They'd started out as adversaries, but never really were. She was an interesting mix of heroine and criminal...some would use the word 'villainess', but he never did, it wasn't a term he could bring himself to apply to her.
She did far more good than bad, she'd earned his respect that way, not that he ever admitted that to her...
There were a lot of things he had never admitted to her, or to himself for that matter...
He'd always wanted to tell her how she made him feel, how his heart would skip a beat on those evenings they would cross each other in the night. He wanted to tell her how he enjoyed the games they played..cat and mouse, or in their case, Cat and Bat. Those games meant more to him then he had ever admitted, even to himself.
There were times at night that he would find himself feeling her warm body close to his, relishing the smell her perfume on his sheets...shuddering at the touch of her lips on his.
Then he'd wake, and her image would fade, and he was left alone with memories of the dreams he desperately wished were reality.
Always so untrusting, always needing to keep walls in place...to protect himself, or so he thought.
Protect himself from what?
From her? From the perceived weakness that came with allowing her into his heart? From the love that they'd shared, but he'd refused to admit openly?
Or from caring so much that he would not feel the pain should the games they played end?
If that was his reason..and he knew in some way it played a part..then he had been a fool.
Caring wasn't something he could turn off, it wasn't something that would simply go away because he demanded it do so.
The proof of that was in the emptiness that now gripped his soul so firmly it was difficult to even breathe. It was in the loneliness that enveloped him in a suffocating shadow that rivaled the darkness that had pervaded his very existnce since a small boy watched his parents tragically torn from his life.
Valentines Day ....
This Valentines day seemed to reflect the emotions that lay claim to him. Cold, bleak and damp, a bone chilling breeze had kept most people away from this place. He cut a loney figure as he padded through the snow towards his destination, his heart heavy, shoulders slumped as he hugged himself against the cold.
Valentines Day....A time for lovers to share their feelings, to confess their love to one another...
He knelt beside her, gloved hands brushing away the layer of snow. "I love you Selina..with all my heart." He murmured the words, wishing she could hear them...wishing he had said them years ago. A lump formed in his throat, threatening to overwhelm his strength, and he blinked back the tears that stung his eyes as he lay a single red rose gently against the headstone.
He reached out one hand to run his fingers across the carved epitaph, testimony to the woman who even in death held his heart. The cold, grey marble seemed like a mocking contrast to the warm, vibrant woman she was.
Regrets, remorse...and want for what he once could have had, but now could never be, finally sent a single tear trickling down his cheek.
Valentines Day...a day that brought some lovers only pain and heartache.
end
...
"Regrets, Remorse and Want" belongs to gottaluvit123 and is used with permission.