MILKING JOHN MALKOVICH

Written by
LIAM SCANLAN


OPEN

FADE IN

EXT. - MALKOVICH MANSION, NIGHT

We fade in on a shot of MALKOVICH MANSION.  The front gate has a
fancy iron M etched in a circle within the arch of the gate.  The
weather is dark and stormy.  Rain, thunder, lightning, wind.
Camera pulls up to show the mansion itself.  It is very tall and
broad, almost castle-like.  A steeple with a giant M stands tall
in the middle of the building.  It's mostly gray in color with
some teal-colored trimmings.  The full moon beams brightly to the
left of the steeple.

The camera zooms slowly into the M-shaped window on the front door.

INT. - MALKOVICH MANSION, SAME SCENE

We are in the foyer of MALKOVICH MANSION.  We see a bust of a
nude female statue standing in the middle of the room.  Curtains
hang over the doorways and archways leading to other rooms of the
mansion.  On the right side is a spiral staircase with red carpet
steps.

The camera drifts towards the stairs and begins to float up them.
As it goes up the counter clockwise stairs, we see various
paintings of JOHN MALKOVICH in different movie roles.  This lasts
for the better part of a minute as the camera goes up five
flights.  As it begins it's ascent, we can hear faint cries of
the word "Malkovich!"  The higher up the stairs the camera is,
the louder the cries get, but they are still slightly distorted
as they are being said in another room.  Thunder and rain can be
heard slightly in the background throughout.

The camera reaches the top of the stairs and stops.  At the end
of the hallway we see a wooden door, light seeping through the
vertical cracks in it and the horizontal space under it from the
floor.  The red carpet ends at this door.  The cries of
"Malkovich!" get louder now.  After staring at the door for a
moment, the camera approaches it and then the door opens.  When
the door opens, a flash of lightning appears in an arched window,
and we see in front of the window, a silhouette of a person bent
over in front of another person who is hunched over.  A loud,
clear, male cry of "Malkovich!" is heard when the lightning
strikes.

The camera slowly enters the room and pans clockwise around the
figures.  We can see in the moonlight that a butch elder female
in a black French Maid's outfit is sitting on a tiny stool with
\her arms clutching a man.  The man is wearing boxer shorts with
his arms tied together behind his back.  He is knealt down and
leaning forward.  As the camera pans around some more, we see the
man's head.  It is actor JOHN MALKOVICH.  The maid is pinching
his nipples and gently tugging on them alternately as little
droplets of milk drop out of MALKOVICH's nipples into a bowl.  
MALKOVICH doesn't seem to enjoy it, and after several gasps of
pain he cries out "Malkovich!"

The camera stares at this activitiy for another 15 seconds before
fading out.

THE END