil- we should scout the place out first!
Jason - yeah, find a weakness and exploit it.
Ed--I'll tell meso our plan!
Neil- too late (points to meso and crew) they already ran off to fight those military types
(Fight scene --- they both are killing each other--)
Jason Let's just wait here Meso is a professional 
Neil and Ed -okay
_Screen reads 15 minutes later-
(We’re playing spades behind the tree we're hiding in)    -----------maybe we should have a different game?
Neil- fuck this game sucks ...what the fuck ever happened to Meso
Jason – who?…oh yeah…lets see

(Look out from the tree to see sea of carnage)
Ed- wow they're all dead
Neil- lets go and blow up this shit hole
Jason- okay... got the dynamite
(We set up explosives when all of a sudden Mrs. paulk lurks from the shadows)
Ed- Mrs. Paulk my mortal enemy... the woman who for as long as I can remember has wanted me.... But did allow the beast to get inside of me hell no
Jason- Ed that isn't much of an accomplishment...after she looks like a horse's ass
Neil- really you think so I always felt she beared a striking resemblance to Henry Kissenger
Ed-Kissenger... that fat bastard even Paulk doesn't compare to that despicable kiss ass
Paulk- who are you calling a kiss ass
(Paulk rips her mask off to reveal her true identity)
Jason-Oh my God its Henry Kissenger
Neil- You bastards
Jason- Bastards?
Neil uh...it felt like the right thing to say.
Ed- well I guess I was wrong about paul...I mean kissneger.... Oh I'm confused

Kissenger (monotone voice) -maybe I can explain it in a song?!
All three- Oh yes!!!
kissenger- For years I was a Lackey...A mere push over to every Nixon whim... and sure I got me the pussy...but still i had a hole within. .... What would give me pleasure...POWER...I need power. POWWWER I NEEDED POWEERR...(suddenly cut off) ---Announcer -" ladies and gentleman the Backstreet boys"
"I don't care who are...where you’re from ...as long as you love me...cont.
Jason- Man backstreet blows... bring back kissenger
ED- yeah ...boooooo boooooo
Neil- hey I don't know guys...its got a beat.
Jason and Ed look at me in horror
Neil- yeah...but it sucks ass though
Kissenger-Damn you Backstreet boys with your killer looks and snazzy dance moves.... Trying to steal my thunder!!! hah haa...WELL KNOW BODY FUCKS WITH KISSENGER EXCEPT HENRY KISSENGER’S wife or a young impressionable bikini model!
 EAT LEAD you bastards!!!!!

(Kissenger lets loose with a Tommy gun killing all the members of the boy band!)
Unfortunately hitting the explosives…looks at the screen and says “oh fuck!!” before the explosives blow everything sky-high!!

_Scene--- AFTER THE STORM

(In a haze Ed appears crawling through the rubble
Ed- you guys okay?
Jason-yeah-
Neil- yeah me too.... Kissenger didn't make it though....
Ed- he wasn't a bad guy just misunderstood I guess
Neil-guys I can't feel my legs
Jason- Man YOU AIN"T GOT NO LEGS
ED- I'm FREAKN' OUT OVER HER I 'm FREAKN' out

(Suddenly a figure appears through the smoke... its JAMES)
James- hey guys it me James from Canada
THREE OF US- hello James
James- (looks around) Well, what's all this aboot!
Three of us- ABOOT?....HAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAA

End with Surfing music --------I don’t know about surfing music, I have a good primus song for the credits, it has some good music.

			=====----==-=--=--==THE END==--=--====---=--==-===-

In Memory of Stanley Kubrick

---Credits---

Director---                        	 Neil Kumar
Executive producer---     	Ed Duarte

Screenplay by  Neil Kumar and Jason Fuqua

Casting director---	Jason Fuqua

Based on a story be Jason Fuqua

Key Grip---		Neil Kumar
Best Boy—		the one with the beer
Penis---      		(_))======D
Vagina---		(0)

Gaffer-                               hmmmmm

This movie is a cultivation of not mere half ass work...in this FILM there is a lot of blood, a lot of sweat, and a whole lot of tears... There were some that didn’t want this controversial film created some who tried to openly sabotage the creation of it.... All we wanted to do was tell a story... and when it come down to it...all the booze, all the money, and all the women can’t live up to the sense of accomplishment this film gave us that.... So to the power that be and to all our detractors, we’d like to say...”thank you”...and why you ask, well... people like us feed off your bullshit, off the lies you pour for the sake of your own personal gain.... We feed and grow stronger... In the end we are all just ants trying to make it in this colony of ours... those of us who fuck around and don’t keep our business in check get there due justice... as in the words of Nikita Sergeyevich Kruschev , 
“ Communism will consume you”... this is for you my fallen comrade

Catering by our mommies
Color by Technicolor

								© copyright 1999