'Twas the night before kickoff, and all through the house. Not a mug was
empty, instead all filled with stout.
The jerseys were hung in the closet with care, Knowing that gameday soon
would be there;
The Ozoners were rowdy and drunk off their a**es, Mocking at Joe Pa's
coke-bottled glasses;
The Pride in his sweater vest and black "Block O" cap, had just settled down
to watch that ESPN crap.
When on the television there arose such a clatter, it was Mark May after
eating 8 lbs of cookie dough batter.
I sprang from my seat to yell at the television, checking Mark's head for a
frontal labotomy incision.
His mouth exploding with idiocy and lies, dispariging the number one ranked
Ohio State Buckeyes.
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a big "block M" which we
all know is queer.
With and bitter coach leading, so predictable and dumb; A smile at that
moment thinking of 4-1!
More rapid than eagles his curses they came, And he whistled, and whined and
pouted all game;
Call holding!, call interference! give us more time on the clock!
Despite the fact my linebackers just got shaken out of their jocks!
Heading back to Columbus, heading back to the shoe, a vicious beating about
to ensue.
As the other visitors before them had learned on gameday, Saturdays bring no
joy to their brief Columbus stay;
So above the tailgates, their flags they flew, with grills full brats and
coolers of beer too!
And then, in an instance, I heard such a procession; it was the glorious and
traditional skull session.
As I raised my hands, pumping my fists to the sounds, Coach Tressel and the
team walked in with a bound!
He was calm and poised, nothing but smiles, not a care in the world; unlike
LLLLoyd who looked like he had been caught dating a 12 yr old girl.
A bundle of warriors stood all around Tressel's back; the crowd roared and
screamed, St. John's was packed!
His words--how they sounded! his eyes were on fire; his determination was
clear, impossible not to admire.
But LLLLoyd's droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow; you would think he
just tasted some Columbus yellow snow.
The frown on his face, and the slump in his back; only an expression made
when Chad Henne is your quaterback.
Chad had two left feet, and a goofy dumb smirk; Not suited for football but
more for a skirt.
His running back was short, not really a whole man; if hadn't known better I
could have swore it was Gary Coleman.
With knowing the problems that last five years had put in their heads; I was
for sure the Buckeyes had nothing to dread.
Carr's boys had no game, they hardly put up a fight; the Bucks were putting
them through hell all into the night.
Michigan had gotten used to loosing by touchdowns a'plenty; the Buckeyes were
the wolves and they were the bunnies.
And without a word, back to Ann Arbor they flew; Excuses as usual, LLLLLyod
had more than a few!
The Buckeyes once again in the front of National Title Contention, and the
PRIDE at home praying for a LLLLLoyd Carr contract extension!!! !!!!!