rohitsz2@Y:Quotes

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - IBM Chairman Thomas Watson, 1943.

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." -Pablo Picasso

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes." - Edsger Dijkstra

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell."

"It's not just a computer - it's your ass." - Cal Keegan

"It reminds me of the claim that Americans built the first computer... It depends on what properties are necessary for a device to be classed as a computer: That it's electronic? That it has Randomly Accessible Memory? That it operates on a stored program? I am tempted to suggest that one of the requirements implicit in some people's lists is that it was built in America."

"A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy" - Joseph Campbell

"How the mind works is still a mystery. We understand the hardware, but we don't have a clue about the operating system." - James Watson

"Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax." - Zalman Stern

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." - Mitch Ratcliffe

"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"

"Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain ??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, the whole building darkened!" - Simon Travaglia(the B.O.F.H.).

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." - Andy Rooney

"Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions" - Laurent Gasser

"Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women." - Lord Kelvin

"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." - Douglas Adams

"Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist." - F. L. Bauer

"Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs." - Glaser and Way

"Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers" - Tom Lehrer

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary."

"If you torture the data enough, it will confess" - Ronald Coase

"A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do" - Dennis M. Ritchie

"Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later" - F. Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month

"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error" - Weisert

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."

"Perfection is achieved not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." - Fred Brooks

"I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck." - Rob Pike (commenting on the X Window System)

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt

"Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies." - Bill Bulko

"If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong." -Norm Schryer

"If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan." - Alan J. Perlis

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

"Premature optimization is the root of all evil" - C. A. R. Hoare

"/* You are not expected to understand this */" - comment in the context-switching code of the V6 Unix kernel

"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance" - Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin." - John von Neumann (1951)

"Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases." - Norman R. Augustine

"I mean, if 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your shoulders and say to yourself: 'Dijkstra would not have liked this', well that would be enough immortality for me." - Edsger Dijkstra

"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable." - Ralph Johnson

"They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore." - Olav Mjelde

"To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer."

"Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

"Error, keyboard not found - press F1 to continue." - BIOS system message

"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." - Donald Knuth

"When all else fails, read the instructions." - L. Iasellio

"The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children." - Linus Torvalds

"You can create art and beauty with a computer" - Steven Levy

"You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary." - Juuso Heimonen

"I don't understand why cheerleaders won't talk to me. Maybe I don't throw five touchdowns against Newport High, but let's see one of those football morons program in assembly language.!" - Chris Lipe

"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more user-friendly... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover" - Bill Gates

"The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose ?" -Tom Carey

"You have a hardware or a software problem" - service manual for Gestetner 3240

"Mr McKitrick, after a careful consideration I have came to the conclusion that your defence system SUCKS!" - from Wargames

"Heuristics are bug ridden by definition - if they didn't have bugs, then they'd be algorithms."

"Don't get suckered in by the comments - they can be terribly misleading. Debug only code." - Dave Storer

"Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature." - Bruce Brown

"Humans are the best value in computers - where else can you get a non-linear computer weighing only about 160lbs, having a billion binary decision elements, that can be mass-produced by unskilled labour?"

"Any significant boost in technology could just as easily be a rigged demo."

"Computers don't make mistakes. People do."

"Software is the soul to the lifeless body of the hardware." - Ong Lee Shyh

"I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them." - Isaac Asimov

"Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest." - Isaac Asimov

"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window." - Steve Wozniak

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." - Nathaniel Borenstein

"Anyone who slaps a 'this page is best viewed with Browser X' label on a Web page appears to be yearning for the bad old days, before the Web, when you had very little chance of reading a document written on another computer, another word processor, or another network." - Tim Berners-Lee (in Technology Review, July 1996)

"It is ridiculous claiming that video games influence children. For instance, if Pac-man affected kids born in the eighties, we should by now have a bunch of teenagers who run around in darkened rooms and eat pills while listening to monotonous electronic music." - Kristian Watson, Nintendo Inc. VP, 1989.

"The disadvantage of working over networks is that you can't so easily go into someone else's office and rip their bloody heart out" - Jim McDonald

"Trust The Computer. The Computer is your friend." - Paranoia RPG

"I invented it, Bill made it famous" - David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)

"Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to measure progress. Some cathedrals took a century to complete. Can you imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?" - Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982

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