A few years ago I picked up a book called “The 7 habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic” by Stephen R. Covey at work and read a few pages. I was distracted by some other matter and I did not return to the book until this year after a strong recommendation from a friend. For some reason I had in mind that this book was more of a business book, than a book about self-improvement, but I have found that the alternate sub-title on the cover “Powerful lessons in personal change” is an accurate descriptor of this book. Stephen Covey draws upon his research in the field of self-improvement and popular psychology literature to shape the theories presented in “7 habits.” Covey draws examples from his personal life and anecdotes from his work with different businesses to describe how the concepts in his book work in real life. Covey claims that he is not presenting any new concepts in “7 habits,” but he does present the material in a convincing manner that left me with a great deal to think about in regard to my personal behaviour and the way I think about various events.

I read this book, because of my general interest in self-improvement, but I feel it has taken on extra importance at this time in my life, because of the active personal improvement process I have undertaken in the last year. Two years ago I would have read this book and though these are great ides I should look at them more carefully some day. I am looking at the concepts presented in this book carefully today. I’ve taken some action and attempted changes based upon what I’ve read in this book. I would also have to say that this book has renewed my interest in personal attitudes and how they dominate personal behaviour.

In this review I will look carefully at some of the concepts presented in “7 habits” and how they have influenced me while I’ll look at others only fleetingly. I want you to read this book and draw your own conclusions and learn your own lessons, so I will try to limit my retelling of this book and talk more about how the concepts have affected my thinking.

Referring to self-improvement thinking in the past, Covey says “…the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic as the foundation of success – things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty and the Golden Rule. Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography is representative of the literature. It is, basically, the story of on man’s effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature”(p18).

Benjamin Franklin’s example tells me that the process that I am going through is not new and it is not unimportant. This example presents the concept of a principled life and the possibility that there is a proper set of rules that individuals could live by to be successful and balanced in their life. If one takes this concept as being true and I believe it is, then it would be important to identify these principles in order to see if you follow them normally or if they are lacking in your life. At the base of this book is the belief in the presence of a Character Ethic as Covey states: “The Character Ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human effectiveness…” (p.18).

Covey re-tells the fable of the goose and the golden egg to introduce to illustrate an important point about balance in our actions. A farmer once had a goose that one day laid a golden egg. Again the next day the goose laid another gold egg and so on to the point where the farmer got greedy and wanted more than one egg at a time. The farmer killed the goose and cut it open only to find, that there were no eggs inside. Covey explains with this fable that “true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden egg) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).”(p.32) So, this story is much more than a storey about greed, it is also a story about how we can shoot our selves in the foot by not carefully attending to those things which help us survive and enrich our lives.

As far as I see it the concept illustrated by this fable can applied far and wide to everything from our natural environment, to our technological capacities, to our social contacts and more. If we do not carefully tend those things that make our lives better, then our situation will deteriorate. These cherished things will disappear and our lives will ultimately, become worse. One obvious example of this point is our physical health. Today it is well understood that two of the most important components of your personal physical health are diet and exercise. If a person ignores either their diet or does not get sufficient exercise, then the quality and the quantity of their lives decreases. Our society is filled with people who have a wide variety of health problems that could be much reduced by a simple exercise regime and a healthy diet. I would say that most people in this situation lack a basic level of personal discipline which if present would make a difference in many areas of their life and not just in their physical health. In effect, these people are treating them selves as poorly as the farmer treated the goose.

Habit 1 covers our basic belief about and reaction to events that occur in our lives. Covey says we can be “reactive” to situations thinking that we are helpless to deal with a problem or we can be “proactive” and make conditions work for us. To me this is a powerful lesson in attitude awareness. We can choose to play the victim in situations or we can choose to see a difficult situation as a challenge. We can choose to make things better or to come to an understanding about something that we have not realized before. “It is not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us”(p. ) says Covey. A story recounted in the chapter on Habit 1 tells of a nurse who worked for a miserable, ungrateful man…(who) finds fault with everything I do…(and) makes the other nurses feel the same way. After some deep soul searching the nurse “realized that I could choose not to be miserable. At that moment I stood up, I felt as though I was being let out of San Quentin. I wanted to yell to the world, I am free!”(p.18) This is a powerful realization if you can fully understand it, for it releases you from the bondage of the control other people, organizations and events can have over your feelings and your well being. I still struggle with reactive moments, but I feel now that I understand more clearly that I have complete power over how I feel, I am able to overcome these moments more quickly. I then think about how I can turn the these negative situations into positive ones with some proactive thinking and actions.

My personal improvement project is an example of putting habit 1 into action. If I think honestly about it, for years I have felt helpless with respect to many parts of my life. I felt my work life was entirely controlled by others, that my relationships or should I say lack of relationships was due to some innate shyness that I had little power over and that my future was somehow in the hands of the fates who tossed good and bad events my way. My personal improvement project put some elements of my life under a microscope and I started giving them some serious thought. I started thinking about my ability to change those things about myself that I was not happy with and that I had not previously thought were changeable. As I did some reading and thinking I decided to take some risks and step outside my comfort zone and make some changes. Although some of those risks lead to dead ends I am still reverberating from some of the discoveries I have made and I know now that I am a better person for the changes that I have made. Acting proactively has changed my life! I intend to keep on with my project and reading this book has given me more fuel to make further changes in my life.

Habit 2 is also about the individual. It is a message as powerful as the first and it begins buy asking the reader to put themselves at their own funeral. The reader is asked to look back and ask themselves; what feel they have accomplished, what kind of person have they been, what would their friends, family and co-workers say about them?(p.97) This exercise leads to a message about how one should live their lives. Once again the power of individual choice is evident here and the reader is encouraged to carefully examine their lives and “begin with the end in mind.” A person can create their own personal life road map and then adjust their own attitudes principles and actions to navigate the territory on that map to live their own creation. As Covey puts it; “How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most”(p.98).

An important way to create this road map Covey suggests is to create a personal mission statement or philosophy of life. This personal mission statement will help guide you in your everyday actions. It will guide you in the way you intend to live your life, because you will be living with the “end in mind.”(p.106) I have created my own personal mission statement as a result of reading this chapter and I find it is adding some stability to my life. It is helping me to realize what is truly important to me and what is not. It hangs on my bedroom wall and I read parts of it every day. My PMS is a constant reminder of what matters to me and what I intend to be and do with my life. It reminds me how I intend to act and react to situations and it reminds me of some of the overall goals I have set in my life. and that I should be working toward those goals at all times. This is an important exercise and one that I plan to repeat on a regular basis to see if my life goals have changed or if I have come closer to achieving my life plan. It will also tell me if I have to work harder to achieve goals on which I have not made progress.

Covey reveals yet another personal habit for the individual, but I would like to touch on habit 4 which deals less with personal improvement and more with social or community improvement. To achieve Habit 4 strong personal principled character traits should already be established by players in a dispute or negotiation in order to arrange a win-win situation. We all can see that win-win should be the most desired outcome in any negotiation, but Covey proposes one future step called win-win or no deal. The no deal option allows an out in situations where no possible acceptable deal can be achieved.(p.213) Covey recounts the story of a family that sang together when the children were young, but as those children aged they discovered new interests and started moving away from the established family group. The mother set up a win-win or no deal negotiation so no-one would be compelled to an agreement that may not be a emotional win for everyone(p.215).

I have had a hard time trying to think of an example of a clear win/win event in my life. Much of the time I mainly think of pleasing other people, so I end up compromising. Often I simply don’t get involved in some things that involve serious negotiations. The things that I do that I believe are probably win/win situations are my volunteer activities. I win, because I feel good for doing these things and the organization wins for having my services. This, however, does not involve serious negotiations, because these systems are already set up, and volunteers just have to show up and get involved. The one volunteering activity that I have done that most required strong personal character traits, was the role I played as a “Big Brother” to a boy of a single parent. In this case the volunteers are role models for young children who do not have a male role model in their life. In the end the boys win for having a good role model and the volunteers win for simply being a friend to the youngster.

Habit 7 is about renewal. Covey covers four dimensions of a person’s nature and recounts how they should be maintained and enriched. These four dimensions are the physical, social/emotional, spiritual and the mental. Covey reviews these four dimensions and speaks of how to improve and sharpen each one so as to improve the “greatest asset you have-you.”(p.288) This chapter is more like a training manual listing things you can do to improve and maintain the four dimensions of a persons nature. This I find is not a fault in the book, because it illustrates to me clearly that I am doing some things well and that my thoughts about improving myself in other ways are on the right track, even thought they may not yet be fully realized. This habit also illustrates to me where some of my weakness lay and it gives me ideas on how I can direct my efforts to strengthening these aspects of my life to create balance among these dimensions to lead to balance in my life.

Covey explains that: “Renewal is the principle-and the process- that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.”(p.304) Much of the material in this chapter echoes the goals of my self improvement project, so I am encouraged to continue with my project, while applying Covey’s habit’s to improve my efficiency and to strengthen my personal character. I hope to ultimately become the person I would like to be known as being by my family, friends and colleges when I am gone.

I believe the concepts presented in this book are very important for anyone who is interested in self development and I would strongly recommend it as a necessary read for your research as it has been for mine.

After reading this book, I have found that I look at the world in new ways. I am thinking more about personal character issues, like integrity, role models and self-discipline. I find myself re-examining some of my previous beliefs in light of what I have read. Some of my views have changed, some have stayed the same and others still are re-developing, but I have not fully formed yet. I like a book that affects me in this way. A book of substance I find will grab you at the core and give you a good shake. It will set you down and say, “now, what will change?”