Haircut Names and Descriptions - A Cautionary Tale

The first experience shown below was sent in by a reader. The second experience is a message posted on the Hairnet Hotline by "Chaucer" on April 26, 1997. Read the moral of the story at the end.

Experience One (provided by a Buzztown reader)

The shortest haircut, (other than the burr that all guys are forced to get then they are 4-5 years old) was last summer.

I had only gone to my barber, Bill, three or four times, and had asked for my usual, "natural taper, a little off the top." One sweltering summer day, at least 90 degrees, I went in for a haircut. After he had the cape on, I decided to go a little shorter than usual. I told him, "lets do a regular taper, this time; I want it shorter than usual."

He looked at me, and said, "up thin?" I guess I didn't know what that meant, but after he started in the back with the clippers, I learned very fast! After he finished the back, I couldn't resist feeling. I placed my hand where my hairline usually began, and felt nothing but skin! I reached higher, then higher, and finally started feeling some hair about 3" above my hair line!

Apparently, "up thin" meant "low fade" to this guy. I knew I was in trouble when 1/2 to 1" of hair, off the sides, fell into my lap.

The shortest haircut of my life. As always, it took some getting used to, but I ended up liking it. However needless to say, I don't go to Bill unless it is summer!

Experience Two (posted on the Hairnet Hotline)

I find most barbers very willing to cut your hair the way you want IF you describe it reasonably well. I frequently hear guys with longer hair make efforts to get their hair cut shorter but their terminology is very ambiguous leaving the barber perplexed.

For example, a guy said yesterday, "I want it really short--down to the skin--on the sides and back and take all the top off, too, but not too short on top." Now what did he mean? I thought he wanted the top cut in a crewcut but not to the skin like the sides and back. But that's not what he wanted at all. He wanted the top left long enough to comb to the side with a part! I would not have equated that with taking "all the top off, too." Would you?

Then there was another guy within the hour who had hair about 2 inches long. He said he wanted the sides in a "fade" and "the top cut down." When the top was trimmed down to about an inch, he said he didn't want all the hair left on top. He wanted the top in a short crewcut and ended up having it about 1/8 inch--which is the look he wanted.

So, what I am saying is that it is critical to be specific with a barber in explaining what you want. Guys tend to be shy about this for some reason--especially if they are making a major change in their style (length).

The moral of the story

The moral of this story is to beware of using haircut terms with your barber. While it's fine to use terms like flattop or crewcut, whenever you use any term like this, you should also explain what you want, especially when you go to a new barber. If you just sit down and ask for a buzzcut, for example, you could be referring to a cut that is half an inch all over or a sixteenth of an inch all over. Your barber is either going to ask for more details or assume that you are leaving the decision up to him or her.

Terms that are less widely used or are not used in some geographic areas, like Ivy League, should be used with even more caution. These names may be useful to communicate a general idea of what you want, but you should first make sure that your barber has the same understanding of the term as you. You should then describe exactly what you want. Remember, barbers are not mind readers.

If you are changing styles, or it's been a while since your last haircut (shame on you), you will again need to give your barber a good idea of what you are after.

Finally, don't say "yes" to a term suggested by your barber, unless you are sure that you know what that term means. It's OK to ask questions and it's OK to explain what you want. By doing this, you make your barber's job easier and you will hopefully get a better haircut.

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